Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or any of it's characters. I only play with them.

Authors Note: I had some formatting issues last chapter, which I hope to fix with this one. I am new to the site and trying to get used to it. Bear with me. Reviews are always welcome, good or bad. Oh and just so everyone knows how to picture Secret, she looks like Megan Fox.

Also, I am currently writing this without a beta writer, one would be appreciated if anyone would like to volunteer. It always helps to have someone look over your work and help with mistakes before its out there for everyone to read.

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It didn't take much for Secret to get used to life on the farm. During the day she helped out with what Shane thought of as woman's work, laundry and cooking. Bur she didn't mind, it kept her away from him. But it bothered her that it also kept her away from Daryl. She had not seen much of him since settling in. He always seemed to be off hunting. Supplies were running low, and Secret knew they were considering a supply run. She wondered if Shane would decide to go with. If he did she would have a little bit of time to breathe easy. It was impossible to do with him around. His eyes were always on her, and he always seemed to be listening in. Even when he wasn't around he somehow knew just exactly what was going on. Today though there were no chores to be done. The entire group was gathered around enjoying a Sunday afternoon. They only knew what day it was because of Hershel, the man was religious and kept track of the days for them. And today he declared a day of rest for the two groups to enjoy a joint meal. It had been a few weeks since she had come to the group and everyone seemed to accept her, with the exception of Andrea. Secret didn't understand that, it wasn't as if Shane had actually given the other woman up.

"Ya want anything ta drink?" Maggie asked cheerfully. The young woman was often in there camp due to her relationship with the young Asian guy Glenn. And the woman always tried to befriend Secret. But Secret was not sure making friends would be a good idea. Who knew what Shane would make of it.

"I'm good." Secret spoke softly as her eyes darted around the group. Everyone was having fun, except her. She saw Shane watching and put a smile on her face. "It's kinda nice to just relax ya know?"

"Definitely, I'm happy Dad decided to go along with this." Maggie took a sip of the drink in her hand as she looked over at where her father and Glenn were talking. "He needs to lighten up some. And I think getting off our farm is a good thing." There was a sad look in her eyes. It was a look that haunted everyone, the look of loss.

"We all need to escape sometimes." Secret murmured. She saw Shane gesturing and stood up. "Shane needs me, I should probably check what for."

"You always jump the second he summons, whats up with that?" Maggie asked with a raised eyebrow. She had noticed that there seemed to be something Secret was hiding. She found that to be ironic, Secret was keeping secrets.

Maggie had never really liked Shane. What he did at the barn didn't help matters. A shiver ran down her spine as she remembered the look in his eyes that day. With a sigh she watched as Secret shook her head and scurried off to Shane's side like a pet. But her eyes were not the only ones following the slender form of Secret as she rushed across the gathering summoned by Shane. Daryl watched with a frown in place chewing on a tooth pick. Since the day he first met Secret he had felt the need to protect her. He still remembered how she had clutched his hand at the mere thought of seeing Shane again. He spit the tooth pick out as he tried to figure out what it was that was bothering him about the whole thing.

Daryl had never been one to care about some girl he didn't know. Hell his whole life he had only really cared about Merle, but Merle was gone now and he was alone. Sure Carol was sweet to him, she was like an aunt or something. But he didn't love the woman, hell he really could care less one way or the other.

But Secret, now there was a mystery. He watched her standing by Shane's side, watched the way he gripped her to his side. Daryl saw the way she glanced around every few seconds, like frightened prey. But there was still that damned smile in place. He hadn't spoken to her since Shane had swooped her away that first day. But something was different, something was off, the woman he was watching now was not the same girl he brought to camp. When they first met she had a bit of a feistyness that was no longer there. Now the woman was a bit broken.

Secret felt eyes on her and glanced around til she noticed Daryl studying her intently. Her eyes widened slightly, not sure why he was staring at her. She had noticed that him and Shane didn't seem to get along to well and she wondered if that was all there was to it. Maybe he wasn't really watching her at all. She felt Shane's hand clasp her own and tug her slightly to get her attention.

"Lori was asking if you had any ideas for baby names." Shane said with a bright tone that belied the way he was gripping her hand. She could feel her bones grinding together.

"Depends what you are trying to convey I guess." Secret managed to speak in a normal voice despite the pain she was in. It was not that hard once you got used to it. And the past two years got the young woman used to it. It surprised her how easy it was to adapt to the pain. How easy it was to lie about where the bruises came from. Now people didn't really ask, everyone was bruised up really. Just another part of the new world that they were a part of.

"Well I guess something about hope or love." Lori said while looking at Shane, not at Secret. Lori still loved Shane, still wanted to be with him. Before Rick had returned from the dead she had been happy with Shane. Sure at first they had just clung to each other due to familiarity. But somewhere along the road she fell in love with him. And she just knew he felt the same.

"Hmm...well Hope could always work." Secret said with a smile and a sigh of relief when her hand was released from the steely grip that had held it. Shane walked off leaving the pair alone, each looking after them in there own way. Secret with relief, Lori with longing. "I can try and come up with a list or something." Secret stood there flexing her hand and looking around, wishing that she could go off and interact, but terrified of the consequences.

There were a lot of things that she missed about the old world. But nothing more so than life before she had met Shane. She missed freedom and happiness. Hell she could be happy in the new world if she could just have some freedom. But she felt like she was suffocating, she felt his eyes on her. They always lingered like a shadow across her, distorting any happiness she might feel. It wasn't always that way though. Once he had been kind and romantic. Even after the abuse started he had his moments. That is what confused Secret the most, she could deal with one or the other. But when he switched back and forth she didn't know how to feel. So far only the dark side of Shane had been around.

Even in public she could see through the ruse that fooled everyone, even his best friend and ex lovers. None of them saw the real Shane. And she hoped that only the dark side of Shane stayed out. Because Secret didn't know what she would do if the romantic Shane she fell in love with returned.

"Are you OK Secret?" Lori asked concern written across her face. "You keep spacing out lately."

"I'm sorry," Secret paused thinking of an excuse. "I just keep remembering what it was like out there alone." She shuddered for emphasis.

"How did you make it alone?" Lori asked as Maggie approached the pair curious about what they were talking about. And where Maggie went Glenn was sure to follow. He was standing a couple feet away but still able to listen in.

"In the beginning I just bought whatever I could think of." Secret said looking down at her feet. "Then I hid a lot. I felt like a coward, but I was alone with only a sword that I didn't know how to use."

No one had noticed Daryl sitting a few feet away listening in intently. He had always wondered how the woman had survived. She didn't seem to have many survival skills, but somehow alone she had made it.

"Oddly enough the library I worked in was pretty much abandoned. And the few walkers around were not that hard to kill, mostly old people." Secret glanced at the group and sighed. "It wasn't easy emotionally though. But I was able to hide out in the library for awhile. But I knew that staying in the city wasn't a good idea so I hit the road." That had been the hardest part, leaving the safety of her books.

"Where did you go?" It was Glenn that spoke. Which caused Secret to jump a little. None of the males in the group other than Rick and Shane had really spoken to her much since her arrival. Shane's doing no doubt, but still to hear his voice was surprising.

"The highway, then the forest." A glance around showed looks of interest, and it helped to talk about it a bit. "I managed to sleep in abandoned cars for awhile, and scavenge them to. I saw a lot of dead walkers in the early days, not as many live ones. I was surprised, but I figure I was probably following yalls footsteps most of the way."

"Wouldn't doubt it." Lori said with a smile reaching out and squeezing the younger woman's hand.

"When I switched to the forest though, that was different." Secret fiddled with the end of her braid, not even realizing when she pulled it apart. "They seemed to be everywhere. Rarely in groups though. But I never realized how many there actually could be. And when they were in groups of three or more I just ran up a tree."

"Up a tree?" Maggie questioned. "That quick?"

"I used to be a gymnast, and I loved the bars." Secret laughed and shrugged her shoulders, "Add to that Shane used ta love taking me rock climbing. Well I say that sums up my survival skills. I am crap with a weapon." Reading about shooting and sword fighting are one thing. Actually doing it, well a completely different story.

"I can picture you in gymnastics, you have the right build for it." Maggie said brightly. At the Daryl studied Secret again. She was wearing different clothes now. Beth, Maggie's sister was about the same size as Secret and had donated a pair of dark wash jeans. They hugged the body perfectly, even if they were worn out in places. And Daryl had to admit that she looked good. The jeans were paired with a black tank top, and instead of sneakers she had on steel toe boots.

"I loved it. It was a rush." Secret was smiling brightly when she noticed Shane approaching. The smile faltered for just a second, but everyone saw it and wondered what was wrong. "But really that was what got me through. I raided when I could and spent a lot of time up a tree. That is actually where Daryl found me."

"It's a good thing he did." Shane said pressing a kiss to the side of her head, his eyes lingering on Daryl. He was the only one who noticed the man listening in and he didn't like how he always stared at Secret.

"We are all happy you are here." Lori said brightly. After all it was nice to have an old friend back, even if that friend was with the man she was kind of in love with.

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Shane was pacing back in forth in front of Secret and she wasn't sure how to react. He didn't look angry exactly, more worried and frustrated. He looked a bit unpredictable. She watched as he ran his hand across his scalp and for some reason she missed his longer hair.

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong today?" Secret asked softly taking a step closer. Even though she wasn't sure that was the best idea.

"No, no its Rick. He needs me, Andrea, Glenn and himself to go on a supply run." He said studying her for any sign of a reaction and frowning when he saw her eyes light up. "I don't want to leave you alone. Maybe I should bring you with."

"I would just get in the way Shane, you don't get it. I am useless." She said shaking her head. More than anything Secret wanted to be left behind. Going with Shane was just not an option. If she was left alone here maybe she could escape. Find a new group to team up with. There had to be other people out in the world, Secret could not believe it was only them. And anything would be better than Shane.

"I am still not sure I can leave you here darling." Shane said softly. For a second she thought he was worried about her, but then she saw the menacing look in his eyes. "I mean I have seen the way the others look at you, like your some treat to eat up. And I know it's been a long time for you, don't want you getting any bright ideas."

"What are you talking about Shane?" Secret was shaking as she tried to take a step away from him. But instead found herself pinned against the wood wall of their bedroom. Shane held her wrists above her head in a tight grasp and used his lower body to keep her pressed against the wall. "Shane, stop it please." Again with the pleading and the tears.

"I saw you clinging to him when you walked into camp all those weeks ago Secret." He said with a sneer in place. His eyes were empty, no emotion which scared her even more. "I see everything you should remember that Pet."

"I was scared he had just saved my life Shane. That's all, we didn't even talk much I swear it." She gasped in pain as his grip on her wrists tightened. Him engulfing both of them in one hand, the other lowering to her throat to grasp it lightly, not wanting to actually hurt her. She knew this game.

"I don't buy it you slut. What did you think ya would take up with the first man who came along?" He whispered into her ear before biting down painfully on the lobe, not hard enough to break skin but bad enough to make her cry out.

"No that was you." She whimpered out, knowing even as the words passed her lips that it was a mistake. He released her throat and dealt a swift punch to her stomach. She gasped in a breath fighting the urge to puke. She wasn't completely conditioned to this treatment anymore.

"What did you say?" His voice had gone emotionless, "You calling me a slut? Lori a slut?"

"If the shoe fits." Again her words came without her thinking them through. He slammed her against the wall harder and let her fall to the ground. Then he reached down and grasped her loose hair in his hand dragging her to her feet again. Her eyes watered and she bit down on her already bleeding lip. She doubted he would hit her anywhere that any one else could see. Didn't want to disrupt appearances after all. Instead he threw her into the wall again, her head hit it with a loud crack and she fell to the ground everything fading.

Shane stood there looking down at her with a frown. He knew she would awaken soon enough, he didn't throw her that hard. He hated that she made him do this. Shane never understood why she couldn't just do as he asked. She used to, before the engagement. At least that's how it seemed to him. She always had to talk back, that's why he acted the way he did. Shane just had to keep her in line. He scooped her up from the slumped position on the floor she was in and laid her gently in the bed. Shane loved her, he wanted to spend his life with her. But the damned woman just pissed him off. He leaned down and kissed her brow before leaving, sure that she had learned her lesson. Things would be better when he got back he was sure of it.

Secret woke up with her head pounding, not quite sure how long she had been out. But she was in the bed, that meant he felt bad about what happened. Great, she thought now he would try to make it up to her. That was the pattern at least. She shivered and grabbed a zip up hoodie from the closet of the room. She laughed as she looked at it, never expecting to find a Chicago Bears sweatshirt this far down south. It fit and was comfortable and reminded the woman of home so it stayed on. It took a few steadying breaths before she was ready to head downstairs and face everyone again. Now that a bunch were gone it was quieter and more subdued.

The party atmosphere was replaced with a somber one instead. Everyone knew there was a chance someone would not be coming back. It was the reality they were faced with. Secret glanced around, Lori was sitting with Carl reading a book. Secret wished she had a book of her own to read, but so far none had been found in the house. She wondered in Shane had hid them just to spite her, but thought that was ridiculous. Most likely they had been used as fuel for fires long before she turned up.

Carol was chopping up some food and Secret considered going to join her, but remembered the stories she heard about the woman's now deceased husband Ed. It would hit to close to home, so instead she went and took a seat on the porch steps just looking around. The other group had gone home and she wasn't sure where Daryl was at the moment. So she sat in solitude, something that she never had when Shane was around. She saw Lori wave her over but shook her head. Not wanting to be around the woman who loved Shane yet couldn't see the monster he was.

"Why you hiding over here alone Girlie?" Daryl asked as he plopped down beside her causing the petite woman to jump. He chuckled, she was easily startled that was for sure.

"What do you want?" Secret asked meekly not looking at him. She could not allow herself to look at him, not considering her conversation with Shane earlier. If you could really call it a conversation.

"Just making sure ya are all right." He said studying her. Daryl didn't like her just staring down at the ground, didn't like it one bit. He wanted her to argue with him like she did when she caught him stealing her supplies. "Damn woman what happened to you?"

"Nothing." Her voice was listless as she turned and looked up at him. There was no emotion in her blue eyes, a small frown graced her lips and her tongue flicked out to trace where it was cut. "I survived, just like we all are."

"Your not surviving damn it. Stupid bitch, your dying anyone can see it." He bit out angrily and saw her flinch back. Again he wondered what the hell she had been through. "Who fucked you up this bad?" He murmured mostly to himself.

"I am sure I don't know what you are talking about." She whispered standing up. "No one did anything."

"Your lying, but that's alright girlie keep your secrets." He watched as she walked over to Carl and Lori. Taking a seat at the bench beside the boy. She ruffled a hand through the youngsters hair and he was sure he heard a mention of Auntie Secret. But he couldn't be sure, guess it didn't matter. The woman was taken, not his business. But damn it he wanted her. Couldn't help it, had wanted her since she poked him in the chest those blue eyes blazing as she glared up at him.

Secret sat beside Carl and sighed. She couldn't be around Daryl, just couldn't he read her to well. And Shane already made it perfectly clear how he felt about the other man. It was best to just keep her distance. She knew that, and yet she still found her gaze wandering over to the hunter and she saw him staring right back at her.

"So Lori how are you feeling?" Secret asked trying to keep her mind off of Daryl. It would cause nothing but trouble. And more trouble was definitely not what she needed. The lingering headache and pains in her stomach reminded her of that. Shane had made sure to leave a reminder before he left. He always was good at that, her hand drifted to her side to the scar as she thought that.

"Tired, really tired." The other woman said with a sigh. "And like we need more. We are not prepared at all here." She said shaking her head. And Secret had to agree. They did not have enough supplies, the weather would be changing soon. And the last thing they needed would be to be caught unawares. Now was the time to get stocked up, so she understood the trip to town.

"This trip will help." Secret said smiling, "If you are tired go take a nap, I can keep and eye on Carl." She offered, back before the end of the world as they knew it Secret was a regular babysitter. She loved the kid and had missed him. Of all the Grimes' he was the one she loved the most.

"You sure you don't mind?" Lori asked hopefully.

"Not a problem, me and the little man need to catch up." Secret turned and smiled at Carl. "Isn't that right?"

"Ya ma, go on we'll be fine." It was obvious Carl was excited by the grin that spread across his face and the way he started to bounce in place.

"See its all good Lori, go on the baby needs the rest." Secret reassured her waving her towards the house. Lori stood with a nod and kissed Carl's head before going inside. Carol had followed right after her, leaving just Daryl on the porch watching, crossbow in hand. And the man didn't dare go inside, he was on watch after all. The only one at camp with a weapon.

"So Carl, what do you want to do?" Secret asked smiling down at the boy. It was a genuine smile, that was obvious even to the man on the porch.

"Hmm, can we just play a game? I think I saw a deck of cards we can play war or something." The boy suggested eagerly. He didn't seem to care what they did, but was more happy to have someone other than his parents pay attention to him.

"Whatever you want buddy. It's just good to have you back." Secret leaned forward and placed a kiss on the boys forehead and laughed when he rubbed it away.

"Ick Auntie Secret, that's not cool." He said with a grimace still swiping furiously at his forehead.

"I don't care if it's cool or not buddy. I missed you." She laughed again and it was a bright carefree sound that the boy joined in on.

Daryl Dixon just sat there on the porch observing the pair in awe. He always thought women were just bitches and sluts. He never expected one to actually be a real person And he sat there watching her thinking he just wanted to touch her, but knowing he couldn't. He hated Shane right then, hated him for having Secret, hated him for not noticing that she was broke, that she needed fixin. And he hated himself, cause he knew deep down that he wasn't enough for the likes of a girl like her. A librarian, smart and polished. Hell a cops fiance wouldn't want to mess with a Dixon. They were nothing but trouble, always had been. And he still heard Merle's voice whispering all the poison in his ears.