Never Let Me Go: Chapter Two
Why was Chuck ignoring Blair? He didn't exactly know. He wanted to wallow today, but not alone. Actually it would have been much better had Blair stayed last night, instead of going home. But he insisted she leave last night, knowing today would be one of those days. And Chuck hated for Blair to see him in the state he was. Yet she insisted on coming up, seeing him drunk, and setting him off.
"I guess I will just let you calm down," Blair said after Chuck exploded.
Chuck had instantly wanted to wrap her in his arms and apologize, she was only trying to help and Chuck knew that. But there was some voice in the back of Chuck's head that urged him to let her walk out of the suite, let her walk away. Was it not obvious to her that he wanted to be alone; he had ignored her texts and calls.
"Don't," Chuck said.
Blair had just begun to walk out when he said that. He reached out towards her, and she immediately reached back. Always there for him, Chuck smiled at her.
"I'm sorry," Chuck said, "let's go to lunch later?"
Blair nodded, a smile forming on her face. That strand of hair that had fallen earlier fell again, offering Chuck the chance to be gentle again. He gratefully took the chance, pushing the strand back behind her ear again and leaning in to kiss her cheek.
Chuck watched as Blair walked out, he felt much better, lighter really. He sat back down on the couch and began to fix his loose tie. It's when he heard that voice again. The voice mimicked something that only Bart would say, and Chuck couldn't ignore it.
You're weak son, continued to repeat inside of Chuck's head. The words were unshakable.
Chuck didn't believe he was weak. He felt stronger than ever most times. Especially with Blair. Once he had finally told Blair that he loved her, he felt like nothing could bring him down, and he was reminded everyday of that. Every day with Blair was like a reward for finally letting down his walls. It was like he had earned this amazing prize that continued to get better.
Some mornings Chuck would wake up with a petite body lying next to him. He could hold her, kiss her shoulder, and whisper that he loved her. Blair was his. That was always the prize. Knowing Blair was his to hold, touch, kiss; it made everything he did more meaningful. Blair would smile when she saw him across a room, she would grab his hand spontaneously when a pretty girl walked by, she would send him flirty and dirty text messages during her Intro into Phycology class because she was bored. And Chuck loved every single bit of being in the relationship with her.
Often times Chuck would find himself wandering into Tiffany's or Cartier to buy Blair some new piece of jewelry just because he knew it would make her smile. And the previous Wednesday, on his way to the Empire, he was compelled by some force, to visit Harry Winston. Chuck wouldn't just get any piece of jewelry from Harry Winston, and anyone who knew him and saw him go into that shop would have known. Thank God no one had snapped a photo and sent that into Gossip Girl. Chuck Bass possibly shopping for an engagement ring. And again that voice spoke in his mind:
You're growing weak Charles.
Was Chuck becoming weak? Was his relationship with Blair affecting him that much? He never felt that it was, but that was because his relationship with her consumed him. He did everything for her, not just in the sense of buying her gifts and wanting to make her smile. Chuck had bought the Empire to lock down his finances for the rest of his life, and looking into the future was something Chuck Bass never did. Well pre-Blair he didn't. Now though, he wanted to create a life with her. He wanted to own the Empire and create a new Bass legacy to pass on to his children. Yes, Chuck was even thinking about children.
Maybe he was growing weak. He had lost his devil-may-care attitude. But was that a bad thing?
Yes Charles, being ruthless gets the jobs done.