Alright. This is the second chapter. I'm updating everything today. Or all that I have time to do. You must understand that I get all my funny stuff from the stories my friends and I make up when we hang out. (Yes, we are big geeks) Since we are on break, I don't have much stuff but I'll try my hardest to melt your brain with funny sht.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
"Naraku never said anything about this." Bankotsu said seethingly. He could now say that he absolutely hated Naraku and whatever plan he had here. Was he trying to lure Sesshoumaru in or was he trying to torture him? Either way, it wasn't worth this.
Bankotsu glanced down at the flower necklace that adorned his neck. It had matching bracelets, rings, and crowns. Lots of matching bracelets, rings, and crowns. He stopped the hand that was applying homemade eyeshadow to his lids. He glared at the mushed up purple flowers with disdain. It was too light for his skin.
"I think that's enough for today." He had gotten scared of the girl. Before he would have broken her dainty wrist with a twitch of his fingers. Now he wasn't too sure he wanted to see her reaction. She was, after all, Sesshoumaru's mate. He, more than likely, had taught her how to defend herself. It was obvious that she had devised her own typed of torture.
"There is never enough beauty. Especially for you." She said while jerking her wrist away. Bankotsu's eye twitched. Was she calling him ugly? There were plenty of gorgeous women who would love to marry him. Okay not marry. He was a mean mother freaker. Maybe a one night stand was all they wanted. But still, ugly?!
"Now Sesshoumaru...he's a sight to behold." Rin said with a sigh. Bankotsu's eyes widened. The last thing he wanted to hear was someone else's wild nights. He got enough of that from Jakotsu. And about Sesshoumaru?! That was disgusting.
"He is such a beast." Bankotsu gagged.
"Alright. That's enough of that." Rin looked startled from her reverie. She tugged a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Oh that's right. You don't know about those kind of things." Rin giggled behind her hand. That was the third time that she had insulted him about his love life. He whipped around to face her.
"Look here little girl. I'm a bad man. Women love bad men. I've had more experience than you'll ever get. And I'm still going so good luck trying to catch up!" Rin cocked an eyebrow and smirked.
"Catch up to what? You're old butt? If you were actually alive right now you'd be wrinkled and bent. No one would want you. I don't see why anyone wants you now. You're not alive." She paused. "I keep on forgetting though. You and you're brothers have something going. That explains everything." Bankotsu visibly steamed from the ears and his face turned red.
"Look. I get plenty of women, whether I'm dead or alive. And Jakotsu is the only one who's GAY!!" he said while pointing a finger at her.
"Who's gay?" someone said from the entrance of the cave. Both Bankotsu and Rin turned to see Renkotsu in the opening.
"Re-re!" Rin exclaimed.
"Re-re?" Renkotsu asked. That kind of caught him off guard. The woman that stood in front of him also caught him off guard. Last time, Rin had been a little girl. But then he died again and now she's a full blown woman.
"I have necklaces for you to Re-re!! They should fit around your big head so no need to undo them." A vein pulsed out of Renkotsu's head.
A full blown annoying woman. He started to back away when she approached him with the damn things. But only slightly. Bankotsu raced over to his brother, braid whipping behind him.
"Brother! You have to help me! She's killing me." Bankotsu begged. Renkotsu seemed to think about this for a while with a tilt of his chin.
"Well, maybe if I was persuaded with more shikon shards..." Bankotsu's eyes bulged at the statement. He stepped back and crossed his arms.
"After all these years you still seek power. You still want to take it from me. I, the noblest, smartest, oldest, and most handsome of the group." He inclined his chin and shut his eyes hoping that made him more convincing. It didn't.
Renkotsu scowled at the near insults. "That's debatable." Bankotsu shot him a smirk.
"Oh, you wanna debate?" He drew Banryu with a swift motion of his arm. "Let's debate." Renkotsu hefted his bazooka up on his shoulder seemingly out of nowhere. Bankotsu shifted his stance.
"I've always wondered where you keep that thing." Bankotsu said quizzically.
"I'll tell you after you're dead." He fixed his aim and crouched for balance.
"Uh, guys?!" Rin said, successfully stopping the men. "I hate to interrupt your brawl but I'd rather not be stuck in the middle of a blood bath." Both bothers rolled their eyes.
"Right. We'll kill the whelp first and then we'll continue." Renkotsu said. Bankotsu waved his arms in the air.
"No! We can't do that. I have direct orders from Naraku not to kill her." Renkotsu put the bazooka down and leaned on it.
"You mean that bastard is still alive? Man, I hate hanyous." Bankotsu flopped down on a rock and Rekotsu sat down on one opposite him. Neither of them noticed Rin scoot over to them.
"I don't like this conversation. Let's talk about hair." she said while twirling a strand between fingers.
"Two reason why we shouldn't." Renkotsu said. He ticked the points off on his fingers.
"One, we're guys. We don't talk about hair. Two, I don't have any." He rubbed his bald head for emphasis. Rin sat there with a thoughtful expression on her face.
"That's okay!" she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "You can talk about mine." Renkotsu stared at her with pure hate.
"I hate Naraku." Bankotsu sighed. Renkotsu glared.
"I hate you! You said this was a life or death situation. Not babysitting!!"
"Calm down re-re. Down have an aneurism."
"What does re-re mean anyway?" Renkotsu growled.
"Oh, it means retarded reject. Get it? Re-re?" Rin chirped enthusiastically.
"It couldn't take Sesshoumaru this long to get here. He knows what's going on and is laughing at our suffering." Bankotsu pouted on the rock he sat on.
In actuality, Sesshoumaru didn't know exactly what was going on but he knew that Rin could handle it. Besides, they'd beg for whatever Rin was giving them after he got a hold on them.
Okay!!! This is one of the fanfics I haven't updated in a long time. It might be a while before I get the next one up too. But I might be persuaded to do it sooner if you review...a lot. Until next time, keep reading and reviewing!!