I feel just like I'm sinking

And I claw for solid ground

I'm pulled down by the undertow

I never thought I could feel so low

Oh darkness I feel like letting go – Sarah McLachlan

I was more than happy to be out of the trunk but I clearly didn't think it all the way through. Because the bathroom was the next step apparently to Pam, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that tidbit of information.

Pam had gently carried me from the parking garage up to Alcide's, who thankfully had disappeared, apartment. She warned me she was taking me to the bathroom. She also warned me that Eric was coming with us. She said that in a way that made me think they were worried about my reaction. Well to be honest, so was I. I haven't been all too consistent today.

We got to the bathroom and she sat me on the sink. Smart move on her part. The bathtub did not look like my friend at the moment. With my pants shredded I already felt way underdressed. The thought of being even more underdressed was not exactly agreeing with me at the moment.

Eric had been quietly following us and I'm glad Pam had warned me that he was doing so. I had a feeling if he just had appeared I might have screamed again. My throat did not feel up to it.

Sitting in the bathroom, my head is in a fog and I'm not quite sure how much time has passed since I got out of trunk. Well really, taken out of it I guess.

I know Eric and Pam are still in the bathroom with me. I also know they are speaking to each other but that is the extent of my awareness of the situation at the moment.

It's a weird feeling to know where you are and who your with but to be in a different place and with different people in your head. It's an even worse feeling when the people in your head are hurting you.

The room comes more into focus when I seem to finally hear Pam say, "We should let her shower, Eric." She says it filled with exasperation sounding like she has already stated that quite a few times. She and Eric must have been talking back and forth for a while. The fog I was in started to lift as the room I was truly in came into focus.

"The internet said that patients like this shouldn't shower until they've been to a hospital," I hear Eric respond. Neither of them is focusing on me.

"No hospital," I say softly. The thought of going to a hospital on top of what happened tonight didn't sound good. Both vampires look at me like I had grown two heads. I guess a response from me who had been previously pretty catatonic had caught them by surprise.

"It is what is recommended before showering or even changing," Eric says lightly.

I take a deep breath and say in almost a whisper, "That's only so no," I pause looking for a word that wouldn't make me start to cry. "Evidence gets washed away." Nope that would not be the word to say that would not make me cry. I couldn't stop the tears as they ran down my face.

"Good job. You made her leak again," Pam says to Eric.

Eric growls but I am more than surprised when that was really the extent of his reaction. His focus then shifts to me. He takes a step closer and raises his hand as if to stroke my face. I don't know if my face gives something away or if he just stopped on his own, but his hand never makes it to my face.

"I did not mean to make you upset," he says quietly. "I just want to make sure you don't do anything you shouldn't."

I nod and tell him I appreciate it. Then Pam suggests a shower might be easier for me if Eric is not in the room. Of course she didn't say it quite so nicely to Eric. I think it might be easier if they both left but keep my thoughts to myself for now.

"I'll leave once her neck is healed," he says.

"Eric," Pam says softly.

"Silence," Eric says sharply for the first time acting somewhat like the Eric I had come to know. I think I see I smile cross Pam's face but it is gone quickly if it happened at all.

"Sookie," Eric said looking at me. "The bite has left your neck all mangled up. It is going to keep opening up and bleeding. Something is going to have to be done about it," he said carefully. "We can take you to a hospital just for that," he starts to say.

"No hospital," I cut him off. "I don't want to have to explain," I start but trail off. The thought of having to explain not only that my boyfriend did this to me but oh yeah, he happened to be a vampire, was not appealing to me at the moment.

"We could glamour them," he responds but I shake my head at that thought. I don't want to be the reason people were losing a part of their memories.

"Sookie, I think it is the best option for you."

"No please, Eric." I say my voice a tone that even I don't recognize. Tears again start rolling on my face.

"You were in bad shock earlier," he starts to say.

"Seems to be coming out of it and thinking pretty logically now," Pam says earning her a glare. "Pamela," he says, growling out her name. She puts up her hands in a surrender motion and bows her head to him.

I'm very surprised Eric is encouraging me to go to the hospital. I never thought he would be one to do so especially with a vampire attack. I say so to him, which doesn't help the situation at all.

"Well, I never thought I'd fucking have to," he says no longer able to hide his anger. He storms out of the bathroom punching the wall, leaving a large hole as he leaves.

I have never seen Eric lose control like that. He usually maintains his calm composure even as he's methodically taking someone down. "What is going on with him," I ask Pam.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," she replies. "And as it seems you are no longer in shock and are able to speak logically, what the fuck have you and my maker been up to?"

I start to respond by telling her we weren't up to anything when I flashback to when we were at Russell's. I can feel the muscles in his back as if my hands are caressing them now. I feel as if his lips are ghosting their way down my neck. When I remember how it felt when he slid a finger in me however, that is also when the panic sets in. I start breathing quicker and start to hyperventilate because in my mind I am no longer in a bed with Eric but back in the damn car trunk with Bill.

Suddenly I feel a gentle yet firm pressure of a hand on my shoulder and it almost makes it worse until hear words being whispered in my ear. I can't make them out in my panic yet, but the repeating tone of them is comforting. I focus on taking slow, deep breaths, as the voice in my ear is telling me too. As my breathing slows, I can start to make out the words being said so gently in my ear. It's Eric. I had completely missed him coming back into the bathroom in the middle of my fit.

The hand on my shoulder that had edged the panic on in the beginning was now shockingly helping keep it under control. It is keeping me grounded. It lets me focus on the words Eric is saying over and over, "You are safe. You are not in the car. No one here will hurt you. I'll never let anyone hurt you."

I take one last deep breath, before resuming a more natural pattern of breathing. After a minute of two or that, Eric still whispering says into my ear, "Better?" I nod and he slowly moves away, careful not to make any quick movements just as Pam had when she got me out of the car.

"Sookie, I really think," Eric starts, but I cut him off by saying, "I know. Doctor."

He looks at me stunned that I would seemingly give in so easy. Well, not quite.

"I should be seen by a doctor. Everyone who this happened to should," I pause, close my eyes, and try not to cry again. "But it was a vampire and a human hospital may not be best for that."

He opens his mouth as to start to say something but I continue, "How about the doctor that helped me with the Maenad attack?"

He's quiet for a second, I think more astonished than anything else before he asking, "You would let Ludwig come and see you?"

I slowly nod and for the first time feel the pain of the bite on my neck. I guess that is a good thing, another sign the shock is wearing off. Doesn't feel too much like a good thing at the moment though. "I should see someone and she would understand better than humans at the hospital."

"She's not exactly a doctor for humans," Pam says.

"Sookie can hear people's thoughts. She's not exactly a normal human," Eric responds to her. Right now, I don't even comprehend what that could possibly mean.

Eric tells Pam to go and call Ludwig and get her here as soon as possible. And just like that I am alone with Eric again in the bathroom. Awkward is quite the understatement at the moment. I am still sitting at one end of the vanity while he has moved to the other side of the bathroom and was sitting on the bathtub. We both start to say something at the same time. He then makes a motion for me to go first.

"How did you know," I ask him in a whisper. He seems to understand what I am asking.

"I was always going to meet you here to help with Bill as soon as I could," he responds.

Of course. He had come as always planned to, not to help me. Why would he have come just because I needed help?

"This was the first time I can remember actually hating the sun," he continues. He looks away from me and turns his gaze down to the floor.

"Why?" I ask not understanding.

"I felt your fear. I had woken about a half hour before sunset and felt you were afraid. It was controlled but I knew you were in trouble although you didn't seem hurt. I left to get to you the minute the sun allowed me to." He pauses and I stay silent not knowing what to say.

"I was fifteen minutes away. Poor planning on my part. I should have been much closer leaving you with a wounded vampire. Ten minutes into my flight here I knew something had changed. I felt your fear rise and felt that you were in pain. I got here as soon as I could and it wasn't soon enough."

The emotion in his voice is one I had never heard from him before. He worked hard to seem so uncaring and untouched by things but I am beginning to believe it is all just an elaborate act. Well I'm not sure if I truly believe it yet or if it is more of a hope.

"Thanks for coming for me Eric," I tell him. He's still not looking at me. "I really appreciate it."

"Don't you understand? Your thanks is not necessary and I truly wish it wasn't needed," he tells me finally looking up. As he does, I see his eyes are rimmed in red. Eric Northman fighting back tears, for me?

Suddenly he is on his feet but when I flinch at his fast movement he doesn't come any closer. "Sookie, if I," he starts but we are interrupted as Pam comes back into the bathroom followed by the tiny doctor who barks at Eric, "Out Northman!"

Eric certainly does not look happy as his focus shifts from me to the doctor. "I am not leaving." I had to keep myself from laughing as Dr. Ludwig who couldn't be more than 3 feet is standing her ground against this 6-foot Viking of a vampire.

"If you want me to help the patient, you will.

"You seemed to help her just fine with me in the room last time."

"Last time her wounds weren't as personal," says the doctor, sharply.

That causes Eric to stop arguing with her. He looks from the doctor to me and I do not completely understand the look that crosses his face. What I do get from him is he does not want to leave.

"Eric," I call to him softly. "How about as soon as the exam is over Pam will come and get you," I ask him not quite sure why. Then it hits me. Just as he's hesitant to leave, I don't exactly want him to either. I am not sure exactly when it happened but somewhere I had started to trust Eric at least to keep me safe.

He nods and takes a step towards me before stopping himself. Taking a last look at me he turns and walks out of the bathroom. After he leaves, Ludwig takes a look around and says, "Why don't we find you a bed? The exam will be more comfortable that way."

I personally didn't think there really was a way for the exam to be at all comfortable but I took her word at it. As I moved to get off the vanity to walk into the bedroom, Pam was quickly at my side asking me if I was ok to walk myself.

"I won't know if I don't try," I tell her.

"I'll stay close just in case." I appreciated it but was able to make it to the bed unassisted. It was a bit painful having my legs support me but I don't know if it was from what Bill did or from being in a cramped space for hours. Probably a mixture of both.

I grimace a little during the exam. Let's face it – the exams are really never pleasant to begin with, let alone the reason I was getting this one done. After a few minutes I close my eyes and just focus on keeping my breathing steady. I then feel someone cautiously touch my hand. I open my eyes to see Pam standing there with an unsure look on her face. "I didn't get this done when I was alive. But it certainly does not look pleasant," she says holding out her hand.

Pam wanting to hold my hand. This night is just full of surprises. I tentatively reach for her hand and she allows me to grasp it in mine. She allows me to hold it and I admit to squeezing a few times through the exam. I can't explain how happy I was when Dr. Ludwig finally gently pushed my legs together.

"Evidence of some minor tearing but nothing too extreme. It actually looks to have healed nicely already."

"Shouldn't we get Eric back in here," I ask.

"Are you sure you want him in for the results of the exam?"

"I told him we would let him know when the exam is over." Ludwig looked me over and then said simply that I was the patient and Pam went to get Eric.

He came into the room and immediately asked me if I was ok. I gave him a smile and a small nod that earned me a small smile from him.

"As I was saying there was a bit of blood that could have meant some minor tearing but they seemed to have healed."

"Why hasn't her neck healed then," Eric asks.

"The scar on her side, who helped fix that," Ludwig asks instead of answering Eric's question.

Eric looks upset he wasn't answered but explained, "Ray Don and then she had some of my blood as well."

Ludwig nods as if she somehow expected it as she examines the wound on my neck. I shudder a bit as she touches it. "You said she exhibited signs of shock after the attack?"

Attack – is that what we were calling it? Was that what it was? I didn't want to think about it at the moment. After Eric explained that yes I was in shock Ludwig explains, "Your blood would still be in her system and its first priority would be to get her out of shock so no damage is done to her organs. It then seemed to be able to fix other minor wounds. But the neck wound is wide enough it will need help."

"What kind of help," I ask.

"I can stitch it up, we can apply some vampire blood directly on the wound, or have a vampire clean the wound. The healing factors in the saliva should be enough to act as a sort of trigger and help Eric's blood in your system close it completely."

"No stitches," I say quickly. They would be sure to leave a bad scar. No it's not that I'm vain, I am just trying to avoid having to explain the scars. People around Bon Temps already call me 'Crazy Sookie.' I don't want to give them any more ammo against me.

"If your against stitches then my job is done," says Ludwig. "I will send you my bill Northman."

"Thanks for coming Doctor," I call out a bit hesitantly at her abrupt exit, but she had already walked through the door. I guess she didn't see a need to stay until I was all healed up. Should I take that as a good sign? I look to Eric and tell him, "When she sends you the bill let me know and I will pay for it."

"You will not."

"Eric you don't need to pay for me."

"It was a vampire that hurt you. A vampire who lived in my Area."

"It wasn't just a random vampire in your Area," I yell to him. "It was Bill. It was my boyfriend. It was someone who said he loved me." I cannot stop the sobs that exit my chest. The good thing about the shock is it kept me from breaking down. I do not want to break down in Alcide's bed. I do not want to break down in front of anyone let alone two vampires. I want to break down in my comfy pajamas, in my own bed, with no one watching. But once my cries start, I can't choke them back.

A huge thank-you to those who have tried out this story and added it to their alerts. A special thanks to those who took the time to review the first chapter. I hope you liked this one as well. Poor Sookie has quite the night ahead of her still. She's going to be a little bit inconsistent with dealing with what happened for the first part of the story before it really hits her.

Next week's update may be later in the weekend or pushed to Monday because if all goes well I will be moving into my condo! But really how often to things go well?