This fic takes place in the present time everything is as is on the show.

Disclamier: Yeah I own Castle! Not! If I did I'd be hanging out with Stana and Nathan and there would be a Castle baby on the way! I do own all 5 seasons of Castle on DVD, 4 Nikki Heat books a Castle calendar and a Castle t-shirt!

Summery Just as Kate is at her happiest a threat from the past resurfaces

Chapter 2: Nightmares

Kate laid in bed with Castle's arms around her. She kept thinking about her run in with Josh she fought so hard to forget him, to forget what he did to her. She had forgotten until today. She wasn't going to let him win this time. She was finally happy, she had Castle and they were going to have a baby. She'd been scared of telling him because it wasn't planned her voice trembled and tears filled her hazel eyes when she slowly pulled out the picture of their little bean. All the fear she had about the baby disappeared when he hugged her tight telling her how happy he was and how much he loved her. He rubbed her flat stomach placing a gentle kiss on it and whispered "daddy loves you little bean" she'd never felt as loved as she did at that moment. Now hours later they laid together in the darkness of their room his arm around her and his hand resting on her stomach. She placed her hand on his closing her eyes letting sleep come to her.

Nightmares soon invaded her sleep she moved and whimpered a little but the gentle caress of Castle's hand on her arm relaxed her briefly they both fell back into a slumber. Kate didn't sleep long when another nightmare accrued Josh walked towards her an evil grin o his face "I told you I'd be back" he reached for her. "No!" Kate shouted "I'm with Castle he's my one and done" Josh laughed "Oh really then where is writer boy" he asked moving closer to her grabbing her "He doesn't want you Kate you're broken and your beauty is flawed" he touched the scar at her breasts roughly. She tried to pull away he yanked her arm to him "Now you remember what happens when you don't listen don't you"

Kate sat up breathing heavily tears running down her face. She glanced at Castle lying beside her sound asleep. She gently moved from out of his arms running into the bathroom. She switched on the light and closed the door. She stood in the mirror looking at her reflection. She pulls down the t shirt she was wearing to look at the scar above her breasts she ran her finger over it. She turned to look at the scar on her side running her finger over the length of it. She was flawed physically and emotionally how could Castle love her. She suddenly felt ill she kneeled down at the toilet vomiting her small body shook from the heaving and her sobs.

Castle woke up when he heard Kate getting sick. He pulled back the covers and got out of bed he walked to the bathroom "Kate" he slowly opened the door. He saw her curled around the toilet sobbing "Kate" he said her name again kneeling down with her "What is it" he asked
"What's wrong" he tried to touch her but she pushed him away.

"I...I'm broken Castle" she sobbed "I'm physically and emotionally flawed I...I'm no good" she sobbed harder

Castle didn't know if this was the start of her hormones or something else bothering her "Kate you're not broken and you're not flawed those scars are a sign of how strong you are, that you're a survivor" his voice was soft "and we all have emotional scars hell you've met my ex wives" he joked trying to cheer her up

"Cas…Castle how can you love me" she asked

He gently lifted her face so she was looking into his blue eyes "How could I not" he asked "You're beautiful, you're smart, you're strong and when you care about someone you love them with your whole heart" he gently brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb "I've been crazy about you since day one" he smiled

"But there's things you don't know about me Castle, things that would make you look at me differently, things that could change the way you feel about me" she whispered

"Kate there is nothing you could tell me that change the way I feel about you, I love you , always" he promised

Kate looked at him. "I…I can't "she cried doing what she did best she ran. She ran through the bedroom, through his office and toward the front door but something made her stop it was love. If she ran it would hurt the one person she loved most, the one person who'd been there for her the most in the last 5 and a half years. She took a deep breath and turned around she was startled by him standing in the doorway of his office just watching her.

This time Kate ran back right into his arms "I'm sorry Rick" she cried "I'm so sorry"

Castle knew this was serious she only used his first name when she as scared, upset and sometimes angry "Its okay" he whispered holding her tight letting her cry. When he felt her starting to calm down he led her to the couch turning on the side lamp as he sat down with her in his arms " Kate" he started softly "What has you so upset that you think it would change the way I feel about you" he asked gently

"I…I can't I..I don't" she rambled nervously

Castle laced her fingers with his "You can tell me anything and it wouldn't matter what it is I will still love you" he promised "You could have murdered someone and I wouldn't care" he said "you could have cheated on my I wouldn't, well I'd care but I'd still love you"

"I didn't murder anyone Castle and I'd never cheat on you" she told him "But this is petty bad" she looked down at her lap

He gently lifted her chin and looked into her eyes "Tell me Kate, let me help you" he pleaded

"O…Okay" she whispered "Rick.." she started

Chapter 3: A Secret Told..Kate tells Castle her secret..Coming soon!