Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. Shocking, isn't it?

A/N: Thanks to everyone for reviewing and reading! It inspired me to actually get this written…so, yeah, if there's anyone out there that hasn't been reviewing, it really will get me to write more quickly…I promise. Reviews help keep the writer's block demons away.

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"Lloyd earned the title of Mr. Oblivious!"

Chapter two: the Renegade Base

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Genis was bored. That hadn't been a problem during the journey. Afterwards, when he had been bored, he'd learned some new spells or annoyed Zelos. Unfortunately, there were no new spells to learn. And he was actually warming up to Zelos. In all honesty, he had to blame that on Lloyd. Thanks to the red-clad idiot, Zelos had stopped being quite as annoying. He'd actually started being…tolerable.

Though it was still fun to watch the ex-Chosen try to insist he wasn't leering at Lloyd. Really, Genis couldn't tell why Lloyd was oblivious to Zelos. Even Presea had noticed the change.

His boredom, however, was what had him crouching in a tree, spying on Yuan and Zelos. It was bound to be interesting.

Zelos gave the Renegade leader a look. "Just how much have you drank?"

"My life is over."

"Ah, cut with the dramatics. What do you want with me? I thought my spying was over with."

"I can't even say hi to him!"

Zelos crossed his arms and sighed. "I didn't come here to listen to a sob story."

"We'll make a deal," Yuan said, raising his head.

"I don't want to make a deal with you. I don't even like you."

"No, no, hear me out! If you help me get Kratos, I'll help you get Lloyd!"

There was a deadly silence as Zelos glared down at the angel. "I don't want Lloyd," he said coldly.

"Then why were you leering at him?"

"I wasn't leering!"

"Sure. Sure. And I can have a reasonable conversation with Kratos." Yuan started whimpering again. "It's not faaaaaaair. Why can't I be in denial?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Is that all you wanted?"

"Waaaaaaaaaah!"

Zelos, apparently decided to take that as a 'yes,' left. Genis frowned. That hadn't been too interesting. He had to find something to do.

Suddenly a wicked grin grew on his face. He quietly jumped down from the tree and ran inside the Renegade base before the door closed.

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"No," Yuan mumbled. "Not the socks."

"Yuan," a bratty, annoying voice cut in.

"DAMMIT, BOTTA, I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THE SOCK MONKEYS AWAY WHEN I'M DRINKING!"

The brat stared at him. Yuan pressed both hands to his head. "No…wait. Botta's dead."

"Newsflash."

"Shut up, brat." Yuan groaned. "I need to find a way for angels to get drunk. As it is, I'm going to have a hangover without the joy of getting completely wasted."

"Why does everyone call me a brat?"

"Because you are a brat. Now get out!"

The brat didn't move. "My name is Genis and I'm smarter than you, Botta, and all the other Renegades put together."

"Special for you. Now go away. I need to drink."

"Why? If you don't get drunk…"

"I might get lucky." He peered at the bottle he'd been drinking from. Empty. Damn. He reached for another.

"Or, you could team up with me and I could help you get Kratos. And I could help you make Zelos come out of denial."

Yuan felt a strange jumping up and down in his stomach and concentrated for a few minute on not throwing up. "Why would you do that?" he asked slowly.

Genis shrugged. "I'm bored. I don't have anything better to do."

"Hmph. Like a brat like you would know anything about this."

Genis looked annoyed. "You know what the biggest thing in your way is?"

"The fact that I can't talk around him?"

"It definitely contributes."

"Well, what do you plan to do for that?" Yuan snapped. "Record my voice for every possible thing he could say and just push the 'play' button if he talks to me so I don't have to talk?"

"I had a better idea in mind, actually." The brat's voice betrayed just how dumb he thought Yuan was.

"Oh really."

"Practice breathing."

"I breathe all the time!" Yuan said indignantly. "I don't need practice."

"Well, you don't breathe around Kratos. If you don't breathe, you can't talk. And you feel lightheaded. And when you do talk, it sounds squeaky."

Yuan said nothing, glaring at Genis, but seeing the half-elf's point.

"So whenever you want to talk to him, you have to concentrate on breathing. Got it."

"I'll try it."

"Ah, yeah, one last thing. When you're talking to him, don't think about how good he would be in bed. Or how much you want to kiss him. Or what he would look like naked. It'll make it harder to concentrate."

Maybe that was the problem.

"Why are you helping me?"

"Because I want to know exactly how you plan to get Zelos to admit he's gay."

"Why do you care about it?"

"Well, one, I've run out of things to laugh at him about. And two…" Genis hesitated, then said, "Because I can."

"Really…"

"You said it yourself. Zelos was leering at Lloyd."

"Hmph. And?"

"So what would be the best way to make him admit he's gay?" Genis looked at him patiently.

"Kill Lloyd!"

"No! Besides, Kratos would kill you if you did that."

"Oh yeah…"

"No, I'm thinking of something similar, but less drastic."

"Torturing Lloyd."

"Not quite…" Genis sighed. "I'm going to have to explain this right out, aren't I?"

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Lloyd: What are they going to do to me?

Me: Get out of my head.

Genis: Something evil. It is, after all, a nefarious plan.

Lloyd: I blame you.

Me: Me?

Lloyd: YOU wrote this!

Me: Oh…well…wow, look at the time! –-runs away—

………yeah, I'm lame. Review anyways?