The way things are looking, Raven and Nero is never going to happen. The ONE SINGLE SHRED OF PROOF in Nero's love life is horribly vague, and it actually makes it look like N/R is done for before it even happened. All you guys who have read Aftershock, when I say 'Page 257, last line', I think you know what I'm agonizing over.
Maybe Mark never INTENDED them to be together, and he threw in That Line to torture us before ending N/R. But I have faith. True love and the Awesomeness Ship shall prevail.
Disclaimer: Yes, I DO own HIVE. What? We're the villains of the future. We're SUPPOSED to lie.
Raven was having a particularly bad day, and that was before a certain albino genius had announced to the entire school that her employer was apparently her love interest.
When she got her hands on Malpense…
Flashback to see what got Raven so furious…Although you probably have a good idea…
The Big Day came a week after their discussion. Wing and Shelby were engaged in a quiet but heated argument over who got a better grade in the previous day's Stealth and Evasion exercise, while Laura had her nose buried in a book. She would randomly stab at something in her plate without looking up from the pages of the text. Then the unfortunate piece of food would remain suspended in the air for a good few minutes before she would register somewhere at the back of her mind that she has to eat it. Then it was another five minutes before the food actually reached her mouth, and some ten more before she chewed and swallowed it.
This was the reason why Shelby often told Laura that if she regularly brought a book to the cafeteria, she'd wake up one day, find herself hospitalized due to complete lack of any nutrition, be called an anorexic, while the redhead would be wondering what the heck just happened.
Well, Shelby might have had a point.
At any rate, they were in the cafeteria when Otto put his plan into action.
I knew it: everything was going to be absolutely perfect.
Feedback (so shrill and piercing that it actually managed to tear Laura away from her book) filled the ears of all those at HIVE.
I hastily whacked the microphone, and the shrill screeching reduced.
Ok fine, maybe not absolutely perfect…
"Ow," Shelby moaned, massaging her ears. "No, seriously. Ow."
"What she said," Laura said with a pained expression.
"If this was Otto's idea of revenge…well, I expected more class from him," Wing said, looking thoroughly fed up.
There was a sound as if someone was tapping a microphone. "Is this thing on?" Otto's magnified voice boomed around HIVE.
"It is being the attack of the brain-sucking disembodying Otto-voices!" Franz shrieked at the top of his lungs, diving (with some difficulty) under the nearest table.
Shelby looked at Franz's large bottom quivering from underneath their table. "If he's stuck, you two can pull him out," she said bluntly. "Franz! It's not brain-sucking disembodied Otto-voices. It's Malpense hijacking the PA System."
"Ah," Franz emerged, red faced. "Yes, I was knowing that."
The blonde facepalmed, and Nigel slid into the bench next to her. "Otto's hijacking the PA System?"
Before Shelby could reply, Otto had resumed.
"Greetings, my fellow villains." (Shelby pretended to gag) "It's probably a beautiful day when the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and we don't give a damn because we're holed up inside an active volcano. Makes you wonder, doesn't it, about the standards of living today? ("He has a point, you know," Shelby muttered.)
"In case you didn't know, my name is Otto Malpense. I'm the white haired Alpha genius who's almost single handedly responsible for most of the chaos HIVE has seen in the past few years. You must have heard of me. Either that, or you're living under a rock, or you're as stupid and ignorant as a Henchman." ("Modest? Not," the blonde sighed.)
Raven was in one of the numerous training rooms in HIVE, practicing and perfecting a series of lightning fast strikes. Her mind was singularly focused, and she was more than just a little annoyed when this focus was disrupted by the annoying beep of her blackbox.
She exhaled heavily. The reason she insisted on having this room soundproofed was so that there were no distractions. Briefly, she considered slicing the conveniently unsheathed katana through the offending device, but decided against it. The only one who would dare to interrupt her training would be…
"Dr Nero," she greeted him as she accepted the video connection. Her experienced eye noticed that Max almost seemed to be…nervous?
The alarm bells really began ringing when he said quickly, "Natalya, I'm afraid we have a horrible situation. Come to my office, immediately."
"On my way," she said, already heading towards the door. She flew through the various hidden shortcut routes in HIVE, her mind preoccupied with what the situation could be.
Giant mutated plant monsters?
Ninja assassin robots?
"Malpense has managed to hijack the Public Address System," Nero informer her gravely as she entered his office.
What?
"I've asked HIVEmind to locate his blackbox…while it's still active, implying that he has it with him, the tracker has been disabled, and Malpense has to be stopped before he can say anything…disagreeable."
Come again?
"Apparently, we're going to have to search for him manually, and while I know someone of your caliber is not generally engaged in a glorified game of hide and seek, HIVE is unbelievably large, and you'll probably be able to find him the fastest…"
"Just a moment," Raven managed to choke out, her voice coming out strangled. "What do you mean, hijacked?"
Nero paused. Then he got up from behind his desk, walked over to her, and, putting an arm around her shoulders, gently steered the stunned assassin through his office door and propelled her into the corridor.
Raven's eyes glazed over and her mouth fell open oh-so-slightly as she registered the words as well as the voice booming throughout HIVE…
"In case there are any Henchmen out there whose pea-sized brains haven't yet processed what is happening…I have hijacked the HIVE PA System. Only for a short while, though…I'm sure having me temporarily in charge of the Public Address System will be incentive enough for the authority at HIVE to find me fast-ish. At any rate, I intend to make the best of the few minutes I have…"
"Otto must be enjoying this," Shelby said, her wide grin suggesting that she, too, was having more than just a little fun. "Attention, a platform to address the next generation of future villains and about 800 people hanging on to his every word…What more does he need? It would probably almost make up for what Nero's going to do to him later." Almost, she added internally.
"A few things I'd like to mention while I-" suddenly, Otto was interrupted by a rapid beeping.
"OH MY GOD! MY NUKE'S GOING TO EXPLODE PREMATURELY!" he screamed hysterically. This time, Franz wasn't the only one to dive for cover under the table. After a few moments, when nothing happened, Shelby cautiously popped out from under the table.
"What the hell?" Otto could be heard muttering as a few things were tossed around-not too gently either, by the sound of it.
Shelby said a 'Very Bad Word'. Laura's eyes widened and Wing, who was relatively uncorrupted despite the graffiti on the walls of Grappler Cavern 6 (1), looked at her in shock.
"Ah!" Otto's triumphant voice rang out. "Sorry, false alarm, no need to panic…it's just my blackbox."
Wing looked at the murderous expression on Shelby's face and slowly leaned away from her. Ok, so there wasn't a nuclear bomb exploding, but right now the furious expression of the blonde suggested that she was going to do something just marginally less destructive…
I flicked open my Blackbox, surprised at what was flashing on the screen: INCOMING CALL.
I hit a button, and tentatively said, "Hello?"
"Is-it-true-that-you-almost-managed-to-escape-fro-"
"Whoa! Slow down! Who the heck are you?"
"Cassie, from SciTech. Is it true that you almost managed to escape from HIVE in your first year?"
I swelled with pride. "Definitely."
"Is it also true that you're gay for Wing?"
Ok, that I hadn't seen coming.
"Is it also true that you're gay for Wing?"
In the cafeteria, for the first time in his entire life, Wing actually choked on air, while Shelby looked aghast, all plans of torture momentarily erased. Then she began scanning the crowd-Cassie from SciTech would pay.
Otto seemed equally flustered. "No!"
"Are you sure? Because no one's judging you, it's okay if-"
"NO!" And then he cut the connection. But almost immediately the electronic beeping began again.
"Will you marry me?" a girl trilled in a starstruck way. Otto let his head fall on the desk-not too softly either, by the sound of the BANG which followed-and cut the link without bothering to answer.
Somewhere in the cafeteria, the dreams of a fangirl were shattered.
The beeping started up again. "What?" he snapped.
"Is Doctor Nero an android robot?" a boy asked eagerly.
"I-who?"
"I said, is Doctor Nero an android robot?"
"To the best of my knowledge…no."
"He's not?" the boy asked in disappointment, while someone behind him said, "Cough up, you lost the bet," before grabbing the device and asking, "Is he a vampire?"
"Where is all this coming from?" Otto asked in amusement.
"He doesn't age. You think we don't talk?'
"Yes, but…vampires?"
"This is the HIVE rumour mill we're talking about…"
"Point taken. No, I don't think he's a vampire either."
A collective sigh rose from the room and Otto terminated the link and picked up the next call.
"You are being very daring, doing this hijacking, ja?" a heavily accented voice asked. "What will be happening to you once they find you?"
"I try not to think about that."
"Is it being true, then, than you are walking in on Dr Nero and Raven…what is it being called?...making out?
Everyone sat up straighter.
"No. I wouldn't be here if I did."
They slumped back into their seats.
"But they are being a couple, ja?"
"No. I don't think so."
Another sigh rose in the cafeteria. Shelby was shaking with laughter, Laura's book was forgotten and Wing looked utterly scandalised.
"But why aren't they being a couple? They are perfect!" Franz cried in disappointment, probably already thinking up ninja matchmaking tactics (2).
"It's because," Shelby interrupted the German, "Nero hasn't kissed her yet."
"But why not?" Franz wailed.
"I dunno-he's too dense? We all have that problem with men." Laura nodded vigorously in agreement with her friend.
"I don't know, Shel," Otto said over the PA System, "but a guy would be scared to kiss the object of his affections if she has seventy different ways to torture him, if she was so inclined."
Disappointed murmurs flew around the room.
"That is being a pity," Franz sighed, "because I am always liking to eat wedding cake."
When Raven heard Cassie from SciTech interrogating him about his sexual orientation, she was almost tempted to leave Otto be-watching him fend off the fangirls which had inevitably collected would have been entertaining.
Then a boy asked, "Is Doctor Nero an android robot?" Raven glanced at her employer in amusement, who had frozen in his tracks.
Otto had denied the fact and the boy asked "He's not?" in disappointment. "Is he a vampire?"
It was only years of training which stopped her from bursting into fits of laughter at his expression. She bit her lip and realized it was now Franz was talking.
"You are being very daring, doing this hijacking, ja?" he asked. "What will be happening to you once they find you?"
Nothing good, she was willing to bet, if Max's murderous expression was anything to go by.
"Is it being true, then, than you are walking in on Dr Nero and Raven…what is it being called?...making out?
The grin slid off her face faster than she would have thought possible.
"No. I wouldn't be here if I did."
Well, at least he denied it…making out? With Ma-Dr Nero? Where had that come from?
"But they are being a couple, ja?"
"No. I don't think so."
He had denied that too, but Raven shuddered as she realized what rumours were running rampant in HIVE. Well, they weren't true. Absolutely not.
But you wish they were, a snide voice whispered in her head.
Shut up, she told it.
"But why aren't they being a couple? They are perfect!" Franz cried in disappointment.
"It's because," Shelby interrupted, "Nero hasn't kissed her yet."
They both were just standing there, looking mortified and avoiding each other's eyes. For the very first time in her entire life, Raven felt like blushing. She couldn't even laugh at Nero's expression, because she knew it was a mirror image of her own.
"But why not?" Franz wailed.
"I dunno-he's too dense? We all have that problem with men," Trinity sniffed.
"I don't know, Shel," Malpense said over the PA System, "but a guy would be scared to kiss the object of his affections if she has seventy different ways to torture him, if she was so inclined."
She was fuming silently. She had more than seventy different ways of torture…and she planned to let Malpense know that first hand.
"That is being a pity," Franz sighed, "because I am always liking to eat wedding cake."
Wedding cake? Her head swiveled to face Dr Nero. He looked like he wanted to die. She, on the other hand, was more interested in killing someone else.
A certain white haired albino hacker genius someone, to be precise.
I disconnected Franz's call, and accepted the next one.
In a voice with chilled me to the heart, Raven promised, "Malpense, you shall die."
I managed to squeak out something strangled before I threw my Blackbox away and bolted to my secret hidey hole, hoping I would never, ever, ever be found by the assassin.
But she will find you…it's personal now isn't it? the Annoying Voice whispered nastily. Bet you didn't see this coming.
I whimpered softly. Maybe it would have been a good idea to keep a cyanide capsule with me.
Otto cut Franz's call and accepted the next one.
A voice filled with pure venom and smoldering fury filled the air, stopping everyone's heart. "Malpense, you shall die."
"Meep," he squeaked and he threw the Blackbox away and bolted-presumably to write a hastily composed epithet.
The silence was deafening. It was broken by none other than our favourite blonde.
"Well," Shelby said brightly, "That was entertaining."
"And that," Wing muttered, "was probably the understatement of the year."
(1) & (2) tributes to pigeonattack's Prom :)
For the record…Nero MIGHT be a vampire. MIGHT. One in a million, more impossible than Osama coming back to life, but MIGHT. Either that, or he has a particular love for plastic surgery (personally, I find this even more unlikely than the vampire theory), or he's been zapped my Prof. Pike's rays (most likely theory so far) or he uses liberal amounts of 'GLOVE Molecular Moisturizer-Why let wrinkles get in the way of you wickedness?'
On the whole, when you think about it that way, the vampire theory doesn't sound so bad :)
There's a little blue button down there. You have been instructed to NEVER EVER EVER EVER PRESS IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Now, if you have even the smallest villainous bone in you, you will click that button :)