A/N: The insanity continues...
WARNINGS: This part is even slashier than the first part. (Slash would imply "quite a bit of male/male bonding", as my dear mum commented is prevalent in my "stuff"...*falls over laughing*) This chapter also has: 1.) Implied twincest, 2.) Unmerciful harassing of everyone's favorite Quidditch Seeker and complete natural on a broomstick (yes, that was meant to be naughty), 3.) Oliver Wood, 4.) Attempted =and= successful seduction, 5.) Insights into exactly what Colin =does= do with all those photos, and 6.) More shameless, kawaii, Harry/Ron shipping. Oh, and a bit of comic overuse of the expression "Jesus, Mary and Joseph". *huge, exaggerated wink and cheesy grin*
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Love and Longing in the Common Room
By Akira Ichijouji
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PART 2 -- HARRY, FREDNGEORGE, AND OLIVER WOOD
From his place on the "Sofa of Honour", Harry was being unmercifully harassed.
"Come on, Harry!" George brandished a sickly green Every-Flavor-Bean.
"I don't think it's anything bad..." Fred grinned.
"I think it's just an apple one..." George waved the bean "temptingly" in front of Harry.
"Yeah, come on, what's the worst that can happen?"
"If you're so bloody obsessed with it, why don't you eat it yourselves?" Harry addressed both twins.
"We've had too much candy already."
"Yeah, we're really not supposed to have it at all, and any more could quite possibly kill us." Fred and George looked evilly at each other.
Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm not =that= dense."
Both twins pouted.
Harry glanced across the Common Room, noting Ron's disgruntled expression. He looked exactly how Harry felt. The bespectacled boy hadn't been able to say two words to Ron since the beginning of the Quidditch match, and he was starting to miss his best friend, even though they were sitting less than twenty feet apart. There was simply just too large (and too interested) a crowd around the sofa for Harry to make an escape.
*Click* *Click* *Click* *Click* *Click*
"Colin, please stop..." Harry shot a martyred look at the camera-wielding kid, who was, as usual, taking mad photos of the Quidditch team -- and mainly Harry.
"I think someone's got a crush on you," whispered George in one of Harry's ears.
"A =terrible=, =death defying=, =idolizing= crush," whispered Fred in Harry's other ear.
"We =know=."
"We saw him with one of your pictures, stretched out on the bed and..."
"FRED!!!" Harry stared open-mouthed at the redhead, who was grinning from ear to ear.
George winked at his twin. "I'm sure all Fred was going to say was..."
Harry clapped both hands over his ears. "I can't hear you, I can't hear you..."
After a few minutes of non-incident, George winked again.
Fred winked back. Stage two of "Plan 286: Seduce the Boy Who Lived" was about to take effect.
"Ready?" George mouthed at Fred.
Fred shook his head, grinning in a decidedly evil fashion, then looked meaningfully at Harry, obviously flicking his eyes across the room several times. George followed Harry's gaze, and realized that the delicious Griffindor Seeker was staring unabashedly, with a little smile on his face, across the room, at none other than...
Ron.
George flashed an identical evil smile back at Fred after mouthing "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" It was too good to be true.
"So, you know, Harry, Colin isn't the only one with a crush on you..." Fred clasped his hands in front of him as Harry looked decidedly horrified.
"We forgot to mention it earlier..."
"Very important, that..."
"Oooooh, George, do you think we =should=?"
"Oooooh, I don't =know=...he might be very upset with us..."
"Yeah, he might not be too happy with us if we told Harry about the time we walked in on him and he was..."
"In bed..."
Harry looked even more horrified, if that were possible.
"...Talking about him in his sleep," Fred finished finally, snickering. The Seeker looked immensely relieved.
"What, did you think we were going to say something else?" George said, turning to Harry, all innocence.
"Hmmmm, I don't think =Ron= would have wanted us to say that in front of Harry...oooooops..." Fred clapped his hands over his mouth, pretending to have said too much.
"FRED! We promised!"
Harry choked. "R-R-Ron?" he stammered, looking from one twin to the other. "Y-Y-You're joking right? You're pulling my leg, aren't you? I-I mean, you're Fred and George, you don't exactly have the reputation...Wait, I =know= you're lying."
"We might be," Fred said mysteriously.
"But we might not be," George said, just as mysteriously.
Harry felt his neck heating up. The idea of Ron talking about him (among other things) in his sleep was appealing to him a =lot= more than it should. A blush spread over his face.
"Uh oh, Harry's blushing..." George said, softly taunting.
"Uh oh, =I= think =someone's= got a crush back..."
Harry turned even redder.
"He DOES! He DOES!"
"Ah Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" Fred said in a mock-Irish accent. Both twins were grinning like Christmas had come early.
Harry hid his face in his hands. He just couldn't bring himself to lie in direct confrontations. He snuck a peek at Ron, who seemed to be having an argument with Seamus. Harry couldn't...couldn't...actually =like= him, could he?
He did. He =so= did.
Harry suddenly felt one arm go around his waist and another around his shoulders. The twins were pinning him to the back of the couch. The bespectacled boy started as he felt lips brush his ear.
"Heh heh, about earlier..."
"We were lying about that crush..."
"Of course, now that we know =you= have one..."
"It's not a lie anymore, now is it?"
Lips brushed Harry's other ear. He was staring wide-eyed off into space, trying to pretend that the twins were =not= groping him. *Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God.*
"So...We know one way we could keep from letting the fact you like him slip..."
"He =is= our brother...and letting things slip is our specialty..." Fred was rubbing small circles on Harry's stomach.
Even though nothing would get him to sleep with the twins, the pure =idea= was, frankly, arousing. And whatever George was doing to his ear was spectacular.
"Um, no...stop please..." Harry tried to get up, but was held back on the couch by two pairs of arms.
"In that case..."
"We may have to go to Plan 286 B..."
"What's plan 286 B?"
"=You= know."
The twins grinned at each other again, then began tickling Harry unmercifully. Harry eeped, and struggled.
"REVENGE!!!" whooped Fred, as George dived in for the kill.
After a few minutes of struggling, cursing, flailing, and biting, the twins let Harry up, who breathed a sigh of relief as he straightened his glasses.
"Hmm...Hey, Fred, don't you think it's time to switch to Plan 287?" George looked meaningfully at his twin.
"Smashing idea, love." Plan 287 was, of course, "Plan 287: Seduce the Delicious Griffindor Keeper".
At that moment, the "delicious Griffindor Keeper" in question was sitting on Fred's left, and was having an animated conversation with Lee Jordan (who was keeping him occupied in case the twins decided to go to Plan 287).
George locked eyes with Lee, and winked.
"Lo, Oliver, I have to go to the loo...be back in a tiff," Lee said, getting up and grinning knowingly at the twins.
George was up in a flash, plopping down on Oliver's left side.
"So, Olive old boy!"
"How are things treating you?"
Oliver chuckled. "Let me guess, this is Plan 284."
"287. And what makes you think that?" Fred got a clueless look on his face.
"Oh...I don't know...Lee might have hinted at something...and I know that look that you just gave each other. I haven't known you for all this time for nothing, you know." Oliver winked.
The twins' mouths dropped open. "But...but...you just ruined our fun!"
"You wanker! All the fun is in the chase!"
"Not necessarily," Oliver said, dropping his voice low and placing one hand on each of the twins' legs.
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph," George breathed as Fred's eyes glazed over slightly. Oliver Wood...wanted them!
"So, I heard there was a plan afoot?" Oliver smiled deviously.
"Oh, oh, yes...I believe it should start something like this..." Fred leaned over to run his lips softly along Oliver's jaw.
"And I do believe it should continue like this..." George began running his fingertips along the inside of Oliver's thigh. Fred began a steady trail of kisses, finally giving Oliver a hot, steamy, =wanting= kiss on the lips. George then moved in to drop a series of pulling kisses on the underside of the Keeper's chin.
Without warning Oliver pounced, pushing Fred over on the couch and unknowingly right into a wide-eyed Harry's lap. George soon followed suit, and all three of them lay giggling on top of the mentally aroused Boy Who Lived.
Suddenly there was a very long series of crashes.
Dean looked up from his plottings with Angelina, Katie, Lavender, and Parvati.
Fred, George, and Oliver sat up in shock.
Colin Creevey, of course, began snapping photos.
Harry stared openmouthed in shock. Ron...and Seamus???
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*swish and flick*
Finitum Part 2!
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WARNINGS: This part is even slashier than the first part. (Slash would imply "quite a bit of male/male bonding", as my dear mum commented is prevalent in my "stuff"...*falls over laughing*) This chapter also has: 1.) Implied twincest, 2.) Unmerciful harassing of everyone's favorite Quidditch Seeker and complete natural on a broomstick (yes, that was meant to be naughty), 3.) Oliver Wood, 4.) Attempted =and= successful seduction, 5.) Insights into exactly what Colin =does= do with all those photos, and 6.) More shameless, kawaii, Harry/Ron shipping. Oh, and a bit of comic overuse of the expression "Jesus, Mary and Joseph". *huge, exaggerated wink and cheesy grin*
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
Love and Longing in the Common Room
By Akira Ichijouji
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
PART 2 -- HARRY, FREDNGEORGE, AND OLIVER WOOD
From his place on the "Sofa of Honour", Harry was being unmercifully harassed.
"Come on, Harry!" George brandished a sickly green Every-Flavor-Bean.
"I don't think it's anything bad..." Fred grinned.
"I think it's just an apple one..." George waved the bean "temptingly" in front of Harry.
"Yeah, come on, what's the worst that can happen?"
"If you're so bloody obsessed with it, why don't you eat it yourselves?" Harry addressed both twins.
"We've had too much candy already."
"Yeah, we're really not supposed to have it at all, and any more could quite possibly kill us." Fred and George looked evilly at each other.
Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm not =that= dense."
Both twins pouted.
Harry glanced across the Common Room, noting Ron's disgruntled expression. He looked exactly how Harry felt. The bespectacled boy hadn't been able to say two words to Ron since the beginning of the Quidditch match, and he was starting to miss his best friend, even though they were sitting less than twenty feet apart. There was simply just too large (and too interested) a crowd around the sofa for Harry to make an escape.
*Click* *Click* *Click* *Click* *Click*
"Colin, please stop..." Harry shot a martyred look at the camera-wielding kid, who was, as usual, taking mad photos of the Quidditch team -- and mainly Harry.
"I think someone's got a crush on you," whispered George in one of Harry's ears.
"A =terrible=, =death defying=, =idolizing= crush," whispered Fred in Harry's other ear.
"We =know=."
"We saw him with one of your pictures, stretched out on the bed and..."
"FRED!!!" Harry stared open-mouthed at the redhead, who was grinning from ear to ear.
George winked at his twin. "I'm sure all Fred was going to say was..."
Harry clapped both hands over his ears. "I can't hear you, I can't hear you..."
After a few minutes of non-incident, George winked again.
Fred winked back. Stage two of "Plan 286: Seduce the Boy Who Lived" was about to take effect.
"Ready?" George mouthed at Fred.
Fred shook his head, grinning in a decidedly evil fashion, then looked meaningfully at Harry, obviously flicking his eyes across the room several times. George followed Harry's gaze, and realized that the delicious Griffindor Seeker was staring unabashedly, with a little smile on his face, across the room, at none other than...
Ron.
George flashed an identical evil smile back at Fred after mouthing "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" It was too good to be true.
"So, you know, Harry, Colin isn't the only one with a crush on you..." Fred clasped his hands in front of him as Harry looked decidedly horrified.
"We forgot to mention it earlier..."
"Very important, that..."
"Oooooh, George, do you think we =should=?"
"Oooooh, I don't =know=...he might be very upset with us..."
"Yeah, he might not be too happy with us if we told Harry about the time we walked in on him and he was..."
"In bed..."
Harry looked even more horrified, if that were possible.
"...Talking about him in his sleep," Fred finished finally, snickering. The Seeker looked immensely relieved.
"What, did you think we were going to say something else?" George said, turning to Harry, all innocence.
"Hmmmm, I don't think =Ron= would have wanted us to say that in front of Harry...oooooops..." Fred clapped his hands over his mouth, pretending to have said too much.
"FRED! We promised!"
Harry choked. "R-R-Ron?" he stammered, looking from one twin to the other. "Y-Y-You're joking right? You're pulling my leg, aren't you? I-I mean, you're Fred and George, you don't exactly have the reputation...Wait, I =know= you're lying."
"We might be," Fred said mysteriously.
"But we might not be," George said, just as mysteriously.
Harry felt his neck heating up. The idea of Ron talking about him (among other things) in his sleep was appealing to him a =lot= more than it should. A blush spread over his face.
"Uh oh, Harry's blushing..." George said, softly taunting.
"Uh oh, =I= think =someone's= got a crush back..."
Harry turned even redder.
"He DOES! He DOES!"
"Ah Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" Fred said in a mock-Irish accent. Both twins were grinning like Christmas had come early.
Harry hid his face in his hands. He just couldn't bring himself to lie in direct confrontations. He snuck a peek at Ron, who seemed to be having an argument with Seamus. Harry couldn't...couldn't...actually =like= him, could he?
He did. He =so= did.
Harry suddenly felt one arm go around his waist and another around his shoulders. The twins were pinning him to the back of the couch. The bespectacled boy started as he felt lips brush his ear.
"Heh heh, about earlier..."
"We were lying about that crush..."
"Of course, now that we know =you= have one..."
"It's not a lie anymore, now is it?"
Lips brushed Harry's other ear. He was staring wide-eyed off into space, trying to pretend that the twins were =not= groping him. *Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God.*
"So...We know one way we could keep from letting the fact you like him slip..."
"He =is= our brother...and letting things slip is our specialty..." Fred was rubbing small circles on Harry's stomach.
Even though nothing would get him to sleep with the twins, the pure =idea= was, frankly, arousing. And whatever George was doing to his ear was spectacular.
"Um, no...stop please..." Harry tried to get up, but was held back on the couch by two pairs of arms.
"In that case..."
"We may have to go to Plan 286 B..."
"What's plan 286 B?"
"=You= know."
The twins grinned at each other again, then began tickling Harry unmercifully. Harry eeped, and struggled.
"REVENGE!!!" whooped Fred, as George dived in for the kill.
After a few minutes of struggling, cursing, flailing, and biting, the twins let Harry up, who breathed a sigh of relief as he straightened his glasses.
"Hmm...Hey, Fred, don't you think it's time to switch to Plan 287?" George looked meaningfully at his twin.
"Smashing idea, love." Plan 287 was, of course, "Plan 287: Seduce the Delicious Griffindor Keeper".
At that moment, the "delicious Griffindor Keeper" in question was sitting on Fred's left, and was having an animated conversation with Lee Jordan (who was keeping him occupied in case the twins decided to go to Plan 287).
George locked eyes with Lee, and winked.
"Lo, Oliver, I have to go to the loo...be back in a tiff," Lee said, getting up and grinning knowingly at the twins.
George was up in a flash, plopping down on Oliver's left side.
"So, Olive old boy!"
"How are things treating you?"
Oliver chuckled. "Let me guess, this is Plan 284."
"287. And what makes you think that?" Fred got a clueless look on his face.
"Oh...I don't know...Lee might have hinted at something...and I know that look that you just gave each other. I haven't known you for all this time for nothing, you know." Oliver winked.
The twins' mouths dropped open. "But...but...you just ruined our fun!"
"You wanker! All the fun is in the chase!"
"Not necessarily," Oliver said, dropping his voice low and placing one hand on each of the twins' legs.
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph," George breathed as Fred's eyes glazed over slightly. Oliver Wood...wanted them!
"So, I heard there was a plan afoot?" Oliver smiled deviously.
"Oh, oh, yes...I believe it should start something like this..." Fred leaned over to run his lips softly along Oliver's jaw.
"And I do believe it should continue like this..." George began running his fingertips along the inside of Oliver's thigh. Fred began a steady trail of kisses, finally giving Oliver a hot, steamy, =wanting= kiss on the lips. George then moved in to drop a series of pulling kisses on the underside of the Keeper's chin.
Without warning Oliver pounced, pushing Fred over on the couch and unknowingly right into a wide-eyed Harry's lap. George soon followed suit, and all three of them lay giggling on top of the mentally aroused Boy Who Lived.
Suddenly there was a very long series of crashes.
Dean looked up from his plottings with Angelina, Katie, Lavender, and Parvati.
Fred, George, and Oliver sat up in shock.
Colin Creevey, of course, began snapping photos.
Harry stared openmouthed in shock. Ron...and Seamus???
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
*swish and flick*
Finitum Part 2!
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