Sherlock was bloody idiot! And so was John for letting Sherlock drag him around and get him into these situations! What had they been thinking, chasing after a masked gunman, without so much as a bullet proof jacket between them for protection? It was increasingly infuriating that both men had apprehended the troublesome gunman without even a scratch to themselves, and so Lestrade had stormed off while they were catching their breath and grinning at each other like the idiots they are.
He headed towards one of the police cars containing some evidence in an attempt to distract himself from their stupidity and his annoyance, but something in a dark alley caught his attention. From the corner of his eye he could have sworn he'd seen something move. His suspicion there was something happening was confirmed when he heard a muffled cry – or was it a groan? - come from the same direction.
He glanced around, not wanting anyone to follow him, and headed towards the alley. Whatever he had expected to find it was defiantly not the idiots themselves kissing each other senseless pressed up against the wall. John moved his mouth down Sherlock's jaw and proceeded to attach it to his neck, while Sherlock's pale hands with their long fingers stoked down the soft material of John's jumper stopping briefly to stroke at his belt, before diving straight into John's trousers. John groaned into Sherlock's neck and Sherlock tipped his head back, giving John more access to his neck.
Lestrade started to back away, knowing he had already seen far too much, and he may have gotten away with it, had there not been a crisp packet directly where he stood that made what seemed like the loudest noise he had ever heard.
Sherlock's head whipped up, glaring at Lestrade who had frozen. John lowered himself from his toes, he had been standing on the so he was able to reach Sherlock's face and neck, and Sherlock tried to retrieve his hand from John's pants.
"What are you doing?" Sherlock snapped; Lestrade had rarely seen him behave this way, so unrestrained, he felt bad for drawing it out of Sherlock in this way.
"Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I heard a noise down here so I came to investigate, but it was you two." Lestrade tried to explain himself.
"So you thought you'd stick around for the show?" Sherlock was furious and although he had remained quiet so far John didn't look best pleased either.
"Guys, I'm sorry, I'm not going to tell anyone, just calm down Sherlock. I'm going, now, but if you don't want to get arrested for public indecency maybe keep it above the waist next time?" Lestrade was desperately trying to escape, but wanted to come out of this one on top.
"Greg..." John finally spoke up, but was cut off by Sherlock, "Leave Lestrade, and don't say a word."
"I won't you know that." Lestrade promised.
He walked away, fighting to keep a smug grin off his face knowing he had some leverage over Sherlock for when he was next being particularly difficult.