A/N: Hello again my lovely readers. Here's chapter two.

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Disclaimer: I don't own Christmas, Santa, the Boondock Saints, or um... much of anything else for that matter.

Christmas Wishes

Two Irish Saints

Dear Santa,

I'm terribly sorry to bother you again but, as you may already know, Jack Sparrow didn't work out the way I had hoped. In fact, he ran away completely. I'm sorry if you can't read this letter but I can't stop crying.

If it's at all possible, could you like, send me Murphy and Connor McManus? I think I'll need more than one man to cheer me up this time.

Thanks,

Macy O.

Santa rubbed a hand over his forehead as he thought about Macy's new request. He felt absolutely terrible for the fiasco with Jack and he blamed himself completely. He wanted to make it up to the girl but... was it such a good idea to send out two more fictional characters?

Sighing, Santa reluctantly decided to grant Macy's request. After all, what kind of Santa would he be if he didn't grant Christmas wishes?

Shuffling her feet, Macy made her way miserably to the kitchen for another wholesome breakfast of salt and vinegar potato chips, French onion dip, salsa, sour cream, and captain crunch all mixed in a bowl and microwaved on high for thirty seconds. It was a wonder she hadn't keeled over and died yet.

Macy brought her bowl of microwave no-no into the living room. She propped her feet, pink bunny slippers and all, on the coffee table and settled in to watch an infomercial for the Magic Slicer.

She heard someone clear their throat and then speak in a thick Irish accent. "'Scuse us, but where the fuck are we?"

"Murphy," scolded a second voice.

"What?" The first voice asked defensively.

As the two voices bickered, Macy turned her head to see if they had bodies. She let loose an ear-splitting fan girl squeal. "OMIGAWD!! THE BOONDOCK SAINTS!"

Macy jumped up, spilling her concoction of death on the white carpet, and ran over to them. The McManus twins looked at each other in fear before bracing themselves for the oncoming tackle. She stopped in front of them and began hopping from foot to foot. "I don't who I want to hug first!"

Each of the twins pointed at the other. To their dismay this caused Macy to squeal again. "You're sooo cuuuuuute!!" She attempted to crush them both but they managed to dodge her.

"Where are we," Connor asked, hoping to get a general idea so they could get back to Boston, ASAP. The crazed little girl was proving to be.. well, crazed.

"In my house, DUH!" Macy giggled madly, making the brothers cringe. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

"How'd we get here?" Murphy was less trusting of the girl than his brother and he knew Connor didn't trust her as far as he could throw her.

"Santa," she sang, jumping up and down and clapping her hands. "He brought you here for me because Jack Sparrow ran away." She stopped moving and frowned slightly.

The McManus brothers exchanged a look in hopes that the fan girl has run out of batteries. "But it's okay now," she said brightly, crushing their hopes. "I've got you!"

They groaned. "So," she continued, oblivious to their groans of protest and shared glances. "What do you want to do today? We could go to the mall, watch movies, go out to dinner, have a romantic interlude, kill some bad guys, watch movies."

"Let's play hide-n-seek," Connor said, interrupting her.

Macy was silent for a moment and then squealed again. "OMIGAWD! I lurve hide-n-seek! You guys can like, hide and I'll seek!"

Bouncing away, Macy sat on the couch and covered her eyes. "One... two... um... three!"

The second she began counting, Murphy and Connor rushed to find an escape, or at the very least a place to hide. Connor made for the stairs but Murphy grabbed his collar, pulling him back and ran ahead of him.

From the second floor hallway they could hear Macy call, "Ready or not; here I come!"

Frantic, they ran to the closest door. The twins tried to enter it at the same time and got stuck while Macy's elephant-like footsteps pounded up the stairs. Panicking, they both pushed forward to and tumbled in. Connor shut the door while Murphy looked around in fear.

They had found themselves in the lion's den. All around them were posters for movies. Men of all shapes and sizes looked out at them. Including themselves.

"What the fuck..." Murphy trailed off as he tried to process what he was looking at.

Connor grabbed his brother and yanked him into a nearby closet. They could barely see each other in the dark but Murphy knew Connor was giving him the signal to be quiet.

Macy entered her bedroom. "Oh, boyfriends," she cooed. "Where are you?" Kneeling down, she looked under her bed. "Not in here."

Getting up, she bounced away again and the brothers sighed in relief. "Tha' was close," whispered Connor.

"Aye," agreed Murphy. "What are we goin' ta do?"

Connor was silent for a moment. "I don't know."

Silence again before Murphy spoke. "She is vile, though, isn't she?"

Quietly, Connor laughed. "Aye. Pure evil if ever I saw it." They laughed.

Realizing what Connor had said, the McManus brothers stopped laughing and shared another look.

Macy was in the living room, looking under the glass coffee table for one of the Boondock Saints. She didn't see them through the glass so she got down on her knees and looked under it. She was surprised to see that they weren't there. If she were the one hiding, that's where she would go.

As Macy got up, a bullet whizzed by her head and landed in the sofa beside her. Stuffing exploded from the white leather as Macy tilted her head and looked at it dumbly. Turning, she saw the McManus brothers standing at the foot of the stairs with guns in their hands and cigarettes in their mouths.

"I found you," she squealed, getting up to run to them. She stopped when they raised their guns. "Oh, you want to play cop and robbers? Okay!"

"I can't do it, Murph," hissed Connor. "She's too stupid. I feel like I'm shootin' a comatose goldfish."

"Think of it as takin' stupidity out o' the gene pool," Murphy whispered back.

Connor nodded and they both began to fire at the fan girl. Macy shrieked, making them drop their guns and fall to their knees, clutching their ears. "HELP MEEE!!!"

Macy ran around the living screaming and flailing her arms. Then coming to what little senses she possessed, she ran passed the twins and up the stairs. When she stopped her evil screams, Murphy picked up his gun and shot at her again as she dashed up to the second floor.

He missed every shot but left a long trail of bullet holes leading up the wall to the upstairs hallway. Connor was just getting up from the floor when Murphy ran out of bullets.

"Come on!" Connor grabbed his brother's arm and began to pull him away. "Now's our chance."

Together, the two McManus twins ran out the front door and as far from Macy's house as possible. They were only glad they managed to escape without being tortured too badly by the squeaky girl.