Hello everyone!
First of all I must apologize for the enormous time took to release this chapter. I was previously planning on releasing this at the end of JULY but life didn't seem to like me that much and decided to put me down for awhile.
This was also when I finished Mass effect 3 again and oh man... Just... that ENDING... Extended Cut helped but not that much once I began thinking again.
It managed to make me angry every time I do anything mass effect related and I simply couldn't write this for awhile. But I think I'm okay now and all plot bunnies are threatening to over run my mind. So I apologize once more for the long absence and here is the next Chapter.
Enjoy!
Slight Update(5th of Sept): Just today, 3 days after publishing this, I realized I posted the older version of the chapter. There's nothing different about the story. Just some slight, miniscule fix in grammar.
Chapter 2
"How may I help you Commander?"
"Is there anything I should know?"
"Nothing right now. Is there anything else, Commander?"
"That'll be all."
"Good luck out there Shepard."
Now wasn't that nice? Wasn't this plain, boring, slightly flirtatious conversation so much more pleasant for everyone involved? Apparently not, because Yeoman Kelly Chambers was a sick masochist who took pleasure in hearing her Commander say things like:
"Chambers, your credit chit tastes like strawberry jam."
Well, yes, it would after you poured three jars of it all over the desk! Where the hell did you even get them anyhow? Strawberry jams don't even get supplied to the Normandy!
The redhead sighed heavily in hopes of releasing some of the mountainous pile of stress she had built up, before turning towards the mentally unstable blonde sitting on the bed once more. The Commander had been going at her pillow for awhile now, chewing on the soft fabric with an abnormally determined look that one would expect from a martial artist in the height of battle(better she chew a pillow than her underwear though.), while the Yeoman quietly unpacked her belongings on the couch. Kelly had been giving nervous glance at the Commander ever since she took her first bite at the cushion. She had to make sure Shepard did not show any signs of interest doing anything else around the room. The last time Kelly left her alone the blonde began screeching like a harpy and threw a biotic warp at the sound system/alarm clock for no particular reason than the fact that it glowed.
To say that Kelly was getting used to Shepard's behavior was like saying a stick of cheese with a purple cape began dancing and singing trying to get people to eat it: It was weird, implausible and just downright impossible.
The last two hours for her had been hectic, and she was afraid that it was not going to be the worst two hours of her life, despite being one so far.
Two hours ago, after stopping the blonde from reenacting the scene from a classic zombie movie and biting a whole chunk out of her neck, the redhead was ordered by the XO to move in with the Commander as her live-in nurse(Well, officially she was her 'personal assistant' but at this point the two were basically the same thing). The redhead had reluctantly walked to the sleeping quarters to pack her belongings, forgetting the fact that the whole CIC, and the people at the Crew's Quarters (which was, all hail her mighty luck, every single crewmember due to it being dinner time) had seen the 'licking incident.'
The moment she stepped outside the Medical wing it was as though someone accidently fired the Cain in the dining hall. She was simply bombarded by questions from the curious crew. And the things they asked were... less than sane.
"Chambers, are you shagging the Commander?"
"You whore! You're using the Commander to get better accommodation!"
"It's okay if you're going to be the Commander's sex slave, Kelly! We'll be there for you when you need our emotional support."
"Is it true that the Commander is an alien who can impregnate you with her foot? *GASP!* Are YOU pregnant with Shepard's baby, Kelly?"
Where do they even get these ideas, and in such short time? They were just... weird more than offensive. How could they even think that any of them made any sense? Now Kelly couldn't walk around the ship anymore without having at least one person come up to her to either question, insult or, the worst of them all, try and console her about her predicament of being the Commander's personal sex slave.
Why did every rumor have to be sexual in nature anyway? Was this the kind of image she had on everyone? Not the cheerful, kind lady full of smiles that everyone would like to be friends with, but some sort of vile skank of a woman who would use her body to get what she wants? She did like to flirt time to time but that didn't mean she would put herself out like some cheap whore on Omega.
Now, she hated to admit this but, if Shepard hadn't been there with her licking her face when she walked out there probably would have been a lot more questions than there was. So much so that Kelly probably would have drowned in the flash flood of questions. She had forgotten that the crew was scared of the notorious Cerberus killer as much as the Yeoman did before she met Shepard in person. If there was any bright side to her day so far, it was watching many of her annoyingly nosy crewmates wear a pale, haunted look whenever the Commander was in their sight.
That, of course, didn't mean she instantly liked having Shepard hanging around her. No, she'd have to be completely insane to say that she enjoyed Shepard's strange attention. She didn't think anyone would want to have to drag around a six feet two, fully grown woman who laps at their skin like they're made of chocolate in public.
The Yeoman grabbed another shirt to fold but then dropped her hands for a moment to sigh inwardly once more.
She knew she had to stop feeling like this. She couldn't be annoyed by the blonde forever. Shepard did have a mental condition, after all. And she was her psychologist, no less. She couldn't let her feelings cloud her judgment, ever. She had to imagine and try to understand all the pain the Commander must be suffering right now. The woman didn't even have the remote concept of self-control remaining in her system. Think of the horrors she must be going through, losing all control of her body all the time, not knowing when she'll do something potentially harmful to herself and others. She was her Personal Assistant now, her caretaker. She had to understand her pain, and try and ease them whenever she could. She needed to have a Friendly demeanor, give Love and Support, and all the rest of the sweetness in life Shepard may need.
"Chaaaabaaarsss." The oddly elongated call grabbed Kelly's attention.
Okay, here we go. Friendly demeanor. Love and Support. If she does anything weird she doesn't mean anything by it, she just can't help herself.
"Yes, Commander? How can I help you?" The Yeoman dropped the shirt in her hands down on to the couch and turned to the blonde and somehow managed to pull off a genuine smile. This miracle was short lived as Kelly's expression contorted into one of horror when she saw what Shepard had been doing.
"Oh my god, Commander, stop! You can't eat that!" She blurted out, quickly running over to the blonde who had been stuffing her mouth with the bed sheet. From the look of it she seemed to have already swallowed some parts.
Suppressing an appalled irk, Kelly sat next to the woman and carefully pulled at the sheet, proving her suspicion correct when the sheets slowly came out the Commander's throat covered in thick mucus.
When the entire sheet had come out Kelly gave a small frown at the smiling woman before her.
"Shepard what were you trying to do?" She scorned the woman as she would a child. "Do you know how dangerous that was?"
Shepard's reply after a long pause was a small smile and a hug, which Kelly couldn't help but return with a resigned sigh. She then sighed again when she felt slow, wet licks on her neck where Shepard has buried her face in.
Okay, Chambers, come on. Friendly demeanor. Love and Support.
"Chambers, you taste really nice. You know what would make you even better? STRAWBERRY JAM!"
Oh god, this was going to be a long day.
Miranda was not in a good mood that day, and talking to The Illusive Man, it seemed, only made the matters worse. The XO was reporting to the middle aged man about the mentally unsound Commander's recent decision on the main priorities of their mission which was, to say the least, not the slightest bit viable in terms of practice.
"I want a krogan!" Shepard's flamboyant announcement before she ran over to latch herself at the Yeoman echoed in her mind in a form of a monster migraine.
She could not believe that woman. She remembered advising her, time and time again, that the salarian was the better choice of operatives to recruit first. Dr Solus was the one who was intelligent enough to make a counteragent for the Seeker Swarms in the shortest amount of time. And the other two recruits, Archangel and Zaeed Massani, were both on the same space station, Omega. It was obviously the most logical choice in this time deficient mission of theirs.
But nope, who cares if another two or three colony is hit and a thousand more disappear to have god knows what be done to them? Shepard wanted a krogan. Screw logical decision in the rear, they were going to Korlus.
What was worse was that when she reported this fact to the Illusive Man, the man who personified the term 'brutally logical,' simply asked her to 'have faith in the Commander's decision, even if it may seem strategically unwise.' Strategically unwise? Bloody retarded was more like it. Has everyone in the world gone completely mad? They were trying to save the human race, not have a game of 'follow the king' with a mentally ill soldier.
'Logical.' Maybe that's the problem. Miranda scoffed while gently massaging her forehead. I should have told her Dr Solus breathes out ponies from his mouth and shoots rainbows from his nostrils while he dances to Tiny Tim. That would have gotten her attention.
In all truth, though, the Commander's disorder had been foreseen by the Lazarus Cell even before the Project began. The damage to the brain was quite obvious when it was recovered and most did not believe that the Galactic hero could be recovered, or at least be recovered to a point where she was able to do her usual 'saving the world' act. When the project was green lighted (or Cerberus term for 'you-do-this-or-you-die') the team had prepared for the worst. And while the symptoms the Commander displayed were nowhere near the very worst they prepared for, it wouldn't be a lie if Miranda said she was expecting something less... erratic.
But nothing's going right these days. The brunette thought with a sigh, I guess I should be satisfied with the fact that the Commander is at least self-capable.
"Whoa! Commander, what are you doing with that? Put that down!"
"Oh my god, run!"
"Armed personnel on deck. All crew evacuate the CIC area. A lockdown is in effect."
... Or maybe I should consider killing that woman again and see if I can rebuild her better. It'll be like a Lego set.
At that moment everything went to hell.
It began with a loud crash, followed by an extreme turbulence. The normal white lights of the Communications room switched to dark red, signaling emergency.
"Live fire on CIC main deck. A hull breach is imminent. All personnel evacuate the CIC area immediately."EDI's melodic voice took an urgent tone as it echoed out the speakers.
Having tripped on to the floor from the turbulence, Miranda quickly balanced herself and rushed out from the Comm room, towards the CIC. Or she would have, if the Armory door wasn't locked. Right, the lockdown.
"EDI, what is happening?" She yelled at the AI.
"The Commander has equipped herself with a grenade launcher and proceeded to fire on to the left wing of the CIC main deck." EDI explained ever so calmly, despite the horrified look on the XO's face.
"WHAT! Why?"
"I cannot be certain. According to my surveillance, Shepard came up from her private quarters and immediately entered the armory without any oth-"
The AI was cut off by another explosion, followed up by a devastating amount of turbulence.
"Hull breech on the CIC deck. Raising kinetic barrier to contain air pressure. Shield capacity at hundr-"
Explosion. Turbulence.
"-eighty nine percent. Beginning shield recharge."
The XO was struck speechless, but managed to straighten herself out quick enough to ask, "Where is Chambers? Is she there with her?"
"Ms Chambers is inside the Captain's Cabin. I have already alerted her of the situation, though she has yet to respond. It is likely that she has sustained injury during the turbulence caused by the explosion."
"Lovely." Miranda muttered.Why is this happening to me? "Open this door and send word for Dr Chakwas to send the Commander's medication up here. Also, try and get Chambers up to the CIC deck as soon as possible. I want some explanation for this."
"Understood. Unlocking armory doors."
With a silent beep, the red control panel of the door momentarily turned green before disappearing. The door opened and revealed the CIC, and to be honest, Miranda was lost for words at what she saw.
The hull breech was unusually large. A large section of the port side wall was gone, giving a clear view of the deep space outside. Wires and parts stuck out like thorns, sparks spraying about like a fountain. The room was dyed in red under the emergency light and the blue glow of the kinetic barrier around the hull breech contrasted rather awkwardly. The corridor to the cockpit was shut with the red holopad hovering over it to indicate its locked state. All in all, the place was an absolute mess.
But that's not what surprised Miranda. No, she was a professional who's been through hell and back and honestly, this was no worse than what she's faced a hundred times before. What did surprise her at the moment was the fact that Shepard was standing before the barrier crying like a little girl and...
Okay, wait...
Why the hell isn't she wearing any pants?
Alright, now the XO wasn't so much as surprised as she was confused. She initially thought Shepard ran away from Chambers and decided to blow up the bloody ship; an action made by her random impulses. But she was crying without her pants. There was just something very wrong in that phrase (besides the whole 'crying with no pants' thing)
The Great Commander Shepard, savior of the Citadel, and the Galaxy. While crying away like a little girl who lost her balloon, she blasts away her enemies with her semi-nudity.
Oh god, Miranda thought fearfully. Am I high? I definitely don't remember doing anything illegal. Maybe it was that damn pervert, Donnelly. Did he spike that drink he handed me at dinner? I swear to god when I meet that man again I'll-
The brunette's internal rant was cut off when Shepard fired another three rounds of explosives at the glowing barrier, the resulting shockwave forcing Miranda to take cover behind the CIC desk. At that exact same moment the elevator door opened, and through it came out Yeoman Chambers without her pants.
Okay that's it then. I'm high. Miranda gave up. No doubt about it. Unless it's the Normady's official 'no-pants day,' I'm definitely high on something.
"Oh my god. What the hell is she doing?" The Yeoman asked her in panic as she scrambled to cover next to the XO.
"Oh I don't know." Miranda gave an unstable laugh, her face an unnatural hybrid of a crazed smile and wrathful frown. "How about you tell me what the hell I'mdoing in real life? Am I on my bed? Am I sprawling over the Comm Room with the Illusive Man looking at me with his poker face? He probably wouldn't even bother to call a medical staff. Who cares if that bitch Miranda is on the floor all drugged up, right? He'll just sit there sipping at his bloody cigarette that never burns the fuck out because it's made by WILLY-BLOODY-WONKA!"
"What are you talking about? Why are you yelling?" Kelly asked in obvious confusion.
"Why am I yelling? WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU WEARING ANY PANTS?" she roared, her urge to shake the woman before her barely suppressed.
"It's the Commander's fault!" The Yeoman yelled back defensively. Though the red lights of the CIC made it impossible to tell, the XO was certain that she was blushing. "She had to god damn ... Look it's none of your business!"
"Chambers, there's a hole in the CIC and we're going to get spaced if we don't stop that woman soon. And instead of running at a trigger happy woman holding a grenade launcher head on like a jackass, I would like to have a solution in mind that I know will work. Now tell me what you said to her that made her react like this!"
"What did I say to her?" Kelly was appalled at the accusation. "She's the one who...! Look, all I said to her was-"
"She called me fat!" Shepard wailed out at the two, effectively stopping the Yeoman who gaped at her in disbelief. "She called me fat and ugly!"
Miranda looked at the Commander, then back at the redhead with a frown, "Chambers, why the hell would you call her that?"
"I didn't! She's making it up!" Kelly blurted out, finding it rather difficult to form words as her anger began getting the better of her.
"She called me fat, ugly, and then she called me flat! I'm not flat you big dummie! Mine are size bigger than yours!"
"No they're not!"
"Chambers!"
"I did not call her any of that! She's the one who..."
"She what?"
"Look, I didn't do anything to hurt Shepard's feeling okay?"
"Then why is she crying?"
"I DON'T KNOW! I'm the one who wants to cry here!"
"Oh for the love of-Duck!"
"Whoa!"
Miranda brought the Yeoman down to the floor just as the large debris from the ship flew over their head, then watched as the debris embed itself into the elevator door.
"Well, there goes the medical team idea." She muttered, then turned to the redhead and continued in a calm voice. "Chambers, there are no other help coming. If you want to live to see tomorrow again, I need you to tell me everything that has happened, right now."
Kelly, who looked catatonic from the near death experience, nodded frantically. "O-okay, alright. I'll tell you." she shook. "I'll tell you. Just... let me... let me calm down a bit."
Miranda nodded, knowing that pushing the girl would only slow her down.
Kelly took several deep breathes, her hands laid over her racing heart. After a moment the Yeoman seemed to get her bearings and finally began telling her story.
"It all began when the Commander ate my underwear..."
Aaaaand I'm going to cut off there with a cliffhanger... sort of... not really... More like a WTF-hanger.
I was actually planning on going to Omega or Korlus in Chapter 3 but I guess that has to wait for chapter 4.
Well, I must also apologize for the lack of plot advancement in this chapter despite its lateness but I wanted to develop Kelly and Shepard's relationship a bit before I went on with the main plot of Mass Effect 2. And if there are any mistakes or if anything feels rushed in the chapter it is because I lack focus due to it being my mid-sem exam period (because my troll brain only ever wants to write when I have tons of assignments and exams only days away)
I'll try and update before around the 3rd of October if possible so please stay tuned!
My deepest apologies again, for the lateness, and thank you for reading,
WhiteWorms100
P.S. Shepard is six feet two in this fic(that's 188cm!) simply because my mind won't let me imagine otherwise.
P.P.S. Dr Mordin Solus now breathes ponies from his mouth and shoots rainbows from his nostrils while he dances to Tiny Tim. Because he is awesome like that.