Hello again. Um, all I can say, I guess, is that I now have an idea for a story arc that'll spin off of this, but I would really appreicate all the comments that you have. Yeah. That's about it. So, I hereby give you the next letter.

Reid,

I am so incredibly sorry for leaving like I did. There is nothing in the world I wouldn't give to have been able to stay just how terrible I feel; at the very least give you the goodbye you truly deserved. It sickens me knowing how my departure would have affected everyone, especially you. I know that apologies can never fix what I've done.

You must know that I didn't want to go. When I woke up, I had already been transferred away to a secure location and JJ had gotten my death certificate signed. My only regret was that I never tried to contact you and the team before now. The way it was explained to me, my "death" seemed like the best way to keep everyone safe. Even though leaving you felt worse than being stabbed.

Don't let what I did destroy you. You have to be who you are; you are unique and amazing in your own way. I couldn't bear it if I knew that I had changed that. I really hope your headaches have been getting better. It was awful knowing I was the only one who knew. Hey, maybe they were from stress. God knows how much stress I've caused… I just hope they've gotten better. It hurt me to watch you in pain.

You know what one of the things I miss about you the most is? How you understood my nerdiness and doing simple things like watching Solaris in Russian. You're the only one who would think of me when it came to something so out of… I don't know. It's all those little things, like Indian food and your constant knowledge of (sometimes useless) facts, that make me so incredibly sad when I wake up and remember where I am.

I know you very likely hate me and it makes me sick with the knowledge I could've prevent so much pain. You have no idea how much I regret some of the choices I made. Maybe one day I will be able to right some wrongs. I guess it all depends on how things turn out. Hopefully one day I will be able to give you the true apology that you should have gotten. Love you.

~Emily

The first thing Reid had felt when JJ had explained everything was pure shock. He completely froze, nearly unable to breathe. It had been unconceivable that Emily would have ever done what she had. But even now, as he stared down at the paper in his hands, something started to seep through the numbness. He felt his mind slowly going colder as he opened it and began to read.

As he finished, a drop of moisture dripped onto the perfectly scrawled writing that was so familiar to him. He jumped, looking around for the source. It took his brain a second to realize that he was crying. Swiping a hand across his face, he glanced around to make sure he hadn't been seen. The team had already watched him crumble before; he wasn't going to let it happen again. Everyone seemed to be absorbed in the letters clutched in their laps.

JJ's voice suddenly struck his ears and he flinched slightly. He couldn't help it; it was mostly instinctive. He was still reeling from learning she had known Emily had been alive all this time. And that Hotch had watched them fall apart these past months with that same knowledge. Anger was warring within him against the deeply ingrained pain that had slowly rooted itself within him since Emily died… left.

Refolding the letter, Reid stared down at his name written on the cover. Spencer was written in her careless scrawl, standing out against its white background. Tracing the letters lightly with his index finger, he let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. It caught in his throat and hitched into a sob, but he quickly masked it. Swiping the back of his hand under his eyes, he wiped away as much of the tears as he could.

"JJ, why are you showing us these now?" Morgan asked, pulling Spencer back into reality. There was a magnitude of hostility lacing his voice and all Reid could discern from the look in his friends eyes was anger. A sudden rush of harshness hit him.

"Yes JJ, why did you suddenly decide to reveal that… she's still alive?" Reid demanded, hard accusation racing through his tone. He met her eyes squarely when she turned to him and was vaguely surprised when she flinched at his look. But he refused to look away.

"Uh… something happened." JJ trailed off, unsure of how to tell them. She looked at Hotch for support. He saw her silent plea for help and stood. Eyes shifted to watch him and he felt a sharp stab of grief at the pain and rage he noticed in them.

So, thanks for reading. Love you lots if you review :)