This part may look just a little bit (or a big bit anyway...) with the beginning of Jingo. It's only temporary I can assure you. Or not. Whatever...
oo0oo
PART 2
The commander was walking toward Pseudopolis Yard, following his feet as usually, since his head was too busy being angry. He had to welcome Lord Outrepasse the next ambassador of Quirm to the city, after Vetinari's orders. And he should be wearing his ridiculous Ducal uniform. Lord Outrepasse was thought to be Quirm's next strong man-rumors had it that he was planning to overthrow the king. Vetinari wanted to give him a formal welcoming to the city, but not formal enough to come by himself. After all Lord Outrepasse was not the king of Quirm. Yet.
'Damn all these social stuff' he thought. Maybe he should sent Sybil. After all she was a Duchess and a Lady. And she also liked these... things. Whereas he would have to stand in the middle of a square packed with people looking like a fool, having to warmly welcome to Ankh-Morpork someone he will most probably dislike... Damned politics...
He reached the Watch Headquarters in a very bad mood. Everyone tried to avoid him when he entered. Everyone but Captain Carrot who approached him cheerfully and announced ''Good morning sir! There's something waiting for you on your desk from the palace!'' Vimes didn't reply, so Carrot continued speaking while they climbed up the stairs to the office. ''I took the initiative to clear a small part of your desk so that the package doesn't get lost sir. It was signed as very urgent. I found a small mouse while I was doing that, though. Frankly sir, I think you should clean your desk more often."
Vimes remained silent as he crossed his office towards the desk. A package with a letter on top of it was put in a small clean square on the desk. Not just clean-actually it was shining. 'Typical Carrot...' he thought as he put the letter aside and opened the package. It contained three sets of feathers, a bottle of armor polishing liquid and a piece of cloth. Who said his Lordship didn't have a sense of humor? He groaned.
''Anything interesting happening in the city Carrot?'' he said.
''Yes sir, of course!'' said Carrot enthusiastically. ''There's a new dwarf bread exhibition in the ...''
''I mean anything unusual Captain.'' interrupted Vimes, frowning. Carrot sometimes behaved more dwarfish than the average dwarf that has never been out of a mine did.
''It is an unusually big exhibition sir!'' the captain said honestly.
''Damn it Carrot - anything that has to do with criminals!!!'' replied the Commander impatiently. Carrot opened his mouth to answer but Vimes spoke over him ''And don't tell me that the doorman of the exhibition has been convicted for shoplifting!''
''Well it's just rumors sir. He's never been convicted. But how did you kn...'' The expression on the Commander's face finally made Carrot catch up. ''Oh... I see...'' he said thoughtfully before turning happy again. ''Nothing important sir. Everything is jolly good.'' he said with a big grin.
Vimes continued to stare at him in silence. Sometimes it was hard to believe that the huge man in front of him actually had a functional brain. ''What do you know about Lord Outrepasse?'' he finally asked Carrot- the Watch's walking encyclopedia.
''Oh... Very famous fellow sir! He's coming to Ankh-Morpork as Quirm's new ambassador tomorrow. It is said that the king sent him here to reduce his influence back home, but as far as I know he has a very open mind on economics, and plans to establish a free trade relationship between Quirm and Ankh-Morpork. A very well educated and modern man sir.'' said the Captain seriously.
Vimes groaned again. ''I'm sure he is Captain...'' he said, mainly to himself.
ooOoo
The only source of light in the massive hall was a small candle positioned strategically behind the room's only chair.
''You shoot to kill'' ordered the man sitting in the chair. ''There is no room for mistakes.''
''Indeed sir'' answered the man standing in front of him - hooded and dressed all in black.
''I'm glad you can understand my perspective.'' the seated man said seriously. ''I will only contact you again after you have done your job. Do have a nice day.''
As the hooded figure walked out of the small circle of visibility produced by the candle, into the even darker shadows around it, the other man sat back on his chair, a sinister smile on his face.
ooOoo
The official welcoming of Quirm's new ambassador was to take place at the city's main square. Lord ... of course wouldn't just arrive in the city - he had spent the last week or so in his country's embassy, getting everything to work properly under his command, as Vimes guessed.
The square was filled with a good 2000 persons, as Vimes could roughly estimate. Some of the people were Quirmians living in the city, that went there to see the person said to be the next king of Quirm. Even more were curious Morporkians with nothing more interesting to do, that wanted to see what had made so many people stand in the cold instead of staying in their warm houses. A significant number was formed of people trying to sell any kind of things to the rest. One was CMOT Dibbler who was currently trying to sell to Captain Carrot a flag with Ankh-Morpork on the one side and Quirm on the other. He was not very successful so far. The rest of the people were watchmen (and women, and other things). Almost half of the Watch was needed to keep the peace in a place like that.
And everyone was looking at Vimes. Or at least he thought so. He was hard to miss in any way. Wilkins had spent two hours the previous day polishing the ducal uniform, so that one could finally see every detail of his reflection on the breastplate. The feathers had also been adjusted to the helmet, having as a result something that in Vimes' opinion was pretty close to a fool's hat.
An impressively decorated carriage moved slowly through the sea of people, amidst a group of watchmen trying to cut through them. It took a long time until it reached it's goal and halted in front of the Duke. The door opened revealing first two tall muscular men that almost had 'bodyguard' written on their foreheads, then an elegant good-looking woman and finally...
'Ah... The ambassador.' Vimes thought. 'At least there's a man that impressively enough has managed to wear something that looks even more ridiculous than the ducal uniform. Gods be praised.'
The party of four moved towards the Commander. Lord Outrepasse looked as comfortable in his clothes as he would look in an everyday suit. Some people just have it in them.
''On behalf of the people of this great city, I welcome you to Ankh-Morpork your lordship'' Vimes said, having been practicing this 'speech' for several hours. He just hated social duties.
''Why, thank you Sir Samuel.'' replied Lord Outrepasse ''But please, a man of your titles and fame doesn't need to call me lordship! Sir Jean will do just fine. It's so much more friendly...'' He grinned a flawless set of teeth at the Commander.
Sam Vimes was not at all fond of the idea of using titles to refer to somebody. But he didn't reserve this privilege just for the nobility like the man standing in front of him. The ambassador was too aware of his social status, confident, slimy and generally all too 'noble'. He quickly decided he didn't like him at all. But then again Vimes hardly liked his guts, let alone some foreign noble guy…
''And this over here'' Lord Outrepasse continued ''is my lovely wife Eleon…''
At which point something flew very fast next to the Commander's ear and buried itself on the throat of the bodyguard standing right next to the ambassador.
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So, pleaaaase tell me if you liked that… I like feedback. No, I love feedback. No I adore feedback… Do review and tell me if you liked the story, the style etc, and if not tell me what I should correct. I'm not planning to continue if I don't get at least 1257 reviews for what I've written so far…
Anyway, please review… And does anyone want to guess what the title means? I would be really surprised if you do, but you're welcome to try anyway…