two: [don't wake up]

Two weeks later found me collapsed on the strangely thin mattress on the tatami-mat floor (futon, it's a futon), curled into a ball and gripping my head in my hands.

This couldn't be happening. It couldn't.

(Impossible. It's impossible.)

I squeezed my eyes shut and blocked out the nagging voice in the back of my mind. It was annoying (like always).

It was a dream. It was just a dream- but what if it wasn't? I'd heard of reincarnation before- the cycle of rebirth. However, wasn't it that your memories were wiped, and you were given a clean slate to start over with?

Well, whatever. None of this mattered in the end. I would wake up soon. It'd all be fine. I would have to apologize to my friends, though, for leaving them for a while. (It was very inconsiderate of me, wasn't it?)

Ahahaha, I wonder when (if) I'll wake up.

It's been a while.

(Did the nurses forget about me? Did they forget the 'waking up' factor of a coma? (Did they forget to pull the plug?))

This really was a strange dream, a strange dream about the world of Naruto. I hadn't read or watched it in a while- I wonder why my mind chose to conjure up this of all things.

Unless it's not a dream, and I really did die and I ended up in this body in the world of Naruto in which it's certain I will be dead before I reach puberty (judging by the state of the village. There's no Fourth Hokage on the monument. Yes, yes, I'm screwed.).

But it wasn't, it was a dream, just a strange dream. It's not like I could feel, had felt, the ground beneath my feet, the gentle touch of the wind, the rough callouses on Inoichi-nii's hands.

What's the word for it, again?

Ah, lucid.

It was a lucid dream. Just that.

I tried to move on from those thoughts as I turned over on the mattress (futon), eyes narrowed. I'd noticed strange buzzing energy around me- around everyone- since the day I'd wandered into this dream. It was a calming feeling, but still different. Foreign.

I could reach out to it, hold onto it, pull on it. Mold it to my will, make it move. I could see it, a burning flame of various colors within peoples' cores. What was it? Probably chakra- Inoichi-nii mentioned it. Weird- my mind really did make up the strangest things (or was it in Naruto? But, if it was and I didn't know, how did I dream this-).

Anyways, it was kind of cool. I could see my own 'chakra' floating around me, not contained and reeled in like Inoichi-nii's. He said it required training. (There was no point since I was going to wake up soon).

It was lilac, like my namesake. I had very little of it compared to Inoichi-nii's and some of the other adults I'd seen walking around, but I had more than other kids my age. Inoichi-nii said it was because I was the child of two full-fledged ninja and a clan kid. I trusted him (even though he wasn't real).

So, to get back on track, I wanted to test out whether or not I could actually make it physical. I can see it easily, subconsciously, sure, but nobody else I knew could. I wanted to try this, just for the sake of it- after all, I only had so long before I woke up. (Right. Yes. That's the plan.)

By this point I was already sitting up on my futon, staring at my hand in deep concentration. I felt my chakra, from within and around me, shifting and moving and I pulled.

It didn't come easily like usual. It resisted.

Beads of sweat were beginning to form on my brow, sliding down my face as I glowered at my hand.

And then, finally, something within my chakra snapped.

Lilac-colored light engulfed my hand, and my eyes lit up in joy. Ahah! I'd done it! I'd managed to mold my chakra!

As I was about to call for Inoichi-nii- who was in the other room- my hand began to sting.

The stinging grew more and more painful by every second until my entire hand was engulfed in a horrible burning sensation; like it was being stabbed and stabbed and stabbed again and then engulfed in fire and acid and it hurt so so much.

The feeling spread to the rest of me.

So I did the only sensible thing.

I screamed.

And everything went black.

I opened my eyes.

I was in a white room: white walls, white floors, white ceiling, white furniture, white bed and bed sheets, white doors.

...A hospital?

I was attached to an IV drip. There was a heart monitor and other machines I didn't recognize. Bandages were wrapped around my right hand.

Why was I in the hospital? This was a dream, I couldn't be hurt-

And then it hit me.

I had used chakra. I had hurt myself.

I had bled.

I had felt pain.

This- this wasn't a dream.

All of this was real.

I died, and I was reincarnated into the Naruto world.

I promptly passed out once more.

The next time I woke up, Inoichi-nii was sitting next to me, head in his hands. He looked guilty.

A wave of guilt and regret washed over me, and I hesitantly moved to sit up. He responded immediately, head snapping upwards and eyes zeroing in on me. He was tense, looking sad and angry and irritated and relieved all at once. I wonder how that's possible.

He sighed deeply and I shifted uncomfortably. I didn't like it when Inoichi-nii was upset. When he was upset, he was… scary.

You didn't want to be on the receiving end of Inoichi-nii when he was mad. I pray that he's only upset.

"Shion," he began and I winced because he didn't use my nickname and that probably meant I was in some deep shit, "what in the world possessed you to even think about trying to mold your chakra? Haven't I told you that it's dangerous? That you could die?"

I winced once more and lowered my head.

"You could have died, Shion. Died, and it would've been my fault because I was a fucking idiot who left you unsupervised and told you about molding chakra and didn't even think of the repercussions! And- and you would be gone!" He continued, his voice cracking slightly at the end.

Tears pricked my own eyes automatically (I suppose it comes with being a child again- again?)) as I struggled to form a response.

"I-I'm s-sorry, I-Inoichi-nii! I-I j-just w-wanted to s-show y-you that I c-could d-do it, 'c-cause y-you s-said t-that o-only p-people w-with the b-best c-chakra c-control could b-become m-medics, and I- and I just wanted to show you, I didn't mean for this to happen and I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-!"

I was cut off by Inoichi-nii pulling me into a hug. And I remembered that no, this wasn't a dream- this was real, my cousin was real, my clan was real, it was all real.

My tiny hands fisted his shirt as I sobbed into his shoulder (I don't know why, why am I crying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-). His hands were four times the size of my own, holding me to himself, and I distantly realized that he could kill me at that moment faster than I could even try to blink. But I didn't really care; I was too far gone to do so, anyway.

"It's okay, Shi-chan. You're okay, and you're not going to do something like this ever again, are you?" Inoichi murmured.

"I- I w-w-won't!" I sobbed.

Inoichi hummed quietly, pulling me even closer to himself. I don't know when it happened, but eventually, after what felt like hours of uncontrollable sobbing (because I died and I was never going back home), I fell asleep peacefully in my cousin's arms.

Second chapter. Whooo! Ah, so, you know; you're not supposed to feel actual, uhm, horrifyingly realistic agony in dreams, and Shion started bleeding and it really hurt like hell.

So.

She's come to the realization that- bare with me- this is a) not a dream and b) she probably won't ever be able to go back home (which isn't actually a problem to her).

Okay, I actually don't know jack shit about lucid dreams but, just, for the sake of the story? It just kind of dawns on her? Okay?

I'm shit at this kind of stuff. Sorry.

Publication Date: 4/10/19

Word count: 1340