Well, two reviews was enough for me. =D Thanks Thingy Person and Coonamatatah! ;D

This story takes off the day after the massive cliffhanger (lol) of Chapter 1.
You should be able to find some recurring jokes about characters by now =)
Valtome is a homosexual pedophile
Ilyana can't stop eating
Calill is that girl that can't quite see how far the line is

I love to parody and I love to make fun of things. It's absolutely understandable if you don't get
the jokes, because the range is limitless.

It would be great if you could review as well, good review or bad review, they're both good.
But flames are the wrath of people depraved of attention.

So have fun with it =D

Previously on Fire Emblem High

Nephenee is in a guillotine.

Aran jumps in front of a bus.

Meg bowls everyone over.

Haar closed his locker, but was greeted by Jill.
"I'm pregnant!" she whispers fiercely.
"What??" he whispers back.

Jill walked into the classroom, and found Haar crying and sucking his thumb.

"Haar… what's wrong?"

"Everything! I can't believe this happened…" he wept.

"Haar… is it about us?" she whispered, sincerely.

"Mm-hmm-mm…" he whispered back shakily.

"Look, it was a mistake. We just have to be more careful next time we … you know." Jill soothed. "It was an accident. You didn't mean for this to happen. But now we have to live with it forever."

"Tell me about it… that's the last time I let you carry my sandwich!" Haar replied angrily.

Jill groaned.

Calill and Elincia were walking to school.

"So, how's Ike?" asked Calill.

"He's ignoring me lately since I ruined his good time.." She replied.

Ike and Elincia are together on a bed, in their underwear. Elincia slowly begins to unstrap her bra…
"OI, IKE!"
"Hey, look it's Stefan!" Ike suddenly piped up, shoving Elincia violently off the bed and scrambling to the window. "STEFAN!!!" He beckoned to Stefan.

Elincia climbed back up and went to the window also. "Piss of, we're having sex!!" she cried and slammed the window shut..

A sly smile crossed Stefan's face. "Really…" he grinned in a creepy manner.

"Sounds… creepy." Calill said with a raised eyebrow.

"That's the last time we're having intimate moments and letting Stefan know about it…" shuddered Elincia.

"Argh! I can't believe this!" shouted Principal Sephiran.

"Trust me, sir, there have been weirder things to happen in this school." Vice Principal Lekain replied.

"Well, Ilyana, your tests results say that you are malnourished." Said the school nurse.

"Looks like I have to expel a student to keep our budget." Sephiran said, unhappily.

"Who do you choose?" Vice Principal Lekain asked.

"I'll find one today." He replied evilly.

DUN DUN DUN


"Uwee hee hee…" Valtome chortled. "It's time to take out your books and pencils… Uwee hee hee…"
"Excuse me sir…" Rolf asked timidly. "I left my book at home…"

Mist already felt sorry for Rolf.
"Uwee hee hee… stay here before going home Mr. Rolf." Valtome said smoothly. "I must … Uwee hee … punish you …"

Zihark and Titania looked at each other in pure disgust.

"He is one horny old man…" whispered Titania.

"Ever since he was left out on Valentine's Day…" agreed Zihark.

Valtome walked down the corridor, obviously depressed. All the valentine's cards he got were from people over 17 years old. He opened the door to his classroom…
There was Nephenee and Aran making contact with their mouths.

He sighed, shut the door and opened the door to another classroom.

Alas, Zihark and Ilyana, lying on the tables, making out something huge.

He sighed again, and tried to go into another classroom.

However, this time he found Soren and Leonardo. They seemed to be passionately kissing. Valtome continued to watch... Oh :o ... OH! =O!
OHHHHHHHHHHHH =D ..... Ohhhhhhhhh? O.o
He gawked until a chair was thrown at him.

He shut the door and hurried to the fourth classroom.

Oh God… now it was Mia and Geoffrey! … and… who is that hiding in the corner? Hmmm…better leave now.

He looked in a supply closet… Oh man, even Sephiran was getting lucky!
Valtome held in his urge to have a loneliness meltdown, when he saw a bunch of clothes fly out of the fifth classroom.

Valtome ran home crying.

Boyd threw the ol' famous paper airplane at Valtome. Valtome swiftly turn around and started yelling.

"That's it, you rebellious hunk! Down to Vice Principal Lekain at once!"

Boyd gulped.

"This oughtta be good…" whispered Micaiah.

Boyd was blindfolded and handcuffed at the firing range. "FIRE!" shouted Lekain.

"Ancient language blah-blah?" asked Leanne, the foreign exchange student.

Oscar had no freaking idea what she had just asked.

"Uhhh….WHAT?" he asked, trying to sound big and tough and cool.

"Ancient language blah-blah!" Leanne then said.

It was obvious to Oscar he was being picked on.

"Well, excuse me Mrs. Foreign Slut, speak New Language!" Oscar said, thrilled that he said a dirty word and had gotten away with it.

"Ancient language blah-blah" Leanne sniggered.

"Well…you're a…" he looked around to see if nobody was within hearing distance. "Bitch!"
"Ancient language blah-blah?" Leanne asked, slyly.

"Umm…what?" Oscar didn't know what to answer.

"Ancient language blah-blah?" she repeated, grinning.

"Er… yes." Oscar replied with fake attitude.

Leanne made a disgusted face then burst out laughing and walked away, shaking her head.

Reyson sniggered. "Even my little sister is cooler than you!" he laughed.

"But Mordecai... I'm BORED!!!" whinged Lethe in the cafeteria.

"How can anyone be bored when we've got lunch entertainment?" asked Nephenee.

Ilyana slowly stuffs a Foot-long sandwich in her mouth.

"I'm not talking to you, country bitch!" Lethe retorted.

"How about a healthy dose of shut up" shouted Lyre, her twin sister.

Lethe gasped, and pimp-slapped her sister. "You skanky little slut!" she shouted.

"You're a bitch!" yelled Lyre.
"A tart!" added Brom.
"A ho!" added Nephenee.
"A slew!" added Ike.
"A complete bimbo!" added Calill, 'accidently' dropping honey on her cleavage.
"A cow!" added Makalov.
"A cat!" added Ranulf.
"A whore!" added Rafiel.
"Mnnm mnnmmn!" added Ilyana, her mouth full.
"A jerk!" added Mia.
"A FEMALE!" added Valtome.
"And a whining douche." finished Sephiran simply, writing Lethe on his 'Possible expel' list.

Lethe gasped in shock.
"I'm not THAT bad!" she retorted.

"Please, you're the new Clarine." Geoffrey replied. "Thank God she left 6 years ago."

"I'm not that bad!" she insisted.

"Really?" asked Mordecai.

"I'm bored!" Lethe bitched.
"Then find something to do!" Tormod replied.
"But that's boring!" Lethe whined.
"Shut up!" Tormod said.
Lethe narrowed her eyes.
She drank an entire bottle of Spirit, struck a match and started to breathe flames.
Tormod escaped with burns covering 79% of his body, and never played sport again.

"ZIHARK BABY!!!!!!" called out a certain fat orange girl.
"Oh God it's her!" Zihark began crying like a little boy who starred in a movie with Valtome.

"Now now, little boy..." cooed Valtome as he neared Brawley Nolte.
"It's not Ransom without some sort of ... twist. Uwee hee hee hee!!!"

Ilyana and Zihark ducked into a supply closet. Meg went charging past.
"Wow, that was close. Not as bad as last time."

Zihark is on a plane with Ilyana. Suddenly, a fat orange girl in lingerie hijacks the plane.
"Ohhhh Zihark! What a coincidence to be hijacking the same plane you are on!" Meg grinned.
She placed a leg on the arm-rest of the seat. Ilyana and Zihark were silent in shock.

"WHAT?!?" shouted Sephiran as he opened the closet door. Ilyana and Zihark cringed.

"Sexual relations in the school during school hours?!?" he roared. "WITHOUT MY PERMISSION???" he added.
"You two are going on my possible expulsion list!" he said, and slammed the door closed.

Ilyana and Zihark grinned to each other, before locking the door.

"Got my lunch money?" grinned Shinon, pushing Sothe to the ground.
"But... lunch is over..." groaned Sothe.

Sephiran walked over in a rage.

"YOU!" he shouted, pointing at them. Shinon stopped dead in his tracks.

Sephiran was clearly pissed off. "In my fourteen hours of being a principal I have NEVER seen such
ignorance, inconsideration and meanness displayed by a student!" he yelled.

"Oh, my lovely lovelies, I am honestly very apologetic for my slight temper this morning," giggled Oliver.
"I had a lack of beauty sleep whilst polishing my head, and therefore am slightly cranky."

Tauroneo started to speak. "Excuse me Sir... I..."

Oliver turned around with a rifle.

Sephiran was STILL ranting. "My dream was to have a school populated by friendly students who could co-operate together.
But I find you right here, destroying it for me."

He took a deep breath.
"There's no excuse, young man. I have to expel you."

Shinon and Sothe looked completely shocked.

"Get out. Never come back. Trust me Sothe, you won't be ruining any more flower patches here anymore. Oh, hi Shinon."

"Okay, Heather, I guess I will see you soon." Lesbian Laura hung up.

She travelled on home, but when she opened the door, she got a surprise.

Heather and Reyson broke their kiss and looked up.
"Laura!" choked Heather.
"...You-you're cheating on me!" cried Laura.

TO BE CONTINUED

Okay, this is too fun. I'm gonna update next chapter when I get a chance =)
Put in that Lethe part just for you, Coonamatatah.
Please review =)