Some dialogue from this chapter borrowed from Season 3, episode 1, "Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days."
Chapter 2
"Hello? Ah! Oops, you still there? Whoever you are? Ouch!" Lorelai heard a crash, bang, and what she could swear was a sizzle from the other side of the phone.
"Sookie? Are you okay?"
"Oh, Lorelai! I'm fine. Just a minor curling iron burn," Sookie giggled as she explained. "What can I do for you, honey?"
"Are you free tonight? Wanna catch a movie, or come over my place for a slumber party?" Lorelai decided she wouldn't tell anyone what was going on until she got the official news. Tonight, she just wanted to take her mind off of the whole situation.
"Oh, I can't, I'm so sorry. Jackson's parents are in town and we have plans to go out for dinner."
"Okay, no problem."
"Believe me, I would much rather be chick-flicking with you than schmoozing the in-laws. This night is going to be torture."
"Yeah, especially if you start the night with third degree burns via your curling iron," she quipped, doing her best not to let on that anything was wrong.
Sookie giggled again. "You're right. Straight hair it is. Who am I trying to impress? I've already married the man."
"Exactly. You could go to dinner in your pajamas if you wanted, curlers still in your hair."
"Ya know, that sounds pretty appealing, actually."
"Have fun, Sookie, I'll see you tomorrow."
"See ya tomorrow, pumpkin!"
Lorelai hung up the phone but didn't put it down. She tried to think of who else she could call. Coming up empty, she finally placed the phone back on the hallway table.
Okay, fine, I'll make my own movie night. Happy movies only. She gathered her movie night snacks and drinks, popped Pippy Longstocking into the DVD player, and settled in for a night of off-the-wall hilarity. It had been a long day.
After her appointment with Dr. Landry, Lorelai went straight to Hartford Memorial. She filled out more forms than she could count, but she welcomed the mundane questions. They distracted her from the real reason she was there. She waited for an hour before the technologist in the pink scrubs called her back, but she didn't complain. As much as she wanted to get it over with, she welcomed the delay.
The mammogram tech worked in a mundane, bored fashion, until she noticed Lorelai's age.
"Have you ever had a mammogram before?" she asked.
This was the third time she answered the same question. Couldn't they write it down somewhere the first time for everyone else to see? "No, first one."
"Okay, well, my name is Jill. Stop me anytime if you have any questions." Jill was much more personable after that. A little too personable – Lorelai could tell she was trying to make this difficult situation into a manageable one. She wished she'd stop trying.
Afterwards, she just drove. What are you supposed to do after a test that has the potential to change the rest of your life? She drove for an hour, when she realized Rory would be calling home soon to check in. She knew Rory would suspect something was up if she wasn't home – she hadn't missed a call yet.
She walked in the front door just as the phone stopped ringing and the answering machine picked up.
"Mom? Are you there?"
She skidded into the hallway and picked up the phone. "Hey, babe. Sorry, I was in the bathroom. What's up?"
"Is it Friday yet?"
"Aw, you mean politicians aren't class act, entertaining people?"
Rory sighed. "It's not the politicians that are driving me nuts. I haven't slept for the past four nights. It seems like the closer we get to the end of this, the more intense Paris's nocturnal conversations become," Rory said incredulously.
"Have you ever tried talking back to her?"
"How would that help me sleep?"
"It wouldn't, but it might be entertaining."
"Gee, thanks. I'll give it a shot. So what did you do all day? I tried to call the inn earlier and they said you weren't there."
Well, crap. "What did you need me at the inn for?" She needed to stall while she thought of an excuse.
"We went out for lunch to this little street corner café. There was a woman with a tiny dog in an purple sweater driving the waiters nuts and it reminded me of the time that woman brought her Chihuahua into Luke's and insisted it was a service dog when he tried to kick them out," Rory recalled with smile.
Lorelai remembered that day. She would have sworn that the vein in Luke's forehead was going to pop. "Oh yeah? I wish I was there to see that."
"Me too. So what kind of adventures did you go on today?"
Lorelai tried to come up with something that sounded believable. She couldn't tell Rory the truth until she knew for sure, and it would have to be in person. "The past few days have been slow and I knew if I spent another eight hours staring at Michel, I'd go crazy. So I went on a little antique hunt. We've been looking for another bookcase for the reception area."
"Did you find anything?"
"Oh, I found plenty, but nothing in our price range."
"Maybe we can go hunting again after I get home. I love a good antique hunt."
"Looking forward to it."
Rory was quiet for a moment. "I miss you, Mom."
Lorelai fought hard to hold back her tears. She only partly succeeded. "I miss you too, kid."
"I gotta go. Talk to you tomorrow."
"Bye, Rory. I love you."
"Love you, too."
"It's cancer."
Dr. Landry refused to tell her over the phone, and that's how she knew it was bad news. Lorelai went in to see her after she was finished with her regularly scheduled patients. They sat together on the couch in her office. Dr. Landry kept one hand on Lorelai's arm and the other held her hand while she spoke.
"Technically, we can't say for sure that it's cancer just from the mammogram. We'll need to do a biopsy, and I'll have you talk to an oncologist to discuss that. But, Lorelai, I don't think it's fair to make you wait to hear what I'm already 99 percent sure is true."
Lorelai cried and Dr. Landry tried her best to comfort her. She left the office with the telephone number of another doctor, whom she was told to call first thing in the morning.
The next few days, all she felt was numb. She knew she should tell someone, she just wasn't sure who. She knew Rory should be one of the first to find out. Her parents, also. That would be fun. Then Sookie, Luke, Michel, Mia – maybe she'd just tell Babette and Patty and let them do the dirty work.
Friday finally came and Rory was due home any minute. Lorelai did what she does best to stay positive while waiting for her daughter to arrive – she shopped. And when she saw Rory walking down the hallway in the airport, she was ecstatic. Once Rory was decked out in her new Hartford, Connecticut gear they left the airport for home hand in hand.
"I can't believe I'm home. I feel like I've been away forever," Rory lamented as she reacquainted herself with her house.
"I agree," Lorelai said solemnly.
"Oh my god, I missed everything. My kitchen, my room, by books, my CDs, my stuff. Where's my pillow?" asked Rory after she noticed a few of her precious things were missing.
"What?" Lorelai replied incredulously.
"You took my pillow," Rory accused.
"Okay, I took your pillow." Rory thought Lorelai gave in way too easily. She usually loved a good pretend argument.
She studied her mother carefully. "Mom, is something wrong?"
Lorelai crossed her arms over her chest protectively, as if Rory could see the problem like a blinking button pinned to her shirt. "Why would you say that?"
"You were practically silent on the way home, your mood is 75 notches below baseline Lorelai Gilmore, and you admitted to stealing my pillow without an argument. Something is up."
"Nothing's up," Lorelai denied, trying to muster her most convincing smile.
Rory narrowed her eyes. "I know you're lying and I will find out why eventually."
"Fine, J. Edgar Hoover, but for now, go get all fancied up for your boyfriend. I have to go get ready for my Friday night flogging."
Sudden realization came across Rory's face. "Oh, that's right, you have to tell them about Dad tonight. Are you sure you don't want me to come?"
Lorelai had already decided that she'd tell her parents and Rory separately. Her parents would overreact and Rory would cry. She could only handle one type of reaction at a time. "No, go have one more night of fun before you get back to real life. Now hurry up, we've got to go see what Taylor's newest town festival is all about."
By the time Lorelai made it to her parents' house, she was ready to shun the word and become an invalid. Between keeping this giant secret for nearly a week and her argument with Rory over Dean and Jess, she didn't think she had the energy to deal with her parents, too.
Lorelai stood outside her parents' house and tried to muster the courage to ring the bell. This wasn't like all the other times when she just didn't want to spend the evening with Adolf and Eva. She had two big things to share with them tonight, and they weren't going to take either thing well. Deciding that it was now or never, she reached up and rang the bell.
"Lorelai, nice to see you," her mother greeted cheerfully. Emily was never cheerful, and she was about to ruin it.
"Sorry I'm late, Mom."
"Don't be sorry, that's what the warm setting was invented for," she jabbed. "Richard, Lorelai's here!" she shouted into the next room.
Now or never. Better to get it over with than leave it hanging all night. "Uhm, Mom, before we get the evening started and all, I want to tell you something."
"Well, tell me outside." Just then, her father joined them from the other room.
"I may have to take one more call tonight, Emily, Ben Stellen and I got cut off. Hello, Lorelai."
"Well come outside with us until he calls back. Lorelai's about to tell us something."
Richard smiled. "Oh, perhaps that she's decided to buy an accurate time piece." He was haughtily proud of his little joke.
Lorelai followed them both to the back patio and once they were all settled with drinks and Lorelai promised to find a way to bake the scone mix she had been gifted, she decided it was time.
"So, like I was saying before, I have something to tell you."
Her mother decided to drop the scone subject. She'd never get through to her anyway. Why couldn't she just appreciate a nice gift? "Fine, go ahead, we're listening."
Cancer or Christopher? She tossed the two around in her mind. She finally decided to go with disappointment first, then shock. "Well, it's about Christopher."
Suddenly, Emily remembered, "Oh, that reminds me, we got him a captain's hat. Richard, where is that hat? Lorelai can bring it to him."
She shook her head. "No I can't."
"Why not?"
"It's just, um, Chris and I aren't-"
"Aren't what?" her father interjected, but her mother already knew.
"They aren't together anymore Richard."
"Why not?"
"I'm sure a vague reason is forthcoming."
Her mother was right, but she was trying to avoid divulging the real reason at any cost. "It just didn't work out, that's all."
"And there it is," Emily announced, not shocked in the least. "Lorelai, this is ridiculous. The two of you aren't in high school anymore."
"I know."
"Emily, let's not talk about this," Richard interrupted, eager to move on from the ugly subject.
"Yeah, Mom, I have something else I have to tell you, too."
Her mother would have none of it. "No, we are going to talk about it. You're running around like you have no responsibility in life, like you can flit from thing to thing, from man to man."
"I do not flit from man to man!" She was ready to be done with this topic. She had more important news to share. "His girlfriend is pregnant." There, that would shut them up.
"What?"
"Sherry is pregnant, and when Christopher found out, he went back to her. And that, Mother, is the reason. Now, can we move on?"
"Are they getting married?" Why was that always the next question?
"Of course they're getting married," her father concluded.
"How do you know?"
"I know because I know Christopher, and Christopher always tries to do the right thing."
"The right thing is for him to be with his family. Lorelai and Rory are his family."
"Emily, he is going to be a father."
"He already is a father!"
"I really don't want to discuss this anymore," Lorelai tried one last time to halt the pointless conversation.
"Lorelai, you have to talk to him."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Tell him you want to get married!"
"Emily, please stop. You know that Lorelai never does anything unless she wants to, no matter the consequences to anyone else."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lorelai was shocked. Her father was always snidely rude, but never outright mean. Her parents continued to bicker back and forth. Lorelai grew tired of trying to get them to understand that she had more important news, so she set her drink down, stood up, and walked out the front door. It would take her parents another ten minutes to realize she was even gone.
When she reached Stars Hollow, she parked the Jeep in the square and walked towards the diner. The lights were off, there were no customers to be seen, but that never stopped her before.
"We're closed," said Luke without even looking up. He knew it was her by the clicking of her heels and the fact that she's the only one who ever tried to come in after closing time.
But she didn't turn around to leave. After the week she had, she knew if she couldn't even manage to get a cup of her favorite coffee, her mental breakdown would be guaranteed.
"I know," she said slowly, clearly defeated by the day she had. "I just need a cup of coffee. I'm - I'm not," she began, but she broke down anyway. Sobs wracked her exhausted body. Crocodile tears poured down her face.
Luke looked up in shock. "Lorelai-what the hell? What's wrong?" He dropped his receipts into the open cash register in front of him. It would take him an hour to sort out the jumbled mess he made, but his concern for Lorelai was too great to care. He stood awkwardly in front of her, not sure what to do. He placed both hands on either of her arms and she immediately fell into him, face buried in his neck, hands clinging to the flannel at his sides.
Luke hated when women cried in front of him because he never knew what to do. With Lorelai, it was a hundred times worse - he felt her pain like it was his own. "It's okay," he said over and over. He wrapped her up in his arms, knowing that something major had to have happened to elicit this kind of breakdown from the woman he always knew to be so strong.
When her sobs finally slowed, she pulled back, but not completely out of Luke's embrace. "I'm so sorry. You're mad at me and I drenched your shirt. This is probably the last thing you want to be doing right now, comforting the woman who made you hate her."
He stepped back and crossed his arms, clearly angered by her words. "Lorelai, I never have and never will hate you. I have a hard time forgiving sometimes, but that's it."
She looked him in the eye, pleading. "Please forgive me, Luke. You have to forgive me." She wrapped her arms around his neck. He uncrossed his arms and held her close again, giving in to her request in a moment.
"Fine, whatever, I forgive you. Is this what you're so upset about? It was just a stupid fight."
"No, there's something else. I need a cup of coffee first, and then I'll tell you."
He led her to the counter and helped her to take a seat. He filled her favorite blue mug to the top with her beloved beverage, set it on the counter, and stood in front of her, signaling that he was ready to listen.
She took a long pull from the mug, hoping for some kind of rejuvenation. What she felt instead was comfort and she suspected it came more from the man standing across from her and less from the dark liquid she was drinking.
"I haven't told anyone else yet. You'll be the first," she said with a smirk. She replaced it with a serious expression and looked down at her hands. "Did you know Rory's going to be a senior this year?"
"Yeah, I knew that," he replied, lost as to what that had to do with anything.
"She's a senior in high school and she's nine months away from graduating and going to Harvard like she's always dreamed. I've watched her work toward this goal for 18 years. I have to be around to see her get it. I hate admitting my limitations because I fancy myself wonder woman, but this time, I won't be able to hide it."
Luke couldn't remember a time when he felt more confused. "What are you talking about? Why wouldn't you be around to see Rory graduate? Are you going somewhere?"
Lorelai gave a depressed laughed. "I wish." She played with her hands, mustering the courage to say the words out loud for the first time. With a shaky breath, she said, "I have breast cancer."
When she didn't hear anything from him after a few moments, she tried to meet his eyes. She looked up to find him stating straight at her. He removed his hands from the counter in between them and crossed him arms again. "Did you hear me?"
He looked down. "I heard you." Still no reaction.
"That's the first time I've said it out loud. I was sort of expecting a different reaction," she confessed, now almost embarrassed she had told him.
Lorelai tried to get him to look at her again. He put a hand over his face, tried to scrub off the emotion, but failed. When he looked back at Lorelai, she could see the moisture covering his typically dry eyes. "Oh, Luke, I-" She stopped when he slowly moved around the counter and willingly enveloped her in the most meaningful hug she was ever the second half of.
A full minute later, he let her go. "Lorelai, I don't know what to say."
For the first time in a week, she felt real comfort. "You don't have to say anything. Just being here is all I need."
He looked at her for another moment, then remembered something she said earlier. "You will be around to see Rory graduate," he told her with conviction.
"I'm not so-"
"No, Lorelai, you will be around to see Rory graduate from high school. You will see her graduate from Harvard, you will see her travel to Istanbul or Japan or wherever the hell it is she wants to travel and you will see her become an award winning journalist."
"Luke, I-"
"This is temporary."
His simple statement shocked her. "Where did that come from?"
He said it without thinking. It was sort of like a reflex. "It's, um… It's what my dad used to say to my mom, when she-" he stopped, as a fresh batch of silent tears sprung from his eyes.
"Oh, Luke, I had no idea," she said, as she placed a hand on his arm, like he had done for her earlier.
When he got control of himself a moment later, he said "Except this time, it's true. Lorelai, this is only temporary. It's a crappy thing that's happening to you right now, but soon enough, it'll be over, like it never happened."
She felt more relaxed. Someone was on her side; someone was in this with her. She knew Luke wouldn't be the only one pulling for her, but an hour ago, she'd had her doubts. "Thank you, Luke, you have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that."
"If you need anything, let me know."
"I will. Thanks again for being so great tonight, Luke." She stood to leave, feeling no better about her situation, but a hundred times better about her outlook.
"Is there anything I can do for you tonight?"
She thought for a moment. "Donut to go? I have a kid to fill in tonight. I'm gonna need some sugar."
"Sure thing." He quickly slipped two sprinkled donuts into a to-go bag and handed it to her. "Anything else?"
"One more of those magnificent hugs?"
"You got it."