Blood is thicker than Water

Chapter 2: Around the merry-go-round

"Look, I told you can't remember anything else. I was walking in the forest, following the road and found this town and I was looking for something, something really important. Everything ends there," I insisted with no slight amount of irritation at their questions. I resisted the urge to stomp my feet petulantly just to get my point across. The chief gave me a skeptic glance over his reports for the umpteenth time. We went over this same, short story for hours now without any deviations, but he wouldn't rest. He might not think I was lying, but he knew that there was more truth than what he heard.

I had him trapped in believing me a poor victim, though. I was a good liar if I could give myself a pat on the back, much better than most people. Well, Subaru was even better at fooling others when he wanted to so at least I didn't have to worry about him while we were apart. Usually it was Subaru who did the worrying.

"Let's call it a day. Maybe things will come back to you after you rest up in a proper bed. But before that, I'll have to have you get a physical at the hospital," the chief said. He didn't mention the mental examination that would accompany it. My only choice was to consent, so I nodded and obediently followed him to the car parked outside the station. The sky had turned dark with night, the town a grey ghostly thing with irregular dots of light. The downpour had turned into a gentle mist that created tiny clear droplets against the glass. I slipped into the back seat and huddled in the corner as the chief turned on the radio.

The music suited the first impression I had of him- a well-intentioned person with a tendency to distractions. Given the irrelevant questions he asked me about myself- like my likes and dislikes- he was a family-oriented person. When he hit a (nonexistent) nerve he apologized and shifted topic. The consideration was a change from the cutthroat lives we'd been leading up until now where no one cared for anyone if the results weren't beneficial.

The car chugged through the streets until it came upon a whitewashed building, rather small for a hospital I suppose. The emergency room was almost silent. I didn't like hospitals, even if this one wasn't very threatening and hardly had any staff on hand. Hospitals were too thorough and recorded every action, every breath and sigh. Despite their intentions I was always paranoid because those inquiries eventually led to curiosity about why we had no relatives and why the government didn't have us on record. At least the amnesia card allowed me to bypass that this time. No amount of lies could cover up a nonexistent gunshot wound and bloodied clothes.

Doubt planted a seed in my mind when the doctor assigned to me slid into view. He was young and his lips were curved into a graceful, harmless smile. Sometimes those innocent gestures were the most important, the deadliest. Hospitals were places of death and temporary promise of hope filled with pain and suffering. Though the outside world was similar and one in the same, people made hospitals to contain the worst of it. No one had a right to be so unaffected in such an atmosphere. His eyes told the truth- and I was afraid that he would see through my lies with that piercing gaze of someone much older than his years.

I wanted to scowl, to erect a barrier between us, but figured that 'Alice' had no reason to dislike the man. Subaru never made such ugly expressions. Sometimes he'd twitch into a thoughtful, neutral face or gain a slight look of disapproval. But mostly he looked like that doctor. They called him Carlisle Cullen- both a simple and complex name. I wanted to know which he lived up to but didn't ask. It was too early to have the doctors think I was insane. I could wait until the mental exam, at least, to release those urges.

The doctor preformed all the normal procedures while he idly chattered about recent events. Okay, maybe he was a little more refined than that, but after he poked and prodded me in every place no one had a right to touch (except for him) I was not exactly happy. The fact that he all but ignored the area where there should have been a huge wound didn't help. All he did was brush a cold hand over the bare skin there for a moment as he pulled away the stethoscope and gave me a smile I didn't return. He even tossed the bloody coat away without a word, but I caught a glimpse of that mask of porcelain cracking just as he turned.

He didn't bother asking questions when he found signs of sexual assault or when the scale revealed an apparently underweight body. He only asked if I wanted any food or drink and while the police had given me tea, I supposed normal people needed food too. After wandering the forest for a day anyone would be starving. Not that I wasn't hungry, but solid food would only dull the pains temporarily. The tray the doctor delivered into my lap wasn't even remotely appetizing- a large bowl of chicken broth and wilted vegetables, applesauce and Jell-O. A moment later he passed me a bottle of water and that apparently was my dinner.

At the face I made he said, "Sorry about the food. Most of the staff has gone home today so that's all there is. It's perfectly edible, if a little distasteful." I nodded skeptically and eyed the tray. The chicken broth was too salty and the vegetables tasted and smelled of something foul. I almost spat the gelatin up, the slippery mush tasting nothing like strawberries. I could eat the applesauce but couldn't say I loved it, and returned to the soup just because. While I picked and nibbled at 'dinner' the doctor checked on the blood samples. I hadn't been thrilled about that needle to make an understatement.

It had been necessary, but I was curious to see if any traces of the alcohol and drugs remained. We didn't have a normal circulatory system and definitely never allowed anyone to examine us too closely. An entire day elapsed since then, but that didn't mean anything. Sometimes human technology worked magic. And if the drugs had remained in my bloodstream, I supposed that 'Alice' wouldn't have remembered in the first place. And Alice was the victim after all, and the man was a disgusting rodent, never mind the unusual way in which he'd been killed.

The doctor reentered the room with a manila folder containing a few papers stacked neatly inside. As he flipped through the contents I peered over the edge and scowled to see English letters written in his messy scrawl. I didn't prefer that system but couldn't say that I didn't read it well. He slipped me a copy, not that any of those medical terms made sense- they might as well have been a different language altogether.

"And you're sure you don't remember anything that happened before you came here?" he asked, taking a seat before the examination table. I shook my head and handed him his paper since I didn't understand most of it anyways. I suppose it was just courtesy to show me the reports about my own body even though he was about to explain it in simple English. To my surprise he skipped over the things I thought normal doctors asked normal patients. Instead he started with, "There were traces of alcohol in your blood. Since you couldn't have gotten any in the forest, there must have been quite a lot for it to still be there. You were also given high dosages of Ketamine. Do you know what that is?"

"No," I said. I'd never worried about such a thing before. If it weren't for the circumstances, I would have never allowed it to happen.

"It's a date rape drug, which is self-explanatory, no? Is there any chance you were in the town near here before, at a bar perhaps? Think hard on that please. Maybe we can find the person who assaulted you." The Dr. Cullen's words sounded sincere enough but I couldn't be sure, because 'Alice' wasn't supposed to remember anything. "It may be a bit out of protocol, but would it be alright if you came home with me? My boss wants me to take some time off since I've been working long shifts recently. Charlie Swan already gave me the okay- he'll pick you up after his shift. I'm afraid the station doesn't make the best living quarters. So what do you say?"

"…Alright…" I said reluctantly. The other option was to wander around the waiting room in the hospital and if the opportunity presented itself, I wanted out. No more talk about drugs and rape- it made me think of Subaru. Though, even he would probably hesitate before accepting such a suspicious offer. I wasn't quite sure what 'Alice' would have done except trust these people. And the doctor wasn't all smiles and sunshine- or at least, he shouldn't be. He didn't look like someone who'd pulled so many all-nighters and long shifts that his boss ordered him off work. Then again, I didn't look like I'd just walked from one town to the next either.

The doctor saw that, too. His eyes were strange. They were eyes that saw through the false layers of my own, through all the lies I'd ever told and all the sins I'd ever committed. He hardly needed to question me at all. A sudden, peculiar idea came to mind then, the result of having seen many strange occurrences and powers as we traversed dimensions. Maybe the doctor had a method to find the truth if he wasn't capable himself. Maybe that was why he needed me out of the hospital, why he was breaking protocol. Everything had suddenly gotten a lot more serious.

Maybe 'Alice' didn't have to be a simple alias. If I was Alice there would be nothing to hide from the doctor, no truths to see behind my eyes. It was easy enough to formulate a person from my mind- a person similar to Subaru, the other half of myself. A person so similar to my twin wasn't hard to deal with. Alice could be useful- poor confused, abused Alice.

The doctor's infuriating smile didn't fade as he excused himself from the room. He had the police to inform and a shift to change. I remained on the exam table breathing deeply for a few moments. It was time to say 'good-night' to myself for a little while. Alice could handle the rest. Truthfully, I thought that I'd still be there, like how Subaru lingered no matter how many miles separated us. Alice's muddled mind of mixed memories and empty spaces was sure to cover the remains of my presence in case anyone tried some head-probing.

"…Alice, was it…? Come, it's time to go," the doctor called from down the hall. I- no, Alice, slid down from the metal table and followed the man through the pristine white walls in a hallway that smelled too strongly of cleaners. It was a scent that washed away blood and death alike and stung if he inhaled too deeply. Outside the humidity and dampness from the rain made him sigh in relief. He rubbed his nose with the side of his hand trying to remove the sting, happy for the dull smell of earth.

The shiny silver car that poked out of the blackness was too new for the dreadful weather. He must have made good money, not that Alice really knew how to use it or how much the vehicle was worth. He was a little hesitant to sit on the leather seats with his muddy boots and rain-dampened clothes. The shoes were beyond saving and encrusted with grime from the forest floor. It was strange. Alice didn't feel as if he'd walked the whole way here.

"You know," the doctor mused as they pulled out of the hospital and onto an almost empty road surrounded by tall, dark trees. "I have a daughter named Alice. She's a nice girl, very outgoing and happy. Do you have a reason for choosing the name Alice? Maybe you read that story, Alice in Wonderland as a child?"

"I didn't choose my name!" Alice said frantically even before the doctor finished talking. If he hadn't been paranoid about wrecking the car he would have jumped forward. The doctor was wrong, had to be wrong. His identity wasn't mistaken; he wasn't a lie. Maybe he hardly remembered anything, but those things he did remember were real. His mind was already so lost in a past he couldn't remember, a past he did not feel he wanted to remember. He didn't want to lose his name and purpose, however vague, too. "I'm not lying, I swear! Why would I lie about that?"

"Calm down; I didn't mean to offend you," the doctor smiled, as if something so simple could wash all his worries away. Alice did relax a little but the desperation itched beneath his skin. The doctor was nice and considerate, so he owed it to the man to withhold another tantrum. He stared out the window instead, but could barely make out the line of trees along the darkened road. Eventually he gave up and watched the man's blond hair rustle with the gentle air conditioning. He so desperately wanted to find what he was missing that his muscles twitched in anticipation and he could hardly focus on a single object for a minute.

The car continued along until the smooth road gave way to earth, the patter of rain muted amongst the treetops. The doctor must have liked his privacy to build a house so far away from everyone else. They came upon a rich house some minutes later- a tall building that stood out in stark contrast to the forest surrounding it. It was white against dark greens and shadows, a stately presence where wild things reigned. Golden blankets peeked out from behind curtains, but after a few meters the light faded away into darkness. As they walked up to the door he saw the heavy rain fall through triangles of gold.

The doctor ushered him into his home where the man's family stood waiting for them. He noted with curiosity that they all had that same strange gleam to their eyes despite the difference in colors- except for one girl with plain features. Alice supposed that he was decently pretty himself, a willowy form that was probably more pleasing to the eye with some sleep and proper clothes. For that reason he hadn't noticed how extraordinarily different these people looked until he compared them with that girl.

The doctor seemed to have stopped to introduce them and nothing more. After an awkward moment the family dispersed and the doctor tugged him in the direction of the stairs- to his office, he'd said. He motioned for a boy with the plain girl on his arm to follow and proceeded up the staircase with the gate of a rested person. If Alice looked closely, he noticed that the man hardly looked tired at all. If he had been working long shifts before tonight, Alice wouldn't want to bother him with details about a past he couldn't remember.

"Are you tired, doctor? It won't matter if you ask now or later, I still can't remember anything…" Alice trailed off when all three either chuckled or smiled in amusement.

"I'm quite fine, really, my boss just worries. Not much happens in this town so I admit, I'm a little curious. About you, I mean," the doctor said. Alice frowned; he didn't like to be thought of as an interesting lab rat. Was he supposed to be flattered? "Ah, you don't need to call me doctor, you know. It's not my name after all and we're not in the hospital anymore. Carlisle is fine."

The doctor- Carlisle's office was quaint and contained the warm, comforting scent of old books and paper. Strange as the smell was, Alice couldn't say that he disliked it. Carlisle ushered him into a seat before the desk while his son and his girlfriend stood slightly off to the side. Alice didn't want to stare, but he wondered what they were here for. He didn't think he was that interesting. Carlisle introduced his son as Edward and his girlfriend as Bella. They were bland names, Alice thought, unlike Carlisle's.

"Alice, do you have a surname? Can you remember that?" Carlisle asked. Alice shook his head, a little frustrated that he kept on asking when his answer was always the same. The doctor just nodded acceptingly and folded his hands on the wooden surface beneath him. "Please close your eyes and think very hard while listening to my voice. You were walking in the forest looking for something. Where are your family and friends? Are they behind you? Or are they the ones you're looking for?"

Alice peeled his eyes opened after a fruitless minutes. He tried to recall something before the forest, but there was blackness wherever he went. Before he could wrap his hands around that thing he needed to find it escaped from his grasp. He didn't want to find anything else. "I don't remember. If it's not what I'm looking for, family doesn't matter. And I don't think I'm looking for my family. But I can't think of what it is."

Carlisle leaned back with a contemplative face and a worried creased between his brows. Family was important to normal people, apparently. It had never occurred to Alice that he might have a mother and father waiting for him, concerned about where their son went. He had to have parents somewhere in the world. Carlisle sighed and said, "It might slowly come back to you as you see and experience familiar things. Beyond that, I can't help you without some other clue."

Alice shrugged helplessly. He'd tried and failed. He didn't even want the doctor's help, especially since the doctor was more interested in finding out about his past than the thing he was searching for. The present was what mattered. "I'd be fine looking alone, but I don't like the rain…and I'd get tired with no place to rest."

""Hey…are you looking for an object, a person, or an ideal?" the boy, Edward, suddenly asked. The expression on his face was unreadable. Alice frowned and glanced at him. "Are you looking for information?"

"I'm…not sure," Alice said slowly, leaning back into the chair and concentrating. He mused, as if to himself. "It's not…an object I think…It feels more urgent, more intimate than that, like someone important to me. But I don't remember having anyone important to me. It's intimate as if it's a piece of me, but not another person. I…I want answers. I don't know what I want. I don't know where I came from."

"Answers…don't we all want them?" Carlisle said in an amused voice. This mystery had drawn him in as well. There was so little information to base their opinions on, all from the unreliable memory of an amnesiac nineteen year old. He signed and stood, wrapping the conversation up with a wave of a hand. "Well, Alice, it's getting late and I'm sure you're tired. Bella's father is Charlie Swan; she'll take you there for the night. Listen, if you have any dreams write them down as soon as you wake, alright? If not you'll lose them. Dreams can tell a lot, believe it or not. If evolution hasn't gotten rid of something so simple, it must have a purpose."

Alice nodded obediently, but he wasn't very eager to fall asleep now that the doctor had reminded him of dreaming. If something bad had happened in the past, he didn't want to remember it, the doctor's charming smiles be damned.

Edward and Bella said their goodbyes while Alice waited outside shivering at the considerable cold and in the shadow of the groaning tree limbs. The night had fogged over with the moon a weak silver light behind dark clouds. The scene somehow irked him and he wished that the doctor hadn't thrown away his cape. He was ever grateful when Bella had finished talking to her boyfriend so he didn't have to freeze in the thin shirt and sweatpants the police gave him. The truck she drove was a dingy thing with a temperamental heating system but at least there wasn't any wind.

There were two seats inside the truck and a narrow back row filled with random items. Despite the distance between them, Bella didn't talk as her car rumbled and sputtered away from the house. She seemed preoccupied with her own thoughts, hands resting comfortably on the wheel until she took a moment to glance at him. Alice inwardly shivered at her stare. It was as if she'd never seen him before and was wondering what he was doing next to her. The truck shuddered off course for the brief moment he'd distracted her. After she straightened the vehicle, she didn't spare him another glance. Apparently driving didn't come smoothly for everyone, though Alice wouldn't know.

"You don't look like an Alice, you know that," Bella said eventually. Alice bit his bottom lip, wanting to spit that she was rather plain looking herself. But he figured that it wasn't a wise idea since her father was the chief who'd been so kind as to let him stay in his house without charge. The little town either didn't have a hotel or they wanted to keep a close eye on him. Either way, as long as he was warm and had a place to sleep Alice would be content.

"Yeah, I've gotten that often," Alice grumbled just to break the silence. No one seemed to believe that he was Alice just because it was a girl's name. He didn't think he was very girly, just tall and too thin for his limbs, and maybe pleasant to look at and not overly masculine. But he wasn't pretty like a girl. It wasn't the same thing.

The truck broke into a residential area with neat houses tucked in across the street from each other, all surrounded by the swaying shadows of trees. In comparison to the house in the forest, Bella's was small and plain. He didn't mention anything as she killed the engine and they entered the door. The chief dressed in casual clothes sat just inside the doorway watching television on a weathered couch. A crackled voice talking rapidly came from the box, tiny figures moving about the screen. Alice didn't have time to examine it before the man turned it off upon realizing they were there. The girl moved to what must have been the kitchen after a brief greeting.

Charlie swung himself off the couch and waved him inside with a nervous excitement, as if afraid he was doing something wrong. Alice decided that even though this place was considerably less elegant than the house in the forest, it felt more like a home, even if he didn't quite know what a home was made of. Instead of a cold reception he received one that spoke of concern, even if he was a stranger. He couldn't help but return the man's shaky smiles.

"You'll have to sleep on the couch, if that's okay. Bella's in the guest room and as you can tell, our house isn't very big." Charlie chuckled apologetically as he hurried down the stairs, arms full with bedding. Alice curiously trailed after him into the living room and watched as he tossed blankets and sheets and a pillow over the worn fabric couch. He reassured the man that the sleeping arrangements were alright, and he was grateful that he didn't have to sleep outside in the rain. The couch was comfortable enough when he took a seat while Bella got a dinner together.

That night Alice discovered that he was either allergic to most foods or a severe picky eater when halfway through the meal he experienced the sudden urge to vomit. After a hasty trip to the bathroom he excused himself and curled up on the couch. He nestled himself against the pillow and fluffy blankets in the corner, relaxed and warm enough for the nasty sensations to pass. He did have trouble finding room for his long legs though. Charlie, feeling guilty, offered him medicine that he politely declined. He wondered faintly how he'd managed to eat that Jell-O in the hospital.

The comfort and security must have lulled him to sleep because he heard Charlie through a blanket of black and emerged with heavy eyelids and a loose mouth. The man was in an armchair not far away. Seeing as his words had flown right over Alice's head, he repeated, "Can I talk to you?" Alice nodded in response, but he was still restless from the dreams he'd just emerged from. Unlike his original thoughts, they hadn't been nightmares, but he wasn't sure that he had words to describe them either. Either way, a few more weird questions wouldn't hurt the headache these mysteries were starting to give him. The frustration was draining him emotionally.

"We asked around the town nearby. Of course, everyone there is so drunk they wouldn't remember their own mothers if they saw them, but one place said something interesting. A regular customer seems to have been killed there just last night, though they weren't happy to admit it. Don't know why, since they already reported it…Well, no one remembered seeing you, but forensics is on it… mind you, we don't have the best team in the country, but I'm thinking we can find out what happened to you pretty soon."

"W-what's the point in telling me this? It's happened already, does…does it really matter that much?" Alice said quietly, his pretty face twisted as if in physical pain. He wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his face against the pillow. Truthfully, there were memories behind the forest now- flashes of bright lights and crowds and many things Alice did not want to touch. The chief was nice, but he didn't like how the man was prying in his affairs.

"Well, sometimes the past can help," Charlie shrugged. He reclined against the couch and watched the game for a few moments, silent even when a team scored a point. "Besides, it's our job to catch rapists and murderers. It may not concern you personally, but it concerns the law."

"Are you saying I killed that man?" Alice exclaimed, his head shooting up almost painfully at the apparent accusation. He wasn't stupid or a coward. He knew what had happened to him; some of the memories were even beginning to resurface. Yes, he had been raped, but the possibility that he killed someone was unimaginable. He didn't have that drive and hatred necessary, not even if someone hurt him that badly. Alice stared at his long, pale hands as they trembled in his lap, stained with imaginary blood. "I'm not a murderer. I'm not a monster. What happened? I-I want to remember."

"I thought you didn't want to know about the past?" Charlie asked, confused. Alice shivered despite the warmth and as he pushed himself off the couch. One hand steadied his trembling body against the armrest, the other grasped at the silver pendants around his neck. They both contained that deep sense of intimacy he sought after and he clung to this newfound progress until his hand ached. The chief rose too, "Are you okay?" he asked.

Alice looked up at the man with wide, bewildered eyes that wavered between fight and flight. One moment they flashed with fright and the innate instinct to flee before harm could come to him. Another moment they glowed with the dangerous clarity of a creature ready to fight its way through to freedom. He shook his head rapidly and backed up a few steps at a time. "I don't know, I don't know," he muttered feverishly. Charlie made to catch him as he tripped over a spare show, but if anything the gesture made that wariness increase.

"Look, it was an accident, wasn't it? You didn't mean to kill that man, if you even killed him at all. That's manslaughter and self-defense to top it off. He was hurting you- it was only an accident because of that, wasn't it?" The chief spoke slowly, as if that would calm Alice's nerves and fears. He didn't know much about the law, only that killing someone was very bad and because he couldn't remember there was a possibility that he had killed the man and it wasn't an accident. He nervously asked Charlie how the man died. "It doesn't matter. Someone stabbed him with a thin weapon five times, if you have to know. Don't you worry, it'll be fine."

Alice had a strange feeling that nothing in his life went well, even if he couldn't remember any of it. The doctor was supposed to help but he left Alice more confused than before. Now he was a murderer and the crime sounded less and less like an accident the more he wondered about it.

He shook his head once before he bolted, quicker than the chief and more agile too. The man's shouts soon faded as he rounded the corner of the house and darted into the deep expanse of forest. The underbrush was a tangled, difficult mess to navigate and he wondered how he'd managed to find the town in the first place. The canopy loomed above his head, whistling and shuffling as the occasional pine needles drifted down. Thankfully, the rain had lightened to a soft drizzle lacking the strength necessary to penetrate the branches.

His bare feet sank into the ground and tossed up bits of mud as he ran, the cold numbing his toes. All sounds of human life had faded away. There was the occasional rustle of some animal in the distant treetops or beneath the undergrowth, but the entire time Alice saw no other signs of life. He eventually slowed when his lungs began to ache and his head pounded from his earlier sickness at dinner.

No matter how much he wanted to rid himself of his past it kept returning to haunt him. One minute he wanted nothing to do with it, the next he wanted all the answers. That dream had reminded him of the terrifying truth- that running away only delayed the inevitable. The details were sketchy, but the emotions the images left him with struck unforgettable scars into his mind. The creatures in his dream had those same eyes as the doctor and his family. They were ageless eyes that saw far deeper into a person's soul than any being had the right to. There had to be a connection between them, something Alice was ignoring or overlooking.

The near absolute silence surrounding him said it was impossible for anyone to be following him without his notice, but he had that prickly feeling that someone was at his heels. He pressed his damp back against a tree and the sensation faded into a different sort of paranoia. The dream had been the same way. It was him and that person thing cornered with those creatures swarming around. Alice didn't understand what they were shouting; he was left with a torn feeling of despair and loneliness and behind that- hope.

"Turn back," I whispered. Alice was misinterpreting everything; this town held all the answers we needed. He couldn't run away from everything that displeased him! This was our chance at understanding what those creatures wanted of me and Subaru. I had to find him; time was running thin. If we didn't get away from this place soon that man would probably find us. I refused to let Subaru get hurt again.

"I-I can't! Turning back does nothing- the past can't do anything!" Alice retorted aloud. His voice was high pitched and panicked. He didn't wonder about the origin of the voice.

"I'm your past; I can help you. Maybe that's true sometimes, but it's very important right now, whether you want to believe it or not. The doctor and his family know the truth, I'm sure of it. I can't be in their presence; only you can do it. It's your unknowing and innocence that lets you do what I can't. Now go back, talk to the doctor again. Tell him about that dream. I'm always here, you know, even if you can't hear me. Stay safe," I said. Alice hesitated, nails scraping against the rough tree bark and gorging shallow cuts into the surface without his knowledge. Just as I knew he would, he pushed away and headed back the way he came after a few agonizing minutes.

Alice emerged from the forest after a bit of difficulty, still conflicted and half unaware of what had just taken place. Whoever that voice was, it sounded just like him. Maybe it was that person he was searching for- but if so, then why did he still have that empty space in his chest? When he disappeared he'd taken their conversation with him, leaving Alice with only a faint sense of his purpose. He instilled in him that he could not run away anymore and that what he sought was somewhere in this rainy little town.

"Didn't I tell you it'd be alright?" Charlie Swan told him when he'd found his way back to the house with the help of the police station. Alice smiled weakly and nodded, hands clasped before him apologetically. The man seemed to have been a little worried over him.

"I'm sorry…I just needed some time to myself. Listen, can I take a shower?" Alice said, tugging disdainfully at his damp, dirtied clothes. It was certainly better than wearing a blood-encrusted shirt with rips and mud and debris clinging to it, but not pleasant in the least. "Can I have some clothes while I'm at it? I bet I smell really bad…"

Charlie chuckled and showed him upstairs, telling him to take his time. He seemed undecided about whether he should give Alice his own clothes, which were ten sizes too big, or his daughter's girl clothes. Alice thanked him either way and enjoyed feeling clean again, though that faint trace of blood on his hands didn't go away. He rubbed them with a white towel but no color bled onto the clean surface so he figured it was just in his head. Maybe he was going crazy or something.

Charlie seemed to think that because Alice had a girl's name he wouldn't mind wearing his daughter's clothing. Though Alice was taller than the girl, somehow the loose sweatpants and neutral shirt fit, not that he could really complain. Besides the loose clothes the police gave him, he had no other outfits. His old pair had been too far beyond repair to save.

That night Alice discovered that Charlie Swan was an avid fan of sports. The man retired to the armchair in front of the television with a beer while Alice tried to sleep again. With all the noise and the chief's cheering and outraged shouts he couldn't shut his eyes for more than five minutes and ended up watching guys tackle and dog-pile each other well into the morning. He didn't see the merit in it, nor could he keep track of the score. It wasn't a completely unwelcome distraction though, because Alice didn't want to have anymore nightmares about strange creatures chasing him in the middle of a moonless night.

When he did fall asleep his dreams were blissfully peaceful- snippets of quiet, pretty lulls in a life he supposed must have been his own with someone muttering little words of comfortable nothings. He wondered if that voice that sounded so familiar to him was the cause of it, but couldn't remember anything of it when morning came, anything except-

"Subaru," I whispered. I missed him. He missed me too, somewhere, wherever he was.

Who's Subaru? Alice wondered faintly. Was he the person in his dreams- the one he was searching for, the one that had disappeared?

In the morning, Alice requested one thing of Charlie Swan and his daughter.

"I want to talk to Doctor Cullen again, about a dream I had last night. I think it's important."

• When the first person point of view is used, Kamui from the first chapter is talking. 'Alice' is a split personality of sorts that he created in order to forget the past and face the future. Kamui and Alice are both separate entities, thus the strange points of view. Kamui knew something was off with the Cullen's by their eyes, obviously. He doesn't have an OMG ability, he's just observant.

• Hospitals have a reputation for bad food and yes, you do get pretty much nothing but Jell-O and drinks when the doctors deem that you can't handle solid food. The meal they eat here is something a relative got, actually. Apparently the soup is just a salty broth made from bouillon cubes.