Ok…so…inspired by a line from episode 18 (does anyone understand what happened? What the hell is up with this arc? It's over now…right?) where Sebastian refers to ciel as his soul or something…
Well, I decided I wanted to have a go at a sebas-chan pov. i don't think it really worked. Oh well! *cheerful face* well, I think he's harder to write than ciel because he has less emotion and you don't really know his motivation…sigh…well hopefully what you lose in continuity and success, you gain in originality and interest?
lol. I totally made up the part about the contract *butchers canon regardless* yup. It's a load of crap. Sorry about the boring explanation, but nothing really makes sense without it. Oh well. I put it at the beginning so it's not really part of the story, hope it doesn't mess up the flow too much.
Once again, kuro = not mine.
And thankyou to everyone who reviewed and alerted! It made me so happy ^^ this chapter is for you.
CHAPTER TWO – Shadow and Only
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A demon is bound to the one who summoned them, and must do their bidding until the human dies and their soul is offered up as payment. It's a simple enough contract, where the soul acts as insurance for both parties. If either party breaks the contract, they forfeit their right to it.
Therefore, for the duration of the agreement, it belongs to neither of them, but is held in common.
As long as the human lives, the soul is shared.
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Sebastian pulls the sheets up and gently lays them over Ciel's unresponsive body. Once he'd stopped screaming, the boy had just seemed to go limp, although hot tears had continued to swell from his reddened eyes for a short time afterwards. It had only been six o'clock by the time the young Earl had calmed down, but he had been so exhausted by his outburst that the butler had decided to put him to bed straight away.
Going over to the window to shut the drapes, the demon hears a slight noise from the bed. He turns, eyes glinting red in the winter moonlight. Ciel has rolled onto his side and is facing Sebastian, body curled into itself, both eyes wide and shining, with an odd, inscrutable look on his face. It could be pleading, or resentment. It could be almost anything.
"Yes, Young Master?"
When Sebastian had gone to undress his master for bed, and first touched one slender shoulder, it had flinched away. The boy had forced himself to stay still after that, but it was clearly a struggle.
"I…" It's a murmur, a broken whisper.
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Sebastian is defined by Ciel's soul as much as the boy is. It's by his soul that the demon was called into the world, and it's his soul the butler is bound to.
At this point it's hard to say which of them it belongs to more. It's a string, a chain that holds the two together. It's an unspoken wall across which they regard each other in their dance of distrust and dependence.
Sebastian may well be Ciel's death. He will be there when the Earl finally dies, and he will take his soul and keep it. But Ciel is Sebastian's life. The butler is living by grace of his will. Every breath that he takes on this earth is only possible because of it.
Ciel's soul is his. Ciel is his soul.
They're one and the same.
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Sebastian moves silently across the carpet to stand by the side of the bed. He looks down at his master, his head tipped slightly to one side. The boy stares back up, silky strands of black falling over the eye that bears the contract. Looking like this, he could be any teenage boy, brows furrowed and cheeks tinged at this invasion of personal space. Sebastian watches slight muscles tense under the damp white skin. With the mark on his eye hidden, Ciel is nothing. A fragile human. The demon could break him with a finger. So strange to think that this is the creature who controls him, the creature who called him into being. So weak. So small.
The boy frowns and looks away, no longer able to meet the butler's eyes.
"I…apologise." His cheeks flush with embarrassment. "My behaviour earlier was…unseemly and unforgivable. I should not have attacked you like that. I should not have said such things." And in a much smaller voice, almost inaudible, the voice of Ciel the child, the Ciel who never grew up, "I'm sorry." The words are hardly there at all. "Forgive me."
A dark smile slowly spreads inside Sebastian. So they're back to pretending he's nothing more than a butler. Really Ciel should have learned by now that it's useless. He only does this when he's absolutely overwhelmed by the enormity of what he's done in using himself as a bargaining chip.
Even after all these years the boy has not realised just how suffocatingly, inextricably closely they are tied together. But this confusion, a smothering combination of loathing and need, seems to be a sign that on some subconscious level, at least, it's finally sinking in. You can only feel that way about something that's a part of you, something you can't escape. It's a feeling that comes only with sharing one life, as they are.
"Don't be foolish, Young Master."
The blue eye flicks up at him, glaring.
"Wha-"
The butler pulls one spotless glove from his hand. Even in the darkness of the room, the contract stands out clear against the pallor of his skin. Leaning forward, with cool fingers he brushes away a soft lock of hair, exposing Ciel's other eye, the one he keeps hidden.
"Surely you must have realised by now that with this, you don't need to apologise."
"I don't-" The young Earl is now more angry than embarrassed, and more confused than either.
"Really now, Young Master. I'm surprised at you. How much longer are you going to make me wait?"
Sebastian feels the familiar tug of his lips curving upwards as Ciel tries to understand his words.
Even if this boy is his whole world, how amusing it is to put this look on his face, and make him squirm.
How Ciel must hate him.
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Ciel had finally ended his engagement with Elizabeth shortly after his seventeenth birthday. The girl had been heartbroken, of course, but it had been clear for some time that neither of them really wished to go through with it. Her family had seen the change in the boy as he had got older, and agreed to breaking it off. This was often the case for those who made the demonic contract. They became drawn further and further in, the two beings with one soul between them unable to distinguish themselves from the other. This was certainly the case for the young Phantomhive. He had become colder than ever, less human, and if he was not required to go out for business would seldom leave his study, often letting days go by without seeing anyone other than his faithful demon butler.
Thinking on the failed relationship makes Sebastian smirk. The betrothal had been a weak contract, secondary to the one carved in blood. No wonder it had broken. Really, Ciel had no business trying to share his life with that woman. With any woman. That place is already taken. They are, in the fullest sense, soulmates. It seemed to take several years for the message to take hold, but the boy eventually realised that he was tied to Sebastian, and him only.
He wonders if Ciel has ever noticed, when the butler is touching him, dressing him, bathing him, that their pulses match. It makes sense, though. Both bodies are counting on the same clock and moving together towards the day when one will shut down and the other will cease to exist. If they share a soul, then why not heartbeats?
I move for you. Breathe for you.
You don't understand.
Watching in silent servitude. The demon looking up at the boy. He was a little disheartened the first time the order came, Never leave my side. Truly, it meant that Ciel had not yet comprehended the depth of their bond. Those words have been repeated often, throughout the years, and every time Sebastian grows a little more disappointed. But still he waits, hoping that one day his master will come to understand.
I'm waiting.
Closer and closer, Ciel draws nearer to finally accepting. The evening's events only prove that.
I'll always wait, for you.
He lets a thin smile spread over his face. His eyes narrow and his lips part slightly.
Only you.
My soul.
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this is the point where I decide I've mangled this chapter badly enough and just leave it to bleed on the floor.
major suckage. orz. And yet I tried so hard. I cried blood, or whatever. Yeah, it was gross. Um. Sorry if you were expecting yaoi.
ummm…so what does everyone think Sebastian plans to do with ciel's soul once he gets it? The most likely to me is that he's gonna eat it *nummycielsoulgoodnessMUNCH*. But that seems too dull and, frankly, unromantic to a fanfic writer. Anyone have an opinion? Please let me know if you drop a review~~~~~
also – should there be a third chapter? Although I really have no idea what to put in it. Well, if enough people ask, I can maybe come up with something? Don't really know what else there is to say though.