The four adventurers were standing in the cockpit of the Starbug when a beautiful, glowing ship appeared before them.

"Camelot," breathed Lister.

"Camelot," Rimmer repeated.

"Camelot," Cat said because everyone else was doing it.

"It's only a model," Kryten said, staring at his scanners.

"What?!" said Rimmer, rushing over to see for himself. "But we must find the Camelot to meet the Knights of the Round Table! We have no hope of finding the Holy Dwarf without them!"

"It's not a model," Lister said, himself staring at the scanners. "Look, it's got no mass. It's a holoship."

Everyone turned to stare at Rimmer, who backed away uneasily. "Look, you've got to, man. It's our only hope. We can't go over there, but you can. Just switch over to soft light, teleport over, and tell us what you see." Lister paused, and then added for emphasis. "Brave Sir Robin."

Rimmer straightened up and tried to make himself look important. "You're right. I must go. Alone. Into the dark."

"Yep," said Lister, grabbing the teleporter and pointing it at Rimmer. "Bye."

"So this is where we get on with the real mission, then, right?" Cat asked, ready to send the engines into overdrive.

"No," Lister said with a grin. "He comes back."

"Since you have seen the movie the game is based on, why did you have to send Mr. Rimmer at all?" asked Kryten. "You know what is over there, and since it is a soft light holoship, anything on it is of no use to us anyway."

Lister's grin widened. "You'll see."

A few moments later, Rimmer reappeared in the navigation room. His hair was disheveled, his holographic clothes dirty, and bruises lined his jaw. He waved a hand in front of the light bee, switching himself back to hard light mode. "Let's not go to Camelot," he said after a moment. "It is a silly place."

"What's happening, dudes?" a voice said as a familiar bald head appeared on the front window.

"Holly!" Lister shouted. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm part of the game. It seems I've been cast into the role of God."

"It's great to see you, Hol," Lister said excitedly. "How do we get out of here?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" the computer asked.

"Yeah, an iron," Cat said, tugging at his sleeves. "All my creases are in the wrong places. I don't know how people survived in the Dark Ages. I would have died from lack of fashion."

"No, no," Holly responded. "I mean, I am God now. My IQ is so high I haven't invented a number for it yet. Shouldn't you be grovelling or averting your eyes or something? Only seems respectful."

"You wish," said Rimmer. "The only thing that makes me avert my eyes is Lister's personal grooming habits, and that's only out of revulsion."

"Wait a minute, Hol," Lister said. "We're supposed to grovel and avert our eyes, and then you tell us not to."

"Why would I do a thing like that?"

Lister shrugged. "You find it annoying, I guess."

"I'll never understand you humans' fascination with religion," Holly said, shaking his head. "It's inconsistencies like this that made the idea of a god fail in every other civilized society."

Rimmer sighed exasperatedly. "Look, you senile lump of rusty circuitry, just tell us how to get out of this game. I'll put some fruit on my head and do the hula if you want, just get us back to Starbug!"

"It's not as easy as you think," Holly said. "You've got to complete your quest."

"But I have completed my quest," Cat protested. "I've been voted the Universe's Sexiest Cat five years running! Can I go back, now?"

Lister shook his head. "Not that quest, Cat. The quest that has driven mankind for centuries. The Holy Grail."

"Dwarf, sir," Kryten corrected. "The Holy Dwarf. You said so yourself."

"Well, that is kind of our own personal Holy Grail, isn't it?" Lister asked. "The game has thrown in bits and pieces of our reality into the story. God becomes Holly, and the Grail becomes the Dwarf. Maybe the game is some kind of clue as the the Dwarf's location." He turned to Holly. "So how do we find it, then, Holly?"

"You're not going to like it," the computer responded, then paused and looked towards Rimmer. "Well, he is, but the rest of you aren't."

"What, Holly?" Rimmer asked. "What is it I'm going to like?"

"Aliens."

"Aliens?"

"Aliens," the computer repeated. "Real, live aliens. You'll find the universe has shifted somewhat since you joined the game. You've got to go to the nearest planet, and use your wits and intellect to convince its inhabitants to join you. It's the only way."

Rimmer looked panicked. "Are you sure there isn't any other way?"

"Thanks, Holly," Lister said. "See you on the Dwarf."

Holly smiled. "Good luck, guys," he said before he faded off the screen. The four guys looked at eachother askance.

Finally, Lister said, "Well, that's it, guys. Kryten, where's the nearest planet?"

"About 2 days away, sir, in a north easterly direction."

Lister clapped his hands together and hopped into his seat at the helm. "Alright, then. Cat, lay in a course. Time to go impress some aliens. Let's just hope they don't use chopsticks."