of the past
Assertive Tom switched on the cold water and threw himself under the shower before he could change his opinion. It had been another hard night and he was truly tired but knowing that he had to get prepared for a long day, even it was only 4 o'clock in the morning now.
When he came home the night before he had done his best to get sleepy, even catched his sneakers and did a run around the block, but like always since he was released from prison sleep didn't come easy. When he finally dozed off it wasn't recreative at all as the nightmares took over again and so he flipped around in his bed and got up with at least only three hours of sleep.
Before he got back to Jump Street the young man had done a lot of thinking about his life and all he found was a whole big mess. There weren't really anybody, except his mother, that ment something to him. Sure, Dough was a close friend...or had been one. Tom didn't really know why, but while sitting behind barrs, waiting for time killing him, he recognized that there was something missing that Penhall couldn't fill.
This didn't really bother Hanson as long as he thought of his job as an appointment, something he owed to his father.
But since the incident with Harry getting hurt and himself being locked this assurance that he was doing good in live was gone. Anyhow the only thing that brought him back to the force were the not knowing what to do else...or where to go. And nothing made sense at all.
The only thing he knew for sure that it was wrong to think his father would be proud of him to do this way. Surely the old man would tell him to end up this, get out, find a girl, a safe job, a normal life.
Too good the young cop could remember the weekends and evenings, the christmas holidays or birthdays without his father, too close where the visions of his mother slowly getting desperate as she had to face her teenage-son without backup 'cause her husband had to do another shift out on the street. Too bad it was still hurting to know that he risked his life for others...that he risked their common life.
To realize that he didn't want to be like his father turned Hansons life upside down as he lost everything he believed in in the moment this came to his mind. And he was ashamed of it.
In spite of all that he hadn't expect that coming back to Jump Street would be that hard. He had wished that it would be less stressful so he had the chance to collect his mind together but with Ioki still being too hurt to go in field and Hoffs on a long deserved vacation Fuller had to put all pressure on the officers left.
It was clear that they needed help and at bottom it didn't sound so bad as the Captain told them he wanted to bring in an other female officer to get the team more balanced. Only the subject of his choice wasn't the best.
Tom knew Fuller long enough to notice quickly that he also was not really happy with Peaches, but 'cause she was a commendation of an old friend of him the Captain tried to hang on to his decision as long as possible.
Maybe it was the best to end this all right now and quit the force. But he was afraid of what came afterwords. Afraid that then nothing was left that held him up.
The whole thing was even worse when he thought about that he had to face Peaches again today. Not only one time he had asked himself why that girl managed it to make him so crazy but he didn't really found an answer. Maybe it was a mixture of less sleep and too much stress that he barely could keep control when she provocated him. Exactly the thing he had been afraid of.
Doing his time in state prison there was only one thought that made him carry on: To reach control of his live again. And now it seemed like he hadn't controll of anything at all.
Perhaps she didn't deserve his hate. Perhaps it was just the expression of his weired mind that he fought her that hard. Tom decided to try to do better.
Crude flashlights blinded her eyes as she rose up so she couldn't see anything first. Then, through the wall of light, a camera was placed right in front of her and she became aware of the voices, dark, threatning voices, telling her to lay down, stay still. There were no tears, there never had been some, just pain, fear, panic. While trying to find a way out, to get this light out of her eyes, a soft voice in the back of her head started to whisper. "Wake up, Lara! It's not real. Not real..."
Sighing the young woman got up and looked around a bit addled. Normally a person with nightmares would be expected to awake screaming, trembling, but Lara just sat there, starring out nowhere. She was used to this, actually this was the way it always went. Other people had normal dreams, she had nightmares, that was all. Nothing special.
Slowly Peaches stood up and switched out the TV. It was 4 o'clock in the morning, too early to go out, too late to go to bed so she went to the bathroom and covered her face with cold water.
When she came up again she took a deep gaze into her own eyes, trying to stare down the person she saw. Poor psychologists, they had no plan how easy it was to fool them.
Lara knew exactly that there were some things pretty worse in her mind but she was not willing to let anybody mess about with it. She had sweared to herself a long time ago to never let somebody have control of her again. Never.
The only thin standing in the way was that she sometimes didn't feel like having control of her herself.
With a slight shaking of her head she displaced the upcoming pictures of the past and tried to concentrate on the present. There were enough problems to solve without the one's attending her since so long.
She knew that she was no easy person, there were less people who could deal with her behaviour, but she knew also that she would be a good cop if she would get the chance to prove it and would not be reduced to her appereance. That would make her having an assignment in live
Captain Fuller was a intelligent man, he surly had recognized that she only needed a chance to prove herself and he gave it to her two days ago.
The only thing standing in the way was Officer Tom Hanson. Sure, Penhall also was very carefully towards her, but she knew men like him, hard on the outside, a milksop deep in. Only his partner was quite the other way.
For others Hanson must have looked like the smart, nice middle-class kid but Lara knew much better. This guy had something in his eyes she felt unconfortable with 'cause she couldn't stand his gaze. While everyone held him for a great guy she felt like it was only a mask – with a big dark personality lying behind it.
Tom Hanson wasn't a bit the positiv, straight man everybody held him for. And that reminded her too much of herself to like him.
Lost in thought Lara got herself a coffe and returned to the couch again. She had heared of what happened to the young officer, that he was prisoned for a thing he didn't do, that his girlfriend had been shot in his presence and she wondered if he also got that mess in his mind. Somehow he looked like that.
This thoughts brought her back to the situation in her own head. Tired she looked around the room, hopeing to find something that made her like feeling home but there wasn't anything.
To leave Detroit seemed to be like a new chance for her, even Paul thought that she would do better to go, but they both were wrong.
She hadn't ever felt secure with his family and she didn't feel safe now. To be true she knew that there was no place on earth where she could find a home, where she could forget about everything. It was too deep in her, too marked on her soul to get away from it, no matter where she ran.
Lara had learned to master life as a daily challenge. With time she even stopped some of the neurotic behaviour that was criticized so long on her. All this people, trying to help and to comfort her. All of them thinking they could make her fixed again, make her forget about that dark little desire in her mind. All of them not knowing her.
There was one thing left she had never been able to stopp. One little ritual she did each morning.
Casual the young woman contained her gat from the desk, opened it and abstracted all bullets except of one. Then she gave the cylinder a quick spin and then flipped it in with an easy move of her hand. She lifted the gun to her temple and pulled the trigger.
There where no shot. Again.
Rubbing his upper arms not to become cold Dough standed outside his house, looking up the street, waiting for his partner. "Partners!" he corrected himself in his mind.
Still he couldn't really see Peaches as a part of the Jumpstreet Team even if she and Hanson were the only one left beside him. This girl was though and he had to admit to himself that he liked her well as the "McQuaid" sister. But there was some things about her irritating him a lot, like that she didn't tell them where she's from or other small-talk things. At least she spoke nothing at all if it didn't had to do with the case or was in a struggle with Hanson.
Sighing Penhall displaced his thoughts as Toms Car came up the street, stalled directly in front of him. With a face showing positiv anthusiasm he throw himself into the car, yelled "HEYYYYYYYYYYY BUDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" and stopped suddenly in the middle of his movement.
Hanson checked him addled as he began to nuzzle. "What's wrong?" "You had a shower?" "Ah..yeah?" "Oh no man, you're a McQuaid! We don't take showers!" Doubtfully Tom lifted his eyebrow. "You won't tell me you didn't shower since two days?"
With a big grin his partner hoiked his left arm. "Wanna smell?" "Give me a break!" Tom answered and turned on the engine, drove off.
"So where is Sweetheart?" Dough continued. "We're going to pick her up." was the dry answer. "Ah..wouldn't it had been easier to pick her first, then me? She's living three streets away from you!" "Didn't feel like." Hanson stared streight ahead on the street, not willing to go deeper in this conversation.
Surely Penhall noticed that but disregarded it for he was really a bit sorrowed about his friend. "You don't like her mh?" "Oh...how did you find THAT out?" The look on Toms face had changed, now it was amusement. "Maybe cause you look like you want to rip her throat out every time she opens her mouth."
Penhall gained no answer, he hadn't really expect one. Since the time to prison his partner had closed himself for others...even his mother couldn't get through. Dough remembered the call she gave him last week, asking if he knew what is wrong with Tom, telling his friend didn't show no more, just answer her calls with a streight "I'm ok mum!" before hanging up.
That was not the way it used to be. Normally Tom took a lot of care about his mother.
He didn't have a chance to ask as they reached Peaches, who were lingering on a streetlight. Damn, standing there she looked like everything but not a cop. Again Dough had to add that she did pretty good as a McQuaid. She wore a short black dress over ripped tights, her long legs ending in some heavy leather boots, eyes sourrounded by black makeup that made them seem even darker then they were.
Easily she slipped on the backseat, lying her self down cross them, putting her feet on Doughs seat and placing sunglasses on her face. "Would you please leave your feets on the ground in this car?" Hanson gnarrled instead of an greeting.
"Shut up, I'm tired!" the girl answered lazy, not taking off her sunglasses or moving at all. Penhall could sense that all Tom wanted to do were to throw her out but against his speculation his partner just drove off.
So, Hanson had decided to take himself back a littlebit. That was good for the case, good for them. Dough added the question why his friend did so to the list in his head and again relly hoped he would get the chance to ask them all soon.
To break the lasting silence the young cop set up a smile and turned to Lara. "Do you know what?" "What?" "He got a shower!" Peaches face turned up to a big green too. "Really? No way!"
Boredom wasn't enough word to explain thursday's last lesson: American history with Mr. Roberts. This was one of the last teachers left at the Jeremia Highschool that really believed in teaching as an appeal. He was so much into getting the kids interested that it was awkward to watch him.
Somehow the teacher had picked one of the new kids, the three siblings, to show his clean will to educate them well.
Tom McQuait leaned on the teachers desk, chewing a gum like ever, looking dump and nearly asleep while beeing in an involunterily discussion with the ambitious teacher.
"So, Tommy, you transfered here from Ashton High, a school with a high rate of black pupils. Did you get a impression if the freeing of the slaves back in 1865 is a issue they think about?" "Don't know." Mr. Roberts flicked his tongue but was willing to do better. "You surely discussed that point with your history teacher, haven't you?" He stepped a little closer to the boy and gave him an animating smile. Tom just turned his head, starring at the teacher with a blank face. "Guess I was high that time."
Dissapointed Roberts gave a sigh as the bell rung. He didn't like to end a lesson without sucess so he ordered the class to do a work about the stuff till monday.
Slowly the kids streamed to the alleyway, getting ready for going home, preparing for the weekend. While Dough and Tom left quickly Lara waited a bit, foraging in her bag. Corey Versey decided to take the chance and walked over to her.
"Hy you!" he smiled, putting his hands in his jeanpockets. Peaches looked up and smiled back. "Hy you!" "How is it going? Settled in already?" The girl got on to back her things, then flinging the bag on her shoulder. Relaxed she leaned back on her desk, sitting on her hands.
"Hm...let's say it starts to work." "Something missing, eh?" the boy grinned. Lara gave a slight cough. "Maybe." she whispered while passing him so close that he could feel her breath on his ear.
Quickly he followed her to her locker, leaning himself beside her.
Slowly Corey took her necklace with his free hand and started to play with it. "Maybe we could meet already today after school? Having some fun...you know the thing that we would have without brothers!" he whispered right to her face. Lara opened her mouth to answer and...
was suddenly interrupted by a hand grabbing her arm hard, pulling her away from the guy. "No, thanks," Tom gnarrled to Coreys direction, "she had enough fun for today already!" The Adressed laughed out loud.
"I'm sorry, didn't know big brother is watching you! Think about it!" he gave Lara a blink and turned.
"What the hell.....?" the young female officer started to rush up and tried to free herself from Hansons grip, but where just dragged along the hallways to the toilets, where Tom opened the door and pushed her in.
"HEY!" a young boy shouted, lifting his trousers as fast as he could as he recognized a girl stumbling in. He immediatly freezed and stopped in his action as he saw WHICH girl it was and whom she was with. Even they had been here for only one day the McQuaid siblings had made their fame. "Oh,oh...I'm sorry!" the boy stuttered. "Get out!" Hanson ordered angry, then turning his attention to his partner.
Lara waited until the door was shut, then she rushed around, face full of anger. "Thank you, you just disturbed a chance to get closer to the subject!" "Shut up! What do you think you're doing out there, hugh? Fuller didn't sent us three to work on this case because it's so easy to bust Versey! Remember he maybe killed that guys? And if he did he's dangerous! No good premises for dating him!" "O c'mon, he's just another dickdriven teenager! As long as I don't let him get what he wants he'll be my puppie!"
She spit the words into his face, holding his glance for a second, then turned and switched on the water, rubbed it on her face.
Hanson was nearly to freak out. Why did that girl act like the biggest bitch on earth? She did know nothing about beeing undercover, at least she was just out fresh from the acadamy. Despite of this she accepted no advice, no order, she just did what she wanted . Tom felt like he had been looking on this too long, reminded himself to stay calm but couldn't hold back his words as they rushed out his mouth so easy.
"And then? You wanna fuck him?" while saying this he had backed up to her to see the reaction on her face in the mirror. Therefor he could see her hand coming in time as she tried to hit him and he catched it easily, pulling her against the wash-bowle.
Their breaths combined as one right in front of their faces as Tom felt something raising inside him. He felt her body against his, smelled her hair. Immediately he lost time, felt like standing beside himself watching. While his head shouted a big fat "NO!" his body reacted and he kissed her deep, intensly.
As their lips met Lara felt panic rising for a moment but was so surprised that she couldn't move at all. His weight on her, the feeling of his skin....shortly she was willing to join the kiss but then reality came back and she was able to left her rigidity.
With both hands she pushed him back as hard as she could, spit an "ASSHOLE!" to his face and ran out the room.
Slowly Tom got clear again but couldn't follow her. He stood there, starring to the mirror right where her head was before and tried to collect his mind. What the hell was that? He could only remember that he had to struggle with himself not to beat her in one second, then suddenly desired to kiss her in the next.
It was Dough that ripped him out of his catalepsy. Penhall had been looking for his partners as he saw Peaches leaving, up and away with no answer as he called her.
"Hey men, what the fuck is going on here?" he asked his partner now, recognizing that there was something wrong, but Tom didn't answer. He just gave a hard push to the mirror that broke it, shouting out lout. "DAMN IT!"