Spinning. Everything was spinning. Kakashi couldn't see, couldn't smell, he could only feel the spinning. It confused him at first, the reason for all the whirling, but that thought was forcefully taken down by a wave of nausea that left him desperately trying not to retch. But as he brought the question back into his mind, Kakashi realized that he was spinning upside down, but his hair was still around his eyes, resisting the pull of gravity. Kakashi couldn't understand what was going on, he didn't know why he was spinning in a place he couldn't define, or why he was upside down, but somehow also right side up, but as the spinning continued to violently assult his senses, Kakashi once more couldn't focus on anything expect trying to calm his stomach. Kakashi found himself desperately wishing for the spinning to stop so that he could think clearly or at least hold onto his thoughts for more than a moment. That's when he noticed that he couldn't hear anything, not even the wind that should have been be whipping around his twirling body, howling in his ears, and bringing the scent of his surroundings, but there was nothing. Panic set in and Kakashi couldn't squander the desperate wanting to sense something, anything. Kakashi's memories of Itachi and the Tsukuyomi flooded into his mind, as if am old rotted dam that had been holding back the waters of his memories had finally broken and let loose wave after wave of realization and dread. Kakashi felt himself begin to succumb to the feeling of hopelessness and despair as the spinning continued and more memories crashed into his consciousness.
Just as Kakashi felt he would lose the reigns he had on his emotions and nausea, the spinning slowed, Kakashi let go of the breath he had holding and sighed as his body slowly came to a halt. Kakashi felt internally grateful for whatever had stopped the spinning, but he couldn't understand how he had ended up on his feet without turning his body, he had been upside down the entire time, then he remembered that he was in Itachi's Tsukuyomi and the raven could do anything he wanted in this world. He kept his eyes closed and tried to calm his disquieted stomach by taking deep breaths. After a few moments, Kakashi straightened up and opened his eyes to see the world that Itachi had created within his Tsukuyomi.
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The first thing Kakashi noticed when he opened his eyes, was that he could only see black and white, this alarmed him greatly as he remembered that he had been dragged into Itachi's Tsukuyomi, the familiarity struck fear into Kakashi's heart and he tried desperately in vain to reel in his emotions. Kakashi's breathing became ragged as he made his second observation, he was in a room, but not just any room, he was in his father's old study. Kakashi took in the oddly familiar desk, the scrolls inscribed with his father's sloppy handwriting were strewn across the large expanse of wood in a way Kakashi could only describe as purely Sukumo. There were also ink blots scattered at random over paper and polished bark alike. A painful reminder of the times when a little Kakashi would teeter into the study to aid in the writing of the shopping list or to-do lists that were frequently procrastinated upon until they were eventually forgotten, Kakashi would often smear ink on the scrolls or drop big blobs of the dark liquid onto the desk in his haste to finish the task and leave, (having remembered to write the lists just as he was about to practice a new jutsu or do an experiment), he usually left by reminding his father to not forget about the lists and finish them as soon as possible. And then a little Kakashi, barely knee height, would walk out of his father's study and go back to practicing his jutsu, and/or training his new nin-ken. Those were the happy times, when Sukumo was still alive and Kakashi was warm and loved, before that mission, that horrid mission that had taken everything from Kakashi and his father. Kakashi remembered the distraught look that his father had constitly worn after the unfortunate consequences of his failed mission, how everyone had ridiculed him and blamed him for all the deaths that had followed. Even the people he had saved hated him for choosing them over the mission. Sukumo had committed suicide and left Kakashi alone to shoulder the burden of his father's ruined reputation and the pain of being alone as the last of his clan. But he didn't blame Sukumo, he understood why someone would do such a thing, why someone would end everything with death and leave the other stuck in this world of despair. Kakashi had thought of it many times over the course of his life, after Rin had died, after Minato had also left, but never after Sukumo or Obito, he had promised himself to show the world that he wasn't his father's son, that he was not a coward and could endure the life of a shinobi. And he had made a promise to Obito to look after Rin, to keep her safe and alive, those promises kept his purpose in life alive, but they had both crumbled into dust after Rin had died, leaving Kakashi with no will to continue with life, only the sweet words and gestures of his sensei had halted the blade that he had desperately wanted to pierce through his gut, in much the same fashion his father had. At that time, Kakashi still had no purpose for living, the only reason that he had for not being dead was the fear of turning his sensei's smile into a grimance of pain at the knowledge of his last student's passing, so Kakashi stayed alive, if only to please Minato. But then the Kyuubi had attacked Konoha, and Minato, the 4th Hokage, had gone out to fight the beast and save the village. He died that night, the same night his son, Naruto, had been born and left both Naruto and Kakashi alone with no one but each other. It didn't help that Kushina was also taken, Kakashi had hoped that she would survive, even though he knew a jinjuriki dies after the bijuu is released or extracted, he held onto the hopeless wish that the kyuubi had been once again sealed into Kushina and not the newborn that Minato would use. It saddened Kakashi greatly to know that more and more children are becoming orphans. He knew the pain of growing up alone and didn't want anyone to experience that kind of loneliness. And being the vessel for the kyuubi made the loneliness even more palpable. Kakashi had wanted to be a part of Naruto's life after Minato and Kushina had died, but his heart had iced over and he lost all feeling towards anyone for most of his teenage and early adult life. He was grateful for the chance to help Naruto after he graduated, it was the least he could do to repay his old sensei for all he had done. Naruto, as well as Sasuke and Sakura, had become his new purpose in life. Before he had met his genin team of misfits, he had spent the majority of his life in the ANBU Black Ops, it was a very bleak and emotion-killing organization, all the S-ranked missions were assaigned to those who were black ops, assassinations, sabatoge, and kidnapping were also assigned to ANBU. Those in ANBU were expected to have no emotion, it's the only way one could carry out a mission that required him or her to kill without mercy. This resulted in a proficient killing machine that will never let his or her emotions get in the way of a mission, their hearts become non-existent and they can no longer act in the normal fashion around others. Many black ops become insane because of the constant assassinations and the requirement to feel nothing while doing them. Kakashi had met that line of insanity many times, his mind couldn't take anymore killing and hiding, although he didn't become insane, he had many emotional break downs that could have destroyed his mind and render him useless as a shinobi, but luckily the 3rd Hokage had noticed Kakashi's emotional state and took him out of ANBU to become a jonin sensei.
Genin had been thrown at Kakashi none stop at the request of Hiruzen-sama, the old man was hell-bent on making Kakashi's icy heart melt so that he could have his own genin team. But Kakashi failed every single team, none of them knew what teamwork was. It unnerved Kakashi greatly to see how little the genin cared for each other, all they wanted was to passed, to them it didn't matter if their teammates passed or failed, and that made an indescribable rage make itself known within Kakashi. He thought of his old team, how Minato-sensei had always explained that teamwork was essential for a team to work as one. It wasn't until after Obito had died that he understood what teamwork was, Kakashi realized that if he had understood teamwork a little sooner and made an effort to be friends with Obito, then they would all be alive. But the past is in the past, Kakashi used this to keep him going through life when he began to question why bad things happened. Kakashi knew that if he dwelled on the past, then he would be stuck, and with no one to truly understand the pain he was in, it would be impossible to move on. And when Team Seven had been put under his command, Kakashi realized that he couldn't afford to be stuck in life. Kakashi loved all his students equally, although he still gets shocked when Naruto's blond head appears, it was so much like his father's, Kakashi could never get used to seeing it after so long without it. Sakura had always been the one Kakashi could count on to understand a new concept and not get on his nerves, she actually kept Naruto in check, which was something he was forever grateful for, it was hard enough dealing with one genin. But Kakashi had always felt that Sasuke was the student he relates to the most, they had both grown up without parents and became social outcasts. They were both prodigies and learned that it's better to not become a part of someone's life, or to have someone become a part of theirs. It had taken Kakashi a long time to realize that being apart from everyone else is worst than being with others, life has no meaning and you don't feel anything but anger and sadness, so he had promised to show Sasuke how important it is to have friends and how he should cherish every moment he has with them before its too late. Kakashi loved Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto as if they were his own, so it pained him to watch Sasuke walk down the road he chose in life, unable to stop him because no matter how much he loved the boy, it was ultimately up to Sasuke to accept or decline the invitation Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura had given him to be part of their family. Kakashi watched his little genin quickly spiral out of control and lose himself in revenge and despair. Sasuke had closed his eyes and refused to open them, too scared to see the reality that he was in and instead slept in the darkness that was hatred, hatred that he had for Itachi who had killed their clan, and hatred for this world that made it possible to do such things. Kakashi knew Itachi was correct about how little he had done to keep Sasuke on the right path in life and keep him safe, the only thing Kakashi had taught Sasuke was a jutsu that he would use to hurt his friends and comrades, he welcomed the punishment that Itachi had in store for him, it was all he could do to atone for what he hadn't done for Sasuke and all of Team Seven. And with that in mind, Kakashi continued with his analysis of his surroundings, waiting for the pain to begin.
Kakashi's eyes moved across the room, he saw the old bookshelve that held books as well as kunai, shuriken, and old toys. And the chest that held emergency supplies, Kakashi looked at the wall that had box-like holes that covered about three fourths of the wall, they were filled with scrolls, jutsus, notes, messages, everything Sukumo needed was on those scrolls. But there were three things that Kakashi noticed was wrong with the image before him, first, the study hadn't been touched in more than a decade, but there was no layer of dust, it looked as if someone had still been living in the Hatake Compound, which was impossible because Sukumo was dead and Kakashi lived in an apartment. Second, the desk and shelves were a lot taller than he remembered from the last time he was in the study, and he could reach the top of the wall of scrolls, but now he could barely touch half of the wall. He had shrunk, and now Kakashi looked at himself his heartbeat sped up tenfold and his eyes widened, he was wearing a black T-shirt, it had a white stripe that went from his neck to the ends of the sleeves, he also had one a pair of black shorts and standard issue genin sandals, Kakashi stopped breathing as realization hit him, he was wearing the clothes from when Sukumo had died. He touched his face, it was exposed, that confused Kakashi greatly, he had started wearing his mask long before his father had passed, that's when he remembered that this was Itachi's Tsukuyomi, and he could anything he wanted, even unmask Kakashi's face. The third thing that was not right about Sukumo's study was that the white carpet was just that, white. After Sukumo had pushed the blade through his gut, he had fallen onto the carpet, the only parts of the carpet that weren't dyed crimson were on the edges and corners, everything else including some of the wood around and under the carpet was stained forever. But here, the carpet and floor boards were as clean as they had been when Kakashi and Sukumo lived in the compound together, this made Kakashi's heart sink like a stone into his stomach, he broke out in a cold sweat and started trembling. He knew what Itachi had planned for him, and Kakashi was sure he'd come out of this jutsu without any semblance of sanity.
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Kakashi tried to run away, to put as much distance between him and the room he was currently in, but his legs wouldn't move. He could move his arms and look around but no matter when he did, Kakashi's legs stayed exactly where they were. He realized it was useless to try and escape from the prison that Itachi had created. But still he tried, he tried to think clearly and break the illusion, or at least allow his legs to move but nothing worked. It frightened Kakashi how much power Itachi possessed, he would have never expected this much, not even in his wildest dreams, it just wasn't possible. Kakashi sighed and stopped struggling, he would wait for the raven to show himself, in the meantime, Kakashi steeled himself and tried to create a defense against the emotions that began to surface from his predicament, but it was to no avail as his doubts and fears made themselves known to him, Kakashi was forced to confront the torrent of emotions that refused to be covered and forgotten. He was scared of the Uchiha, scared of what he might do to him after he breaks his will for the second time. There was no denying that Kakashi wouldn't be able to handle the pain that Itachi would inflict upon him and will most likely collapse faster and suffer more damage, since this is his second time being caught in Itachi's tsukuyomi and he will be tortured with his emotions, rather than his body.
But other than his palpable fear, Kakashi also felt anger and self-loathing, he was angry at Itachi for leaving Sasuke and the village, for killing his clan and becoming a rogue for no reason, but his anger was overruled by his hate for himself. He was a very capable ninja, feared throughout the 5 nations, and an ex ANBU operative, and yet he had allowed Itachi to have the upper hand, he had apologized to the rogue and let his guard down before the fight even began. It confused Kakashi greatly, but deep down he knew why, Itachi was stronger than Kakashi in all aspects, strength, intelligence, capability, chakra, and two sharingan eyes that were individually better than his single one. Kakashi had internally given up the battle before it started because he knew he wouldn't win, he had expected Itachi's Tsukuyomi, and then death by the Akasuki member's hand. When the realization hit Kakashi, he stopped everything, stopped his struggling, stopped his thinking, he had given up the fight because he knew that Itachi would win and do whatever he wanted with him. He tried to deny it but the fact wouldn't go away, it made all too much sense, his faltering confidence as Itachi chastised him, his running, the fear that had coursed through his body every time he got too close to the raven, he was scared, scared beyond reasoning, and he had allowed that fear to control him and give the fight to Itachi. As soon as Kakashi realized the fact, the raven in question made his presence known by appearing in a flurry of black feathers, so much like the way ninjas from the Leaf would appear with leaves dancing and fluttering around them, an old gesture adopted from the village Kakashi thought. He looked up at the Akasuki member, his black and read cloak billowing in the wind that Kakashi couldn't feel. Itachi held his gaze, penetrating the deepest parts of his psyche and leaving Kakashi open and vulnerable to the Uchiha's eyes. Fear gripped Kakashi's heart as Itachi forced his head to stay still so that he could delve deeper into the copy nin's mind. They stayed that way until Itachi finally relinquished his control on Kakashi's head, but he kept the boy's, no longer a man since he was in his 5 year old body, legs stuck in place.
As soon as he was released, Kakashi turned his head and looked anything that wasn't Itachi. He knew the rogue nin had seen the fear and hopelessness in his eyes, and understood that he could do anything he wanted to Kakashi and the copy nin would take it without complaint. This surprised Itachi, but he wasn't stupid enough to believe that he could do anything to the white haired nin without a little bit of resistance. Itachi carefully kept his face blank as he levitated in front of Kakashi, his form became blurry around the edges as feathers began to take shape.
"For the next 48 hours, you will relive the deaths of everyone dear to you. From your father to your sensei, and you will be unable to stop them." Itachi's cool voice rang out softly as he told Kakashi the events that he knew would commence, the verbal explaination only served to make the rock in Kakashi's stomach heavier. Itachi's form exploded in a flurry of black feathers and wings, leaving Kakashi scared and breathing shallowly as he braced himself for the indescribable pain that he knew would be repeated over and over again right in front of him.
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