One day when Pugsey was being unusually kind and allowed me into his bedroom to pick up all the broken toys and dispose of them as I wished. He decided to get his pet stick insect down from the top self and set its cage in the middle of the room. He proceeded to kick me. I got angry and the stick insect simply exploded. I got sent to my drawer for this serious lack of good manners, not that I had been taught any anyway. The punishment built up over the course of several days. The first day I was forced to stand the entire day. The next I wasn't allowed in the house. The torture was unbearable as the days continued. Eventually they appeared to be letting up, and they finally let me have a strip of bacon. A rarity for me. I mean I get all the toast a boy could ever ask for but bacon is god's idea of heaven on earth.
One day a curious thing happened, I mean curious because a swallow is not an animal that is friendly enough to come into ones home, let alone drawer. This particular swallow was just like any other until it dropped a note onto Mr Snufflebump. Yes I still have Mr Snufflebump; he was my toy and only mine. The note read:
Dear poor and skinny Mr Blotter,
We are writing to inform you that you are now to attend Pigwarts School of wizards. Please find enclosed
all the correct clothes and equipment and a bus will come for you on the 5th September. Please enjoy
the remainder of your holidays.
Professor Dorbin