(Begin Log)

00:00:00

"So, what happened on that day?"

"Well, me and my buddies were walking through the forest when we see this guy. He was all hunched over and looked like he hadn't eaten in days. So we threw food at him, but he didn't eat any of it. So Tom is all 'What the fuck man?! We give you food and you waste it! That's not right man!' Well, the thing stands up and just walks away. So Tom grabs it and looks at its face, hell, we all looked at its face. It just starts screaming and shit so we booked it."

"Ah, so when you looked at its face, did it hide its face and after a couple of minutes become enraged?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"There's a reason we have you behind an observation window."

"Why is that?"

"Well, you only have a few moments before it… Do you hear screaming?"

The door suddenly bursts open and the 'Shy Guy' is banging on the window, trying to get to SCP-096-1.

"God damn it! Please tell command that SCP-096 is a complete fucking retard… with long arms. Oh shit… did I see his face? No, it's not looking at me… Shut the fuck up! Why can't you do it quietly?! Why do you have to fucking scream?! Jesus Christ!"

SCP-096

Description: SCP-096 is a humanoid creature measuring approximately 2.38 meters in height. Subject shows very little muscle mass, with preliminary analysis of body mass suggesting mild malnutrition. Arms are grossly out of proportion with the rest of the subject's body, with an approximate length of 1.5 meters each. Skin is mostly devoid of pigmentation, with no sign of any body hair.

SCP-096's jaw can open to four (4) times the norm of an average human. Other facial features remain similar to an average human, with the exception of the eyes, which are also devoid of pigmentation. It is not yet known whether SCP-096 is blind or not. It shows no signs of any higher brain functions, and is not considered to be sapient.

SCP-096 is normally extremely docile, with pressure sensors inside its cell indicating it spends most of the day pacing by the eastern wall. However, when someone views SCP-096's face, whether it be directly, via video recording, or even a photograph, it will enter a stage of considerable emotional distress. SCP-096 will cover its face with its hands and begin screaming, crying, and babbling incoherently. Approximately one (1) to two (2) minutes after the first viewing, SCP-096 will begin running to the person who viewed its face (who will from this point on be referred to as SCP-096-1).

Documented speeds have varied from thirty-five (35) km/h to ███ km/h, and seems to depend on distance from SCP-096-1. At this point, no known material or method can impede SCP-096's progress. The actual position of SCP-096-1 does not seem to affect SCP-096's response; it seems to have an innate sense of SCP-096-1's location. Note: This reaction does not occur when viewing artistic depictions.

Upon arriving at SCP-096-1's location, SCP-096 will proceed to kill and [DATA EXPUNGED] SCP-096-1. 100% of cases have left no traces of SCP-096-1. SCP-096 will then sit down for several minutes before regaining its composure and becoming docile once again. It will then attempt to make its way back to its natural habitat, [DATA REDACTED]

Due to the possibility of a mass chain reaction, including breach of Foundation secrecy and large civilian loss of life, retrieval of subject should be considered Alpha priority.

Dr. ███ has also petitioned for immediate termination of SCP-096. Order is awaiting approval. Termination order has been approved, and is to be carried out by Dr. ███ on [DATA REDACTED].

"Hey, I said anything with a dash jay at the end! SCP-096 doesn't belong here!"

"I'm sorry, but that's funny though!"

"Well, take it the fuck out and begin with another SCP!"

"Fine..."

(Begin log)

00:00:00

Major Alex has become irritated with the scientists and now mediates with SCP-096… "How is he not dead?"

"I have no fucking idea! The 'Uhmmms' he makes must calm oh nine six."

"Really? That's all we needed to do?! Just hum random sounds?! What the fuck?!"

Following incident 7-12-97, Major Alex and Lieutenant Ryan are no longer to have races with SCP-096. Too many D class personnel have gone missing due to these weird races where they make the D class look at SCP-096 and when it starts to scream, they drive as fast as they can. That is not allowed anymore ever.

Following the incident, Alex had this to say; "The fucker wins every time! I swear, if I didn't know any better, I think he's cheating. I floor the gas pedal until I'm reaching nearly a hundred and fifty, and that bastard opens the back door and still rips apart the D class bastard. He's probably doing drugs and other shit, the skinny bastard!"

Unfortunately, oh nine six does not due drugs. He is involved in our antidrug campaign 'If you do drugs, oh nine six will get you!'

So far, it's worked extremely well.

Incident 7-34-97 gave proof that our flag was still… sorry, gave proof that we should not be playing music to oh nine six. Especially any music or videos that refer to 'The Harlem Shake'. Last thing we need is oh nine six running upstairs and killing the scientists again. I mean, c'mon people! Everyone knows that you don't look at its face, you idiots! I mean- Damn it Alex! Meditating with… why is there a bag over oh nine six? Why is there a roped tied to his feet? Why are they pulling him until he's upside down? What the fuck people?! Wow, that bag sure stayed on…

Alex's comments: "What? We needed a piñata..."

SCP-777

Darkblade

Description: SCP-777 or Darkblade (Blade for short), as he chooses to be called is white male of about 17 years old. He has flowing white hair with green highlights and crystal blue eyes that reflect a dark past. He is clad in ebony armor that he made himself.

His effect on female personnel (which may not even be a supernatural effect) is very powerful. He is a smooth pimp, who gets all the ladies. He has chosen Iris as his bride though to wed when his mission is over. His element is water, which he has full control of, and he has a pet dragon, who must be referred to as "Set".

Blade's power of water as well as his supernatural skill with a Katana protects him from all harm. When he is attacked in any way water shields will appear around him and deflect the attack back to the attackers.

Alex's comment on Darkblade: "Why do I have to do it? Oh fine… He's awesome as all get out, but the dude freaks me out… how can he have swords pull other swords out of other dimensions? C'mon! And the fucker had Lieutenant Elizabeth [Data expunged] and then she [Data Expunged] not to mention [Date fucking expunged]. So yeah, I'm a little jealous, but whatever."