This part has TRIGGERS for suicide. BE WARNED.
"John! What are you doing with him?"
"Him? You mean Sebastian? He's my friend!"
"Friend? John, this is Moriarty's top assassin!"
John rounded on Seb, who was still pointing his gun at Sherlock. "Is that true?"
"John, I-"
"He was 'Tim,' wasn't he?"
"Yes, but John, you don't understand!"
"He tried to blow me up, you know."
"Your friend was going to do worse than that," Sherlock growled. "He was going to shoot you on Moriarty's orders… unless I killed myself."
John stared at Sherlock. "Oh, god…" This was almost too much to take in.
"But… how did you survive?" Sebastian asked. There was desperate hope in his tone.
"I have my ways."
"And Jim?"
"Dead."
Sebastian collapsed into his seat without a sound and stared into space. John and Sherlock watched, not knowing what to do.
"I… I'm sorry," John murmured.
"You're not,"' Sebastian replied brokenly, "but thanks."
"Listen, Moran," Sherlock snarled, still holding his gun. Before Sherlock could continue, Sebastian seemed to notice his presence.
"You," the assassin hissed, raising his weapon again. "You were the one that killed him. You're the reason he's dead."
"Yes, I am," replied Sherlock coldly. "He and his network of assassins are dead to prevent innocent lives from being lost. You're the last one left, Moran."
"You don't mean that… that you're going to kill him?" John asked incredulously.
"That was the plan, yes."
"You can't!" the blogger protested. "He's my friend!"
"Thank you, John," Sebastian said, defeated, "but it's over now. I don't have anything left any more."
"Seb-"
"No. Don't try to tell me I can't turn myself in. Jim isn't coming back. And I'll be reminded of that every day until I die. I don't want that."
The three stood in grave silence for a moment.
"John, you should be the one to call Lestrade. As far as he knows, I'm dead."
"You won't shoot him?" John asked, shocked.
"Not unless he tries to get away."
John locked eyes with Seb, who nodded. Then he went to make a phone call.
-o0o-
One week into Sebastian Moran's life sentence, he was found dead in his cell next to a handmade knife and a note saying only, "I'm coming."
-o0o-
When John heard the news, he couldn't believe it. He sat down in his chair and stared into space, reliving. When he ended the call, Sherlock asked him what was wrong.
"Seb… Seb killed himself."
"Oh."
After a few seconds of silence, John felt thin arms around him.
"…Sherlock?"
The consulting detective's voice was shakier than John had ever heard it.
"Did you ever think about it?"
John gently pushed Sherlock away, but he couldn't meet his eyes.
"Yes, sometimes."
"Thank you."
John stared at him. "For what?"
"For staying."
John smiled and put a hand on Sherlock's arm.
"Thank you for coming back."