During the next few weeks the time seemed to stand still for Harry. A year ago he imagined the life at Grimmauld Place would be exiting and thrilling – or at least a little bit more exciting than what he was experiencing at the moment. Everything seemed better than the life with the Dursleys but now Harry had his doubts about that. Back then at least there was always somebody in the house who'd talk to him every now and then.

The last visitors at Grimmauld Place showed up three days ago. Hestia Jones was the first one. She greeted Harry with a warm smile and took her time to talk to him, even though she seemed a little bit stressed. Just half an hour after her Mad-Eye Moody stomped through the door and (being his grumpy self) began ranting about the idiots in the Ministry.

They were sitting in the kitchen and listening to Moody's scolding while Hestia was busy making some tee.

"Oh, Mad-Eye! Stop it for a second. I don't want to hear just a single word about the work right now. It's enough. Here, take a sip of your tea and calm down", Hestia said and handed him a teacup with emblem of the Blacks.

Moody grunted in response and took the teacup. "I just wanted to make it clear", he said.

"I know, but this makes my headache just worse."

"I'm sorry, but that messy, under-qualified, idiotic, stu-"

"Mad-Eye!"

Hestia sat down and sighed. She took a sip of her tea and leaned back. "I'm really curious about the meeting this weekend. Dumbledore seemed a little bit tensed last time I spoke to him."

"He always looks tensed. Nothing curious about that", said a voice behind them. Hestia and Harry turned around and saw Sirius leaning against the wall, an odd smirk on his face.

"Because there's always a reason for him to be tensed, Sirius", said Hestia. "Times have changed."

"The good old days are over", agreed Sirius and began to walk around the table so he could sit down next to Mad-Eye, who held his cup of tea still in his hand. Harry thought to hear some sort of bitterness in Sirius' voice but both, Hestia and Mad-Eye, didn't notice. As Sirius sat down he sighed exaggeratedly. "When does the meeting take place?"

"Friday evening", muttered Moody.

"I think everybody's coming, except Tonks. She has to work."

There was a short silence before Hestia and Sirius began to discuss the article Andy Smudgley had written yesterday. Harry didn't pay attention to them. It was already Wednesday and if Dumbledore insisted that the meeting should take place this Friday it must be something important that he wanted the other members to know. Everybody, with the exception of Tonks, was coming. Harry felt betrayed. He thought after what happened in the Ministry of Magic this summer Dumbledore would accept to tell him a few secrets the Order was keeping. Or at least he thought that Dumbledore would inform him about the important stuff. But the old wizard was an infrequent visitor at Sirius' place so he didn't even had the chance to ask him anything.

He always asked Lupin a few things when he visited Grimmauld Place but he never answered his questions properly and kept knowledge close to the vest. So Harry soon gave up and just talked with him about unimportant stuff, like the weather in London, newspaper articles or the well-being of other members of the Order.

"I was wondering", said Harry and interrupted the discussion that was going on between Sirius and Hestia. "…if I could attend the meeting, too. I'd just sit in a corner and pretend I'm not there. So I wouldn't bother anybody."

He wasn't looking at them, afraid that he already knew the answer to his question. But he had to ask, there was no way that he was going to sit in his room and keep quiet forever, while Dumbledore was making decisions about him. He wanted to hear about everything that was going on right now. And he wanted to be heard.

Harry expected Moody to be the first one to say that it wasn't possible. Then Hestia would apologize and maybe she'd even suggest that he should talk to Dumbledore. He waited for Moody to talk but there was just awkward silence. Finally Sirius cleared his throat.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Harry."

Harry quickly looked up and caught Sirius' awkward expression on his face, before his godfather looked away. Sirius was the last one Harry had expected to say this. He was always willing to tell Harry about the plans and knowledge of the Order. Now he just stared at the wall to avoid Harry's gaze.

Harry wasn't listening when Hestia and Moody began to tell him that Dumbledore would be against that idea. He tried to remain calm and just nodded when Hestia said she had to go, her mother was waiting for her. Twenty minutes afterwards Moody announced he had to leave, too. Sirius stood up and said good bye to him.

Sirius, now being the only person in the room next to Harry, sat down again and proceeded to stare at the wall. "Say something. Say something!" a voice was shouting in Harry's head. He wanted Sirius' to just explain his opinion or to talk about something else, for Merlin's sake. "Come on, say something. Don't you want to talk to me?"

Sirius looked down and opened his mouth. He seemed unsure whether to talk or not.

"Say something!"

Sirius closed his mouth again. He was playing with his sleeves.

"SAY SOMETHING!"

Harry stood up furiously and stormed out of the kitchen. If Sirius didn't want to talk to him – fine. He wasn't going to force him. He entered his room and shut the door with a bang. Just a few seconds after the noise's echo was became silent he could hear Sirius mother's ranting and felt a little bit satisfied.

"We are a little bit angry, aren't we?"

Harry looked up to the portrait of Phineas Nigellus. "Shut up!" he hissed and lay down on his bed.

"This boy and his temper", Phineas was mumbling before he disappeared.

"That's what you get! Now even the portrait won't talk to you either!" the voice in Harry's head said taunting.

"SHUT UP!"

Harry refused to leave his room the next two days till Friday. He felt betrayed and frustrated and he didn't want to see Sirius or anybody else. They treated him like he was just a little innocent kid who had no idea what was going on. "They are mistaken about that!" Harry thought as he lay in his bed.

He had heard the noise of Sirius footsteps outside his room several times a day, but he never came in to speak to Harry. He always remained on the other side of the door. Maybe he just wanted to eavesdrop on Harry because he wanted to know what he was doing. After a few minutes Sirius went away and left Harry alone with his thoughts.

When Harry awoke on Friday morning he discovered that Hedwig had brought him a letter. "The only good thing that'll happen to me today", Harry thought bitterly while he offered Hedwig a cracker. "It's from Ron", he told her and, as Hedwig nibbled at his finger, he added, "Sorry, I haven't got anything to eat. I'll get you something later, okay?"

He opened Ron's letter carefully.

Dear Harry,

Hermione thought it's a bad idea to write you. At first she tried to convince me to follow Dumbledore's 'no-letters-for-Harry' rule but I think it's stupid. I mean, come on. He's rarely around in school. We tried to find out where he's going to but McGonagall won't tell us anything and it's impossible to get into his office.

Sometimes we think it's good that you're not at Hogwarts anymore. You'd hate it here. Snape now teaches DADA, which is now the most hated subject of course. Not even Hermione has a chance to get some points for Gryffindor. We heard a rumor that Dumbledore wanted to get the old Potions teacher to come back to Hogwarts – but he refused. So he was forced to let Fudge send him somebody from the Ministry, who volunteered to be the new potions teacher. The guy is completely awkward. He looks like a toad, and he even smells like one. At least he's kind of neutral, so it's not as difficult to get points as back in Snape's days.

We visited Hagrid yesterday (he won't tell us anything about Dumbledore, too. But he gets very nervous every time we ask him about that, so maybe he's going to prattle away if we keep asking). The Ministry refuses to let him get his 'harmless' creatures for his lessons, so he's forced to let everyone pet Flobberworms instead. He is a little bit frustrated.

Oh, by the way, you are not the only one who hasn't come back to Hogwarts after the summer. Seamus' mother won't let him come back; she thinks it's too dangerous. Seamus told her about what happened in the Ministry and because she doesn't trust Dumbledore anyway (she believes the shit the Daily Prophet publishes) she forbid him to come back. It's the same with Hannah Abbot, Ernie Macmillan and the Patil twins. A lot of the younger ones were taken out of school by their parents, too. It's weird.

I'm considering to drop out of school, too (just like Fred and George), but I think Mum'll bite my head off if she finds out. Hermione keeps telling me my plan's stupid, but I bet she doesn't mean it.

You can write us back, as far as we know they don't control the mail.

Best wishes,

Ron

P.S.: Harry, no matter what Ron says: please be careful what you write. I don't think that they open our letters, but we have to be careful with that. Dumbledore told us we shouldn't write you that often, but I think a few letters are okay.

Love,

Hermione

Harry re-read the letter several times until he was sure that there wasn't a message hidden in the text. He sighed and fell onto his bed. Seamus and Parvati weren't allowed to be at Hogwarts either. He felt a little bit relieved; he wasn't the only one who couldn't go back.

Harry lay down. He was hungry, but fragments of Ron's letter kept wandering through his thoughts.

"…He's rarely around in school…"

If Dumbledore wasn't at Hogwarts what was he doing? He was sure that Dumbledore never visited Grimmauld Place in the last few weeks. So, where was he going to? It made no sense.

"…Snape now teaches DADA, which is now the most hated subject of course…"

Snape teaching DADA was the nightmare of all Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. He was sure the Slytherins on the contrary were excited about that. Why, for Merlin's sake, did Dumbledore let Snape teach DADA? Harry sighed.

He remained silent for a few minutes until he heard the wonderful noise of Sirius' mother's voice echoing through the house. Members of the Order must've arrived.

Harry got up and opened the door. He could hear the voices of Lupin, Sirius and Mad-Eye but they were talking very quietly, so he couldn't understand a single word. Slowly, so he wouldn't make noises, he walked to the beginning of the stairs, sat down and waited.

Kingsley was the next one to come, followed by Hestia Jones, McGonagall and Snape. After that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley arrived with Bill and Fleur. Half an hour later the Order of the Phoenix was complete; all members sitting in the kitchen and waiting for Dumbledore to arrive. After twenty minutes the front door of Grimmauld Place opened gently and the old wizard entered the house.

"Ah, everybody's here, I see", Harry heard him say and felt angry. He got up and went downstairs with the vague plan to eavesdrop at the kitchen door. "Mad-Eye can see through doors, you moron!" said the voice in his head and caused Harry to stop. Right, they'd catch him if he was dumb enough to position himself in front of the kitchen like a muggle.

After ten minutes Harry went upstairs again and sat down at the top of the stairs in front of his room. He wouldn't hear a lot of useful information up here, but at least he wasn't going to get caught. Harry sat there for hours playing with his sleeves or examining the portraits on the walls. Suddenly there was a noise downstairs: Doors were opened and closed, footsteps were mixed with soft murmurs of different people and somebody was coughing loudly. But just after a few seconds all the noises were gone and Harry found the house in silence again.

"Time to go to bed", said the voice in his head.

Harry sighed. "I think you're right."

He entered his room and put on his pajamas. "I'll ask Sirius about the topic of the meeting. He has to tell me something. At least I hope so." As he tried to fall asleep Harry thought he could hear Phineas Nigellus muttering something, but ignored the portrait. The former headmaster would have enough time to get on his nerves tomorrow.