Lemony: Hello once more! Now I forgot to mention before, this story was not only inspired by my Thinkin Mat but also by my good friend King (its his nickname, he's no freaking King of anything) and he is the worlds biggest Soul Eater addict. So yeah, new chapter and its extra long so please ignore any mistakes...enjoy!

Saving Death The Kid

~Rewind: A Strange Deal! Lord Death and a Witch?~

"Er...you wanna run that by me again, Lord Death?" The Witch Salem said; her brow furrowed in confusion. The mighty grim reaper, Death himself, stared the blonde witch down.

"You heard me right, Miss Salem," He chirped, "I want you to teach here at the Death Weapon Meister Academy."

"Death Weapon Mister say what now?" Salem replied looking at Lord Death as if his eyes had barfed rainbows.

"Death. Weapon. Meister. Academy." Lord Death repeated slowly to make sure the pretty witch understood him.

"Uh-huh..." Salem said incredulously, "And you want me to teach here because...?"

Lord Death chuckled, "You've given our students quite a hard time. I understand that capturing a witch isn't easy but you make it look nearly impossible..."

"Why thank ya' Big D, I'm flattered." Salem purred flashing a million dollar smile. The sexy witch didn't see it but Lord Death had rolled his eyes.

He continued, "With the use of your potions and elixirs you've sent a good number of students to the infirmary."

"The little crumb-snatchers shouldn't be trying to take my soul." Salem muttered angrily; oh she remembered the DWMA students all too well. Every time she turned around there was another brat proclaiming that they were going to get a witch's soul and their weapon would be turned into a mighty weapon that would be used by Lord Death. Salem took them down a few pegs with a couple of her nastier potions. She gave some students boils that were so red and so swollen that when they popped the unfortunate student's skin was raw for weeks. She gave an unfortunate male student a set of D-cup sized breasts. And finally, she turned another student into a damn donkey! Lord Death had seen enough to realize Salem was not a witch that could be taken down by a mere student. He had half a mind to track her down himself, but then the other half of his brain hatched an idea. What if the witch could teach his students a few of her tricks? It might help some of them succeed in catching witches in the future. Lord Death had a "if you can think like a witch, you can catch one too" mindset. Hence the meeting between himself and Miss Salem now.

"Hmm...Miss Salem I called you here today to see if you'd be willing to take me up on my offer to teach here. You seem like civilized with. So, whadda say?"

Salem looked at Lord Death as if he was stark, raving nuts.

"Who do I look like? Professor Snape?" She spat, "Kids make my ass itch! There is no way in hell I'm teaching here! Nope. Forget it."

Salem stamped her dainty foot, crossed her arms, and upturned her nose. She wasn't about to deal with a bunch of children all day long! Not even at Death's oh-so wonderful school.

Lord Death's head tilted slightly, "Not even if I told the students not to pursue you anymore?"

Salem still shook her head no, "Uh-uh. I'm having too much fun screwing with them."

Now she'd done it. Lord Death didn't want to do this, but Salem left him no choice...suddenly the Death Room became dark and barren. Deep black began creeping in all around her and Salem felt a freezing chill run down her spine. She looked up at the grim reaper who had doubled in size and shadows encased him.

"Well since you won't take my offer..." Lord Death seethed, his once friendly high-pitched voice had deepened and became...well, fucking terrifying. "I can't let a live witch leave my presence...SO I'LL TAKE YOUR SOUL MYSELF!"

Salem threw up her hands in defense. "Alright! Alright! You win! I'll teach the little punks! Just pop a chill pill, alright?"

Suddenly the darkness disappeared and Lord Death clapped happily.

"That's excellent, Miss Salem." He chirped; his voice returning to the childish shrill. "Now that you've decided to see things my way I have a few things you should know."

Salem scowled, her pretty face twisted into a frown, Lord Death...that sneaky dick-waffle! He knew she wouldn't turn him down if went all crazy on her. But she stayed silent and listened.

"First and foremost, your class will be an elective. Students can choose whether or not they wish to take it,"

"Cool." Salem said shortly, her brow furrowed in irritation.

"Second, since the students won't be attacking you, I expect you to do the same." He told the blonde witch, his voice very stern. Lord Death had every right to be suspicious; he wouldn't put it past the pretty witch to slip a student a rather revolting potion that would have all sorts of ill effects.

Salem arched a mischievous eyebrow.

"I'm offended Big D," Salem purred, batting her long lashes innocently, "Do you really believe I'd hurt one of your students without cause?"

"Yes." The grim reaper said replied shortly.

"Fiiinnneee..." The blonde witch whined, "I won't hurt any of the youngsters. But if one of them gets antsy, I can't promise I won't blast them into next Tuesday..."

"Agreed. If that should happen you have every right to defend yourself, but you can also send said student to me, Miss Salem..." Lord Death proposed as if telling her that would change her mind.

"After I blast them into next freaking Tuesday." Salem sneered lowly; Lord Death merely shook his head.

"And finally, you will not be teaching the students how to create dangerous potions." The grim reaper finally finished, "Is all of that understood?"

"Yeah, yeah, I got'cha." Salem said, waving an absent hand. "No hurting the brats, no dangerous potions, class is an elective. I heard ya' the first time Big D."

"Splendid," Lord Death said clapping, "Now I have some paperwork for you to fill out..."

~Fast Foward: Potions! A Brand New Class?~

"Hey Soul, take a look at this..." Maka Albarn said to her weapon's partner Soul Eater Evans. She was pointing to a new post on the school's bulletin board, Soul turned around to see what she was talking about.

"A potions class huh?" Soul said, reading the bright yellow flyer, "All you do is mix a bunch of stuff, it sounds pretty lame."

"Come on Soul, it could be fun! And we get out of Stein's class early if we sign up." Maka explained, "There are only a few slots left. I'm going to sign to us up."

"'Alright, but I'm tellin' ya, this is going to be boring..."

Just then the couple heard a signature "ha, ha, ha" echo down the hallway. Who should be headed their way but the assassin Black Star and his partner Tsubaki. Both Maka and Soul smiled as their friends approached. Soul and Black Star slapped fives while Tsubaki and Maka exchanged friendly hellos.

"Hey you guys hear about the new potions class?" Black Star asked; a huge smile plastered across his face. "I'm gonna sign up and be the biggest potions man ever! Ha! Ha! Ha! I bet I'll blow the new teacher away with how handsome and smart I am!"

"We just signed up for that class," Maka told him, Black Star and Tsubaki both nodded, obviously pleased that their friends would be joining them. A few moments later, the group saw a familiar trio making their way down the hall. With a Thompson sister on each side, Death The Kid strolled coolly down the hallway with his hands deep in his pockets.

"Ah, here it is," The young reaper said as he eyed the sign up flyer, "The sign up sheet for the new class..."

"Kid, you're gonna sign up for this class too?" Soul asked, arching a brow at the perfect young man.

Kid simply nodded, "Of course I am. A few extra lessons never hurt. In fact, I'm looking forward to it."

Oh if only he knew what would happen! As Kid painstakingly made sure his name was perfectly symmetrical, Liz and Patti signed their names beneath it. Little did they know, this class was going to provide more entertainment than what they bargained for, especially concerning Liz and Kid. Oh well, they'd find out in a matter of days how much fun mixing potions could be...

~Fast Forward: Salem! The DWMA's New Potions Teacher?~

Salem was scared as hell.

Today was the first day of her new "job" as Lord Death had so nicely put it. She tugged the collar of her crisp white shirt nervously as she stood outside the DWMA, clutching her brief case. Needless to say the beautiful, blonde witch felt very overdressed in a lemon-yellow pinstriped suit. She'd have to stand in room full of students...staring at her...with rosy cheeks eager and to learn. It was all so sickening! Oh well, Lord Death promised they wouldn't be chasing after her anymore so it was a good trade off. She made her way into the massive, castle-like school to start class.

As the blonde witch made her way through the halls a few students gave her curious stares.

"Who is she?" A few whispered, "Her soul…she's a witch!"

"Hold on, remember what Lord Death said? We aren't allowed to take her soul…"

"She must be the new teacher..." Other's said, Salem ignored them and tried to find her stupid classroom. It was a losing battle because with no natural sense of direction she got lost almost immediately.

"I'm not going to ask any of these brats where the Full Moon class is..." She thought, frowning. "I'd rather stay lost."

Just then she saw a man walking ahead of her in the hallway. She didn't know who he was but decided to ask him for directions. After all, Salem would rather ask a fellow adult.

"Excuse me! Hey wait up Mister!" Salem called speeding up to him. But, the blonde had the unfortunate luck of running into Spirit Albarn. Spirit took one look at the blonde witch and his mouth fell open hungrily, he eyed the woman lustfully and shot her a smile.

"Well hello, short, blonde and beautiful!" He purred to her, Salem cocked an eyebrow immediately. "Are you lost because I can give you the map to my hear-"

"I just need to know where the Full Moon classroom is," Salem forced out between gritted teeth. Goodness gracious delight, she hadn't been here for five minutes and she already had some pervert coming onto her.

"It's just down the hall there," Spirit said pointing, he smiled sexily at the witch. "I'll walk you there if you like,"

Before Salem could give him a hearty hell no, Spirit slipped his arm beneath hers and proceeded to strut down the hall with her.

"So you're the new potions teacher, eh?" He asked, "You know, maybe you and I should get together and mix up a nice love potion some time."

Salem listened to Spirit go on and on about how she should stroke the fires of his passion, how they should get lost in the moonlight and bunch of other useless, flirtatious babble! By the time they reached the classroom Salem was straining against herself from jumping on Spirit and attacking him. It would be a losing battle, after all, he was a Death Scythe and he'd probably rip her to ribbons. When they reached the door, Salem turned and gave Spirit a false smile. The student's inside the classroom, including Maka, Soul, Black Star, Tsubaki, Kid, Liz and Patti, turned to watch the exchange between their new teacher and Spirit. Maka was especially annoyed at the way her father was ogling the woman. She rolled her eyes and curled her lip in disgust as she watched.

"Thank you for helping me find the classroom Mr. Spirit...you and I should get together some time..." Salem purred; Spirit visibly swelled at the mention of getting to see her again.

"As a matter of fact," Salem continued reaching inside of her breast pocket, "Lemme give ya my phone number..."

Instead of pulling out a phone number, Salem whipped out a small vial of thick, green liquid. Before Spirit had a chance to react she uncorked it and threw it in his handsome face. Spirit spun around and tried to yell but it wasn't possible! Salem's potion made his face morph into a giant, smooth, round ass! The two plump cheeks took over his whole face and the only way he could breathe was through the crack!

"That'll teach you not let so much shit come spewing out of your mouth," Salem said triumphantly, "Get it? Shit?"

As Spirit ran around crazily, his new ass-face making it impossible to see, Salem marched into the classroom and slammed the door behind her. The students had dissolved in laughter at what they'd seen! Soul and Black Star found it to be hysterically funny, both of the boys had tears streaming down their faces while the cackled uncontrollably.

"I like this class already!" Soul gasped between laughs, Black Star cracked up in response.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAN'T BREATHE!"

Everyone was laughing except for Maka. She watched, her eyes glittering, as the new teacher marched to the front of the room. No woman had ever denied her father before, let alone turn his face into a booty. She was going to erect a shrine in this woman's honor...

Salem waited patiently for the laughter to die down before addressing the class. When they all stopped laughing she looked down at the roster then back up at the class; she had a good number of kids present. Salem's golden eyes slid from student to student, studying each one closely, as if she was trying to make out any bad seeds. As she took in the scene before her, the blonde witch was pleased to see that Lord Death and provided the students with necessary lab equipment for this class. Every desk had test tubes, flasks, beakers, alcohol lamps, graduated cylinders, and everything else a chemistry/potions lab would need.

"Ahem, I am Miss Salem your new potions teacher," She began gulping nervously. Hey, even witches have a hard time speaking in front of crowds. "I'll start by taking roll...Um, Soul Eater Evans?"

"Here," Soul called out,

"Maka Albarn?"

"Here..."

"Black Star?"

There was a long pause before everyone heard a loud cackle. Salem cocked her head when she saw a young boy shoot out of his chair and stand on top of his desk. He was striking a flashy pose while pointing to himself.

"I AM THE MIGHTY BLACK STAR AND I WILL STOMP ALL YOUR POTIONS INTO THE DUST! YA-HOO!" Black Star yelled, Salem's face fell. Was this kid for real? Wordlessly she opened her suit jacket; the class could see rows and rows of small vials all holding a different color liquid tucked neatly in tiny pockets. She plucked a purple one from her coat and threw it on the floor at Black Star's feet. A puffy, purple cloud rose from the ground and the young assassin was rendered completely motionless! Black Star tried to move but found his muscles were as stiff as wood! His eyes began darting erratically as he tried to piece together what had just happened! Salem took out another vial containing the same purple liquid, she toyed with it as she eyed the class.

"Let this be a lesson to all of you," She said lowly, "I will not tolerate disruptions in my classroom..."

"What did you do to him?!" Tsubaki cried leaping up and seeing about her partner, Salem looked at the dark weapon with uncaring eyes.

"Oh he's fine. It's a harmless Paralysis Potion it should wear off in a matter of...days." She purred shrugging, the amusement in her voice apparent. Tsubaki, however, didn't find anything remotely amusing. It should wear off in a few days? She didn't know whether to put Black Star back in his seat or to leave him standing in that awkward pose. She tried putting him back in his seat but his body had become as heavy as an elephant. After a few failed attempts Tsubaki gave up.

"Ooohhh sis, this teacher means business..." Patti whispered to Liz who nodded in agreement.

Now the class knew their new teacher was not to be trifled with...unless they wanted to remain motionless for a few days. Salem continued going through the list, calling out each student, but stopped when she came across a perfectly written name. Her brows drew together as her mind forced her to say the name aloud.

"Death The Kid?"

"Present." A cool voice called out, Salem's golden eyes scanned the classroom until she locked onto him. All the color had drained out of her face when she saw Kid. The blonde witch knew Lord Death had a son but never once did she think he'd turn up in her class!

"This isn't good..." She thought dreadfully, "If anything happens to him, Lord Death will eat me like a fat panda eats bamboo. I'll have to be extra careful to watch over him..."

When Salem finished roll she began her lesson. She explained to the class that brewing potions was so easy a monkey could do it. It was all about basic chemistry. After discussing simple lab safety such as always wearing goggles and whatnot, Salem told them that they would brew a simple sleep potion today.

"You'll find that this kind of potion will come in handy before a big test if you need a good night's sleep. Even the weaker ones are strong enough to knock out a horse." She said, "If you turn to page nine in your books you'll see the list of ingredients and the measurements required to make the potion."

The class did as instructed; each student had a pair of goggles clasped tight around their heads and big, blue gloves on their hands as they read in their books. A few had begun brewing their potions, lighting up the alcohol lamps and putting the necessary ingredients into glass flasks. Salem moved about the class room checking each student's work. She actually smiled when they all showed excellent capabilities.

"Hey, this is easy..." She thought, "All I have to teach 'em is the simple stuff and nothing should go wrong..."

Oh but things were about to go horribly wrong. After all, you don't put Patti Thompson in a chemistry lab and expect everything to be peachy keen. The younger Thompson sister was reading the chemistry book trying to figure out the difference between the liquid Aluminum and the liquid Silver. They were both so shiny!

"Teacher!" Patti called waving, "I dunno which one to use...I'll do both!"

Salem turned and her eyes went impossibly wide at what she saw. Patti shrugged and poured both the silver and the aluminum into the heated flask! The trio's concoction had changed colors; it went from a nice, sleepy blue to a hot, glowing red.

"GET AWAY FROM THE THERE!" Salem cried, Kid moved quickly to push his weapons out of the way but it was too late...

KA-BLEWWWY!

The young reaper, along with a few other students, got launched half-way across the room! Oh holy crap on a stick! Why do explosions always happen in the freaking chemistry/potions lab? Salem leaped over students sprawled out on the floor to reach Kid, who'd received the worst of the explosion. She looked down at the motionless grim reaper, her face turning dreadful.

Her goose was so cooked.

To Be Continued…

Lemony: Mkay this is like three chapter mashed into one. Hope I got the story going, and I apologize in advance for any OOC-ness, once again I'm new to writing for Soul Eater so its a learning process for me. Also I created The Witch Salem just for you King (if you're reading cause I know you are) So yeah that's it from me!...REVIEW!