(4:31, ?)
It felt as if the girl was drifting through a world that did not exist. The lightness that she felt throughout her body was enough to convince her that she was still stuck in her very own dreamland. Was she floating through space? Of course not, an assumption like that was very easy to dismiss. It begged the question, though. Where was she? So many thoughts mixed with confusion and fear swirled throughout her head. She felt dizzy and wanted to go home before she lost her grip on reality.
Floating slowly, floating further, floating endlessly…. She drifted downwards, beginning to lose sight of the bright light that rested above her view. Anxiety managed to get its strong yet bitter grip on her heart, causing her to yell out for help. It was as if she truly believed that someone was nearby to help her out of the hell within her mind. The cold reality was soon apparent to the pure girl stuck in her living nightmare. No one was able to offer her aid, in fact, she was trapped inside of her head.
She allowed a few final pleas for any sort of support to slip past her quivering lips. Unfortunately, they were drowned out by the endless void that she was falling down into. At last, she allowed her body to go limp. There was no use in struggling any further, or so it seemed. As soon as she gave up on her escape, her frame was pushed upwards. It now felt like her entire being was forced a completely opposite direction. In response, she tried to struggle but found her attempts meaning nothing. Her body was far too heavy to so much as lift a finger. This huge difference in weight threw her off, but she felt far too exhausted to give moving another go. Rising up at a faster speed than she was previously falling, the pure girl's view was now engulfed in the bright white light above her. Her eyes shut as tight as they possibly could as she braced for whatever came next.
…
In the next moment, the girl's eyes shot open. She sat up, frantically feeling every small detail of her face. Her cheeks were still intact, and her nose was still existent. Obviously, her eyes were there too if she could see. Letting out a sigh Yuno, the pure girl, concluded that she was still with the living.
Her delicate skin was drenched in sweat and she was still trembling even after noticing that she was back in her bed. When it came to her physical state she felt normal. Where she found herself severely lacking was her mental one since it was so busy desperately trying to piece together what her mind conjured over the night.
Yuno knew very well that she couldn't spend much time lingering on the thought though! After all, she was a dirty mess. Her usual long, smooth pink hair was now wet with sweat and ruffled up beyond belief. Her skin was not creamy, but instead sticky. In general, she felt disgusting. So, she stood up from her bed promptly and as she did, her nightgown fell past her kneecaps. Her once half-closed eyes blinked once, and then twice. At last, she was able to fully open her beautiful eyes which bore shiny pink pupils.
Without a second thought, Yuno began to stumble about her room to wake up her legs for the day. In the process of trying to collect herself, the girl reached for a fluffy white towel for her upcoming shower. She gripped it and brought it to her chest so that she could hold it without it unraveling. Satisfied, she cracked the door to her dim room open and headed towards the bath portion of her old-fashioned house. The moment that she opened the aged door that let out a tiny squeak, Yuno tiptoed into the bathroom. It was normal for her to be so cautious of her surroundings, after all, her mother was home. She knew for sure that her commonly weary mother didn't get much shut eye, so in result Yuno was as quiet and careful as could be.
Swiftly but silently, Yuno laid the towel down on the counter adjacent to the house's shower. Next, she undressed herself and rested her worn clothes neatly next to the door for her to take to the washer later. She then smoothed her hair back and turned the shower on. Steam bellowed out of the shower, just how Yuno liked it. She stepped into the range of the spraying hot water, enough to send a small comforting feeling up her legs and up to her chest.
She smiled slightly, sitting down on the plastic seat that was set up for her. Her pink locks of hair were instantly soaked by the shower-head that rested above Yuno. After allowing her hair to get wet enough, Yuno's fragile hands gripped the bottle to the shampoo. She poured enough of it out and then rubbed the surfaces of her palms together. When it spread enough to ooze out of the spaces between her fingers, she applied it to the top layer of her head and then she allowed her fingertips to slowly drift down her many strands of beautiful pink hair. As she washed the disgusting sweat out of her massive head of hair, Yuno found herself humming an enchanting tune. It was one that she heard play through a radio one night over the summer, but the lyrics that it contained caused it to become so obscure that when the girl decided to hum it, others raised their eyebrow at her.
At last, as she was rinsing her hair and replacing the runny soap with smooth conditioner, Yuno's lips parted and she began to sing the chorus of the song out loud.
"I don't want to cry, and I don't want to see you anymore.
But my love is drawing me closer to you…
Please stay by my side, even if I burst into tears.
No one could ever stop you now."
Yuno then froze, her grip still deep into her locks. Her eyes drifted upward as if she was observing something that nobody else could see. The new state that she was in could even be compared to a dam giving out within her mind because her once gentle and comfortable expression slowly morphed into a cold and distant one. The general idea that she now had stuck in her train of thought was simple and would be easy to pass off as minor to many, but it managed to keep Yuno's attention to the point where she dwelled on it: Why does she frequently utter the same tune over and over again?
It is clear that it does not correspond to her life in the slightest. Yes, she had it hard during a single section of her life. In fact, the terrible things that she had to suffer through as a child were enough to make any sane person gasp. Unfortunately, Yuno had trouble recalling her past beyond becoming a part of the Gasai family. All that she could possibly remember was her true mother's soft touch back when she was an infant. Besides that, she had no recollection of who took care of her when she needed it the most. Of course, the girl recognized that she was hauled to an orphanage when she was very young. Funnily enough, it was easy for her to remember the face of the old woman who cared for her when she was waiting for a family to take her in. This led up to the dark part of poor Yuno's life.
She believed. Believed that she would be picked up by a family who would care about her and love her no matter what she was like. This amazing idea that formed was enough to leave a warm feeling in her chest when Yuno was an orphan. The only wish that she held close to her heart was to have a mother and father that she could call her own. Time passed. Weeks, into months, into years. Yuno spent a total of three years in the orphanage. Although such an extended amount of time would darken the soul of many children, Yuno went against what everyone expected and remained upbeat. Her positivity shone so brightly that her caretaker could not help but to catch her brimming happiness too. Indeed, Yuno was a magnificent girl whose personality captivated those who got to know her. It was as clear as day that she would be adopted in the near future- who wouldn't want a child as pure as her?
At last, the time arrived for the eager girl. A tall man wearing clothing that appeared to be fancy in her eyes entered the orphanage that she knew so very well. His dark suit was complemented by a black tie that ran down his chest, and his appearance was completed with slick black pants that led into his sturdy black shoes. Yuno's eyes sparkled when she first laid eyes on him. It was as if she knew that he would be the one to adopt her! Following behind the man was a fairly skinny woman with a fragile figure. To Yuno, it looked like if she were to slightly push against the woman, her body would collapse from the pressure. She too wore a decorative get-up that caught her attention almost instantly.
To Yuno's delight, this extravagant duo was looking for a child of their own, and her beautiful pink hair seemed to grab a hold their attention. Initially, they questioned the odd color of both her head and her pupils. While they discussed, Yuno found that this was the perfect time to introduce herself to them. So she did to the best of her ability, flashing her big and rosy-cheeked grin at them. Even they seemed to be drawn into the pure girl's inviting personality. In result, they selected her over the other children in the room. Yuno's heart was practically about to burst open with glee, the time finally came for her! The caretaker who knew the girl for years was forced to depart with her little bundle of joy. Their goodbyes were exchanged, and so was a gentle hug. The woman patted her on the back gently, telling her:
"I know that you will grow up to be a very happy yet inspiring person, Yuno…"
And with those last words, Yuno was whisked away from her bony grip.
Yuno never thought that she would be brought to such a fancy-looking home, much less be taken home by such kind parents. They greeted her with such a gentle tone in the car, it made her heart skip a beat. Of course, they told her the basics. Their names- Ushio and Saika Gasai. This meant that she was no longer just Yuno, but Yuno Gasai. In all honesty, she loved her new last name completely. It rolled off of the tongue nicely and went very well with her first name. Nodding excitedly, the pure girl introduced herself- jokingly sticking Gasai onto the end of her name to amuse her new parents. They enjoyed her upbeat personality and felt like they made the correct choice. Yuno's opinion did not drift too far from theirs, as she believed that she was taken in by the best set of parents ever.
Her gaze was set upon their grandiose residence, which heavily resembled an old fashioned Japanese home, rather than a modern one. Yuno definitely did not have a problem with that- if her new family happened to be very cultured, then she would adapt just to make them smile. The two began to step out of the car, and after they did, her new father opened the car door for her politely. The girl bowed her head, telling him that she appreciated his kindness. He responded, telling her that it was no problem at all. Amidst their exchange of words, Yuno noticed that she still had not talked to her mother. So, she reached out, which resulted in a little bit of hesitation from the woman. It did not seem like anything was wrong with her, it just appeared that she was very nervous to talk to her child. Perhaps it was because she did not want to give off a poor first impression? Yuno wanted to believe that, so she remained optimistic and said hello to her. Saika slowly returned the wave, and then apologized for being so silent during the entire situation. Yuno insisted that it was okay and that she understood since it really was a lot to take in.
One by one, the family entered the home. The breath was taken out of Yuno's lungs instantly at what she saw. Everything about her new dwelling was beyond amazing! The interior was beautiful. It followed the old-fashioned theme of the house while managing to remain fairly new-looking. Next, the map of the house was simple. One floor, a few big rooms, and smaller ones for bedrooms and such. Clearly, it would be very easy to memorize the home. Even better, every room that she entered was better than the last. The entrance was enough to give a visitor a positive initial reaction, whether it be amazement, shock, or comfort. Following the hall led to various other smaller rooms. Stemming off of it was the bathroom, their bedrooms, closets… It was perfect in Yuno's eyes. On the opposite side of their humble abode laid their main room, also called the family room, and the kitchen. Their main room also doubled up as a dining room, which gave the home a very deep-rooted sweet and unique feeling. Altogether, Yuno knew that her life was going to be great here alongside Ushio and Saika. Or, in her case, Papa and Mama.
Fortunately, the thoughts that she had about her future were true! Her mother and father took care of her and treated her as if she were a princess. They got her what she wanted, praised her when she did good, and generally handled her very well. Nothing could go wrong, Yuno believed. In her view, she would grow up and succeed in life with the help of her adoptive parents. She had huge ambitions that spanned past many of her peers. Her goal in life was to become a teacher. Specifically, a cooking teacher, since she found enjoyment in concocting various meals at home alongside her mother. To add onto her shining accomplishments and wishes, she also earned top marks that set her further than other students her age. If she kept on this trail, they would have to assign her to high school classes early! This vast knowledge that she held came from herself of course but supporting it was one other source. Her mother wished for her to be top of the school boards, though she exerted this want of hers in a gentle manner. Her unique approach to teaching Yuno and helping her sent the pure girl spiraling upward in regard to her marks. Yuno broke through every expectation of her teachers and her parents alike. At home, her life was comfortable with next to no problems- the only minor one being her that her mother was strangely quiet around her sometimes. It was difficult for Yuno to acknowledge that as something that conflicted her life, since it simply seemed to be that her mother did not like talking up a storm, unlike her father who had his moments.
All was well in the life of the pure girl until the final surface that held back the true hell in her mother's head finally broke into pieces. This was all brought about by a financial recession in Japan that caused much trouble within the walls of the Gasai family. Yuno was told long ago- back when she was first adopted- that her father was the founder of the biggest and most trusted bank in Sakurami. It was simply named: "The Gasai Bank" Due to the sudden recession, his bank was put into full panic mode and then ended up screeching into a halt. This sudden stop caused his occupation to fall apart, and it was forced to work hard to try to make up for the lost time. This resulted in a huge blockade forming between him and his flowing income, which caused his family to fall into distress. Poor Yuno had no clue what became of her beloved mother and father, but out of nowhere their light attitudes fell into darkness and became quite deformed and corrupted. Her father began to avoid coming home, which confused the young girl very much. Her usual lucky-go family was now dull and depressed. Yuno, who was stuck in the past, still tried to cheer her dear father up when he visited their home, but to no avail.
Though her father was one major part of her family who fell into despair, her mother was the one who was affected the most. The once quiet yet content woman began to break down, unknowingly devolving into a monster. She began to lash out at Yuno, first verbally and then physically and mentally. It started off small- insults, yelling about her being far too happy… The bitter words then turned onto thorny ones that could pierce the heart and soul. Saika would often scream at Yuno for minor cases, such as coming home ten minutes late and scoring two points above the best in school. She always claimed that her child was supposed to be an elitist but she was beginning to fall behind and become a disgrace to the family. Yuno could not handle the sudden change, and she retreated. Usually, she would attempt to avoid her mother or even go as far as giving her the silent treatment. Unfortunately for Yuno, she was forced to talk to her mother whenever her dark eyes faced her direction. No matter what she did, anything that she tried to do to escape her wrath, every attempt was useless.
Finally, the darkest point of her life came. One day, while her father still had not returned from work, Yuno decided to slightly talk back to her mother. Her strong words caused Saika to spiral downwards into a mental breakdown. The panicked girl attempted to soothe her mother, apologizing about what she did to her. Yuno was then introduced to her enemy, one that she would often face for years to come. Set up within a dark and freezing room was an unforgiving cage that her mother had bought fairly recently. Whenever Yuno so much as talked back, did something wrong in school, came home late… She would be tossed into the same godforsaken cage time and time again. When she resided in that raw room, she would regularly receive a heavy mouthful from her sobbing mother. The phrases and insults that slipped past her quivering chapped lips would leave Yuno in shambles. She too would cry and beg for forgiveness in the presence of her broken mother. "Please stop i-it, Mama… I love you so much, I didn't m-mean to make you angry!" Was something that would always wriggle its way out of Yuno's mouth through her continuous weeping. Her pleas did not please her mother, and she would often get pulled by the hair, hit, forcefully pushed into the cold cage, or mentally abused to the point where endless tears were streaming down the pure girl's cheeks. Heartbreakingly, little Yuno who once had so much hope for life slowly began to have her youthful fire snuffed out. It took time, though. No, she did not lose her grip on reality until further into her experience of abuse.
When Yuno had to make it through those cloudy and dull days that pulled at the strings of her sanity, she barely had any idea of how to go about it. Many different mixed thoughts would force their way into the doors of Yuno's mind. Twisted ideas such as running away from home or even killing her own mother popped in here and there, causing Yuno to devolve into a violently spasming and bawling mess in her cage. On days like those, her mother would yell at Yuno, attempting to overpower the volume of her cries. Instead of degrading her own daughter, she instead went after herself. In fact, her comments soon drifted away from the topic of Yuno completely. Saika began to apologize to Yuno for multiple reasons: For being a horrible mother and for everything that she has ever done to hurt her beloved daughter. Yuno always accepted her gentle-feeling words but was always left in the cold prison regardless.
It seemed like the situation could only go down from this point- there was no light at the end of the tunnel for the youth. Finally, though, the money conflict within her home city began to recover, and before she knew it, the economy entered a season of prosperity in Japan. The news came very slowly to Yuno. Her pain came less and less to her, until it was barely noticeable. The biggest change that occurred to her was the sharp decrease in visits to the cage. Following that, her father began to come home much more than he did before. At last, her family began to come back together. Clearly, it came much more suddenly than Yuno ever thought. Unfortunately, tensions were high in the Gasai family. When it came to the relationship between Yuno and her own mother, they just could not find a way to get along. The thread that held them together was her kind-hearted father, who tried his very best to keep the relationship between his wife and daughter positive. Yes, they did speak from time to time and that pleased him. But other than that, there was nothing else between them… And that problem persists today.
Yuno blinked a few times and progressively came back to reality. Her mess of hair had sponged up much of the water that rained down on her as she traced over her life that lead up to where she is today. Letting out a small sound, her gentle hands inched their way to her damp eyes. It was difficult to catch the fact that she was crying over the thought of her past since she was in the process of showering. But she concluded that it was best to finish up her thought process- after all, she was attempting to get to something prior to her sudden trail of flashbacks. So she looked upwards at the washroom light once more.
Blood Teller. She had a hard time trying to connect such a pretty song to her ugly life. Of course, she could go out on a limb and say that the tune in itself was very elegant and it found a way to enchant almost anyone who hears it at first. When she was just a child in the orphanage, her caretaker constantly reminded her that she had the power to catch anybody's attention. But she did not know whether to believe that or not, after all, nobody adopted her until much later. Just like that song, which was widely ignored due to the unrelatable lyrics that it contained. That thought process was nothing but a stupid effort put in by Yuno to try to relate her life to a simple song. In general, she knew that there was no use in trying. She must have been very tired, which caused her to think much more than she usually did. In result, Yuno finally decided that it was best to wrap up her shower, dismissing the seemingly unimportant thought.
She did, and she stood up and stepped out of the area- switching the water off and promptly grabbing a hold of a nearby towel to ruffle out all of the wetness that she could. That swift movement was followed by her wrapping the towel around the bottom half of her body. Just in case her father was home or her mother was awake, she grabbed a second towel to wrap around her chest. When both fluffy cloths were tightly tied around both sections of her body, she began to make her way towards her room. The walk itself was smooth since nobody ended up popping out from behind a corner to see her current state. She tiptoed into her room and gently closed the door behind her. As soon as the coast was clear, she removed the towels that were stiffly wrapped around her and began to use the upper one to dry any drops of water that made their way down her long head of hair. At last, her hair was completely dry and it was safe to clothe herself without her outfit becoming soaking wet.
Yuno's final decision when it came to her clothing was her trademark blue school uniform. The shirt is blue with a white and yellow pattern on either side, along with a white collar that poked out near the top. This made the shirt appear symmetrical. Her skirt was a darker shade of blue with small depressions here and there, making the piece of clothing feel longer than it actually was. Finally, it was equipped with an adorable red bow as its centerpiece, which had small ribbons that ran down both sides at the perfect length, wrapping up her look. Yuno always wore brown slide-on shoes along with this very outfit, but she found herself alternating between long and short socks. Today, she chose to wear long ones to cover her legs since the weather outside was somewhat breezier than usual.
As expected, Yuno was in no rush to eat breakfast and head to school. In fact, she had about an hour to get to her building. She grabbed her small messenger back that served as her school bag and stepped into the kitchen to grab herself some food. Nothing much, just a single piece of buttered toast to munch on. Unlike many others her age, Yuno disliked eating before school because it made her feel much more tired than usual in her first few class periods. She was very aware of that problem of hers, and it caused her to not even spare the time to eat the crust of the bread. Instead of letting it go to waste, though, she broke the crunchy bread into pieces and threw it out to the birds who popped in and out of her home's backyard. Her mother was never happy with her tendency to throw food out to the animals since it encourages them to return, but something about their peaceful nature made her feel warm inside. Unlike what her mother herself made her feel- cold and unsafe. Just like the cage that she was kept in back when her mother's depression had its prickly roots dug deep in her heart. Yuno shuddered at the thought of being thrown in there once more. She would not be able to bear it mentally, and she felt very glad that that prison was brought out of the house by her father. No matter, Yuno could not let the reminiscence of her earlier days hold her back from being happy. She took in a deep breath as she gripped her bag's leather strap, and nodded as she stepped by the door to reassure herself that everything was going to go as planned. Today was going to be an amazing day and she knew it.
After all, the pure girl had no right to be negative, at least in her mind. The abuse that she was forced to suffer through was cut short because her amazing father stepped in and made the pain cease. If he were to have never interfered, who knows what would have happened? Yuno could've been forced to eat something that isn't naturally edible, such as the tatami mat that was near the cage, in order to live another day. That's right, Yuno was malnourished during this time period. She was very close to giving in and eating dirt, dust, and the straw from the mat she sobbed on. She was saved and was now considered a survivor of major mental and physical abuse. There was no room in her mindset to be depressed like her disturbed mother, that's for sure.
The light that emitted from the world outside drew Yuno in instantly. She longed to experience the beautiful day outside. Luckily for her, she began to get ready so early that she had a lot of time to slow down her pace and observe the wonders around her. The squirrels and chipmunks who skittishly ran up trees and other surfaces looking for nuts to get them and their families through yet another week… The birds who were perched in the tree, singing as if their lives depended on it… The leaves, grass, and other plants that danced in the gentle spring breeze… Yuno couldn't help but to smile at all of these amazing gifts that life bestowed upon her and her peers. Although life itself had treated Yuno poorly, she still held onto the ability to enjoy nature. Indeed she did, to the point where she considered herself an observer of nature. Unfortunately for others, Yuno had trouble trusting them past an acquaintance. Even her friends were not safe from this distance that she put between them. As for a family, an even thicker wall rested between them.
Yuno's daily trod through the outer pathways of Sakurami City was quickly coming to an end. She failed to notice how close she was to her massive school due to her being so distracted by the munching animals and the spinning plants. When the first section of it peeked from behind the wall of a nearby building, Yuno could not stop herself from grinning. Another day chock filled with learning, socialization, and fun. More importantly, Yuno was able to enjoy yet another day away from her home. Away from her monstrous mother who she had difficulty forgiving.
"Mirai Nikki", also known as "The Future Diary" was written and illustrated by Sakae Esuno. None of the characters in this fanfiction belong to me, obviously. They are simply altered to change up the story.