My sister-in-law, Hannah, is half my size, but I'm hard pressed to keep up with her. She's got a maternal streak a mile wide and chasing for a lost kid is right up her alley. She powers ahead of me searching desperately.
"We search for Tim about three times a year." I explain, trying to reassure her. "He just loses his bearings or forgets the time. He used to have a dog, a beautiful Australian shepherd who would herd him like a calf - pushing him home at the right time, but he died two years back. Tim won't accept another dog."
"It's pretty cold." She answers.
Hannah's awfully pretty. I'll give my brother that and she is as sweet as can be. The babies fell in love with her day one. I'd have to be a hard-hearted monster not to melt at the sight of my baby brother resting his head on her shoulder.
But I'm protective of my brothers - especially Adam. He's had enough pain and anguish in his life. Hannah is so small and fragile - anything could happen to her. Losing Mom and Dad was something we've managed to survive, but losing her would be the end of him. He'd be destroyed. One of us has got to protect us, so I hold myself aloof. That way when the painful days come, one of us will be strong enough to help the others survive it. It is my job to make sure that there will be someone to help him if he ever loses her. People are pretty fragile things and it is dangerous to care about them. So I'll play the bad guy, and keep her at arm's length for Adam's sake. At least that was my theory, but I'm starting to find it harder and harder to hold myself away.
"How long does it usually take?" She asks me as we all pause to drink some water.
"Just about an hour or so." I tell her but all the while I'm looking at Vanessa Gibbon who is also in our search party. She's beautiful but still so furious with me because I stood her up last year. Ford had the flu and I couldn't leave, but she was not understanding about it at all. Hannah follows my line of sight.
"She's pretty. She keeps watching you." She says looking at Vanessa.
"We went out for a bit." I confess. "But she wasn't keen on instant motherhood." I explain. "Not too many woman are." I sigh.
"I imagine not." She grins at me, revealing her dimples. I glance away shaking my head at her.
"Just the crazy ones." I tell her, and she laughs out loud.
"Or the ones who've been tricked." We start moving again then, and there's no more time for talk, but I wonder at it.
She was tricked. Adam talked to her all about us, but never mentioned that she'd be living with all of us. I can still see the look on her face when I told her that we all lived in "her" house. I said it harshly too. I wanted her to leave, but she's pretty damn stubborn, and loves my brother right down to her soul. She stayed. I don't think I would say it harshly now, knowing what I know. Her leaving him even on that very first day would have crushed and destroyed my brother. From the first second he met her, it was already too late.
We continue and it is as the night drags on that I'm filled with dark foreboding. Tim's never been missing this long.
"You're worried." She says glancing my way. She's pretty good at reading every one of us. It is kind of impressive really. 'Course it wouldn't take a genius to pick up on my worry right now.
"He's never been missing this long." I say, shifting my backpack. "Something doesn't feel right."
"Yeah." She agrees looking up at me with those damn big, brown eyes of hers.
Mom had brown eyes, and nose that turned up just a tiny bit at the end just like Hannah. Looking at her is a little painful because she looks a little bit like our mom - just enough to remind you. Adam says he never even noticed it, until Crane mentioned it.
"Seriously?" I asked him disbelieving.
"The kind of thinking I was doing about Hannah," He explained blushing. "Well, Mom never once came to mind."
"Oh." I said. I can understand that, I guess. It is weird for me to think of her that way though, after all, she's my sister.
Sister.
The word pops out unbidden and I realize that all my stupid attempts to keep her away and protect myself for Adam's sake, have been useless. I glance at her and sigh, recognizing all my feelings for her. Damn it to hell! I almost say it out loud.
I'm so caught up in my inner thoughts that I don't see everyone stop right at first. It isn't until she grabs me by the arm saying, "Brian!" sharply that I look where everyone is now pointing.
No.
He must have fallen over the edge and we can see him down below us. He is so still and we can't tell from here if he's breathing. I sigh. This sucks! I think. His leg is bent at weird angle - definitely broken. Everyone is moving into action; getting a rope ready and a backboard out. I glance over at Hannah who is closest to the edge. The look in her eyes . . . and suddenly I realize what she'll do and I turn to try and stop her or at least slow her down, but it is too late. I watch as she recklessly scrambles down the face of the cliff.
"Wait!" I yell. "Hannah! Damnit! Wait!" I run and peer over the edge, my heart hammering in my chest.