Somehow, they ended up locked in a closet together again. Only this time, the killer knew where they were and he was keeping them locked in there, either to hold them for a while, or let them eventually die of starvation, they didn't know. This particular closet had one of those solid doors that are meant for use on the outside of the house and it even came equipped with a deadbolt.
"Who needs a deadbolt on a closet?" Beckett asked in annoyance.
Castle slid down the wall to sit on the floor, his legs bent and his arms resting on his knees. His breathing sped up just a little bit. "Gun safety," he said eventually.
Kate paused in her examination of the door and glanced at him. "What?"
Rick had to think for a second, focus on the question and finally said, "Maybe a family lived here and they had guns. This was the gun closet. To keep the guns locked up and keep the kids safe." He was abstractly annoyed that he didn't sound as eloquent as usual, but right now he was just proud that he could speak at all. Most of his attention was on keeping the encroaching panic attack at bay.
"Who keeps a gun closet?" she snapped. Though Kate knew plenty of people had guns, and some of those people were actually smart about how they kept and handled those guns, she was just frustrated at the moment that they happened to encounter the one criminal who was part of both of those categories.
"I have a gun locker. It's only slightly smaller than this one. But mine is made of metal and has a combination lock on the front." Rick laughed humorlessly and added, "The lock was unnecessary apparently; Alexis figured out the combination when she was ten."
"Do you keep guns in it?" she asked archly.
"Of course."
Rick could only see the back of her head, but he had the idea she was rolling her eyes at him. "I don't even want to know why you have guns. And don't even hint to me that you have actually used them."
"Come on, Beckett," he joked, glad for the conversation that was distracting him. "When have you ever known me to refrain from buying something that I want?"
"Good point," she ceded dryly. Finally, she gave up her investigation of the door and stepped back to slide down the wall and sit beside Castle. There was just enough room for them to sit side-by-side in the small space, but their shoulders were just touching. "Looks like we'll be here for a while," Kate pointed out conversationally. Ryan and Esposito knew where Kate and Castle had been headed, but they'd gone out on their own interrogations and weren't due back for several hours.
While Kate considered their options, Castle was struggling to inhale. His throat had constricted and was making that usually simple action much more difficult. The imaginary iron bands he could feel wrapping around his chest didn't help either. When Kate had implied that they were stuck, his breath had left him and he was still trying to get it back. He was only capable of short, gasping breaths that he kept as quiet as possible in an effort to hide them from Kate. Eventually, his vision began to swim and he put his head between his knees and focused on trying to inhale.
When Rick moved beside her, Kate glanced over at him and quickly became alarmed. "Castle, are you okay?"
"Fine," he chirped. Unfortunately, there was little strength behind the claim and Kate recognized the lie.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm fine," he insisted, even as he started panting.
"Seriously, Castle, what's wrong? Are you sick?" Kate put her hand to his forehead to check for a fever, but Rick jerked away from her touch. Trying to ignore the inexplicable hurt she suddenly felt, Kate focused instead on the way her hand came away from his face feeling as cold and clammy as his forehead.
"I'm not sick," he snapped, his body heaving as he struggled to breathe. But he stilled somewhat when Kate put one small hand on his shoulder.
"Rick," she said quietly, and Castle barely heard her over the sound of his own ragged intake of breath. But his body became calm under her touch and the air seemed to come to him a little easier. "What's wrong?" she repeated quietly.
Kate felt his shoulders heave from the sigh he gave, but she thought that that was much better than the panting. She noted that the following breath did come a bit easier. But Castle didn't reply, just turned his face away from her and shook his head.
Maybe it was the dim lighting or the fact that they were locked in a closet, or maybe it was the false idea that whatever happened between them in this closet would be trapped there even after they left, just as their last encounter in a closet hadn't been mentioned again- by Rick or Kate anyway. But it made Kate feel brave where she'd never been before in regards to Castle, and it gave her the strength to... show affection.
Kate lifted her hand and gently placed it on the back of Castle's head, stroking his hair- just a little bit- as she idly noticed how soft it was. But Rick turned his head to gape at her, his eyes wide in surprise. The dim overhead light allowed Rick to see her delicate blush, and Kate lowered her gaze, but left her hand gently entangled in his hair. When she could bring herself to meet his eyes again, she gently urged, "Please tell me what's wrong."
Castle was the one to look away this time and he hung his head between his knees again, this time in shame. Kate continued to stroke his hair and tried to reassure him, "I promise I won't tell anyone else whatever you tell me."
He breathed a humorless laugh. If he had a choice of whom to tell the shameful secret he'd been hiding, it would not have been Kate. But Rick nodded his head resignedly under her touch and eventually admitted, "I'm claustrophobic."
Kate sat and stared at what she could see of his face in shock. He had to be lying; they'd been trapped in a closet a fraction- a small fraction- of this size and he'd been okay. Finally, Kate scoffed, "No you're not."
Castle finally looked at her in surprise. "Yes I am."
Confusion altered her pretty features and she reasoned, "But two months ago we were stuck in that minuscule cupboard and you were fine."
Smirking a little, he shook his head. "I'm claustrophobic, but highly distractible. And your body pressed against mine was definitely distracting. Plus, I don't think I would have survived the torment if I had hyperventilated in that itty bitty space," he added, a faraway look in his eyes.
"Wow, you are easily distractible," Kate teased finally removing her hand from his hair. He was no longer panicking and his breathing had evened out, so there was no more need for the comfort of her fingers in his hair. And the contact was starting to make her just a little bit uncomfortable when Castle had that day-dreaming-of-sex look on his face... Uncomfortable. Aroused. Same difference, in Kate's opinion, at least where Castle was concerned.
When the comfort of her touch was suddenly taken away, Rick shook his head to clear the thoughts of her body on his. "Sorry," he mumbled.
She didn't know what else to say, so she leaned back against the wall- and let her shoulder press against Castle more than was sticky necessary, even in the small space. She wanted to ask questions about his newly discovered phobia, but she also didn't want to prompt him to think about it again and therefore start another panic attack. And they had resolved their latest case the second that closet door had been closed on them, so that left out shop talk. So each sat quietly for a moment, half of the pair awkward and the other half trying to take deep, calming breaths as he chanted, "The walls are not closing on me. Everything is fine," silently to himself.
Regardless of all the calming techniques he'd learned and all the progress he'd made in the past to overcome his fears, it wasn't long before his breathing went shallow and ragged again.
"What can I do to help?" Kate asked, surprising him. She hoped to circumvent the hyperventilating she guessed was not too far away.
Rick shook his head and said, "I'm supposed to work on my breathing and try to remain calm."
Kate chuckled gently and joked, "Yeah, 'cause that's working out so well for you, so far."
Even Rick managed a shaky chuckle then.
"Seriously, Castle, what can I do to help?" she urged gently.
"Would you-" he began but thought better of his intended request. Her hand on his hair had felt so good... But he didn't know if asking her to do it again would make her uncomfortable. Instead he asked, "Would you distract me? Please?"
Kate narrowed her eyes at her partner and told him in a droll voice, "I'm not going to do that, Castle."
Rick smirked, the conversation already working to distract him, and he replied, "I meant talk to me. But it's interesting to know you considered that."
Even though she rolled her eyes, Rick noted the way her cheeks were flushing a becoming pink. "What do you want me to talk about?"
"Tell me a Beckett-in-high-school story," he asked impulsively. The riddle of who Kate had been before her mother's murder should be a distracting enough topic.
"No way Castle," she said vehemently, though she was planning to anyway. Teasing would distract him just as thoroughly as the story she impulsively decided to tell. "All of my high school stories are much too inappropriate to be repeated."
There was a spark of interest in his blue eyes, darkened in the low light, as he looked at her. "But you volunteered to distract me. And naughty-school-girl stories would definitely fit the bill."
Kate sighed dramatically- overacting a bit- and said, "Fine. But don't tell me I didn't warn you." She leaned back against the wall, her head back and her eyes closed, as she recalled the images she wished to describe. She had blatantly lied about the naughty nature of the memory.
Maybe it was because of the mental pictures and the desire to relive a fleeting moment of her youth, or maybe she simply wished to comfort Castle, but Kate reached out and took one of Rick's large hands in hers. His palm was still a little clammy and cold but it quickly heated up in her grasp as she entwined their fingers and lay their hands on the floor between their almost touching hips. The back of her hand brushed Rick's thigh and Kate thought it was the perfect backdrop for the story she was about to tell.
"When I was in high school," she began quietly. "I was known by my friends to be a tease. I loved to make naughty jokes and frequent innuendoes. My friends all learned not to say the words 'come,' 'hard,' or 'get off' around me- no matter how innocently used, unless they wanted me to giggle and make a joke about it. But even though I talked about it a lot, I never let any guy get that close to me. Until I met Carter." She paused and relived the moment, the giddiness inherent in a first crush, the joy when she discovered her feelings were returned. The excitement of a first kiss, and then the devastation when it all ended.
Castle must have sensed the story didn't have a happy ending because his thumb began sweeping comfortingly across the back of her hand. Or maybe he just noticed the silky texture of her skin and the way his thumb stroked against her thigh when it moved.
"He was new, and he was beautiful and I fell in love with him just as quickly as all the other girls in school did. But he found out I was a- I was popular, and when he chose me, I was so thrilled, I couldn't eat for three days, my stomach was in constant, excited knots. He had a car too, so we didn't even need parents to drop up off or pick us up, we just went. We parked along the beach one night and just watched the waves for a long time. I was so nervous because I knew I was finally going to let him kiss me. So I went willingly when he suggested we move to the back seat. It was my first kiss and it was... Looking back now, it was really bad. But at the time, I thought my heart would dance its way right out of my chest. He kept trying to put his hand between my legs and when I kept moving it, he started getting angry."
"Oh Kate, he didn't..." Castle trailed off in horror, unable to even complete such an evil thought, not wanting something that vile to have touched Kate.
"No," she shook her head, but didn't sound any happier. "He didn't force me, and I didn't sleep with him, but that didn't stop him from telling everyone that I did when we went back to school on Monday."
"I'm so sorry, Katie," Rick said softly. He hadn't meant to call her Katie, but as she told her story and he thought of her as a young girl, it just felt right. She smiled in thanks, but said nothing. So Castle wondered aloud, "Why did you tell me that story though?"
Kate looked away, stared off at nothing and though for a second. "Carter made me learn to be cautious," she finally said. "He taught me to be wary and very selective of whom I opened myself up to. I guess I just wanted you to understand why..." Kate trailed off but they both knew. Kate was explaining to Castle why she'd always been so unwilling to just jump into bed with him, and why she was so protective of her personal life. Making oneself too vulnerable, too soon only led to getting hurt.
Castle squeezed her hand, equal parts comfort and thank you for telling her story- for opening up to him just a little bit. But twelve-year-old-Castle couldn't be reigned in forever, so he offered a cheeky grin and asked, "Wanna hear the story of how I lost my virginity?"
"No!" she snapped.
"Wanna tell me the story of how you lost yours?"
Kate's free hand suddenly swung around and slapped at his shoulder in lieu of a reply.
Rubbing at his shoulder in mock pain, Rick was still chuckling nonetheless.
"Besides, I already know how you lost your virginity," Kate said conversationally, shocking him.
"What? How! Did my mother tell you?" He began to glower over that last thought.
But Kate laughed and said, "No. But I did read 'Death of a Prom Queen.' That flashback scene was way too detailed to have been borne purely of your imagination, overactive though it may be."
Unperturbed by getting caught, Rick grinned. "Picked up on that, did you?"
Kate just smiled and butted her shoulder playfully against his- as much as she could in the cramped space.
But it was an ill advised move on her part because Rick was forcefully reminded- not that he'd ever forgotten entirely- that they were stuck- locked- in a tiny closet. When Kate had bumped him, his body had been squeezed between her and the wall, with no space even to move to the side. The room felt even smaller than it did a moment ago and Castle had to lean forward, away from Kate's pressing shoulder, so he could take a deep breath. Though his head was between his knees again, it was reassuring to feel his shoulders expand when he inhaled deeply, without bumping Kate or wall this time. It also helped that Kate's perfume was heavy in the air- the cherry scent of her that calmed him further.
"The guys should be here soon," she offered helpfully.
But Rick knew better. "No they won't. They were supposed to have left an hour ago, but knowing them, they probably dawdled a bit before they left. And it's a two hour road trip each way."
"Okay, so they'll be here in-" Kate checked her father's watch- "three and a half hours. I'm sorry, I'm not really helping, am I?" Kate finally removed her hand from his grasp and put it on the back of his head, once again stroking his hair soothingly.
Rick sighed heavily and Kate had no way of knowing he'd also closed his eyes in pleasure. "No, you're helping," he told her quietly. "More than you know."
"Good," she said simply.
Even though he claimed she was helping, and he did seem to be enjoying her hand in his hair, Kate could still feel the tension in his body. So eventually, she scooted around to lean against the side wall, folded her legs to sit "Indian style" and then pulled Castle sideways. When he glanced at her in question, she told him, "Lay down."
When he obeyed, she guided his head to rest in her lap and she continued stroking his hair, much like a cat- at least that's how she rationalized it. Eventually, she grew bold and trailed her fingertips over his face, starting at his forehead then sweeping down to his ear and back over his hair. She caressed his cheek sometimes too, or gently dragged her nails up his neck. It wasn't long at all before she could hear his even breathing. Castle had fallen asleep, curled up on her lap, his big body bent uncomfortably in the small space. So Kate decided to take a nap too. She leaned to one side, put her head against the back wall, and closed her eyes, the warm comfort of Castle and the rhythmic sound of his breathing quickly lulling her to sleep.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Hey," Detective Ryan asked hesitantly, turning to look at his partner in the driver's seat. "You ever get the feeling that you're supposed to be somewhere? Like someone needs you to go to them?"
"What, you mean like Woman's intuition?" Detective Esposito replied sarcastically and then scoffed. "Nah man, I don't even have a feminine side, or so Lanie keeps complaining."
Ryan was glaring at his partner by now, annoyed that he wasn't being taken seriously. Yet again. "Never mind," he snapped.
But the feeling the he should have gone with Beckett and Castle refused to leave him, so he sent Beckett a quick text.