Sam's POV
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Sam was just arriving back home after the end of his shift.
It had been a rough day all around for him, and as he walked inside his place, he didn't even bother to light candles or anything to illuminate the house for that matter. He just walked in, set down his keys, and leaned against the counter of his kitchen for a few seconds.
He closed his eyes, and tried to make sense of everything that had taken place only a few hours earlier.
Oh god, he remembered that he had exposed his feelings for Andy, and not nearly in the way he thought it would have been revealed.
He ran into an old flame, Monica, and, beautiful as she was, ended things with her for some unknown, uncategorized feelings he had towards his rookie.
Andy McNally.
God, what did I do…?
Are my feelings for her that obvious?
What am I even talking about? What feelings? I don't even know what it is that I'm feeling…
This is stupid, Sam, just stupid. She's in a relationship; she doesn't have a thing for you, so just get over this ridiculous phase of juvenility you're going thr-
Sam's thoughts ran wild. Quite frankly, it gave him a headache.
This is just pathetic, you're pathetic..
Sam was tired of listening to both sides of his conscience argue and decided to try to just lay down and take his mind off anything and everything he could.
He strolled into his bedroom after grabbing a lighter out of the kitchen drawer and felt around for the few candles he had placed on his dresser, specifically in case of blackouts. He lit about five and then sat down on his bed, crouched forward, head between his knees, lighter in hand.
He tried to concentrate on anything but today's events, including the flame he repeatedly lit and then diffused. He bit his lower lip, frustrated, as thoughts of Andy kept filling his mind.
They took him back to the rec center, as he walked in, gun drawn, his heart beating faster than he ever could have anticipated while on the job, and mainly fueled by his fear for Andy's safety.
He pressed his eyelids together tighter and it was almost as if the tape of his memory fast forwarded to the part where he saw Andy standing, paralyzed with shock and confusion, after she had shot the subject.
He remembered the unsettling feeling that set in his stomach as he saw her face, ridden with fear, terror, denial… and how he wished he could have just walked up to her, pulled her into his chest, and held her tightly, being able to let her know that everything would be okay, that he was there for her… that he wanted to be there for her…
Sam moaned angrily and threw the lighter on the ground in front of him. He brought his hands to his head, and laid his face in his palms, rubbing his eyes with his fingertips.
He shouldn't have feelings for Andy, he shouldn't be constantly thinking about her- This wasn't like him.
It was at this time that he heard a knock at his front door. At first he tried to realize whether it was real, but regardless, within seconds, opened the door, telling himself he wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone.
He twisted the knob and pulled open the door.
Andy.
He almost had to catch his breath while trying to maintain his composure. All he could think about was what she needed and how he could help, therefore immediately offering for her to come in and talk about what happened.
After saying that, he remembered his previous remark about not being in the mood, and was irritated once again by the thoughts running through his mind, so he pushed them away. Now his attention was focused solely on her.
He watched her, concerned, as he tried to read the expressions on her face. It was extremely difficult.
She looked like an emotional wreck, but Sam didn't notice. He registered her just as beautiful as he always did.
What happened next felt almost surreal to him…
She walked in, determined, and kissed him with so much passion, so much desire, it was almost as if his wildest dreams were finally becoming reality. After a few seconds of pure shock, he realized:
What am I waiting for?
Everything I'd ever dreamed of this past month is right here…
I'm not going to let this opportunity pass me by.
He reciprocated her actions with the utmost gratification. His kissed her intensely and pulled her in closer, feeling the warmth of her body against his. Every second of their romance was priceless.
All Sam was thinking about now was how he wished that this would never end, how he wished that she would never go back to Luke… that, in the end, she would choose him.
Screw protocol, and rules be damned.
The emotions he felt now meant more to him than anything else in this world.