AN: For Tinkerbella. On a rare day off, Mac goes to the bank to fix an issue with his mortgage. Of course, on this particular day, that particular branch is subjected to an attempted robbery. And of course, our hero has to save the day.

Set in some sort of nebulous more-or-less canon universe where canon moved on in a more predictable fashion without any of the major plot twists after 1.11, Scissors, a little over a year after Scissors actually occurs.

I headcanon that Mac actually owns (or is paying the mortgage, at least) on the house that he and Bozer live in (exactly how he has the money, I don't know- maybe Mac is secretly wealthy because he invented some expensive and/or best-selling gadget or once saved the life of a really rich and very grateful person, or invested really well in stock, or maybe he inherited the money or even the house), and that Bozer's rent (which Mac doesn't really care about and gives him a really good deal on) is put towards the mortgage. This would probably explain why Mac is not worried about Bozer's rent, why Bozer, who was a burger-flipper, can afford to live in a very nice house in LA, and why everyone seems to call it Mac's house, as opposed to Mac and Bozer's house.

MACGYVER'S BANK

LA

Mac shook his head as he walked towards the doors of the bank. There'd been some sort of problem with his mortgage payments, so he'd had to come into the bank on a rare day off to sort it out.

One day you're saving the world, next day you're dealing with a bank bureaucrat about your mortgage.

Welcome to the glamorous life of an international super-spy.

Unfortunately, just as Mac had almost reached the door, two men clad in black, Friday the 13th-style hockey masks covering their faces, each waving a Glock, strode into the bank.

'All of you, get down!'

'Sit on the floor, eyes on the ground!'

'Now!'

One of the men fired a warning shot into the ceiling. Plaster dust rained down.

The terrified bank customers and employees complied hastily.

Near the entrance, partially concealed behind a large pot plant, Mac complied too, not wanting to draw attention to himself.

His brain was already ticking into overdrive.

Now, they might be armed, but they don't really know how to use those Glocks properly.

They definitely can't shoot even a tenth as well as Jack.

I might not use guns, but I do know how to tell if someone knows what they're doing.

And these guys definitely don't.

And those hockey masks?

Good for scaring people, good for concealing your identity, but definitely not very protective.

A good hit in the right spot will knock them out of place and restrict their sight.

And it'd hurt.

Mac pulled out his belt and rolled up the thick magazine-like brochure that the bank employee had insisted he take.

Jack's going to start rambling about me being some sort of trouble magnet again.

And Bozer's going to swear that he's never going to let me go anywhere alone again.

And Riley's going to agree with them, mostly.

And Thornton's going to be pissed.

But what am I supposed to do?

Let them get away?

Let them hurt any of these innocent people?

MACGYVER'S HOSPITAL ROOM

GOOD SAMARITAN HOSPITAL

LA

The petite, young, female doctor shone a light into his eyes, carefully examining the reaction of his pupils.

'What's your name?'

'Angus MacGyver.'

'Age?'

'Twenty-five.'

'Today's date?'

'January 25th, 2018.'

'Do you know where you are?'

Mac rolled his eyes, thoroughly sick of the questions. He was not concussed, as he'd told the doctor. Repeatedly. He was fine. Mostly. He'd stopped throwing up at least fifteen minutes ago.

Dr Taylor simply cocked an eyebrow back at him, waiting for his response.

He sighed.

'Good Samaritan Hospital in LA.'

She nodded, satisfied, and straightened up.

'Well, you don't have a concussion.'

'Can I go home now, then?'

She narrowed her eyes at him.

'No, Mr MacGyver. You don't have a concussion, but you did take a knock to the head, and you have bruised ribs, minor bruising to one of your kidneys, and too many other contusions to count, including what is going to be a very impressive shiner. Given your earlier nausea and kidney injury, you have to stay on an IV.'

Mac sighed. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to manage to escape this time.

'Mr MacGyver is my dad.'

There was silence for a moment as Dr Taylor focused on updating his chart. When she was finished, she looked up and gave him a small smile.

'Would you prefer Angus?'

He made a face.

'Call me Mac. Please.'

Her smile widened a little in amusement at his expression, and she nodded and made a quick note on his chart. Then, she indicated his phone, wallet and Swiss Army knife, which were lying on a little shelf right beside the head of his bed.

'Alright, Mac. Is there anyone you'd like to call, to let them know where you are and that you're okay, relatively speaking?'

He nodded.

'I'll give you a moment to do that, then.' She started towards the door, and then turned back to him. 'And nothing else. Attempt anything else, and I'll have no choice but to sedate you, which I'm sure you won't like. You are clearly a terrible patient. Press the call button when you're done.'

She walked out the door.

With a sigh, Mac reached out, fingered his Swiss Army knife for a moment, decided against it, and picked up his phone and dialled Jack.

'Hey, brother. How'd it go at the bank? All fixed?'

'Yeah, it was just an error in one of their systems. All fixed, now.'

Mac could practically see the look on Jack's face in response to his false-casual tone. (He wasn't going to hide something like this from Jack, not when they weren't in the field, but he didn't exactly want to come right out and say it either…)

'Mac…'

He sighed.

Like ripping off a Band-Aid.

'As I was leaving, these two guys might have attempted to rob the bank, and I might have stopped them, and now I might be in hospital…'

Mac gave Jack a fairly abridged version of the events.

'I'm telling you, brother, you give off zeta rays or something and draw trouble to you like a magnet.'

The blonde rolled his eyes.

'There is no such thing as zeta rays, Jack.'

'That anyone knows of.'

Mac just shook his head. He was pretty sure that Jack did this half the time to wind him up on purpose; the older man wasn't stupid by any stretch of the word, even if he couldn't recall the difference between Nosferatu and Nostradamus.

'You know, Patty's going to be pissed.' Mac snorted in response. 'I'll bet you ten bucks that I'm going to have about six missed calls from her when you hang up.'

'No bet, old man. I'm not going to just give you my money.'

'Eh, it was worth a shot. Call me when you find out when you're getting discharged, alright? And be good for the doctors and nurses! Especially the pretty lady ones!'

Mac rolled his eyes again (why his friends refused to stay out of his non-existent love life, he didn't know), said his goodbyes to Jack, and hung up.

He pulled up Bozer's number from his contacts list.

'Bro, I am seriously never letting you go anywhere alone again! You go off to the bank to sort out the mortgage, and end up single-handedly stopping a bank robbery – good job, bro – and get yourself put in the hospital!'

Mac flinched slightly at the loudness of his best friend's voice. Bozer had started yelling at him the moment he'd picked up; evidently, he'd been informed about his rather eventful trip to the bank, likely by Thornton (she was the best spy in the business, of course she'd found out what had happened).

'And seriously, bro, you've got terrible timing! Riley and I were in the middle of something, and she's just had to rush off to work to help clean up your mess! Seriously, bro, we were just getting to that epic Kaiju-Jaeger fight in Hong Kong Harbour!'

'We can all re-watch Pacific Rim tonight, Bozer.'

'Pretty sure you're not going to be discharged until tomorrow, at least, bro.' Bozer was quiet for a moment, and Mac could practically see the smirk growing on his best friend's face when he responded. 'Hey, look on the bright side! Gives you more time to pull the moves on a pretty nurse! Or a doctor, of course. Maybe you'll get a number before you get out of there!'

Mac groaned.

Right then and there, he resolved that, when his friends inevitably interrogated him about everyone he'd interacted with while in hospital, attempting to discern if he'd met anyone interesting, he was never going to reveal the fact that Dr Taylor was both about his age and also rather beautiful, even in scrubs.

God knows what his friends would make of that.

Mountains out of molehills, or really non-existent hills, indeed.

Mac, his phone conversation with Bozer finished, put down his phone and pressed the call button. A minute or so later, Dr Taylor re-entered his room.

'All done?'

He nodded.

She walked over and picked up his chart and made a couple of notes.

'You're staying overnight for observation and treatment, but you'll be discharged in the morning.'

'I'm fine, mostly, I can go home tonight-'

The little doctor narrowed her eyes at him.

'You know, even if you had a medical degree, which you don't, you wouldn't be allowed to make calls like this on your own health.' Her expression softened. 'You're not going to be here for much longer, just another eighteen hours or so. Hopefully you'll be able to sleep a good chunk of that time away. The more you rest and look after yourself and generally be a good patient, the sooner you'll get better.' He gave her a wan smile in response. 'You'll have to take at least the next week or so fairly easy. Where do you work?'

'At a think-tank.'

She nodded.

'Shouldn't be too difficult to take it easy, physically, then.' Her brow furrowed. 'Wait. You work at a think-tank and you single-handedly stopped two armed bank robbers? Using, apparently, according to the police who brought you here, your belt and a bank brochure?'

Thornton's already pissed, I can't give her another reason to be mad…namely, a doctor figuring out that my cover's just a cover…

He shrugged and gave a small smirk.

'And a couple of other odds and ends. I'm ex-Army, and I did win twelve science fairs.'

Dr Taylor mulled it over for a couple of seconds, and seemingly bought it. Mac gave an internal sigh of relief. She replaced his chart and gave him a smile as she walked to the door.

'Impressive. I only ever managed nine.'

Yeah, definitely never telling Jack and Bozer and Riley that either. No matter what.

The next day, Mac made his way out into the entrance hall of the hospital, accompanied by a pretty, young, female nurse who'd been fussing over him (unnecessarily) since shift change and had insisted on accompanying him out to his friends, lest he attempt to escape or do something else to compromise his recovery (also unnecessarily, and not good on the teasing front). Apparently, Dr Taylor had left a note on his chart saying that he was a terrible patient, according to a chuckling Dr Garcia, the middle-aged, male hospitalist who'd checked over him before discharge.

Jack, Bozer and Riley (who looked rather sleepy and was holding a large takeaway cup of coffee in her hands) were waiting for him.

'Glad to be free, brother?'

'Very glad, Jack.'

'I reckon he's right, bro. You're a trouble magnet.'

Mac glanced over at Riley, hoping to find an ally in the other more scientifically-inclined mind on the team. The hacker shook her head, raising an eyebrow and giving him a look.

'They're not wrong, Mac.'

The blonde just shook his head and kept walking towards the exit, his friends trailing behind him.

None of them missed the rather disappointed look on the pretty nurse's face.

All three exchanged rather exasperated looks behind Mac's back.

Well, at least they could tease and interrogate him about the nurse later.

MACGYVER'S RESIDENCE

LA

Thornton, also nursing a large cup of coffee, like Riley, was waiting for them.

More specifically, she was waiting for Mac, and she caught him with a deadly stare as soon as he entered the living room.

'You go to the bank to fix a problem with your mortgage and end up stopping a bank robbery single-handedly, get hospitalised, and nearly find yourself splashed all over the national news. Do you have any idea how difficult it was to keep your cover intact?' She took a step closer to him. 'You are an agent for a highly clandestine organization, MacGyver.' She took another half-step forwards. 'And you are honestly more troublesome than all of my other agents. Combined.'

Jack looked mildly put-out at that.

Mac pulled a paperclip from his pocket and started playing with it. He looked his boss square in the eye as he did so.

'I'm sorry for the hassle, boss, but…I did what I had to do.'

Her expression softened and she shook her head at him with a small smile.

'Off the record, none of us would have just sat there and done nothing, me included.' She reached out and clasped his shoulder for a moment. 'Good work, Mac.'

He returned her smile, and there was silence for a few seconds. Then, her expression turned firmer again.

'No fieldwork for the next week, and you are taking the next two days off to recover, non-negotiable.'

Mac sighed.

'Yes, boss.'

'And you are not to leave the house in those two days. You need to rest.' A wry look fluttered across her face. 'And trouble seems to find you far too easily.'

With a wry grin, Mac nodded, and there was another comfortable silence, which was broken by his roommate.

'Now that the little family bonding moment's over, who wants waffles?'

They all turned to stare at Bozer, who was grinning broadly.

Riley rolled her eyes fondly, while Jack and Mac simply exchanged a grin and a shake of their heads. Thornton raised an eyebrow elegantly.

Riley indicated her boyfriend to her boss with a tilt of her head.

'He does make the best waffles.'

Thornton took another sip of her coffee, and then her smile widened slightly.

'Coffee alone does not make a good breakfast.'

AN: I tried to balance oblivious!Mac with Mac-who-is-clearly-not-entirely-hopeless-with-women, as well as by-the-book!Thornton with Thornton-who-clearly-cares-for-her-team-and-actually-gives-them-lots-of-freedom. I hope I succeeded! Tinkerbella, I think this was probably less whumpy than you wanted, but I hope you liked it!

If you have a prompt/request you'd like me to write (fair warning, it'll probably end up at least somewhat AU like this one, since I seem incapable of writing strictly canon-compliant), just leave it in the comments/in a review!