Chapter 2: Man's Best Friend, Sky's Worst Enemy.

Meanwhile, at S.P.D., Sky was still in his room relaxing. He was contentedly perusing the pages of the S.P.D. handbook. Suddenly (and unfortunately) Bridge burst in.

"Hey, Sky, I made a new best friend! Want to meet him?" Bridge asked in the most disturbingly cheerful voice.

Sky sighed. "No, Bridge I don't. But if you absolutely don't have anything better to do than torture me with your findings on the street, than by all means, show me.

"Great!" Bridge said. "Just wait until you see him, he's the cutest." Bridge poked his head out the door. "Come here, Dumpster." He called. Dumpster panted and slowly dragged himself into Bridge and Sky's room. It was a wonder he made it through the doorway. He looked plaintively at Sky.

"URROUMPGH!"

"Holy shit what IS THAT THING?!" Sky screamed. He stared in repulsed horror as he bore witness to the world's most hideous, ugly, fat, disgusting, sloppy dog.

Bridge beamed. "He's my new puppy! What do you think?"

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Sky answered.

"Now, Sky." Bridge started. But Sky was beyond listening to Bridge ramble. He ran over to the side table dresser, grabbed the lamp off its stand, then threw it at Dumpster. He missed, but Dumpster was upset about it, all the same.

"URROUMPGH! URROUMPGH!" Dumpster protested.

"Dumpster! Settle down, boy." Bridge soothed. Then he turned to Sky and gave him a hurt look. "Sky, what was THAT for? That was so mean."

Sky looked to Bridge, appalled. "Wait a minute. You actually named that thing?"

"Of course I did. Dumpster is my new best friend. Unlike you, the very man who said that I was an 'idiot.'" Bridge said, using air quotation marks.

"Well can you see why?" Sky asked. "You go and you drag home garbage like that. It's a disgrace to S.P.D., to humanity, that thing probably isn't even a dog. I think it's just a slag mass."

Bridge rolled his eyes. "That's not true, Sky. He is a dog, and a beautiful one at that."

"Ugh." Sky said. "No. You cannot bring that thing into my room."

"It's not just your bedroom, Sky. It's our bedroom. That we share."

Sky glared at him. "No, Bridge, as I stated previously, it is not our room. It is my room, which I happen to share with an idiot."

Bridge grinned. "And now you share it with an idiot and a dog!" He exclaimed happily.

"Bridge." Sky said through his gritted teeth. "If you do not get that horrible thing out of my room, I will kick you so hard in the pooper . . . "

But Bridge cut him off again. "Sky, you can't kick me out. I have to care for this wonderful creature. Besides, he's already eaten half of your bed. Now we're probably going to have to share a room and a bed. It's gonna be cozy!"

"What!!" Sky screamed. He looked at his bed, and sure enough, it was half-eaten and there was Dumpster, chewing on the last bite he'd taken. Sky was about to continue chewing out Bridge, but his scream had disturbed Dumpster, who responded by making a most horrible sound.

"URROUMPGH!"

"THAT'S IT! I can't take any more. Fine, Bridge, you win. It's obvious that I can't have anything anymore. You stole my room, my sanity, my good pantyhose, you made it smell bad in here, and now your DUMPSTER RAISED HIDEOUS BEAST has eaten MY BED! I am out of here. I never want to see you or that awful THING ever, ever again!" And with that, Sky stormed out of their room, slammed the door, and then, by chance, ran into Jack.

"Hey, what's up, Sky? You seem kinda tweaked." Jack said.

"Jack, whatever you do, DON'T GO IN MY ROOM FOR ANY REASON!" Sky yelled. Then he stormed off, leaving a confused Jack standing outside his bedroom door.

"Hmm. I wonder what that was about." Jack mused aloud. "I'd better see what's up."

Jack walked to the doorway of Sky and Bridge's room. He knocked on the door.

"Come in." Bridge called.

Jack opened the door. Dumpster was sitting in the corner of the room, and Bridge was sitting on the floor a few feet away, reading a book. He looked up at Jack.

"Hey, Jack. What do you need?" Bridge asked.

"I just saw Sky, and he looked pretty upset, he told me not to . . . " Jack trailed off when he saw the bizarre bio-mass Bridge had for a pet. Jack did not, however, understand that the freakish wad was a dog (of sorts), inasmuch as the creature's head had recessed into the rolls of fat that might have been its neck. "Hey, Bridge, where did you get that weird beanbag chair?"

Bridge laughed. "That's not a beanbag chair, Jack."

Jack looked confused. "What?" He asked.

Dumpster decided to take this moment to poke his head out of his fat mass and utter a terrible sound.

"URROUMPGH!"

"AAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Jack screamed in horror. He didn't know what disturbed him more: The freakish, oozy, slimefilth dog, or the sound it made. And at this point, he didn't care. Poor Jack ran screaming out of Bridge and Sky's room. He made it about twenty feet before he ran into Z and Syd, knocking them over.

"Ouch!" Z and Syd cried in unison. Syd put her hands on her hips and asked, in a very put-off tone, "What was THAT for?"

"Sorry." Jack said plainly. He was still freaked out about the whole Dumpster thing, and he was shaking visibly.

"Hey, Jack, are you okay?" Z asked.

"Yeah." Syd agreed. "What happened?"

Jack looked them dead in the eye. "Whatever you do, don't go into Bridge's room. It's . . . it's horrible in there!" And with that, Jack was gone.

Z and Syd exchanged puzzled looks. "So . . . You wanna go to Bridge's room?" Z asked.

Syd grinned. "Sure. Let's go."

So Z and Syd made their way to Bridge's room. They found him leaning up against Dumpster, whose head was sucked into his fat, sloppy neck once more. Bridge was contentedly reading a comic book. He looked up at them.

"Hey, guys. What's up?" Bridge asked.

Z and Syd looked around his room. "We came to see if everything was all right." Z said.

"Yeah. We saw Jack run out of here screaming, and we figured something must be up, because it usually takes something really horrible to make the Red Ranger scream and run."

"Everything's fine." Bridge insisted. "Jack just got a little startled by my new puppy. Want to meet him? He's really cute."

"Cute, eh?" Syd asked. "Well, okay. Where is he?"

"He's right here." Bridge said. He pointed to Dumpster, who was curled up behind Bridge's head.

Z looked confused. "Where is he? I don't see him."

"Maybe he's stuck in that hideous beanbag chair." Syd suggested.

Bridge laughed like a beached whale that had washed up on a beach covered in rusty nails. "No, Syd. This isn't a beanbag chair. This is my sweet, adorable puppy. Z, Syd, meet Dumpster."

"Dumpster? That's what you named it?" Syd asked, her tone perfectly conveying her disgust.

But before Bridge could answer, Dumpster poked his head out of his fat mass and made the most horrible sound that had ever been beheld by Z or Syd.

"URROUMPGH!"

"YIIIIKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEE!!" Syd and Z shrieked in horror. Syd ran away as fast as her skinny legs could carry her. Z, however, was considerably less fortunate. She was so repulsed by the mutant that now occupied S.P.D., she threw up all over Bridge's floor. Bridge was delighted.

"All right, thanks, Z. Dumpster, dinner!" Bridge called.

Dumpster's eyes widened, and he looked upon Z's face with lust. He dragged himself over to her as fast as he could (which was not very fast.)

Z watched in continual horror. "Bridge, what the HELL IS HE DOING?!" She shrieked.

Bridge smiled. "Oh, that. See, when you threw up, the sound you made probably sounded like a mating call to him. He wants to take you up on your offer."

"Th-that's . . . THAT'S THE MOST HORRIBLE THING I'VE EVER HEARD!" Z screamed.

Bridge gave her a sympathetic look. "Well, unfortunately, that's not all. He probably wants to go for your shin, then make a pass at your other leg."

"I AM SO OUTTA HERE!" Z screamed. She ran out of there, leaving Dumpster with only Bridge, and her vomit for his lunch.