The last week went by fast, and before I knew it, it was Tuesday night. With graduation tomorrow, and my flight to New York scheduled for Friday evening, I was a bundle of nerves. I had told Aiden last Wednesday about the internship, he was bummed I hadn't told him sooner, but was surprisingly excited for me. He even said he would try to make a trip out to visit me in early August. For reasons I can't explain, I wasn't too fond of the idea. I loved Aiden, don't get me wrong. We have been dating for almost 8 months, and he was a wonderful boyfriend. It just felt like there was something missing. We didn't have that spark, that passion. It was safe, comfortable. We barely had sex anymore, not for his lack of trying. I was just never in the mood. Aidens a good looking guy by anyones standards. 6'1, black hair, green eyes, a body to die for, and a dazzling smile. There must be something wrong with me to not fall madly in love with him, right?

I pushed the thoughts of Aiden out of my mind and tried to get comfortable. I thought about the experience i was going to have in New York, and the excitement of going to university in September, but my thoughts kept drifting back to my strained relationship. I finally fell into a restless sleep.

Graduation had been kind of boring to be honest. When my name was called and I walked across the stage to get my diploma, I heard hoots and hollers coming from where Glen and the rest of my family was sitting. I caught Aidens eye and he beamed at me. "I love you." He mouthed, holding my gaze. "You too." I mouthed back before exiting the stage.

After everone got their diplomas, and our caps were thrown in the air, I went back to my house to have a celebratory dinner with my family. Aiden was upset when my mother told him they wanted some family time with me before I left for New York in three days. He had been trying to spend every waking minute with me after finding out about the internship, and while it was a sweet gesture he was starting to get on my nerves. He had been super supportive at first, but now I would catch him staring at me with a sad look on his face. I could tell he didn't want me to leave.

xxx

I was wandering around downtown Vancouver, Bristish Columbia. My first stop in Canada before playing two shows in Toronto, and then one in Montreal. It was a beautiful city. I walked past a small cafe and decided I could use some caffeine. As I walked up to order, I saw a small frown on the attractive female baristas face before realization dawned on her.

"Oh my god, Ashley Davies! I'm seeing you play tonight!" She said excitedly, a huge grin on her face. "What can I get for you?"

"Just a medium coffee, black." I say, smiling back at the girl. She was quite the looker. 5'6, blue eyes, long brown hair fell past her shoulders in loose curls, faded ripped skinny jeans that hung a little loosely off her hips, with a tight black t-shirt under her apron. She caught me checking her out from the other side of the counter and smirked.

"Coming right up." She purred as she turned around and started pouring the cup of coffee. And she has a great ass,Ii thought to myself before she turned back around to face me. I got my wallet out of my purse, but before I could pull my cash out she covered my hand in hers.

"No charge." She said with a wink, pulling her hand away from mine.

"Thank you." I say, turning towards the door. "Hope you enjoy the show tonight." I say over my shoulder, winking back at her. As I exit the cafe, I take a sip of my coffee and look at the travel cup its in. Mel: 555 767 0291 is written on it with a black sharpie. Smiling, I make a mental note to text her that night. It had been almost two weeks since i'd gotten laid and I was starting to feel the sexual frusteration.

It wasn't uncommon for girls to throw themselves at me, it had been happening since I hit puberty. I had never had a significant relationship with a girl, the only relationship I ever had that actually meant something was with Aiden in freshman year. We figured out after it was over that we worked much better as friends. It always felt like something was missing with him. The whole me being gay thing probably had something to do with it. Even still, whenever I was with girls it was never more than a fuck. I had never been in love, and was starting to think the whole idea of love was pretty silly. That it didn't actually exist. I knew that if I did hook up with the barista tonight, she would be gone before the morning and I would probably forget it ever even happened.

I continued this train of thought until I reached my hotel. A group of paprazzi were waiting in the lobby when I walked in.

"Ashley! Over here!"

"Can you comment on the recent drug accusations?"

"Who are you dating, Ashley?"

They shouted over eachother as the flash of their cameras hit my eyes. Pushing through them, i managed to get on the elevator in one piece. I hit the button for my floor, and waited as it carried me up. Reaching the 17th floor, I walked to my room and swiped the key card. Opening the door to my suite, i went straight for the mini bar and grabbed a beer. I flicked on the news and laid on the king size bed with my back against the head board. I sat up immediately as the reporters words registered.

"Next week is the one year anniversery of Raife Davies death. The world renowned musician passed away last June in a fiery car crash in downtown Los Angeles. His daughter, Ashley Davies, is on tour supporting her new album, and will be playing a concert in Vancouver tonight..."

I turned the tv off and covered my face in my hands. I tried to shake away the thoughts of my father, but it was no use. Setting my beer down on the night stand, I slipped under the covers and shut my eyes. I didn't try to control the tears as they slid down my cheeks. I laid there sobbing for quite sometime, before sleep claimed me.

xxx

I looked around the huge airport frantically, trying to figure out where the hell terminal 2 exit was. I finally spotted it and started towards it, towing my giant suitcase behind me.

I had just landed in New York. The flight had been fine, but the goodbye's before it were brutal. Aiden actually cried. Literal tears. I felt so awkward. i'd never seen him cry before and i couldn't help but think he was being a little dramatic. He made me promise him to call him at least once a day, and text all the time. My own mother didn't even cry, but there was Aiden, squeezing the breath out of me in a hug with tears streaming down his face. I actually patted him on the back. You know that awkward pat you give a drunk person whos venting and sobbing, except you don't know them very well and dont know what to do with yourself? Yup. I, Spencer Carlin, gave my boyfriend the awkward back pat. I'm pretty sure it just made him cry more.

I exited the airport and hailed a cab. I gave the driver my address and relaxed back into the seat. MTV had hooked me up with an apartment about a block away from the office. Since it was an unpaid internship, they covered my rent for the next two months. I still had to find a part time job to pay for everything else. As we pulled up to the apartment building, I saw Lily standing just inside the doors. Grabbing my suitcase from the trunk i ran towards the sliding glass doors, a little too quickly. I ran smack into them, hitting my face off the glass. I fell back and landed directly on my butt, my suitcase falling beside me.

"Oh my god, Spencer!" Lily said, laughing hysterically. I looked up at her, slightly dazed from the blow to my head. I smiled sheepishly as she bent over to help me up.

"I got a little excited." I explained as i dusted myself off.

Lily was still chuckling, "Yeah I can see that. Very smooth, Spence."

We started towards the elevator and chatted, catching up. It had been a month since i'd spoken to her last. We got to my room and I was taken aback by the sight in front of me. It was a small studio apartment. Open concept, the kitchen, bedroom, and living room were one big room. The kitchen was moden with all stainless steel appliances, and the living room had a three seater couch, a recliner chair, a coffee table, and a huge tv hung up on the wall directly across from the couch. With giant sliding glass doors behind the recliner that led out to a blacony. There was a big sheet-like seperator hung up on the left side of the room. Pulling it back there was a queen size bed with a night stand beside it, and a dresser pushed up against the wall on the right side of the bed. I continued to wander around the apartment. There was a small hallway beside the bedroom with a door at the end of it. Opening the door i stepped into the fairly spacious bathroom. It had a nice size tub with a stand up shower to the left of it. With a toilet and sink on the other side of the room.

I walked back into the other room and Lily helped me unpack my suitcase. Once i was settled, we spent the night talking about my intership. She told me what time to be there on Monday morning, and what the job entailed. Basically I was going to be the office bitch. I'd get there coffee, make their copies, and do anything the boss told me to. But i would also be helping on an upcoming project Lily and her team were working on. They were shooting a piece on New York's underground music scene.

As I walked lily down to the lobby of the building, i felt the excitement building in me. I was in a city i'd never been to before, where I only knew one person, and had two months of indepence here. I had an internship for the most popular media company in the world. As I hugged her goodbye, she put her lips to my ear.

"You will do great, Spencer Carlin." She whispered, pulling back and smiing. I beamed at her and nodded.

I will do great, I thought to myself as i watched her hail a cab.