Hey guys! I have been gone for a while but I'm back now. I decided to remove the previous chapter (I felt like the story is moving too slow) and start over, beginning on the prologue; I'm going to write the story beginning on what happened after that.
Disclaimer: Stephanie owns it all.
"Bella," a voice called out to me, "Bella, wake up." It said again.
I slowly opened my eyes, hoping that last night was just a nightmare. I looked around and realized that I wasn't in my room. Here I am, lying on the floor in the music room. This just proves that it was all real. And it hurts just as it did the night before. I turned to look at whoever woke me up. Somehow I resent whoever it was; I specified last night that I don't want to wake up again.
"Alice? Why are you here?" I asked. My throat hurts a bit because of all the crying I did last night.
"I was looking for you." She smiled at me. Sad, though. It didn't even reach her eyes.
"why?" I stood up and fixed my clothes, not looking at her because I'm afraid she would see the pain in my eyes.
"my cousin wanted me to give you this." She held up a necklace in front of me; A silver chain with two rings dangling as the pendant. I recognized it immediately. The two rings are mine and Edward's; our "engaged to be engaged" rings. I took it from Alice's hands and examined it on my own. I can still vividly remember the night he gave me the ring like it was yesterday.
Flashback:
It was the night of our graduation. Apparently, Edward thought it would be great to go to our meadow. Since I am wearing heels, he forced me to ride on his back till we get there.
"why are we here Edward?" I asked as we sat down on the grass.
"can't I take you here without any hidden agenda?" he looked at me intently.
"maybe?" I'm still doubtful. I didn't get my reply. We just sat there without talking. It was very quiet, very serene and peaceful. I turned to look at Edward and saw him staring at the sparkling stars.
"Beautiful" he said suddenly.
"yeah, very…" I searched for something to add, "Sparkly." Apparently, my dumb choice of words made him laugh.
" you know what else sparkles?"
"what?"
''this." He held up a gold band in front of me. I smiled. Is he proposing? We are too young for that, but if he is, I would say 'yes'.
"I'm not yet proposing Bella," he said, surprisingly, I am not even sad, "this will be our 'engaged to be engaged ring', I refuse to call it promise ring 'cause that would be way too cheesy."
I laughed at what he said. "engaged to be engaged? What does that even mean?"
He took my hand and slid the ring on my ring finger, as he did, he said, "this means that I'll ask you to marry me someday, this means that we always belong with each other no matter what, you are mine and I am yours." He placed his lips on the ring on my finger. I'm close to crying now.
"so am I the only one that is 'engaged to be engaged'?" I questioned him. If I am to be 'engaged to be engaged' then he should be too.
"I have one too" he showed me another ring and I put it on him. I look up at him and saw the love in his eyes. I'm never gonna love someone as much as I love him.
"I love you", I said sincerely.
"I love you too, so much Bella" and with that he kissed me.
End flashback
"He left me Alice."I am still dazed. This can't be. I love him too much. Why does he have to give up.
"I know, Bella." She hugged me tightly. I just cried and cried.
"I love him." But I let him go.
"Bella…" Alice let me cry until I calmed down. In those minutes of crying, I realized that there's no point in grieving anymore. He can't see it. It will not bring him back. I realized what he did was probably the best for the both of us. And I just have to accept it.
"Bella, I'm sorry." Alice said. I walked to our room silently. I have nothing to say. He's still the one who's on my mind. When we arrived, I just sat in front of the mirror; staring at my reflection. I am not the same girl as I am back then. My eyes are dead; I'm paler than ever, most importantly, I look miserable. I decided to wear the necklace. I wanted to do it to remind myself that Edward was real. He really did love me. I touched the rings, inscribed with our names inside, the symbol of our love, the same ring that I threw at him when we broke up. I was stupid, I still am.
"Alice, where is he?" I asked.
"He said he's going to Oxford."
"That's where he'll continue his degree?"
"Yes. He said that he'll stay there until he graduates." She answered honestly. So he'll be there for a few years, until he fulfills his dream to become a doctor.
" Bella, I'm really sorry" she apologized for her cousin.
"it's okay, it was really my fault in the first place."
"but he shouldn't have done that, he should've waited!" Alice was hurt too. I know she hates it that her cousin and her best friend are not together anymore. I sat beside her on the bed.
"I will not hold him back. It's unavoidable Alice. It's for the best. We are hurting each other too much." I felt tears pricking my eyes. It's true, we are hurting each other. "if we are really meant to be together, then we'll find our way to each other again after everything," I continued, "but for now, I have to let him go."
Let him go. Easier said than done. But if it is what we both need, then I'm willing to do it for him. Because I love him after everything said and done.
that's it. i also changed the title.
tell me what you think. Please Review.
Thanks!