Sam fell to her knees as she came through the gate, twisting around to see it disengage soon after. She watched as Daniel called for a medic before her eyes jumped to that of the Colonel's body. She reached out, grabbing his cold hand, squeezing it as she vainly waited for some reaction from him.
Teal'c placed him on the stretcher and turned to the nurse, watching as he set up an IV and heart monitor. "I believe such actions are useless at this time. O'Neill has been without life for much too long."
She tilted her head back, looking upwards as if in search of answers. Escaped tears lined the side of her face as she grieved silently as the heart monitor confirmed the Jaffa's analysis. She bowed her head as they pulled a white sheet, covering Jack's body from head to toe. Her eyes met the sad ones of the General, knowing that despite his tough exterior, the older man did hold a soft spot for her commanding officer. She looked up just in time to see Daniel's disappearing form as he exited the room, knowing that he was affected by this almost as much as she was.
"Captain?"
She pushed herself up, sitting back on her heels as she glanced up at the approaching General. "Sir?" Voice unsteady, tears unmasked.
"What happened, Captain?" George asked, voice still holding enough authority though not hiding the shock and sadness that lined his words. "One minute SG-1 is heading bright and bushy-tailed through the gate, the next we're one man down…" He paused, his words almost sealing the deal of one of his finest men's passing. "What happened?"
Sam stood up, arms wrapped around her frame. She opened her mouth to speak, her lips forming words but no sounds being emitted.
George nodded, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Debriefing in ten minutes. I'd normally give the team more time, Captain - and I know that this is tough on you, hell it's tough on all of us but I can't dilly-daddle around until I know exactly what happened to one of my finest." He nodded, searching her eyes for acknowledgement. "Is that understood, Captain?"
"Yes sir." Her voice was soft, as her eyes followed the nurse wheel the stretcher towards the door.
"Samantha."
It was whispered and she actually felt it tickle the side of her neck. She looked around, sure that it was his voice. "Sir?" She called out, running down the ramp. "Sir!"
"Captain Carter!" George chased after her, although at a slower pace.
"Sir!" She reached the stretcher and pulled the sheet, exposing the face of her commanding officer. "Jack?" she placed a hand on his cheek, pulling back quickly as the coldness of his skin registered.
"Captain, what is the meaning of this?" George asked, ordering the nurse to cover up Jack again. He sighed, looking away. "I know this is a terrible ordeal but - "
" - I heard him." She interrupted him. "He said my name, Sir. I wouldn't make this up." She began to protest, stopping when the General held up his hand.
"Now I know that you wouldn't make this up, Captain. I just think maybe…maybe right now you're just hearing what you want to hear."
She closed her eyes sadly, giving him a small nod. "Sorry Sir."
"A quick stop at the infirmary and then I want you and the rest of the team for debriefing, ASAP. And that's an order." George barked, turning on his heel and heading towards his office. Stepping inside, he slammed the door closed behind him, collapsing into his chair. He rested his chin on his steepled hands, staring straight ahead in contemplation. He reached for the red phone that sat proudly on his desk.
"This is Hammond. I need to speak with the President right away." He paused, swallowing hard. "Yes I'll hold."
The General stepped into the solemn room, sitting down at his usual place at the head of the table. He glanced at the SG-1 team, each sitting in their claimed spots with one side heavily outweighing the other. He looked up at Sam, noticing how she had chosen to sit in her usual chair. He glanced over at the chair beside her, furrowing his brow at how it had been pulled out, almost as if someone had been using it recently. He cleared his throat, gaining their attention.
"I don't see why we should be doing this now."
Teal'c and Sam didn't bother to look up, knowing that the General figured they agreed with Daniel's comment.
"One of my finest soldiers fell today, Dr. Jackson. Aren't you the least bit curious as to why?"
"I'm grieving the loss of a friend!" Daniel exclaimed, voice loud but eyes still not holding the General's.
Sam finally looked up, looking at George sadly. "Sir, please excuse us. It's just…we need time to grieve, to figure it out ourselves."
"I just want to know what happened. Off the record if you will." He paused, leaning forward, eyes almost pleading. "From one of Jack O'Neill's friends to another."
Teal'c nodded. "We arrived at P3X-173 to find the land no longer inhabited. However, observations had lead us to believe that life had been present but moments before our arrival."
"There was a cauldron on the fire, food on tables…" Sam continued. "We got into one of the rooms at the center of town only to find all the inhabitants gathered there."
"And did they say anything? Do anything?" George asked, intrigued.
"Negative." Teal'c answered. "They had been without life. All of them at once."
"Mass suicide?" The General asked, looking at Daniel who merely nodded.
"We left the bodies there, for it might have been part of their rituals, their culture. I think it would have been disrespectful to have moved them, Sir." Daniel explained.
George nodded. "Understood." He paused, looking at all three members. "What happened to the Colonel?"
Sam sat up, feeling something tickle the base of her neck. She ignored it, focusing her attention on the General. "Colonel O'Neill mentioned several times that he didn't feel at ease on that planet, Sir. Maybe it was something in the air…"
"Then why are we alive and not Jack?!" Daniel yelled, startling everyone in the room. "We got checked out by the doctors, there's nothing wrong with us. So why Jack?"
Sam bowed her head, closing her tearful eyes. "I don't know, Daniel." She whispered. She pressed her lips together, looking back at George. "We walked back to the gate, where Colonel O'Neill said he'd meet us after we finished getting samples and documents. We walked back and he was just sitting there…"
"What Captain Carter is trying to say is that O'Neill must have passed on while we were finishing up our research. We have no accounts for what happened during the time he left and the time we rejoined him." The Jaffa spoke solemnly, chin resting on his fists.
George sighed, scratching his head. "I don't know what to say." He stood up. "Perhaps an autopsy report will shed some light on the situation." He looked at the rest of the SG-1 team. "Until further orders, SG-1 is on indefinite leave."
Sam stood up, causing the others to follow suite. "With permission Sir, the others and I would like to return to PX3-173 to further analyze the environment - maybe retrace the Colonel's steps, see if anything could have caused him harm…"
"Denied, Captain." George nodded towards her, no guilt in his eyes. "I don't want more of you turning up like Colonel O'Neill. You are much too valued."
"More valued than the Colonel?" Sam asked, lips pressed in a thin line. "Because if we can solve this, maybe we can -"
" - can what, Captain? Bring him back?" The General interrupted her, holding her gaze.
She looked away, exhaling loudly through her nose. "Permission to go through the gate, Sir." She asked again, her voice strained.
"Denied, Captain. And that's the last time we are discussing this. Until an autopsy is done, no one is going back to that planet and that's an order. Is that understood, SG-1?"
"Permission to be dismissed, Sir." Sam stared straight ahead, not bothering to hide the ire in her voice.
"Granted." George all but yelled, matching the emotion in her voice.
She turned and walked out, clenched fists at her side. Daniel followed her, not bothering to look in the General's direction. Teal'c bowed his head to George, before exiting the room.
George watched them leave, angry at them, angry at himself and angry at Jack for leaving them all. He walked around the table, pushing Daniel's chair in. He replaced Teal'c chair and walked around to the other side. Pushing in Sam's chair, he moved on to the next - the chair that would have supported Jack O'Neill had he still been with them. He knew the extent of the shock of losing not only a great Colonel but a friend as well hadn't hit him yet. He sighed, leaning on Jack's chair, subconsciously making a note that it had already been put back in its place. He took a step back and eyed the chair suspiciously before shaking his head and leaving the room.
She stood at the door to the morgue, watching through the window as two men stood discussing. She saw them point to the body and then point to the metal slabs were a few other dead bodies lay. She watched as they wheeled Jack, placing him near the other bodies. She observed his body, noting that it had gone through several full wash-downs and had been prepped for an autopsy. She chewed on her lower lip before heading towards the General's office.
"Sam…"
She turned around abruptly, staring down the empty halls. Glancing back, she took a step towards the door, glancing into the morgue once more. His body still lay where she had last seen it. She closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against the cool metal of the door. Her shoulders dropped, feeling a comforting weight on one of them, almost giving her a small massage. Suddenly, her eyes flew open and she whipped around, staring straight ahead. She pressed her back against the door, looking around and breathing hard. "What the hell is going on?" She asked herself, quietly. She pushed herself off the door and walked briskly down the hall.
She knocked on the door and waited patiently for the General to motion her in. Turning the handle, she gently pushed open the door only to find an empty chair staring back at her. "Great." She walked in and sat down in the visitor's chair, waiting for his return.
Her head snapped back and she stared at the door, unsure whether she had heard a knock or not. She got up and opened the door, looking around when no one was present. She placed a hand to her forehead, wondering whether she was going crazy or not. She smiled sadly to herself, sure that if the Colonel was still around, he would have told her that she had gone crazy a long time ago. Closing the door, she sat back down, allowing the unshed tears to finally be released. She focused on her breathing, trying to even it out as she finally let her emotions out. She sniffed, wiping away at her tears when she suddenly noticed that the General's filing cabinet was wide open, notably the O-Z section. Her brow furrowed and she pushed herself out of her seat, walking towards the cabinet. She looked down, noting that the first folder bore the name O'Neill, Jack. She cocked her head to the side, wondering why Jack's folder was in front of both O'Brannagan and O'Fleury's. She picked up his folder and looked through it, smiling softly to herself as she read all about his accomplishments. The only negative remarks were reports against insubordination and disobeying direct orders. She let out a small laugh knowing that's exactly what she expected to read.
A paper fell lazily to the floor and she bent down, picking it up. Eyes wide, she dropped the folder to the floor and clutched the paper, running towards the door. She opened it just as George reached for the handle with his key. They both stopped, staring at each other with surprise.
"Captain Carter! What is the meaning of this?!"
"Um, no time to explain Sir, sorry!" She yelled, pushing past him.
"Captain Carter! Come back here and explain yourself!" He yelled out to her retreating form. "That's an order, Captain!"
She arrived at morgue, bursting through the door.
"Hey, this is a restricted area!" One of the men informed her.
She ignored him, looking for Jack's body. "Have you started the autopsy yet?" She asked, breathlessly.
"We were just about to -" The other one pointed to the Colonel's body, and she followed the marker lines that offered guidance for the Y incision.
"But this area is still off limits, even to you, Captain." The first man began to guide her towards the exit, just as George barged in.
"Captain Carter, you'd better explain yourself right now or I will place you under immediate suspension for disobeying direct orders!" George huffed as he stepped into the room, followed by two soldiers.
"Sir, I had to stop the autopsy." Sam said, approaching the General.
"Good God Captain, why?" He asked, shocked.
"As per the Colonel's request." She held up the sheet, relinquishing it to the General's outstretched hands. "It states that should a mission result in death," she paused, closing her eyes, "his wish is that his body is not cut up as he so eloquently put it." She glanced to her right, jerking her arm away when she felt a slight pinch. She rotated her shoulder, thinking it to be perhaps a pulled muscle.
"Captain…"
"I know it's an odd request, Sir…but like a DNR, it is the Colonel's wish -"
"No Captain…" The General continued, holding up the piece of paper for her to inspect. "The ink is still wet, Captain."
Sam paused, mouth open as she stared at it. "Maybe the moisture in my hands…" She took the paper, passing a finger over the lettering, watching as it smudged under her touch. "I don't understand Sir…it's his handwriting."
"Are you certain, Captain?" George asked, hands folded over his chest.
She took a step back. "If the Colonel wishes for his body to remain intact, I think we should see his wish through, Sir."
"Because he asked for it."
"Yes Sir."
"Wrote it down."
"Yes Sir."
"His own handwriting."
"Sir…"
"We'll put off the autopsy for now, until we decide whether there is merit to this so-called document, Captain." George motioned one of the soldiers to retrieve the paper. "Consider yourself dismissed, Captain and on indefinite suspension until we get this mess figured out."
"Sir?" She took a step forward, in protest. "I don't see that as being very fair -"
"And I suppose it's fair for you to be caught breaking and entering into not only my office but my file cabinet which contains documents that are classified, disobeying direct orders…and that's just in the past ten minutes!" He shook his head, heading out. "You're on forced leave until things get back to normal…"
"Yeah because intergalactic travel and battling with alien creatures that live inside your body is as normal as it gets!" She yelled out, though knowing it wasn't helping her cause. She sighed, placing her hands on her hips in defeat. Walking towards the slab where Jack lay motionless, she gently pulled back the thick vinyl cover that covered him. Placing her hands along the tray, she leaned over and watched him. "I'm sorry." She whispered. "I shouldn't have let you go alone." She reached over, cupping his cold cheek with her warm hand. Her eyes searched his face, imprinting it to memory. "What happened to you…?" She whispered, wiping away a tear.
"Still here with you."
She turned around, knocking over the tray of instruments that lay unused beside Jack's body. The two other lab technicians glanced up, taking in her shaken form.
"Captain? Are you okay?" One of them asked, approaching her.
She nodded slowly, holding out her hand and pointing to them. "D-did either of you say anything?"
"No Captain." The first one shook his head, glancing over at his partner who mimicked the same motion.
"And let me guess, neither of you heard that voice either, right?" She rolled her eyes as both of the shrugged. "Great…guess I am going crazy," she muttered to herself as she exited the room.
She glanced at her watch, deciding to change before she head off base. She's phone Daniel and Teal'c later, though she was sure rumour-mill had already reached their ears. She walked into the bathroom, placing the sign that stated a woman was using the facilities. She opened her locker and looked at herself in the mirror, noting the circles that were forming underneath her eyes. She brushed a hand through her hair, cringing as her raked fingers tangled with the knots that stood proudly in her golden strands. She glanced at the showers, the imagined warmth tempting her. Quickly taking off her clothes, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her as she padded to the showers. Checking each and every stall, she was relieved to know that no one else was occupying it. She took the stall in the far corner and hung her towel on the hook right outside.
She leaned over, turning on the water and letting it run hot enough to warm up the cold tiles that lined the shower stalls. She stepped in, sighing aloud as the warmth caressed her aching muscles. She closed her eyes, tilting her head back as the water cascaded down her face and body. She passed a hand through her hair, slicking it back.
"God Carter…you're beautiful."
She closed her eyes, choking back on a sob as she listened to the whispered words - words that she had wanted to hear for so long. She screwed her eyes shut, repeating to herself that it was just her imagination playing tricks on her. The General's observation played back, telling her that she was just hearing what she wanted to hear.
She shook her head and reached for the shampoo, dispensing some in her hands and lathering her hair. Stepping under the warm jets, she rigorously scrubbed her scalp, getting all the excess liquid out of her hair. She let out an aggravated groan as she brought a fist to the tiled wall, letting her emotions come out in small spurts. She leaned her forehead against the wall, hating the fact that every time she closed her eyes, she saw his face.
She straightened out suddenly, feeling a weight press against her back.
"Eyes closed, Carter."
She held her breath, recognizing his voice in a heartbeat. "Sir?"
Hands slid alongside hers until they reached her fingers, lacing together. She whimpered softly, feeling a pair of lips slide breathlessly across the nape of her neck, stopping to place a kiss at the top of her spine. Hands now slid back down, trailing lightly across her wet skin until they reached each hip. They slowly moved forward until they completely encircled her, holding her close.
She reached down and grabbed hold of one of the hands, and grasping at it.
"Always with you, Sam."
She felt his body withdraw and she finally opened her eyes, turning around and staring at the opposite wall. She poked her head out of the stall, pushing aside the vinyl curtain violently. "Sir!" She called out, body shivering as it met harshly with the coldness outside of the stall. "Jack." She whispered, looking around vainly. She took a deep breath, trying to control the trembles in her body. She stepped back into the shower, unsure if her mind was so desperate for him that it would actually physically trick her. "Mind's a powerful tool," she reminded herself quietly as she finished off her shower.
-TBC-