An Interrupted Journey

Chapter Two – Loss and Recollection

It was dark. It was always dark... and stale. How long had it been since the doors were opened? She couldn't blame anyone else. It had been by her own orders. But it was dark and she was dreadfully tired of dark.

It had been dark ever since that day, the day her dear Anne took her final breath. The same day, though she hadn't learned it until much later, that her brother-in-law, George Darcy also took his final breath. If she hadn't insisted on their annual visit; If she hadn't been pushing for an alliance between their houses; would it have all ended differently?

Anne had never improved greatly, but she had improved. When Lady Catherine had met with the tradesman, Gardiner, he had done more than just supply her with the leaves. He had also spoken of the young doctor who subscribed to more modern methods and decried bleeding and other macabre practices. She had been skeptical, at first, yet also desperate. And it had helped. Over that next year Anne had grown healthier, though the attacks never fully went away.

And then scarlet fever had struck Derbyshire at the same time as their annual visit. Lady Catherine hadn't known it right away. In fact, they were well on their road home to Rosings when the symptoms appeared and rapidly struck Anne and her companion down and yet skipped cruelly over Lady Catherine. It had happened so quickly. How could they have known? They had stopped in a largish village and called for help. Her beloved only child died in a barn, the only place the doctor and populace would allow to the infected young woman. They wouldn't even allow her to bring her daughter's body home, instead whisking the body away for immediate burial.

Lady Catherine had crawled home to Rosings once that hateful doctor had allowed her out of quarantine... but it wasn't home anymore. She lived there... if it could be called living... but she kept it dark. After all, wasn't her beloved Anne also in a dark place?

But now it was too dark. I cannot be like this any longer. I am Lady Catherine de Bourgh, daughter of an Earl, sister of an Earl, wife of a Baronet, and owner of one of the proudest estates in England!

"Matthews!"

"Yes, Lady Catherine?"

"It is too dark in here. Open up the curtains! Open up some windows! I want light in here!" The startled man was dumbstruck, but he hurriedly complied. Both of them winced at the brightness, yet the curtains remained open. Matthews never commented, yet he had tears in the corners of his eyes at this change. He was loyal. He had remained when so many others had left. Still, he had despaired of seeing life in Rosings or its mistress ever again.

oOo

It was not enough. There was light again... and air. New staff had been hired and Rosings had been energetically cleaned from top to bottom. But it was not enough. She needed a change of scenery. A fresh place, un-shadowed by memories of Anne... at least for a while.

So she traveled. First to London to visit a dear friend. Then to her childhood home in Matlock visiting her brother, now the Fitzwilliam family patriarch and a great disappointment. She spent a summer in the Fitzwilliam family home in Bath. Then she traveled back to Pemberley, despite a certain animosity she felt towards the place. None of it satisfied.

Of particular annoyance was the manner in which little Georgiana flinched every time she offered correction to the girl. Surely there was no reason for such timidity? True, Lady Catherine liked to have her say, but it wasn't as if she was going to eat the girl! Why couldn't the timid thing be like that other little girl? What was her name? Elizabeth.

Now there was a girl who knew how to hold her own against the world...To say that the thought stuck with the lady would have been an understatement. With each passing day the chance encounter was remembered and revisited with surprising clarity and no small measure of enjoyment. At one point Lady Catherine drifted off at the Darcy dinner table and the girl's impertinence actually made her giggle. When she came to herself the Darcys, brother and sister alike, seemed suspended in mid-movement, forks halfway to their mouths. Ridiculous! It is not as if I have never laughed in front of them before! Such utter nonsense!

The following morning, much to the relief of the Darcy siblings, Lady Catherine de Bourgh had her carriage readied and began her journey south.

oOoOOoOo

Lizzie Bennet stomped out of the house, chased by her mother's shrill voice, "Hill! Hill!" She was fifteen. Soon she would be sixteen, and her mother had insisted on her being "out." It was ridiculous! It wasn't that Lizzie was worried about public events; she was completely comfortable with social interaction. It wasn't that she didn't want to dance; she loved dancing and was quite good at it, if modesty would permit the assertion. And it wasn't exhibiting, though she wasn't technically gifted at the pianoforte. It was her mother's obsession with marriage that was the issue.

Poor, compliant Jane, truly the most beautiful girl Lizzie had ever beheld, was already much sought after, though nobody of any significance had yet offered marriage. Men stared at her, ogled her, and drooled over her. Some became tongue-tied and couldn't utter a coherent word. Others were verbose in proclaiming their own worth in order to impress her. Others... the ones who worried Jane and Lizzie the most, tried to take liberties when they could.

If Mama were different, this would be preventable, but she was so obsessed with finding husbands for her daughters that she had pushed Jane into more than one dangerous situation. Lizzie suspected that her mother wouldn't have minded a compromise if it resulted in a marriage, forced or otherwise.

Now her sights had begun to fix on Lizzie, and Lizzie wanted nothing to do with her mother's schemes. It didn't help that her mother persistently pointed out how beautiful Jane was while she was so lacking in that department. Even worse, she constantly berated Lizzie for her reading. "No man wants an girl who thinks she's intelligent, Lizzie! Who ever heard of such a thing! You'll be the ruin of us all! But then you already have been, haven't you?"

All of that would have been endurable, but this morning was the final straw. Lizzie had only recently spent two months with her beloved aunt and uncle, the Gardiners. While there, as an early birthday gift, Madeline Gardiner had taken her to her own modiste and ordered five dresses for Lizzie. They were truly beautiful, and just her style: simple, modest, and elegant.

Lizzie had been so proud of those dresses and had dreamed about wearing each one to an assembly, or even a ball. When she returned to Longbourn, she had safely put the dresses away to prevent any potential damage. But when Lizzie opened her wardrobe that morning, it was to discover that the dresses were gone! At first she had suspected Lydia, her very spoiled youngest sister. What she learned instead was that Mama had taken the dresses to Meryton's dressmaker and had instructed her to modify them! Lizzie knew what modify meant! She would want the whole festooned with lace, except for the bodice, which she would wish lowered to enhance the display of her decolletage!

Lizzie had protested, even taking her complaints to her father, but he had only laughed the matter off and returned to his book. That was the final straw. Her father, who was supposed to defend her, would not take the time.

Her thoughts were thunderous as she stomped and groused all of the way to Meryton, barely noticing the large, fancy, crested carriage that passed her going in the opposite direction.

oOo

It was a very tired young woman who arrived back at Longbourn an hour later. Four dresses could become exceedingly heavy and cumbersome when carried by hand for two miles. There should have been five, but the fifth had already been dissected to begin the modifications and would now have to be restored. Thankfully the dressmaker knew the Bennets well and liked Lizzie or the whole would have been a loss. It might cause problems with Mrs. Bennet, but they both knew that Lizzie would bear the brunt of her mother's displeasure anyway, no matter who was at-fault.

When Lizzie finally turned the final corner onto the circular drive, she was taken aback to see a huge, fancy carriage with four beautiful matched horses. Lizzie wasn't fond of horses yet even she could recognize their beauty, and this quartet was definitely of the finest quality.

The house was strangely silent when she walked in. Before proceeding to the drawing room, she handed Sarah the dresses along with a padlock she had purchased. Then she stepped into the room to find her mother, father, and sisters all sitting very erect and still, while another older woman seemed to be holding court. Had the Queen herself been in the room, she could not have looked more regal than this lady.

All heads turned. All eyes fixed on Lizzie. Lydia looked miffed. Kitty looked overwhelmed. Mary looked irritated that she was losing time better spent in practice or perhaps because her father wouldn't allow her to exhibit for their guest. Jane seemed serene, yet also intimidated. Mama was both awed and irritated. And Papa looked amused as he raised a challenging eyebrow at her. Why is everyone focusing on me? Lizzie took all of this in a moment, then turned her attention to the lady. Recognition dawned but eluded her for another long moment, and then she smiled and curtsied, "My Lady, how very nice to see you again. May I ask...?"

The woman's stern face relaxed and she seemed both sad and somehow pleased to be recognized. "I'm afraid that my Anne is no longer with me, Miss Elizabeth Bennet. She died of scarlet fever more than a year ago." She stood, never taking her eyes off of Lizzie, "Miss Elizabeth, there seemed to be a prettyish kind of little wilderness on one side of your lawn. I should be glad to take a turn in it, if you will favor me with your company."

It seemed more an order than a question, but it was also a welcome diversion from Elizabeth's irritation of the morning. Still angry with both mother and father, she did not deign to consult them, rather saying, "Certainly, my Lady."

Although not consulted, Fanny Bennet squawked, "Go, my dear and shew her ladyship about the different walks. I think she will be pleased with the hermitage."

The others remained stone silent as the two stepped out and turned down the lane toward the park. Finally, Lizzy said, "Forgive me, my Lady, but it has been a considerable time since we spoke, and I cannot seem to recall your name."

The lady replied sternly, "Remembering names is a vital and required skill in a young woman, Miss Bennet, but as you were quite young and our meeting very brief, I shall not hold it against you." Although her tone seemed hard, there was a twinkle in the older woman's eyes which softened the reply. "I am Lady Catherine de Bourgh."

Lizzy stopped walking, causing the lady to stop and turn. Grinning, she dipped a curtsy and said, "Then I am pleased to meet you again, Lady Catherine de Bourgh..." Her smile faded and her expression saddened, "And I am truly sorry to hear about your daughter."

Lady Catherine only nodded, her expression momentarily bleak before she shook it off and continued walking. They proceeded in silence along the gravel walk that led to the copse. Elizabeth decided to wait for the lady to speak, since she sensed some purpose in this visit. Once they reached the small grove, the older woman turned, "You can have no idea as to the reason for my journey here, Miss Bennet."

"You are correct, Lady Catherine, I have not been able to account for the honor of seeing you here. Though I should remark that here I am Miss Elizabeth, as my older sister, Jane, is yet unmarried."

"Very well. Miss Elizabeth, my character has ever been celebrated for its sincerity and frankness, and in a cause of such moment as this, I shall certainly not depart from it. Our meeting came to my remembrance some time ago and had remained with me ever since. As I had business dealings with your uncle up until a year ago, I went to speak with him in order to ascertain the means of renewing our acquaintance."

Lizzie smiled, unaware of how endearing her smile was, after always being compared to her older sister. "Then I feel truly honored. I wonder you took the trouble of coming so far. It is unfortunate that we missed each other by only a few days, as I was just in London with the Gardiners for the past two months. Still, I am pleased that you are here. Now that you are here, how may I serve you?"

"I should like to spend some time with you. I have ascertained from your mother..." her tone was such as to afford Lizzie a reasonable idea of the lady's opinion of the woman mentioned, "...that you are to attend an assembly on the morrow. Have you already completed preparations for that event or do you need to visit certain shops to complete your task?"

For a moment, the memories of the morning's conflict returned, but Lizzie pushed them aside, "I am prepared, Lady Catherine, with the exception of those tasks that can only be completed directly before the event itself."

"Very well then. Though I detest inns, I have taken a room at your Meryton's little inn. Perhaps, with your father's permission, you can take me on a tour of the village and tell me what you have done with yourself since our previous meeting."

Once again, it sounded more like an order than a request, but Lizzie was more than happy to comply. It would keep her out of her mother's reach for a while longer...

oOo

Lady Catherine spent the rest of the day with Lizzie, only returning the young lady in time for the evening meal, which she declined to join, choosing instead to dine at the inn. Fanny Bennet spent the meal in question extolling the dress and style of the woman while also scolding Lizzie for selfishly keeping the woman to herself. "It is to be expected of you, Lizzie. You always were the most selfish creature!" Jane squeezed her sister's hand under the table. Mary ignored everyone. Kitty coughed. Lydia nodded in agreement with her mother and glared, though she did add, "La, I would not wish to spend time with the wrinkled old creature anyway."

Once again her father sat at the head of the table, not deigning to intervene until he finished his meal, wiped his face, and said. "That is as may be, my dear, but at the moment I wish to have a private word with my Lizzie. Come Dear."

Lizzie obediently followed, trying to ignore her mother's words as they pursued her out of the room. Once in her father's "book room," Thomas Bennet gestured to her usual seat, "Sit, Lizzie, and tell me how it is that you are acquainted with Lady Catherine de Bourgh."

She told her tale while her father drank his port. When she was finished, he grinned, "And now her daughter is dead. Well, it doesn't seem as if she is coming after you or your uncle for damages, so your dowry is safe for now, pittance that it is. So then, what of today. Of what did you speak while spending an entire afternoon with the great lady?"

Lizzie felt uncomfortable relating everything, not because she had said or done anything wrong, but because her father seemed inclined to make a joke of it all. Nevertheless, she did provide an overview.

"Hmmm, so it seems that the lady has taken an interest in you, though her true intent is yet unclear. She is to attend tomorrow's assembly?"

"Yes, Father."

"Well then, it should be both interesting and enlightening. You have attracted the attention of a grand lady, Lizzie. We shall see what comes of it in time, I suppose."

oOo

Jane and Lizzie said their good nights to Mary and Kitty before shutting their door. Kitty had shared a room with Lydia at one time, but Mama had moved Kitty into Mary's room after Lydia complained about how Kitty's "episodes" were too disturbing for her. Now Mary watched over her at night while Jane and Lizzie shared the responsibility during the day, or at least when Lizzie was allowed to reside at Longbourn.

Kitty's condition had been gradually regressing, despite the best medicines that Uncle Gardiner could procure. Jane, the dearest and kindest of sisters, had taken on most of Kitty's care for years, until she turned sixteen, came out, and her mother began demanding most of her attention. It was she who first learned how to calm her little sister down and restore her breathing. Now Mary and Lizzie shared the responsibility with her. Lydia had little interest in the girl who was closest in age to her, since she couldn't do the things Lydia liked to do.

Now, as the two eldest lay on the big bed together, Jane demanded details in her inimitably genteel way. When Lizzie finished her narrative, Jane nodded, "Now I see why you caught her attention. That was a nice thing that you did, Lizzy."

Lizzy sighed, "But maybe Mama's right. It was you who learned how to calm Kitty down and you who was first taught how to use the eucalyptus. I learned it all from you... so shouldn't Lady Catherine's attention be focused on you?"

Jane actually shuddered, "Please no. I know that you say that she is actually kind, and you know that I always like to believe the best of people... but she frightens me."

This was delivered in such a plaintive manner that Lizzy giggled and was soon joined by her sister.

oOo

Lady Catherine, having gleaned more about the doings in the Bennet household than any realized, had that same evening sent an express summoning the family solicitor from London. That worthy made his appearance at an hour before noon on the following day. While Fanny Bennet was marshalling the troops for the battle that would be the evening assembly, Lady Catherine was holding her own council of war.

It was a wonder that neither Jane nor Lizzie were overtaken by their own case of their mother's oft-mentioned nerves by the time the evening hours approached. Jane maintained her serenity, at least externally. Lizzie was fighting the deep desire for matricide.

Fanny had been her usual contradictory self all day. She had scolded her second daughter for rising early, yet complained of not enough hours in the day to prepare. She had admonished the girl to be sure and move in such a way as to highlight her feminine figure, yet bemoaned the fact that Lizzie's figure would never be much to speak of. She had made the poor maid, Sarah, try numerous hairstyles while emphasizing that Lizzie's looks would never hold a candle to Jane's beauty, or even that of her little Lydia. She ordered her daughter to be confident and then spent the day tearing the girl down.

Mrs. Bennet's strongest theme of the day concerned Lady Catherine de Bourgh. She didn't know what interest the lady had in Lizzie, and didn't particularly care. Instead she scolded her daughter about selfishly hoarding the great woman's attention. "Why she would pay attention to you when my Jane is here, I cannot understand. With her connections, my beautiful Jane would have access to the first circle of men. Did you know that she is the daughter of an earl, and her brother is now the earl? I looked it up in Debretts. The earl had three unmarried sons! Why, she could introduce Jane to any one of them and they would fall in love with her! Imagine: Lady Jane, Countess of Matlock!"

"I don't think..."

"Of course you don't, girl. Your father may have foolishly let you bury your face in his books, but you have no understanding of the world. That is why you must allow your sister to spend time with Lady Catherine rather than keeping her to yourself. She has the beauty to attract a rich suitor. And then, when she's a great lady, she can throw her sisters into the path of rich men! Oh, how I wish my Lydia was only older."

The one benefit Lizzie reaped from her mother's fixation on the topic of the Lady was that she didn't have time to scorn her daughter's rescued dresses. Mrs. Hill had hidden the dresses away for her until her guest had departed. Then Mr. Hill had quietly installed the clasp on Lizzie's wardrobe for the padlock that she had purchased. Lizzie had expected a battle, but her mother was too distracted to waste the effort on her troublesome second. For now the dresses were safe and Lizzie would attend her first assembly in a style that pleased herself, not her mother.

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