Authors Note:

Quick shout out to the first reviewers of this series. Invader Johnny and Megxolotl! If technology were advanced enough, I'd present you both with a Gir plushy.

This was written almost entirely on my cellphone, I tried to make sure it was presentable. Let me know if I failed.

Takes place during their second year of high school.

Warnings: Gobsmacked Dib.

Story Type: Humor.

XxXxX

Dib's mouth hung open as he took in the scene before him. There were no words in English for this, probably not Irken either. Or French.

Just, why?

"What the heck Zim? "

The alien looked up from the book he probably hadn't been reading, the picture of non-innocence. "What?"

"Like you don't know, why are their people hanging from the ceiling?" He could see the heads of Torque and some others poking out of what looked like weird cocoons.

Zim shrugged. "I have no idea, Dib-Stink. Why must you always accuse Zim of the wrongdoing?"

"Because it always is you!"

"It wasn't me when the seagulls attacked last week. "

Dib paused. "OK, yeah, that wasn't you. But there's no way this wasn't! They're in some kind of web! Seagulls don't make webs!"

"Yes they do. "

"No they don't! They don't just attack people either."

"They did last week. "

"That wasn't normal!"

The green boy smirked, clearly finding a lot of amusement in the other's frustration. Dib groaned and rubbed his forehead.

"Just, why Zim? I know it was you. "

The smirk changed to a scowl. "They started it. "

"Zim, you can't just glue people to ceilings, or walls. Or rogue elephants."

"That was an accident! I even apologized, you smelly worm baby! ME! The mighty ZIM! Reduced -"

"Yeah, I know" Dib cut him off, rolling his eyes. "Powerful invader reduced to such levels. " He still refused to believe you could glue someone to an animal by accident. But he had something a little more important to deal with at the moment. "You have to let them down."

"Why?"

"Yeah, why?" A dull voice popped up startling the young investigator. His head whipped around to see a bored looking teacher flipping through a copy of 'The Daily Bull'. She hadn't even looked up from it. "It's an improvement. "

He stared at her, flabbergasted. "Doesn't this... Freak you out at all?"

She shrugged. "Kids get bit by radioactive spiders all the time. I've seen stranger things in this madhouse."

"What could be stranger than this?! And he's not a spider he's a- never mind." he turned his attention back to Zim. "You can't leave them there forever. "

"I wasn't going to. I was going to let them down when the bell rang. "

"Uh-huh, which bell?"

The former invader shrugged. "Still deciding. "

"Zim-"

"They started it!" The Irken stood and glared at his almost-friend. "Zim was minding his own business, waiting for the boredom torture to commence, and they just started to antagonize him! Do you understand Dib?! They dared to provoke ZIM! A trained soldier! It couldn't be tolerated! "

"So instead of just telling them to back off you... " he glanced back up at the dangling bodies. "Stuck them to the ceiling. " Really, he ought to be used to this sort of thing by now.

"It's what I would do," the teacher commented.

The alien nodded. "They were the aggressors Dib, Zim is not at fault here. "

That could be seriously debated. But still, he guessed this was still an improvement. At least Zim hadn't dehydrated them into cubes again.

"You still have to let them down- yes Zim," he raised a hand as the alien tried to protest. "Now."

Zim let out a loud groan. "Fine." One spider leg extended from his PAK and began cutting the web.

Dib felt it was necessary to add, "And don't just let them crash to the floor."

The Irken cast him an irritated glare, sticking his tongue out. "Your scary sister is right, you are no fun."

Choosing to ignore the comment, Dib asked, "Aren't you worried about your cover anymore? There's no way they're not gonna remember something like this."

Zim waved him off. "Don't concern your large head, Zim has a device that will erase their memories of the past twelve hours."

Dib blinked. "Wow, that's longer than the whole school day. Isn't that, I don't know, excessive? Can't you cut it down a little?"

"No. "

"Okay..." he glanced at the teacher. "You'll probably want to do her too. Uh, sorry Ms. Blazae. "

"Do me a favor and bump it up to twelve years. "

Unsure of how to respond to that, Dib went back to watching Zim cut the cocoons. As the first kid was lowered from the ceiling, a thought hit him. "You know, if they forget the past twelve hours, they're not gonna remember that test we're supposed to study for. "

Zim looked at him, the wicked smirk back in place.

"How unfortunate. "

XxXxX

AN: This was thrown together in about 40 minutes, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I don't think I got them quite right, like this is just barely on the line between IC and OOC at best. This was only meant to be a funny little ficlet anyway, so if you readers got a giggle out of it maybe it's alright.

I'm not sure if PAKS can make webs or not, but I'd be surprised if they can't.

Feedback is a joy. Like sprinkles on a sundae.