Sexy
Quinn was sat in a random classroom with Rachel and Ms. Pillsbury; she had decided that re-joining the Celibacy Club might help make people think that she wasn't in a relationship; and because Sam and her had decided to wait until they did 'it' and both of them were beginning to slip up on that promise.
The blonde was pulled out of her thoughts by Ms. Pillsbury, the head of the club; addressing the group.
"The Celibacy Club will now come to order. Let's start the meeting by reading the minutes from last week's meeting, where we… read the minutes from the previous meeting, and Rachel spent the hour quizzing Quinn about the nature of her relationship with Finn."
Rachel played with her pen; "Questions somebody still refuses to answer…"
Quinn had had enough; "And I will continue to refuse to answer them, because they are none of your business!" she snapped at the smaller brunette.
"All I will reveal is that I re-joined the Celibacy Club to focus on me!"
"Me too." Rachel cut across her.
"Finn is kryptonite, which is why I'm focusing all of my energy on my song writing."
"Yes. And, I have to say, I am very inspired that both of you are showing how celibacy is a viable option for teens who simply aren't ready for intimacy. And for those who are older and are terrified of the hose monster. I have a little bit of club swag here that I think is really going to catch on. Ready? Chastity charms."
She showed the two students a little model with two necklaces on it, one with a heart and the other a key.
"We hand out the little hearts, but not the key. That way, nobody can open the lock forever. And, ladies, that's what keeps us safe!"
The girls smiled and nodded, until Rachel once again interrupted.
"I have some questions. Some things that I-I'm curious about…."
"No, no, no. Why be curious? No. Wait to have relations until you're comfortable. Right? Maybe 'til your honeymoon. I don't know, maybe even later."
The wide eyed teacher hit her fists on the table in enthusiasm.
"Celibacy, ladies! Dig it!"
The bell rang right on queue signalling the end of the club meeting. Emma handed the two girls their Chastity charms before they left, Quinn marched out of the building in record time, in order to escape the annoying brunette.
The next day Quinn was collecting her things from her locker when Santana and Tina walked passed and shouted "Brittany's pregnant!" to her.
"You have got to be kidding me! You would have thought after all the crap I went through, she would've learnt." Tina and Santana both nodded, the blonde walked with the two who were on their way to the choir room.
Will entered and addressed the whole group.
"All right, folks. Regional's is in a week. It's time to get deep into our set list."
He notices Artie's blank stare.
"Artie, you okay?" he asked concerned.
"My life is over. How am I supposed to support a baby?" The boy was completely petrified, he then turned to Brittany; "How could you not tell me about this?"
"Wait. Brittany, are you pregnant?" Mr Schue asked alarmed.
"Definitely. I'm so sorry, Artie. I didn't want to upset you. I thought I could surprise you when I dropped him off. Pretty sure it's a boy." Brittany tried to reassure her boyfriend; who was looking even more confused.
"Um, babies don't get dropped off…" Puck stated.
"Wait, Brittany, have you been to a doctor yet? That's the only way to be sure." Mr Schuester asked trying to get back to the original topic.
"I don't need to go to a doctor. I just need to look outside my window. Three days ago, a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I'm not stupid; it's obviously getting ready to bring me my baby. I know where babies come from."
Everyone in the room had expressions of shock and disbelief; Quinn couldn't believe her ears whereas Sam couldn't help but chuckle at the cheerleader's naivety. Artie exhaled the biggest sigh of relief of his life that his girlfriend wasn't pregnant; although he would need to explain the truth about where babies came from to her.
The next day the Glee Club were waiting once again in the choir room for Mr Schue; after the false drama yesterday the group were in high spirits, just happy that they didn't need to deal with yet another pregnancy.
Sam looked over at Quinn who was sat on the other side of the room, Rachel had sat down next to her and was trying to get the blondes attention; however Quinn completely ignored her and looked straight ahead. Sam couldn't help but snigger at the brunette's continues efforts at wittering in his secret girlfriend's ear; he nearly burst out laughing when Quinn tried to bat the poor girl away.
Once Rachel finally gave up, Sam looked around the room; his current 'girlfriend' Santana was leaning against the black piano along with Lauren and Tina. Suddenly Mr Schuester walked in and grabbed the white board pen he wrote and said the word "Sexy".
"I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regional's, because with Berry in those tights, we don't stand a chance." A couple of people in the group including Quinn laughed at the Latino's comment.
Will noticed the annoyed look on Rachel's face and decided to move on.
"No, this isn't about Regional's. I'm less worried about that right now and more worried about the fact that it's become clear to me that some of you have been lacking when it comes to understanding the…the, uh…the intricacies of adult relationships."
More people in the group laughed at their teacher's awkwardness at trying to talk about sex.
"Yeah, anyway's. Along with preparing for our Regional's next week, I want to spend the week educating ourselves about some of these intricacies."
"Is this the appropriate forum for that?" Rachel asked concerned.
"Look, whenever we had, uh, issues in the past that are on our minds or giving us problems, it's always helped us to sing about it. So, this week I have invited a special guest: Ms. Holliday!"
The blonde substitute teacher strode into the room oozing with confidence. The entire Glee Club clapped and cheered at Holly's arrival.
"Hola, clase." She greeted them.
"Oh no, it's the salad lady." Mercedes looked scared at the thought of her previous sex-ed lesson where she leant that cucumbers carried aids.
Holly stood in front of the class ready to talk to them about intimacy; "Okay, so: sex. It's just like hugging, only wetter."
"Yeah it is." Artie praised.
"Okay, so let's start with the basics. Finn, is it true that you thought you got your girlfriend pregnant via hot tub?"
Sam and Puck snorted with laughter at the boys stupidity, Quinn tried not to snigger whilst Finn looked embarrassed.
"I have always been dubious." the brunette quarterback replied.
Holly moved down the line of students.
"And, Brittany, you think that storks bring babies?" she asked in amazement.
"I get my information from Woody Woodpecker cartoons." Brittany replied with an oblivious smile on her face.
"Well, that's all going to end right here, right now. Because, today, we are going to get under the covers, all together, and get the ditty on the dirty."
Rachel fidgeted in her seat uncomfortably.
"I'm so turned on right now." Puck stated, but before Holly could reply, Rachel interrupted; "Uh, what about those of us who choose to remain celibate?" She touches Quinn's arm for support, but Quinn holds up a hand to stop the girl from going anywhere near her.
"Oh, well, I admire you. Although I think you're naive and possibly frigid, I do admire your choice." Holly stated.
Will looked uncomfortable and decided that they should move on; "I think this is a good time for a song."
"Oh! Yes, okay. Rule number one: every intimate encounter that you're ever going to have in your life is going to start with a touch. Hit it!" Holly ordered the band, which sprang into action.
The song 'Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)' begins, with Holly as lead. Brittany and Santana join in the choreography, eventually followed by everyone else, except Quinn and Rachel. The blonde tried not to show her jealousy as she watched Santana grab Sam to be her dance partner, the choreography wasn't exactly conservative.
Eventually Rachel and Quinn gave in to Holly's demands and joined the rest of the group in the number. Once the performance ended, the Glee Club members clap and cheer, breathlessly.
"So just remember, whenever you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with. And everybody's got a random."
Sam thought about Holly's last stamen, he cringe at the thought of Quinn's 'past' and just the idea of her having sex with Puck made him shudder.
The next day in the choir room, the Glee Club were at watching Santana, Holly and Brittany sitting on stools in front of the rest of the group. Holly sang the lead on "Landslide", with Santana and Brittany contributing vocals.
Santana and Brittany barely looked away from each other during the song, and to a much lesser extent, Holly and Mr Schue also share looks. As the song progresses, Quinn saw Santana gets visibly emotional; something extremely rare for the Latino. Once the song was over, everyone applauded; Santana wipes away her tears. Quinn was completely stunned at the Santana display of emotions.
"Is that really how you feel?" Brittany asked.
"Uh huh, yeah." Santana responded; she rose from her stall and went to go hug Brittany.
"Thank you" Quinn heard the brunette whisper.
"Pretty cool that our girlfriends are such good friends, right? I wish you and I were that close." Artie said to Sam who nodded in acknowledgement.
"Can I just applaud this trio for exploring the uncharted world of Sapphic charm? Brava, Brava." Rachel received some annoyed looks from the group.
"Look, just because I sang a song with Brittany doesn't mean that you can put a label on me. Is that clear?" Santana declared not only to Rachel but to the Glee Club; she then walked back to her chair after giving Brittany a look; the blonde watches her go.
Quinn was sat with the rest of the Celibacy club in a classroom. Ms. Pillsbury banged her gavel; to indicate the start of the meeting.
"This meeting of the Celibacy Club will now come to order. Before we begin, I would just like to start by congratulating you, by reminding you not one member of this club has had an unwanted pregnancy in almost a year."
Quinn rolled her eyes.
"You get tensies for menses! I also would like to welcome our newest member, Noah Puckerman."
Quinn and Rachel both scoffed.
"Are you lost, Noah?" Rachel asked irritation evident in her voice.
"Yeah, you don't belong here; you're the biggest French whore of them all." Quinn stated.
"Zizes and I were going to make a sex tape. I found out that making that tape would result in my arrest. I've hit rock bottom and I've come here to set myself straight."
The two girls still didn't look convinced.
"That's just awesome, Noah. And you're just in time, because tomorrow, the girls and I are going to perform a song for Glee Club extolling the benefits of celibacy."
"I'm down for that. Point of order, though. While three chicks and me is just a typical Saturday night in the Puckerman bedroom, it's not the best balance for singing. We need at least one more dude."
" I've got that covered." The ginger teacher smiled at the thought of her dreamy husband.
The next day was the day that the Celibacy Club would be performing for the rest of the Glee Club. Sam entered the Auditorium and took a seat in the middle so that he could get a good view of his girl.
Other members joined him, Santana stalked down the steps and collapsed onto the seat next to him. Sam tried not to groan, Quinn was going to give him a hard time later; she hated performing and having to look straight at the 'couple'.
Once everyone arrived including Mr Schuester and Holly; the Celibacy Club and Carl plus a jazz band walked on stage. Sam held back a chuckle; their outfits were awful.
"How long did it take Ms. Pillsbury to get Quinn in that dress?" He thought to himself.
They all started sing "Afternoon Delight" with photos of dessert as the backdrop. Sam noticed how throughout the entire performance Quinn didn't look at him once, instead she reciprocated several smiles between herself and Finn. The blonde clenched his fists in rage, he had already lost Quinn to Frankenteen and he wasn't about to let history repeat itself.
As a way of trying to calm himself down, Sam looked around at his fellow Glee Club members to see their reactions; Artie looked confused, Mercedes looked extremely bored and Lauren had a bemused expression. Most noticeable however, was Holly and Mr Schue, the two were giggling, laughing and dancing throughout the performance.
Finally the song came to an end; Brittany stood up and clapped wildly, whereas the rest just stayed sitting and looked puzzled. After a short pause Holly decided to break the silence.
"Hi! Um, Holly here. So, I'm a little confused. Isn't this a strange song for the Celibacy Club to sing?"
Emma looked baffled; "What, why? It's so wholesome. It was written during the Bicentennial to celebrate America and fireworks, and-"
Holly interrupted by saying; "No, it's about sneaking out for a nooner."
Ms. Pillsbury looked slightly lost and turned to her husband.
"Yes, exactly! A nooner is when you have dessert in the middle of the day, right? Right, Carl?"
Another awkward pause filled the room, leaving Mr Schuester to try and break the tension.
"Well, regardless, great job, guys. Great number, hey, Glee Club, let's go."
No one disagreed all wanting to leave as soon as possible, they all got up and hurried out.
After watching Finn and Quinn silently communicate via smiles, Sam decided that the only way he could spend more time with her during school hours was to join the Celibacy Club. However when he arrived she wasn't there, so he walked over to one of the empty seats and sat; whilst watching the door for her to enter. The rest of the club members filed in, including new recruits much like him; they were Lauren, Santana, Brittany and Artie. Sam initially thought that Santana would sit with her best friend Brittany; however she had been giving the blonde the cold shoulder so instead sat with Sam.
Quinn was next to enter; she saw Sam with Santana and sat in a row all on her own. Rachel arrived last and took Mrs Pillsbury's usual seat and banged the gavel.
"I hereby call the Celibacy Club to order."
"Where's Ms. Pillsbury?" Puck questioned.
"She decided to take the hour she was spending here to fix her sham of a marriage. In the interim, I'll be taking over." Rachel replied with a smile.
"Because you annoyingly take over everything?" Santana bitterly stated.
"Because I realized that while all of us making our celibacy pledge is wonderful, one day we're gonna fall in love with someone and we're going to choose to be intimate with them."
Santana glanced over at Brittany and Artie who were looking lovingly into each other's eyes.
"Speaking of intimate, what's with the hickey, Quinn?" Puck examined.
Quinn tried to keep a calm and unreadable face as she answered; "It's not a hickey."
"Oh, I know hickey's. I'm a freaking connoisseur. I can make them into shapes like balloon animals." Puck told Lauren who looked disinterested.
Sam watched as Quinn quickly thought of an excuse, she was extremely believable.
"I burnt myself this morning with a curling iron."
"The key is to use the curling iron in the bathtub, to keep you from getting burnt."
Brittany offered her little piece of wisdom which was received by shocked and disturbed expressions; "No." Lauren tried to explain why that was bad to the simple blonde.
"I was sure I was caught." Quinn thought to herself.
Flashback
Quinn and Sam were lying on the formers bed on top of the duvet, some random car could be heard pulling up into a neighbour's driveway; the sound alarmed Sam.
"What was that? Is that your mom?"
Quinn wrapped her arms around him from behind and whispered; "She's at work, she won't be home for hours. Divorce rules. Come here."
Sam rolled over to face her and the two begin to kiss, he then notices her neck.
"Oops. I'll be more careful with the hickey placement next time." He chuckled.
"Don't worry about it, this is so awesome. We have two months until prom, so we have plenty of time to campaign for prom king and queen." She smiled while looking into his eyes.
"But that's not all this is about, though, right?" Sam asked worried.
"Look, I made a mistake with Finn. You're the one I want to be with. You're the one I love. This is where I belong. With you. 'Kay?"
Sam smiled, he loved it when ever Quinn said those three words; "Kay."
The two continue kissing.
End of chapter 2
Hope you liked it :)