Disclaimer: Borrowed and fine-tuned. A/N: For Nat who asked for a Posie Angst/Romance fic. I was listening to Kelly Clarkson's Invincible as I wrote this. Rated M/NC17 x
Invincible
I was crying out, I couldn't make no sound
No one hears the silent tears collecting
You know I had lost hope, I was all alone
Never been so long till you came along
- Kelly Clarkson
Josie dropped on the stairs of the Salvatore Mansion, her heart racing in a panic, hoping nobody noticed her rapid breaths. She wrung her hands in her lap, waiting for Lizzie to meet her. She had done something reckless, and possibly stupid, but she'd tried to rectify it, but it had gotten out of her hands, quite literally. Fire, she'd only wanted to destroy her stupid love letter to Hope.
She couldn't believe she'd even gone through with it, and why had she?
It was all Lizzie's fault, for encouraging her to be honest about her feelings. If she hadn't have nagged her, she'd still be in her room reading Pride and Prejudice, with her feelings for Hope stifled. Josie took a long harrowing breath, paranoid her clothes smelt like smoke. Could she be expelled for this? It was an accident – she didn't mean to set fire to Hope's whole room, just her love letter.
She'd heard the smoke-alarm, a shrill ring which triggered newly installed water jets, and Emma, Dorian and her father, Alaric, had sprinted to the Dorms, shouting for everyone to get outside. Guilt suffocated Josie, she was terrified of the consequences, of losing the only home she'd ever known, of disappointing her family, who had worked so hard to build the Salvatore Boarding House into the School it was now known as.
Josie heard footsteps and wiped her silent tears hastily from her cheeks. It wasn't Lizzie, as she'd expected, but Penelope Park, a witch whose confidence exuded from her pores. Penelope's hazel eyes scanned Josie's slouched shoulders, and subdued temperament, before shaking her hands through her long wavy black hair. Her silver nose-stud glinted in the rays of warm sunlight from the windows.
Penelope's smile made Josie forget altogether about Hope Mikaelson, and she scattered from the stairs, trying to look less pathetic. Penelope gave Josie an amused smirk, and looked over her shoulder, at the rest of their curious classmates, spotting her sister, Lizzie with MG and Kaleb. Emma, Alaric and Dorian descended the landing, with Hope Mikaelson in tow. Josie and Penelope moved aside, noting their solemn expressions.
"The fire has been distinguished, and there will be an inquest into how it began. I would like anyone who saw anything out of the ordinary to report their concerns to me. If I discover this fire was not an accident, whoever is responsible, will be facing expulsion. This is a safe haven for all, I will not condone any violence or bullying under my roof. Classes will resume this afternoon. Dismissed!"
"'Out of the ordinary?' We're a school of supernatural creatures, everything here is 'out of the ordinary!' Kaleb's voice travelled up the corridor, making Penelope smirk.
Alaric gave his daughters a relieved smile, grateful they were safe, but he'd been preoccupied in recent weeks, busy having secret meetings with Hope; and Dorian, and neglecting their family time. Their mother, Caroline Forbes, was out of town, and they hadn't seen their Uncle Damon or Aunty Elena, in forever. Sometimes, Elena's brother, Jeremy would pop in to teach them self-defence. He always said, 'best to learn to defend yourself, should your enemy find a way to quash your magical abilities'. 'Humans and hunters had found ways to weaken vampires with vervain; werewolves with wolfsbane; and by taking magic from witches'. Josie couldn't imagine being without her magic, even if sometimes she couldn't control it – her magic was tied to her emotions, it was a part of her.
She would feel helpless without it.
Josie gave Alaric a forced smile, frozen to the third step, whilst Penelope's hand wrapped itself around hers, as if in moral support. But there was no way Penelope knew her secret? Nobody had been in the hall when she'd cast the spell, and it would be inevitable for all their clothes to smell of smoke, since the grey flumes had wafted through the corridors. Josie watched the party with bated breath, swallowing her guilt, and burying her regret.
Hope descended the stairs carrying a box of her belongings, her puffy red eyes met with Penelope's first, and then Josie's, as if pleading for some kind of comforting gesture or words, but Josie could think of nothing, except keeping her face completely straight, and praying Hope couldn't read her mind – she was a tribid, after all. A witch/vampire/wolf. She was the daughter of the late Hayley and Klaus Mikaelson, whose reputations were well known, especially to New Orleans.
"Let's see the damage," Penelope said, pulling Josie in the opposite direction of the lunch hall.
"We're not supposed to be poking around," Josie hissed, liking Penelope's fingers around hers.
Penelope rolled her eyes, stealing Josie away from her commitments, and into the unknown.
Josie had been sitting on the edge of Penelope's bed, finding a friend in her, someone to talk to, other than her twin, Lizzie. The magazine had been mildly interesting: a distraction from Penelope. Her friend had requested help in choosing an outfit for the end of the semester party, and Penelope had spent the past hour wandering her bedroom in her underwear, showing various outfits.
Josie had texted Lizzie to say she would be late and was helping a friend get ready.
Josie had been oblivious to Penelope's true feelings, presuming they were only friends, and that anything else, was only one-sided. She was completely thrown when the mattress in front of her dipped, and Penelope's fingertips lifted her chin, and she was staring into two mischievous hazel-coloured eyes. Her heart stopped, and she tried to say something, but lost all confidence.
"You know what colour would pop on you? Red."
Josie let Penelope drag her red lipstick across her lips, and before she knew it, she was staring back into the mirror, at a completely different person.
"What do you think?"
"I don't even look like me."
"How do you feel?"
"Different."
Penelope beamed, and climbed from the bed, offering Josie her hand.
"Wanna be my date?"
Josie blushed, but took Penelope's hand, trusting her.
There was something about Penelope Park, that took her breath away*.
Josie had been in relationships before, but never with a girl. She was half excited, and half terrified to be parading down the stairs with a stunning date like Penelope Park on her arm. She wondered what Lizzie would do and say. She wondered what her parents would think, she'd never mentioned she'd ever liked girls in that way before, the closest she'd come to admitting the truth of her bisexuality was when Lizzie'd said she'd been obsessed with Hope growing up (resulting in Josie blurting Hope had said nasty things about her, to hide the fact that she did, indeed have a crush – she wished she'd handled things differently, but now, at least, she had a second chance at love).
They'd reached the bottom of the stairs, and everyone was beginning to stare, Josie doubted they were looking at her, when Penelope had chosen to wear a black v-line pantsuit, complete with a waist-sash. She looked incredible, and Josie had to remember to pull her gaze from her, or else she'd miss the party. Penelope guided Josie across the wooden floors, finding MG, who wore a vibrant suit and a stunned expression.
"Have you seen Lizzie?" Josie asked MG, who pointed at her twin, standing with Kaleb towards the back of the room. "I'll be right back," Josie said, leaving Penelope in good hands, obliged to tell Lizzie about her date, and well, how she wasn't going to keep running from love anymore. She deserved to be in a loving relationship, and if Penelope was offering love and friendship, and a bit of an adventure, she'd take it.
"Friend, huh?"
Josie wrung her hands together and bit her lip.
"I wasn't sure what we were yet, I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
Lizzie sighed, taking a coke from Kaleb's hand.
"You two make a cute couple, I just want you to be happy, Jo."
Kaleb took a swig from a small container, wiping something resembling Ribena from his lip.
"Thanks," Josie glanced at MG, who waved from the dance floor. "MG looks good tonight."
Lizzie understood her meaning, and drained her coke, handing Josie the empty cup.
"If you're insinuating what I think you're insinuating, no."
Josie laughed, putting the cup into the trash, and gave her twin a tight squeeze.
"I just want you to know, I don't want anything to change between us."
Lizzie rested her chin on Josie's shoulder.
"It won't, you're my twin, and I'm always going to love you. You're my other half."
Josie blinked back happy tears, feeling as though a weight had lifted from her shoulders.
"I love you too, Lizzie."
"May I have this dance?"
Josie looked up to see Penelope standing in front of her, that confident 'don't give a damn what anybody thinks' smile glued to her lips. It was like the world just melted away, and all of Josie's insecurities, and worries went with it. She found herself accepting and then they were amongst the other couples; the music ignited her hidden confidence, and she'd taken Penelope's waist.
Now I am invincible
No, I ain't a scared little girl no more
Yeah, I am invincible
What was I running for (What was I running for)
- Kelly Clarkson
Josie's back pressed against Penelope's dorm door; a gasp escaped her. Penelope admired Josie's anxious breaths and paused to press her finger against her rouge-parted lips. It was after curfew, and Emma had already requested lights to be turned off. Penelope's pant suit lay forgotten in the darkness, leaving Penelope standing in her underwear, and Josie at a disadvantage, still clothed.
"I think she's gone," Penelope whispered.
Josie couldn't contain her feelings, not when Penelope was standing so close. She'd almost kissed her twice already; once when Penelope had rested her chin on her shoulder, murmuring the words to Kelly Clarkson's song in her ear, and second, when Penelope had asked her to unzip her pantsuit, before they were interrupted by Emma's knock on the door, indicating for lights out.
It was dark, too dark, so Josie lifted her hand, slowly, and Penelope dropped her finger. The orange glow of fire from Josie's hand crept over the walls, projecting long distorted shadows. Josie put her left hand on Penelope's chest, pushing her gently to her bed, satisfied by her racing heartbeat beneath her palm. Penelope's legs hit the mattress, and she toppled onto her back, with a giggle.
"If you're going to touch me, you're gonna need to put that out."
Josie smirked, closing her fist into a ball and snuffing the flames at once.
Their eyes adjusted to the darkness, the moonlight their only source of light now.
"Do you want to kiss me?" Penelope murmured, leaning into Josie's personal space.
Josie nodded, suddenly shy again, perhaps her lipstick was wearing off?
"It's okay, Jojo," Penelope smiled. "I like you, and I like us. I'm not going anywhere."
Josie took a slow breath; had she been breathing at all? She tucked her hand beneath Penelope's hair, cupping her neck, and left a chaste kiss against Penelope's mouth. Penelope smiled, breaking apart to adjust her hands, both found comfort either side of Josie's cheeks, gravity took control of them, and the two teenagers fell back against Penelope's bed with a stifled giggle.
Josie blinked, unprepared for the intensity of Penelope's kisses, pulling at her bottom lip. Penelope's hair tickled her chest, and her thighs pinned her to the mattress. Josie traipsed her hands over Penelope's back, finding the clip in her bra. "Can I?"
Penelope nodded, helping to pull her bra straps from her shoulders, then flinging it to the floor.
Wet kisses took Josie by surprise, sending her to euphoria and beyond. Penelope's warm breasts meshed against her skin, she unclipped her bra, and soon, Penelope's mouth and tongue danced from Josie's neck, shoulders, collarbone, and breasts, to her stomach. Penelope's touch was gentle, and her breath minty. Josie listened to the gentle lull of the rain; the patch of moonlight cast over Penelope's bare legs.
"Brace yourself, I'm going to go low, but only if you're comfortable?"
Penelope's fingers were either side of Josie's knickers, but she waited for consent.
Josie had never even let a boy touch her there, but whilst she was nervous for her first time, she trusted Penelope, and so she nodded, slowly and then quickly, as though the need for Penelope's fingers were a must. Her girlfriend gave Josie a gentle, but reassuring kiss, reminding her:
"This is only fun if you're enjoying it, if anything feels weird, or hurts, tell me and I'll stop."
Josie swallowed but nodded, "Okay, I will."
Penelope resumed pulling Josie's knickers down, and Josie felt the cool air against her bush. She waited, vulnerable, but also excited at the thought of being pleasured there. She'd seen sex-scenes on television, but not many same-sex couples. In fact, when it came to representation in media, the best it could give were two women hugging or holding hands (sex-scenes for same-sex couples were limited, and barely had the recognition they deserved).
"How are you feeling?"
Josie felt Penelope's thumb brush against her bush, and she became paranoid over her maintenance of it. Maybe it was too bushy? She didn't want to shave it, maybe Penelope didn't like bushes?
"Okay," she lied, clutching the sheets either side of her for comfort.
"I'm going to use my fingers first, see how fast I can get you wet, and then I'm going to taste you."
Josie's heart was pounding, but her sass remained high.
"I thought you were a witch, not a vampire?"
Penelope's eyes sparkled, "Josie, If I were a vampire, you'd have known by now."
Josie tried to relax, staring at the ceiling in anticipation of her girlfriend making love to her. She had a girlfriend, and a sex-life, two things she'd never even contemplated before her eighteenth birthday. She'd just begun dwelling on what to do for her birthday, when Penelope took the opportunity to slide one finger, then two, inside her, her tongue soon to follow.
"Pen-el-op-eeeeee."
Josie's eyes almost rolled into the back of her head, her body twisted, rolled and catapulted off the mattress. Penelope's arms pinned Josie's thighs, whilst her tongue slid beneath her folds. Josie's orgasm ripped through her, leaving her satisfied and spent. Penelope wiped her mouth on Josie's knickers, tossing them away, then she kissed Josie and lay beside her. "I love you, Jojo."
Josie pressed her forehead against Penelope's, "I love you too, Pen."
Some months later
Josie tapped on Penelope's bedroom door, things between them had changed, and it wasn't because they'd had sex. They were nearing their three-month anniversary, and Josie had planned the perfect date – dinner and a movie, Pitch Perfect (*Bechloe). The rift came indirectly in the form of her sister, Lizzie. Maybe she'd missed the warning signs, or maybe, she'd been blinded by love?
Josie and Lizzie were sisters, it was inevitable they'd have a close relationship, but it was the co-dependency which bothered Penelope: Josie never once questioned or challenged Lizzie's needs, sacrificing her own needs to her sister's. There were times she'd have to cancel on Penelope because Lizzie had a family emergency, or needed a shoulder to cry on, or had a bad day, it was up to Josie to be there for her.
Penelope looked up from her bed, closing her magazine. Her usual lit up expression replaced with a glib expression. "I'm sorry, Jojo, but until you stand up to your sister, I can't be with you."
"I don't understand?"
Penelope picked up another magazine.
"Yes, you do. All those times you cancelled on me, because of Lizzie. I'm not going to let her walk all over you, but neither should you. You need to take care of you, Josie! Lizzie's in her own world, and she's suffocating you."
Josie shook her head, "That's just Lizzie, she's my sister, I can't abandon her."
Penelope signed, "I know you can't, but you abandoned me."
Josie took an uncertain step forwards, she didn't want it to be over.
"But I love you."
"I know, Jojo, but you don't, not truly, because if you did, you'd have stood up to Lizzie."
Penelope climbed off her bed, and Josie took a step back, returning to the hallway.
"Please, don't do this."
Penelope gave Josie a broken smile, "I have to, for both our sanities."
Josie shook her head, pleading Penelope to change her mind, she needed her.
"You can hate me all you want for this, but remember, there's a fine line between love and hate."
Josie's bottom lip trembled, hot tears burned her eyeballs, as Penelope closed her door.
"I hate you."
Penelope leaned her head against her door, eyes shut tight, a tear rolling down her cheeks.
"I know."
A/N: *Yes this is the line from Wild Child, I have no regrets. I just made myself cry. Sorry, that sex scene wasn't intentional, kinda fell into the smut gutter, but I hope you liked it just the same.