Author's Note: So this is a continuation of 'Getting Carter', I really hadn't planned to do anything more with it but tonight I got inspired and so here you go. I make no promises that there will be more, but you never know. I hope you enjoy this and if you read it please take a moment to review. Thanks ~ Pari

It had been a week since he had spent the night watching over an emotionally exhausted Carter. One week since he had learned the tragedy of her past, which gave him, some insight into the woman she was. Every day since that night, he had purposefully kept his distance staying close enough in case she had needed him but far enough away as so not to stifle or crowd her. He told himself that whatever may have happened to Carter in the past it would never change his opinion of her, yet now that he knew in detail what she had endured he found that he could not help the changing need within him to 'save' her as if she were some weak, fragile damsel in distress. He knew that that wasn't who Carter was and he knew that she would not appreciate him treating her that way and thus the reason he had avoided her. So he had been genuinely surprised to see Carter while out checking a lead on their latest number, he literally bumped into her as she exited the apartment complex he was about to enter.

"Hey," Carter was the first to speak her voice hinting at her surprise but also slight irritation. "What are you doing here…please tell me you didn't have anything to do with the murder on 5th street." She continued as she rolled her eyes a bit.

"No, I'm working our latest number and so far there have been zero body count." Reese replied with his usual smirk.

"So far huh," Carter repeated as a smile played at her lips. In reply, Reese quirked his left brow and shrugged a little. "Ok then…good."

"If there was a murder on 5th why are you all the way over here?" Reese posed his own question.

"This was the address listed on the victim's license; turns out he was living with his mother. I just had to give her the bad news." Carter stated as she and Reese both stepped away from the door and cleared a path for two tenants leaving the building. "Uhm…by the way I wanted to say thank you for helping me that night, and uh…staying with me. You didn't have to do that. I would have thanked you sooner but well I haven't seen or heard from you." She threw out, she hadn't wanted her bitterness to come through her tone but it had and Reese noticed it.

"You don't have to thank me Jos and Finch has had me very busy lately with numbers, seems to get busier around holidays." Reese offered in way of an apology for his avoidance.

"Oh well you haven't been calling me for help with those numbers so I kind of thought you were avoiding me or something."

"Why would I do that?" He questioned and he hoped she wouldn't see through his bullshit.

"Well you now know a doozy of a secret of mine, one I've only ever shared with one other man. I just figured you'd act like he did and think I was fragile or weak, or couldn't handle myself." Carter explained and Reese actually chuckled at her words, which made her flash hard eyes upon him at his audacity to laugh at her.

"Carter I can think of a lot of words to describe you, and I know that fragile and weak should never be on the list, and you've saved my ass enough for me to know that you can most definitely handle yourself." He said as if reminding himself.

"Good, glad you know, so why have you been avoiding me?" She asked and looked him directly in the eyes. Reese held her gaze as he stood silently contemplating giving her his true answer and fearing her reaction. Before he could find the nerve to voice an answer, something interrupted his thoughts. When he reached up to tap his earpiece Carter quickly broke their gaze and bowed her head a bit, already knowing who was on the other end. "I better get back to the station, tell Mr. Finch I said hello." Carter said and then quickly moved to her car parked on the nearby curb.

"Nice timing Finch," Reese spoke out to the man on the other end of the line as his eyes followed Carter's retreat.

"I'm sorry Mr. Reese did I interrupt something important?"

"Nothing that won't keep, by the way Carter says hi." Reese stated as he entered the complex and got back to his earlier task.

"Oh and how is our detective?" Finch asked, as he looked up from the computer screen, genuinely interested in hearing how Carter was doing.

"Seems fine, tough like always," Reese assessed.

"Given what happened to her I can now understand that toughness and resilience she has, I find that I respect and admire her more for it." Finch stated and the words made Reese more irritated with himself for not having that same reaction.

"Was there a reason you called Finch?" Reese asked and Finch could hear the irritable tone through the line but didn't care to press the matter, because he knew it probably had something to do with Carter. Finch had noticed that Reese had insisted on not involving her in their recent cases.

"Well I wanted to let you know that our latest number is no more, it seems that Mr. Jackson just tried to rob a deli two blocks from your location and he was killed in a shoot-out with the cops. Therefore, there is no need to search his apartment and he is no longer a threat to Ms. Amelia Jenkins."

"Wow, well that's never happened before. So what's next?"

"Well it looks like you have the rest of the day off to handle any personal issues, and if you need suggestions I can tell you that Detective Carter just reported in to her Precinct that she was also taking the rest of the day off. So maybe…"Finch heard the click that told him Reese had hung up on him, which Finch had expected would be the response to his suggestion.

Reese had hung up on Finch, he didn't like it when Finch stuck his nose into his personal business or tried to solve his issues. As far as he was concerned, he had no 'real' issues with Carter, these issues were his own and so he had no need to see her, but still Reese couldn't stop his feet from taking him to Carter's door, or stop his finger from ringing her bell.

Carter had just stepped from the steaming hot shower when she heard the doorbell. She hurriedly wrapped a towel around her body and pulled the shower cap from her hair before she exited the bathroom. When the bell chimed, again she called out, "I'm coming…I'm coming," She mumbled that last part to herself as she moved to the door while she dripped water on the floor in her wake. Carter opened the door to find Reese who looked to be a bit stunned as he stood before her staring down at her. She was sure that his expression probably matched hers because the last person she had expected to find on her doorstep was John Reese. "John what are you doing here, is something wrong?"

"No, I just figured we could finish our earlier conversation." Reese replied as he averted his eyes from her wet flesh down to his shoes. "Nice towel, sorry if I'm interrupting your 'me' time." He continued and Carter clutched at the towel as she stepped from the door.

"Sorry I just got out of the shower, come on in and give me a minute to get dress, and then we can continue our conversation." She then moved to her bedroom and closed the door behind her. Reese entered the apartment and after be closed the door he made his way to the living room. He let his eyes roam over the numerous pictures hanging on the walls and in the frames that graced the end tables in the room and the mantle above the fireplace, where he stood. Reese knew the instant Carter had entered the room but he didn't turn to greet her instead his eyes stayed focus on a picture of her and Taylor hugged up together. Taylor looked to be no more than 4 or 5.

"Is Taylor still out of town?" Reese started the conversation asking a question he already knew the answer too.

"Yeah, the holiday break at his school started a couple of days after I sent him down to North Carolina, my Aunt asked if he could stay for the holidays and since he doesn't get to see them much I agreed. He'll be home day after tomorrow." Carter replied.

"How," He began to speak but then thought better of his words and paused to rephrase them. "You love him unconditionally," He finally said as he turned to her while holding the picture in his hand. Carter bunched her brow at him as she reflected on what she thought to be a dumb question.

"Well yeah I'm his mom." She answered.

"Did you always?" Reese asked and she finally began to understand what it was he was really asking her and she took a deep breath and then moved to where he stood at the fireplace.

"No," She answered honestly, as she gazed at another picture on the mantle of Taylor in a white cap and gown at his pre-school graduation. He smiled so proudly and fully displayed his missing teeth. "When I found out that I was pregnant I thought about…" She paused to find her words. "I wanted to die," She said and Reese looked at her and could see in her eyes what she really meant to say. "I was angry and I was scared. I survived all those things that were done to me; I was free of that man who had beaten and raped me repeatedly. Only to be told that I wasn't really free because I carried his child in my womb." Carter paused again as she tried in vain to swallow down impending tears. It had been years since she had allowed these thoughts inside her head. Reese sensed that this was bringing up very painful memories that Carter probably had never resolved and he felt guilty for bringing them to her mind but before he could give his apologies and leave, she spoke again. "No I didn't want Taylor when I found out about him. I hated him for existing just as much as I hated Reggie Johnson for what he did to me." She announced as the tears rolled down her cheek. "I didn't want to have Taylor but I was too scared to get an abortion. For a time I was in total denial about the pregnancy I just figured if I pretended that the baby wasn't real then he wasn't real," She tossed out a humorless laugh at her absurd words. "Then I thought well God will just get rid of the baby, I mean in my mind this was the child of Satan and there was no way God would let it live, and I'd pray every night that I would miscarry him. After about 4 months, I knew I was going to end of carrying him to term but I didn't think I would be capable of loving him. I thought that whenever I'd look at him I'd see his monster of a father and resent him. I knew that wouldn't be right or fair and so I had planned to give him up for adoption. A case worker got involved drew up all the adoption papers, and even found a couple who wanted the baby as soon as he was born."

"What changed?" Reese said as he reached out and wiped at her tears.

"He kicked me, and knocked some sense into me," She said around a genuine smile and Reese found his own smile appearing. "I was about 5 months along and I was lying in bed watching some old black and white movie and 'bam' Taylor kicked me. I'm sure he had probably done it before then but as I said, I was in complete denial. From that, moment on his every movement enthralled me and then it began to comfort me. When I didn't feel him moving I'd get so terrified, and I made a lot of trips to the E.R. just to make sure he was ok, you know?" Reese simply nodded as she continued. "The hospital reported to the case worker about my visits and she came to me one day and brought me all these books about parenting for first time mothers. At first, I protested and said I still didn't want the baby, but then she went on this tangent and told me that it was ok that I loved my baby, and how, many, women kept babies conceived out of rape. She went on for a good hour and a half when honestly with the first sentence out of her mouth she had convinced me to keep Taylor. She had said he was 'my baby' and it was the first time I had heard that, before he had always been termed as 'the baby' or 'the child'. Nevertheless, he was 'mine', 'my baby', that was a revelation, and I have loved him unconditionally from that second on. Now when I look at him I just see 'my' baby."

"You're amazing, you know that?" Reese tossed out and even though his candid words stunned her, she played it off.

"Yeah, but I'm glad you realize it too." She said as she flashed him a bright smile. "So, does this mean you're going to stop avoiding me like I'm carrying some kind of contagion?" Reese smiled but dropped his head shamefully.

"Sorry about that," He offered.

"It's ok I get it I know that people would view me as broken or damaged goods if they ever really knew about how I was attacked, I've been there, done that." She said and Reese raised his head and locked curious eyes to hers.

"I don't," He began wanting to assure her that he still respected her, but Carter quickly cut off his words.

"Good don't…ever…because I've worked damn hard to earn people's respect, even yours John. So you know the whole truth now, and I'm sure you probably also saw the pictures," She threw out and her stomach ached a bit at his silence, because it told her that he had in fact seen the pictures of what had been done to her. "It's ok, I was pretty disgusted when I saw them too, so I get why you may not view me as some beautiful or desirable woman, but please don't view me as weak or broken, and don't ever think that I can't handle myself or my duties as a cop. I'm a damn good cop."

"I know you are. I figured that out when we first met in that interrogation room." Reese stated with a smirk and Carter graced him with a kind smile. "I'm sorry for avoiding you this past week but know that it had nothing to do with me thinking you were damaged goods or weak. After I learned…saw what he did to you," He grew silent for a second because he felt his anger flare up. "All I wanted to do was protect you. I wanted to kill the son-of-a-bitch who had attacked you, and that was my intent, but something else beat me to it. I had…have this need to look out for you,"

"I don't need you to protect me John, I've been doing that long before I knew you." Carter said as she crossed her arms across her chest in a defensive manner and her reaction made Reese take a step closer to her.

"I know you can take care of yourself Jos. I also know that you wouldn't appreciate me repeatedly trying to protect you from every bad person you come across, and that's why I've kept 'some' distance. But you need to understand that I don't feel that I have to protect you because you can't protect yourself, it's," He took a deep breath and actually contemplated just turning and walking out the door, but the needy look in Carter's eyes, a need to understand kept him rooted in his spot. "I've come to realize that I care for you and Taylor, I care 'about' you. You're important to me." He spoke as he looked directly into her shocked eyes. "That's why I will always try to protect you, whether you want me to or not." They stood in silence for a moment before Carter spoke out again.

"Ok John, I get it, I mean I feel the same way…about you too. Ever since you saved my life in that alleyway and then saved Taylor from Elias you've held a special place with me and Taylor, he still asks about you." She smiled and then laughed at his sudden coyness. "So we care….about each other, and that's ok because we're friends, right?"

"That's right," Reese nodded in agreement and finally noticed how close he was to her, so close he could feel her body radiating heat. "I better go, still got a case to work," He lied as he took a step back.

"Ok," Carter responded but didn't move. She simply stood there watching as Reese turned and left out the way he had come, he paused at the entrance to the living room, just before rounding the corner to the foyer.

"And for the record, I find you very beautiful and very desirable Jos," He said as he turned slightly and glanced at her over his shoulder before he disappeared around the corner. Carter stood staring after him with wide eyes until she heard the front door click shut, and then her legs gave out and she crumbled to the hardwood floor. She sat there for nearly a half an hour replaying all that Reese had said to her, as she felt the stirring of 'something' she couldn't quite place.