A/N: Hello readers! Can I just say first and foremost: WOW! Never in a MILLION years did I think I would get such a reaction for my prologue as I did -It's crazy! In this alone, I have more reviews than my other stories put together ^_^' Kind of weird, right? Anyway, I know you guys have been waiting forever for this chapter and I've had to mail some of you with my apologies, but for everyone I didn't mail, I give you all a collective bow and "Gomenasai!" Most have waited patiently and so, I can now present you with CHAPTER ONE, finally XD! I have very good intentions for this fic and I hope that this chappy isn't much of a disappointment from the prologue. My Editor has been working extra hard to get this up and ready before Christmas (We cut it close, I know, but we made it!) This is my gift to you and I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji nor hold claim to any of the characters in this fic other than my own (Them being Lulu, Safaia, Starla and Bailey). I only own this plot and all my OCs. I also do not own Emilie Autumn or the lyrics featured in this chapter, they were merely my muse :)
Warnings: (Possible)OOC-ness, future yaoi/yuri content, AU and any OC's that pop up along the way
"I'm more than happy in my candlelight
How strange, how strange
That you should come to my dominion
In the middle of the darkest night
How strange, how strange
That you should even try"
- "How Strange", Emilie Autumn
Chapter 1: His Butler, Seeking
Present Day
Ciel
Red. It was the colour that stained my vision -the colour that blotched all my senses. I couldn't see anything else but deep, terrifying, crimson, blood red. Maniacal cackles and the snapping of some sort of ferocious wind echoed in my ears -A constant whipping and whirring sound that made me only conscious of but a few small things. Through the red there was a haze of violet and after that only black, but it was rapidly fading. Lashes of pain seized me and I thought that I heard myself crying out, but that couldn't be true -I'd never allow myself to do that, to make my feelings known like that. I couldn't -it hurt too much to even think about it. The only thing I could be certain of was a growing sense that freedom was close by, a rising yearning that had yet to reach it's climax and spill out. In a way, for that, I didn't mind the pain. If it promised me something that I truly wanted, then the pain was nothing at all -agony wasn't existent. An odd iciness was consuming me, burning and searing, disorientating everything. My fingertips were starting to go numb, and maybe my toes as well, this weird chill creeping up and up, dragging me further and further in to…somewhere? Where? Where was I being dragged? What awaited me when I got there? All I knew was the darkness, it was gradually growing ever closer to me, plummeting down and crushing, making my whole world a dulled paradise of the former brilliance, the former world I had learned to call Hell.
Ciel grimaced, leaning forward in his seat. The same dream -it was exact same weird dream that had been plaguing his mind for months. Every time he fell asleep -every time he let his mind wander off- there it was, annoying him again.
The teen felt his fingers ball into a fist under the desk, his nails digging into the soft flesh of his creamy palm. He gave a gentle sigh. It was even worse because he had no idea what the hell it was supposed to mean, because all he ever saw was that same stupid colour, that same irritating red. Why? Why that colour of all the colours in this world? And why did it always come in such a mysterious and cryptic way with no real answer or reasoning when he tried and tried to solve it and delve deeper? Truth was, the teen didn't know. Ciel didn't even like the colour red so why it plagued him, he hadn't the foggiest. Red was too flamboyant and too wild -too… uncontrolled. It wasn't cool or calming or understandable…like, say, blue, for instance. Ciel liked blue -he liked it very much in comparison to red. Blue was…it was a colour he knew well, a colour that was familiar and greeted him every morning when he looked in the mirror and saw it reflecting back in his own eyes -It was a colour he could trust, but red? No, he didn't understand that.
Shuffling in his chair, Ciel tapped his pen against the table, glancing at the clock at the front of the classroom. He sighed once more, but this time in exasperation for the coming minutes. There was still over half an hour of this torment left to endure. Ciel was going to go crazy.
Deciphering the scroll of letters and numbers on the board at the front of the classroom that the teacher had written up, the teen rolled his eyes, easily working out what the general idea of the working was -It wasn't like it was difficult- amongst the mass of neat equations and precise arithmetic. It seemed the boredom was set to continue.
Luckily, he didn't need to suffer much more of this. Just a moment or so later, there a quiet rap on the door and his attention was diverted to the corner of the room, not that it proved to be much more entertaining. Along with him the entire span of the classroom -about thirty or so heads- all turned around simultaneously at the loud tapping sound in curiosity, cocking their heads. Ciel must have been one of the few that didn't actually care, his eyes falling back on the their teacher, Mr Spears. He wore an expression of utter annoyance that caused the edges of Ciel's lips to quirk up in amusement at the professor's irritation. For some reason, it was ridiculously amusing to see the guy annoyed so easily by something so trivial and common as a student. Why not? That teacher was always making everyone's life a misery with his near-frown and hawk-like glare of death. To most kids he was nothing short of terrifying.
The culprit of the green eyed man's disdain was a lanky teen with spunky blond hair sticking up in all angles. He looked positively scared to death, edging his way through the door and wincing the moment he pushed it open, hearing the soprano screech that escalated from the hinges in protest. In the boy's shaking hands was a tiny slip of baby-pink paper that was getting more crumpled by the minute with the way his hands were twitching. Sweat was beginning to form on the teen's brow, making Ciel want to burst out laughing at such a pathetic kid.
Coward, he commented internally, why bother coming up here to deliver a note if you can't even get through the door?
Spears was glaring at said teen with a deathly glare. "Yes?" He said, using a cane he often used to gesture to things on his board to push his glasses up his nose. His voice was cold and bitter and bland of any emotion as the lenses flashed warningly, turning opaque. The moment the glass became clear again, Ciel was willing to bet the boy wished it hadn't with a stare like that directed at him. "What is so important that you feel the need to disturb my class, boy?"
The boy shuddered visibly, offing the teacher the small piece of paper. "S-sorry, Sir." The blonde stuttered, "I was asked to give you this."
Spears tsked, taking the slip. "Were you really?" He asked flatly, reading the note under his nose. The boy stood waiting, probably not even sure what to do with himself. The teacher's eyes flickered up and he scowled at the blond. "All right, you may go." Needless to say, the teen needed no further instruction and was out of there quicker than a guy with his ass on fire. Suddenly a jolt of warning rode right up a certain black-haired student and Ciel felt a little uneasy.
Pink paper, he realised, that's the paper used by the…oh, crap…
A frown furrowed his brow along with a grievous twitch of his eyebrows. A twitch that consequently grew en masse when Spears reared his ugly head in his direction, smirking sarcastically.
"Mr Phantomhive," He announced, "It appears you have an appointment you have to attend right now."
Ciel didn't miss the heavy use of smugness in the teacher's voice, gritting his teeth. No way did he want to acknowledge that he'd received another pink slip. He hated pink slips. Hated them.
"I don't have a damn appointment." He growled in protest and Spears arched an eyebrow, flipping the paper around so the entire class could see his name scrawled in a nice hand over the paper, along with the teachers signature.
"Language, Mr Phantomhive." Spears warned, "And I believe that Ms Durless would beg to differ. It says here that you're supposed to be with her right now."
Just as expected, as soon as that name reached the ears of the students, they all began gossiping in a flurry of whispers and excited murmurs, erupting into a wave of curious chatter. The teen began slowly gathering his things.
"Ms Durless? Isn't she the school shrink?" One muttered, "Yeah, but, oh my god, haven't you heard?" The other asked, "Heard what?" The first questioned, the voice of their friend hushing instantly, "That Ciel kid -a couple of months ago, he tried to kill himself." "No way!"
Ciel stood up abruptly, his brow twitching in anger as pink began to colour his cheeks and publish his shame to the world. Striding to the front of the class, he snatched the slip from his teacher, holding his bag strap close to his shoulder as he turned and gave a glare to the two girls who sat at the front and were eyeing him warily. It had been these two who had been spilling his secrets to the class. Ciel gave a harsh tsk, turning on his heel and walking right out of that room and the snickering amusement and mockery and pity that sat in the eyes of so many of his classmates. Hell to them, they could look at him like that all they wanted. He didn't need their sympathy. He didn't need their sarcastic looks or remarks. He didn't need their ugly thoughts about him or the lies they spat. Ciel was his own person and to hell with anyone who tried to piss him off. He strut down the hall like he didn't care about anyone, half debating whether he should go to this stupid appointment and half whether he should skip and risk them calling his parents. He decided that getting his parents worried and having them lecture him wasn't worth it, so he swallowed his pride and he went to see the damn shrink in her damn office where she waited for him. Whatever, it was probably better to get it over and done with anyway, he reasoned. Taking a deep breath before the door, Ciel pulled down the latch and entered, knocking politely before he did so.
"Come in." A voice called.
Closing the door quietly behind him, the teen went straight to his usual designated spot in the room, dumping his bag at his feet and making himself comfortable on the couch. Ms Durless had her back to him, clacking away at a laptop keyboard on her desk, a stack of papers piled up to the side of her along with other more colourful leaflets and sheets lined in wire racks and in folders. The screen cleared up after a moment or so and the red-headed psychologist spun around to face her patient, a tender smile upon her red lips. Ciel sighed internally, his eyes narrowing.
There it is again, He grumbled in his mind, That awful colour, red. It's all over this woman, everywhere and painting everything. She's nothing but red. Her hair, her eyes, her lips, her waistcoat, her skirt, her boots. Everything is that same horrid colour I keep seeing but don't know the meaning of. It's just there, mocking me.
Ciel turned his face away so he wouldn't have to see such a concentrated amount of that one colour, preferring to stare at the cream wall instead. He didn't have anything against the woman herself -in fact, he thought she was pretty nice and sweet- but she was such a nuisance always giving him these pointless appointments just so she could stare at him and ask pointless questions. He didn't really trust her but, in truth, Ciel didn't trust anyone. It was the safest way to be.
"Good afternoon, Ciel." She smiled, adjusting the ovular spectacles on her nose . "How are you today?"
"Fine." He answered her with a clipped tone, begrudged to speak at all unless necessary. He didn't even want her knowing the slightest bit of information about him unless it was unavoidable so tended to keep his answers brief and to the point so she asked less questions. "Thank you." He added, remembering his manners.
"Good." She nodded, "That's wonderful. What about your parents? How are things going with you and your parents?"
"Fine." Ciel winced slightly at the mention of his parents, "We talk a lot more than before." When they have the time of day to even acknowledge I even exist, he grumbled in his head.
Ms Durless's head gave another gentle bob and she proceeded to write something down on the clipboard between her knees. Her scarlet bangs swayed gently as she wrote, skimming her collarbone and brushing over her cheeks, shining like a river of rubies. The rest of her hair was bundled up in a pretty do behind her head and ripples of it could only just be seen, giving the impression it was braided. When she was done, she swerved back around, opening a draw that had a key sticking out of it and pulling out a small plastic bottle.
"I'm glad you seem to be getting along with your parents better. They can help, you know, whether you believe it or not."
They can help me become a recluse, he shot back mentally.
Reaching behind her for a plastic shot-glass, Ms Durless proceeded to tipping the some of the contents of the bottle into the cup and offering it to Ciel, who took it with a grimace, along with the bottle of water she recovered from her mini fridge under the desk. She seemed to have everything stacked under there, Ciel had come to realised, either hidden in a draw or a closet. It was like bloody Mary Poppin's bag.
"First things first, though, before I forget." She chuckled, "Your medication."
Ciel nodded, emptying the contents of the cup into his mouth and taking a big swig of the water. He swallowed.
"Gone?" She asked, satisfied when the teen opened his mouth to reveal it was empty and spinning around to note it down. While she did this, Ciel took that moment to do what could only be done when her back was turned. Lifting his tongue, he removed the disgusting tablets from his mouth and silently wrapped then in a stray sweet wrapper he'd saved exactly for this purpose, twisting it up tight and tossing it in the bin. His lips lifted into a devious smile.
She never saw a thing, He thought, bemused. What a waste -I don't even need those stupid pills- I'm not crazy. I know that I'm not crazy
The smile immediately slipped from the boy's face when the shrink turned back around, pen at the ready, hovering over her open folder. "So, tell me what you've been doing this week." She said, flicking through last week's notes "Have you been hanging out with friends, maybe? It says here that you were going on a date last week, right? How did that go?"
Ciel rolled his eyes out of the teacher's line of sight. "Fine." He told her, "And it wasn't a date -Lizzy invited me to the movies- it's not a big deal."
Ms Durless chuckled, "Good." She mumbled, scribbling something in, "How did Lizzy find it? Did she have a good time? You didn't have any…problems?"
Ciel's eyes narrowed. Why don't you just come out and ask me what you really wanna ask me -like, if I've had any urge to commit suicide this week? All this dodging around is just bull. What did I do? How did it go? Who was I with? How did they react to it? It's always the same kind of questions. How dull and pointless.
"No. No problems." Ciel answered, his fingers curling into fists. He knew exactly what problems she meant. Sometimes the black-haired boy could have a nasty temper and would end up getting into fights or making an scene. Ciel was always begrudged to do this, but once his patience snapped, he was somewhat intolerable if you were on the receiving end of his anger and revenge. He always got back those that had done wrong to him. Always. "Lizzy had a good time. She gave me her number."
"That's great!" The teacher praised him, "I guess that means you two will be spending a lot of time together then from now on. It's always wonderful to have a nice circle of friends around you."
You mean a circle of gossiping idiots.
Ciel nodded in answer, knowing that somehow, this was going to be a very long and dull session.
Some time later…
Emerging from the psychologist's base of operations, the blue-black haired boy felt more drained than ever, and slightly irked that he'd been forced to suffer that. He was rubbing the bridges of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and wondering why the hell he had thought it possible that had been a better option than a lecture from his never-present parents. Ciel was in need of a serious waking up before he was forced to go to his next class or he'd never be able to focus -his head was all mixed up from all Ms. Durless' questions. She'd practically asked him about everything -from homework to what he'd had for breakfast- and everything beyond. It made him overwhelmingly weary every time.
At least it's done now, he reasoned, heading down the corridor to the boy's bathroom -the only place that was bound to be empty and quiet at this time- until the bell rang for next period. Until next week.
As Ciel had expected, opening the door of the lavatories, the place was completely desolate and -even better- it was chilly. A wave of cold air had seemed to settle in and surround the entire space, making goosebumps rise on his skin. It was a pleasant change. Being calm and cool was something that was familiar and something that he knew well. It was something that he could deal with, in comparison to the heated passion and constant firing of words he had just suffered. Ciel went straight to the sinks and splashed some cold water on his face, glad for the shiver that it brought on and the lovely feeling of tranquillity it gave. The icy temperature frosted over all his exposed nerve ending and numbed them, allowing him to focus once more and really concentrate without drifting.
The teen allowed his gaze to lift slowly, taking in quiet that hung thick in the air. The only sound present was a subtle thrumming coming from the air conditioning system attached to the wall. No wonder it was so cold in here with that going. The image before him reflected back a well-known face in the glass. It was what most girls called exceptionally beautiful with a halo of sleek blue-black -sometimes blue-grey depending on the light. (In this bathroom, Ciel's hair was a pretty dark, dark silver hued with sapphire to make a slate sort of shade)- spines running around his face softly and bright storm-blue eyes. Like his hair, his eyes were also a dark tone, like that of an eastern sea. Or at least, that was what his gaze should have been.
Ciel tsked under his breath, his hands dipping into his bag subconsciously and drawing out a few small objects that he set on the mirror ledge. One was a thin tubular bottle and the other a cardboard box. Upon flickering his eyes back up to the mirror, Ciel noticed that his right eye had began to show a violet ring around the edge of his iris and it was beginning to come through the rest of it. The teen's mouth folded into a harsh line.
Jeez…again? What a pain. The box said these ones should last hours, like eight hours. I've only had these in for about half that and they've burned out already? That can't be normal.
Skilfully and quickly, Ciel set to work positioning his fingers above and below before successfully drawing out his contact lens with his other hand. The tiny half-sphere sat comfortably on the tip of his index finger as the boy leant over the sink to look at it with squinted eyes. Just as he had predicted, the colour on it had somehow managed to fade out and the stupid thing had turned almost clear.
That really isn't normal, he grumbled, reminding himself as he did every time something like this happened -which, consequently seemed to be every couple of hours. Ciel groaned, tossing it into the bin so he could prepare a fresh one. He was just about to put it in when he heard the bathroom door creak and lowered his hand, closing his right eye firmly. The last thing he wanted was for some punk to come in and see the same annoying secret he'd been trying to cover up since elementary school. Ciel breathed a sigh of relief when he saw whom had entered the space, recognising the head of messy blond-orange hair and huge dark green eyes that held a smile all on their own. Finny stopped when he noticed his classmate stood there in front of the glass with a slightly peeved expression.
"Ciel." The boy grinned, "There you are. Lizzy was asked where you'd got to -some girls told her something about you going to see Ms Durless and she was freaking out."
The teen's eyes narrowed. "What did you tell her?"
"I told her it was rubbish and that they were just playing around, just like you asked me to."
Ciel nodded, "Good." He said, At least Lizzy won't know about this. If she knew I was seeing a shrink then chances are she'd probably stop hanging around with us. For some reason that bothers me, even though the girls irritates me to no end. I suppose she is kind of sweet.
"So…" Finny mumbled, squirming slight, "Did you go see Ms. Durless?"
Ciel just stared at him. "What do you think, moron? Do you think I'm standing in a bathroom because it's fun? Jeez, Fin, I knew you were an idiot, but use the brain at some point, 'kay?"
Finnian chuckled nervously, "Yeah…I guess. Sorry."
Ciel shrugged, shaking his head at the fool. His eyebrow quirked exponentially when the boy suddenly started bowing his head and trying to look around at him, intrigue obvious in his emerald eyes.
"Fin, didn't you come in here to pee or something?"
The blonde straightened, rubbing the back of his head. "Uh…well, yeah… but… I was just wondering…what are you doing? What's that on your finger?"
Ciel glanced down, realising he hadn't put the lens back. "Nothing." He grumbled, reaching for the case.
"It's a contact lens, right?" Finny asked, "It looks like one…I know because my sister wears them everyday. She's says they're murder to put in, but I had no idea you even wore contacts, let alone coloured ones. Aren't your eyes naturally blue?"
Ciel could feel a vein popping out on his forehead and a sadistically annoyed smile curling his lips. It's like the psychologist's examination all over again. Why bother asking me what it is if you already know? Idiot, idiot, idiot! Damn! I'm surrounded by morons!
"Yes, they are." Ciel snapped, "As you can see, I only have one and I'm not wearing a contact in my other eye."
"Oh…" Finnian breathed, his eyes sparkling. He smacked his fist into his open palm like he'd solved something miraculous. "Does this have something to do with that medical condition you have? I remember you used to wear an eye patch when we were kids! And that you'd be all mean if we tried to touch it…"
"Yes, it does." Ciel answered, remembering those days all too clearly. He was getting a headache.
"Yeah." Finny agreed, like he was answering his own questions Ciel obviously couldn't -and probably didn't even want to- hear. "You can't see out of your right eye, can you? I forgot all about that until now."
I wish you'd have stayed forgetting, the teen scowled. "Finny, can't you just go pee already? Dude, really. I'm not cleaning up after you if you wet yourself."
The blond wasn't listening though, he looked like he was pondering something before he turned the full force of his child-like eyes onto Ciel, them shimmering and pleading. "Can I see it?" He asked, "Pretty please? I've always wanted to know why you wore an eye patch and if you're wearing contacts then that must mean it looks different, right? So, can I see? Pretty, pretty please?"
Ciel leant away, rocking back on his heels to escape the pair of Bambi eyes fixated upon him, stripping away all his resistance and annoyance. Stunned and struggling to hold his composure, a tiny slither of fear had found it's way into his stomach, tying it in knots and giving him cramp. His open eye was wide with an incredulous look, but at the same time, a drop of nervous perspiration was beading down his neck. That look the boy was giving him…it was like a kid begging for candy -he just couldn't say no- or else the blond would start crying and wailing. Ciel found himself gritting his teeth an attempt to stick by his guns, but it became apparent he wasn't getting out of this, so he sighed, putting hand on the boy's shoulder and pushing him away.
"Fin, dude, cool it and stop staring at me like I'm your lunch or something. It's weird."
Ciel proceeded to begin rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger whilst the blond blinked at him, clueless. What had he gotten himself into?
"So, can I see it?" He asked again, cupping his hands together so he looked like he was praying or something. "I promise I won't tell if you really want to keep it a secret that bad. Honest! Have I ever let you down?"
He has a point…Ciel found himself thinking, reliving all those devious moments he'd had when he'd blackmailed the kid into keeping quiet about things, such as his visits to the shrink, amongst others. In truth, Finny was very reliable. He was stupid, sure, but he was loyal -sort of like a dog- and never did anything Ciel hadn't wanted him to or said he couldn't do. He hadn't complained or whined -he'd just accepted it with a smile and said that Ciel knew best. The teen had never argued different. Dropping his hand from his face, the blue-black haired boy decided he just couldn't be bothered arguing any more.
"Alright, alright. Just…chill, okay? And I swear, if you ever tell, then I will-"
Fin put his hand up, "Yeah, I know. Same stuff, right? Can I see it now?"
Ciel growled. Dork. He always interrupts when he's excited -he might be like a dog, but he's a damn hyperactive one. Once he get's carried away, that's it.
Ciel sighed again, then very slowly, lifted his lashes to reveal his right eye and his friend gasped, his eyes wide in wonder. The teen's iris was a pretty purple, almost like an amethyst, deep and imposing with a darker ring around the edge and surrounding the pupil.
"And to answer your earlier question; No, I can't see out of it. It just looks weird having two different colours so I cover it with a coloured lens to match my other one."
"Oh…" Fin nodded, captivated by the colour. "It's pretty."
Ciel snorted, "Yeah, but I wish the docs could tell me what's wrong with it. They have no idea why it's like this -according to them I'm more or less perfectly healthy."
Finny nodded, taking that it. "Cool. Don't worry, I won't tell, promise. After all, you did save me from those kids all them years ago. I still owe you."
Ciel gave him a blatant look. "Fin, that was back in elementary. It was about seven years ago. Forget it already."
Finny shook his head stubbornly. "No way! How could I? Until the day comes and I get to save you for once, then we're not even."
The teen's lips twitched, threatening a smile. "Whatever. Just pee, already. It's lunch in about two minutes and I still gotta put this in. Hurry up and I'll walk with you before we get swarmed."
The blond grinned as if he'd been told he'd won the lottery, his eyes lighting up. "Really, Ciel? Man, you're the best!"
As he scurried off into a cubicle, Ciel turned sharply back to the mirror, slipping the contact in and righting it so it covered the other colour perfectly, adding a few eye drops and packing at all away back in his bag in only a few minutes, way before the time it took for Finnian to emerge again and get himself organised. The teen was halfway down the corridor to the lunch line when the bell finally rang and he heard his friend running up behind him to catch up.
"Ciel, wait up!"
The teen rolled his eyes, stopping so the blonde could. "Hurry up!" He ordered, "If you make me loose out on all the decent cupcakes I will destroy you, little pawn."
Finny chuckled. "Yes, sir!" Hot on his heels, the blonde paused briefly, dawdling to a stop and making his friend turn back.
"What's up?" Ciel asked.
The boy shrugged, his brows coming together. "Dunno, but somehow, it feels as if I just got a bit of déjà vu a minute ago for some odd reason."
Ciel thought about it. Now that you mention it, he realised, I've had a feeling like that all day. You never know, maybe I am crazy and should have take those pills after all, the boy smirked.
No, he concluded, I'm not crazy. I know I'm not, and that is a definite. I am myself and I know my own mind.
Lulu de Marcelle
A high pitch sound erupted unexpectedly in the quiet halls of the Sinclair mansion, disrupting those that resided within and sending Lulu de Marcelle in a spin of frantic panic. The tray of freshly baked cookies that had been in her mittened hands was immediately -but gently- cast aside as she ripped the oven gloves from her fingers and strode out of the kitchen, down the exquisite halls and into the study. She sighed, scurrying to the back corner of the room whereby a grand desk stood with an open laptop buzzing away, various framed photographs and stacks of paper covering the immaculately polished wood. Pushing a button on the handset, Lulu lifted the received and pushed to her ear patiently.
"Ello?" She answered, a soft and exotic lilt rounding her words "Sinclair residence. How can I help today?"
"Oh, Lulu!" A female voice replied on the other side, "I was hoping it would be you that picked up. How is Ciel? Is my son home from school yet?"
Lowering herself into the desk chair, Lulu's eyes fell on the pictures populating the desk at the mention of the boys name. "Oui," She replied, "He was home about an hour ago, Madame. If you want, I can put you straight through and you may speak to him yourself."
"No! No!" The woman said too quickly, "I, um, couldn't. He's bound to be doing homework or something and I have so much work to do that I couldn't possibly-!" She chuckled nervously, "You know how kids are. He's probably busy."
Oui, the French maid thought with exasperation, a feeling of deep disappointment and pity rising in her, but I am sure the poor child wouldn't mind a few lost minutes of his time if it mean you would speak to him, Madame. Poor, poor boy. Is it any wonder the boy is lost when he has no one to show him the way back and his own mother is reluctant to have a conversation with him?
"So, by any chance did Ciel happen to tell you anything about what his, um… his, uh…"
Lulu rolled her eyes, feeling a little disgusted. The woman couldn't even say the word because of her ludicrous embarrassment "Oui, Madame. Ciel said his meeting with the psychologist went well. She asked him the same questions as usual."
"A-and there were no…problems? She said he had…improved?"
"I spoke to her myself just under an hour ago to confirm what Ciel said. She told me he is still giving her short answers and very little to go on, but he is better than before and seems to respond with less hesitation."
"Good. Good." The mistress breathed, "Has he had his medication yet?"
Madame, your son does not need medication, she wanted to say, what he needs is your trust and love and support, rather than this shame and doubt. "No. He usually has them with his dinner, Madame. Am I to give him them earlier than usual?"
"Please do, Lulu. Oh, and please, don't make dinner tonight. That was the main reason I was calling. You see, we had a breakthrough at work today and me and Adrian won't be able to make it -we've been invited to a dinner party over at the Aoi estate. I was rather hoping Ciel would be able to attend with us, if it isn't going to be too much for him. The last thing me and Adrian want is to push him over the edge."
Lulu wanted to yell at the block-headed woman. Push her son over the edges -what kind of joke was that?- Ciel was perfectly stable and more or less the same as what he was before that time. To Lulu he hadn't seemed to have changed at all, except become perhaps a little quieter than what he had and earning himself an attitude spike every now and then. "He should be fine, Madame." Lulu stated with certainty. "Your son is strong. What happened six months ago is the past."
"…even so…" Mrs Sinclair said, dodging the subject with a hesitant tone that made Lulu feel sick with sorrow, "Just have him be ready then for eight and we'll have a car sent for him. Is that alright?"
"Oui, Madame. He'll be ready." Lulu confirmed before silently lowering the receiver back onto the handset. A part of her was furious with her mistress for being so blind to her own child -Shelly Sinclair had barely spoken to her son at all and still proceeded to avoid doing so at every chance just to lower the risk that she would say something that would send him over the edge. Her cautious behaviour had become ridiculous- however, some part of Lulu also felt compassion because, at the same time, the Madam was still trying to understand and still yearning to know how her son was with her constant phones calls to ask about his progress. She was obviously scared but didn't know how to deal with it, nor herself. She was ashamed, yet proud. She was concerned, yet light-hearted and cheerful, even if her heart was heavy on the inside, because she was too stubborn to allow her panic to show on her face in her son's presence -a trait both mother and child seemed to share- and have him feel guilty. She blamed herself, yet she was also blamed others -the school, the boy's friends- because she didn't know who was truly at fault. In truth, all were confused and all were precarious, except for perhaps Ciel himself.
Rising from the seat, Lulu glanced at the small watch she had pinned to her apron. It said Ciel had just over two hours to get ready, which was more than enough. It wasn't as if she would have to spend a large amount of time looking for the boy, because he hardly even moved. He was located easily in his room upstairs, amongst a mass of other closed oaken doors, in the only fully modernised space in the mansion where his parent's old fashioned sense of style and love for antiques didn't dominate like it did everywhere else. The teen didn't even notice the maid's entry when she knocked politely, then opened the door, ducking inside to find him otherwise preoccupied with himself. Lulu almost smiled.
This boy, she mused, he has this entire huge space of a room and yet he still only puts himself in that same tiny hole in a wall.
Ciel Sinclair was seated in a padded alcove similar to that of a window seat, a pair of stylish and artistically decorated headphones wrapped around his head, covering his ears, clearly blocking out all surrounding sound.
Looks like he didn't hear the phone after all then, Lulu concluded, fighting a chuckle. She lost, the sound escaping her lips, much to the ignorance of Ciel.
A long wire that was fluorescent green extended from the said headset and disappeared into the inside of the midnight blue hoody the teen was wearing over a pair of simple black jeans and untied, slack, military boots. He appeared to be reading, clutching a thick volume in his hands that had his full attention, his blue eye running over the text quickly. The other -his right eye, which Lulu knew was purple in colour- was covered by a white medical patch, black tendrils of his longish hair flowing over it and skimming the sides of his neck.
Lulu sighed. It was obvious that she'd never get the boy to notice her if she just stood there, so she went to him and tapped him on the shoulder, her amusement growing when his eye snapped up suddenly and looked slightly startled. The book was closed in an instant and Ciel pulled his headset down so it hung around neck, that same blue eye narrowing.
"Lulu? What's up?" He asked "You just scared the crap outta me."
Lulu chuckled. "You should pay attention, cher. Those headphones dull your senses." She said, "Is your homework done?"
Ciel rolled his eyes at her, looking distinctively bored and having lost interest in the conversation at the first mention of school. "Yes." He mumbled, "It was done ages ago. Is that all you wanted?" Clutching the headset, he was about to push them back up to his ears when Lulu scowled.
"No." She told him, waiting with an arched brow until he let go of the headphones and let them stay firmly around his neck, before speaking again. "Your mother called."
"How entertaining." The teen scoffed, "If she keeps this up I might start thinking she actually cares."
Lulu looked at him disapprovingly. "Now, listen here, cher, I won't have you saying things like that about your mama. She does care about you -a lot- whether you want to believe it or not."
Ciel gave her a challenging eyeball, his blue eye turning dark, "Really? I take it she was just dying to talk to me then?"
The housekeeper looked away from the boy, wishing that Shelley Sinclair wasn't such a fool and she had been wanting to speak to her son just so that horrid and cruel smug look wouldn't be painted on his face.
"Somehow, I didn't think so."
The brunette woman hated it when Ciel was like this and he let his overconfidence show. He could be terribly nasty when he was proud like this -just like his father- even if he only meant to tease and play around. It wasn't nice at all when Lulu knew full well he had a gentler and more loving side. Six months before, Ciel would never have behaved like a brat in front of Lulu, but now…this side of him seemed to be becoming more potent everyday.
"Ciel Sinclair, I won't tolerate this attitude. Do you hear me? A lady does not deserve to be spoken to this way."
Lulu glared at him, but that only appeared to make him worse, a sarcastic smirk tugging at his lips. "A lady? You aren't one of those, Lulu. You're not even my nanny -you're just an idiot that gets paid to clean some wealthy jerk's house because you can't do anything else. As the son of your employer, I'm not going to be ordered around like a child, either. I'll just kick you out. It's not like I can't look after myself."
Lulu's lip trembled and she drew in a sharp breath, feeling her lungs shudder and her eyes sting, but she wasn't going to let this boy make her feel like this. She was better than this, so she bit her lip and she glared some more, narrowing her own eyes to meet the challenge.
"If that is true, ma cher, then please tell me why I must report to your mother every detail of your meetings with your psychologist? Why I must cook your every meal and clean your clothes and tidy up after you constantly? You are so much of a man that you let a woman baby you all the time and act like a spoilt child."
"It's a great life, huh?" Ciel grinned, mocking her.
"So great you wanted to end it yourself." She shot back, and regretted it instantly. Lulu knew before it had come out she should have just bitten her tongue before she could say anything stupid, but now it was too late. If Ciel's expression had been cold then, it was freezing now, the only heat showing was in his eyes and it was a scolding anger that made his lips fold into a line. Lulu's chest tightened, feeling heavy with guilt. Reaching out to touch him, she gasped in shock when he slapped her hand away harshly.
"Don't touch me." He growled.
Her eyes were stinging. "Cher, I'm sorry." She said softly. "But what did you expect me to say when you sit there and give me abuse? I care for you as much as your parents and I'm trying to understand why it is you do this to me -why you do this to yourself- when I know this isn't the real you."
"Isn't it?" He asked, his voice as brittle and sharp as a road of glass shards. Lulu couldn't help but feel it was a road she had been forced to walk. "What the hell do you know? How could you possibly know who the real me is? I am myself and I regret nothing. You're just a common fool and it's pathetic that you feel the need to grovel at my feet just for stating the truth. Everyone I know is like you and it makes me sick because the lot of you are all liars. My parent's love me! Ha! They love me so much they stuck me in a psychiatric ward for six weeks and bribe the school to have the local quack ask me questions while feeding me drugs! If that's love, then I'd be overjoyed to see their hatred!"
"They do love you." Lulu insisted, "They just don't understand. None of us do because it was so sudden. One minute you were happy, and the next…everything was in flames. Not even you know why. What are we supposed to get from that? Your parents only acted like that to protect you -I might admit it was reckless and I didn't agree with it- but they walk on eggshells with you constantly to make sure they don't push you too far."
Ciel sighed, and Lulu noticed his gaze soften a tad. He looked to be shrinking back inside himself, at least for the moment, that heated fury cooling gently to a pained curiosity. "Ms. Durless says that's normal, to lose your memories of a traumatic event. Sometimes, you never get them back."
The brunette tried once more to reach out, and this time, she succeeded and he allowed her to clutch his hand. "Cher, you set an abandoned building on fire and locked yourself inside for no reason. You tried to end your own life. If that isn't trauma, then I don't know what could be."
The boy was silent for what felt like a millennium, the time dragging to an aching stop that clutched the housekeeper with fear and anxiety. He was obviously thinking, though what he thought about she couldn't guess. He had so much hatred and darkness inside him that it was almost as scary as his looks, but at the same time, he could sometimes be so selfless and bright. Everything was clean-cut. With Ciel, Lulu had found he was both dark or light. His heart was pure, that much she knew, because you could see he cared what people thought and he did have a vulnerable side, until he put on his black mask to cover everything up and he hid away all his emotions, turning cruel.
"What did my mother want?" He asked finally.
Lulu smiled, happy just that he was speaking to her. At least something in those sessions with Angelina were getting to him, enough that he would talk. "She and your father have been invited to a dinner party at the Aoi estate. She wanted you to go with them. You'll have to change and start getting ready otherwise you'll be late. There's a car coming at eight for you."
Ciel nodded, acknowledging his duties to her. Lulu knew he was not happy because the boy never liked parties -they were too much hassle- but he had accepted it, because that was what his family was supposed to do. They were important and wealthy and had a standing in this society that came with responsibilities and appearances his other life didn't. By day, it didn't matter -Ciel could be the carefree teen, Ciel Phantomhive. He could just be the normal kid that went to a normal public school and had friends. He could screw up and walk away- but in the evening he had to be the proper character he'd been born to be, his true self, Ciel Sinclair. Ciel had to be the gentleman his parents had raised him as and he'd have to put on a glamorous show and smile, act as if what happened six months ago was a problem of someone else's because, in truth it was, it was something that had happened to a boy with a different name -a name that Ciel had picked up from reading an old family tree and just used because it had fit and had done it's job of separating him from his rich other life. It had protected him from everyone else and shielded his true identity so he wouldn't receive special treatment and had been allowed him to just be himself.
The sort of dent in his family's reputation that came with an heir trying to take his own life couldn't exist. The Sinclair's were perfect. They were regal and they were noble. They were the family every other wanted to be and the people every business sought to impress. They were gods in this world and that could not change.
It was a pressure Lulu could not begin to comprehend and sometimes she wondered if it really was so absurd that Ciel would want to die and be free, to have an existence that was sole and not shared between two very different images and people.
Safaia Aoi
"Tighter." The girl demanded, smiling when the constriction around her shoulders increased and the ribbons securing her dress behind her were drawn ever closer together. She ran her hands down the soft and silken material that flowed over her, feeling the smooth plains of her stomach through the satin and curving her fingers over her perfect hips, down her semi-bare thighs with contentment. For some reason, seeing that image of flawless beauty reflecting back and feeling it for herself, it made Safaia feel incredibly good. She loved knowing she was magnificent and exotic and lovely and that she was craved by boys. She lived for the yearning stares that others gave her and took pride in being utterly stunning. That was what she was best at and what would be the reason she could be truly happy. It was what she had wanted her entire life and had never anticipated she would get. Never in her time had she thought it would have been given to her so easily.
I'm beautiful and rich and adored. My life is something that is a dream to normal people. How could I possibly want anything more?
Yet she did. Safaia did want more. She wanted what was yet to find her -the one thing she hadn't found yet but wanted more than anything- and that thing was love. Safaia wanted that magical thing so much it hurt. She wanted to be like those other girls at her school that had cheeks like rose petals, flushed with happy affection. She wanted to have a pair of warm arms around her and her heart to skip a beat the moment she looked into the face of her lover. She just wanted it. Yet, she hadn't got it yet, no matter how much she had hoped it would come her way.
"Starla, have you ever been in love?" Safaia asked her maid, stepping down from her podium to bob her head so the shorter girl could fasten a silver chain around her head, a glistening sky coloured jewel hanging to sit between her brows comfortably. The colour matched her eyes perfectly and complemented the ivory shade of her dress, bringing out the best of her creamy skin. She wore a necklace too with an identical gemstone jingling between her cleavage. Turning around so the girl could start on her hair, Safaia awaited her maid's response.
"Starla?"
A white ribbon was tied low in her pale blue hair, forming a ponytail in the middle of her shoulders, tickling her skin. The bow was elegant and pristine, just as she had wanted, and a wonderful counterpart to the lilac flowers she had pinned in at the sides.
"Don't be ridiculous." The girl answered, the thick mass of tight blanched curls from her high ponytail bunching out behind her black and red lacy headdress bouncing. Her fringe covered over one half of her face, leaving only one eye visible, with two longer, separate locks twining down over her breast on either side of her face. "Something as futile as that is of no use to me. Love is far too irrational for my tastes. It can drive someone to insanity."
"Maybe." Safaia said, "But it can also make people really happy."
The girl laughed, making the black crucifix-shaped drop earrings she was wearing jingle "Yes, but at a risk that it will also shatter you from the inside out and leave you destroyed."
Handing her mistress her shoes, Safaia slipped on the strapped heels, admiring herself in the mirror. She was fabulous, as always, and would surely make an impression. Perhaps tonight would be the night she would meet her prince charming after all, she hoped. Flickering up her lashes to the other end of the room, Safaia's gaze fell on the only other person that had populated the huge and ultra modern room. It was a teenager completely identical to her maid, -he looked no older than, say, fifteen- sporting hair as white as snow that fell in and around his face prettily. His red eyes were darkly amused, the shade bearing a strange resemblance to that of blood and matching his shirt. His trousers were black, the same as his sister's Gothic Lolita-style dress, apart from where red ribbon twining her bodice at the front and back. His skin was also just as white as hers -so pale it was nearly the same as their hair- making the red lacy trim at the hem and sleeves of Starla's dress almost shocking. This was especially obvious where the maid's dress hung off her shoulders and the red was directly on the white. Both wore ebony gloves covering their hands and matching dark ribbon at their throats, a single silver bell each hanging free.
"What about you, Bailey?"
Starla's twin gave a smirk, flipping a coin over his knuckles. His white tail was swaying behind him freely. With a dark laugh, Bailey suddenly appeared behind his sister, circling his arms around her waist and planting a delicate kiss on her cheek. "Of course not." He agreed with his sibling, "Why bother with something so boring when toying with humans like you is so much more fun?"
Safaia rolled her eyes, "Whatever." She said, "Just make sure you two be careful at the party tonight and keep your tails and ears well hidden. The last thing I need is for people to start thinking my family is into cosplay. We have a reputation to uphold, especially for tonight. The Sinclair's are coming so everything has to be perfect."
Bailey's arms fell away from his sister so she could curtsey obligingly, his tail immediately disappearing from sight, along with a pair of cat ears that had been on his head and Safaia knew he so frequently loved to reveal when no one was around.
"As you wish." Starla said.
"As you wish." Her sibling grumbled.
"Oh, and another thing," Safaia remembered, "I want you two to fix something for tonight's entertainment. My parents asked me to find an entertainer worthy of our family so that tonight would be something to remember. It needs to be first class and immaculate -something you could show to a queen- for both children and adults. It'll be done just after dinner is served so we're talking about nine o'clock. Is that sufficient enough?"
"We'll see it done." Starla agreed.
Taking another glance in the mirror, satisfied, the blue haired miss gave her servants a nod, before exiting to finish all the remained preparations. She had no doubt what she had asked would be done, and done without question. The twins didn't have a choice and they would always obey, right up until her contract was complete and they could swallow her soul. After all, they were no normal two, they were demons and they were in her control, right until the very end. Opening her purse, she pulled free a pair of lacy white gloves and pulled them on over her hands, covering the dark and intricate tattoos burned into the top of each of her hands -both identical, yet each one slightly different- erasing their existence to the world.
And there it is, chapter one of this fic. It took a lot of time so I hope it was muchly appreciated and loved. Thank you for reading and I will try and update as soon as possible, however this will be done after New Year, as y'all can understand. I have a life too XD and a job... If it was any good please please REVIEW so I get the incentive to continue. Without you people telling me your thoughts, how am I supposed to know you want me to write more? As always, any questions, queries and problems are welcome and I will answer you, promise! A special thank you here as well to my Editor, Heti330 for making this exist and keeping me in check at every turn. Merry Xmas, doll! Heres me crossing my fingers this wasn't a massive let down and I won't get y'all trollin at me.
Now for the extensive and HUGE list of people I MUST thank for doing that bit extra for me. My extra special thankyous go to all these people:
+ LadyDragonIchi - Thank you for your Story Alert and your Review. You're right, the prologue was supposed to be alluring and mysterious, just a little taster for y'all to get you hooked. I'm glad you understood what was going on, but I'm afraid there's a little more to it than Ciel's boredom, however this will all be revealed later on for you ;) I have updated and thank you for the compliment, they extra time was much appreciated.
+ Paulinha Lupin - Thank you for your Story Alert and Favourite Story. Aww, you made me blush that you thought this was that good. Cheers!
+ Asparkofhope - Thank you for the Story Alert and I hope you enjoyed!
+ Carrie2Sky - Thank you for the Story Alert and Review. I'm sorry you were confused, but I promise I'll try to make things a little more clear for you. This prologue was supposed to be done in the way of the "Manga" Ciel (If you haven't read it, he is slightly more sadistic and evil and dark than in the anime and that's the side of him I wanted to amplify. I wanted to make him appear quite dark and cruel and twisted. In the words of my Editor, "He's a f**king psycho") as apposed to the softer "Anime" Ciel that is used for the (present) Ciel above (whom has been reborn). All you are supposed to understand it that Ciel has exorcised his own soul and cast out his powers to peeve Sebby off. That's all, for now. The summary explains the rest. Sorry and I hope this helped. I hope you keep reading and I'm glad I intruiged you. x
+ Aliac - Thank you for the Story Alert, Favourite Story (Aww...It's not that good, really ^/^) and the Review. Again, sorry for the misunderstanding. The explanation is above ^^^ and I hope it helped you too. I'm glad you liked this story and this chappy lived up to your expectations, truly. If you're still confused, just PM me and I'd be more than happy to help. x
+ Darkdelilah - Thank you for the Story Alert. Hopefully this was worth your time!
+ ObscurityWithinMercy - Thank you for the Story Alert and Review. I'm glad that this made sense to you after it clearly didn't to everyone else (I breathed a gigantic sigh of relief at that. Thanks!) Hey, assumptions are assumptions! Think as much as you wish. I would be entertaining if you were able to guess my plot XD! Maybe you're right! I'm glad you looked forward to this chappy and hope it was worth your while.
+ Nyanpire13 - Thank you for the Story Alert. Did you enjoy yourself? I hope so! Thanks again.
+ Orlyzara - Thank you for the Story Alert, Favourite Story (Really, you're too kind!) and Review. So happy you loved it! Indeed, Ciel is one smart brat... and I did continue, see? Was it just as shocking? Hopefully you were just as entranced by this as the prologue/
+ Promocat - Thank you for the Story Alert and Review. Did you think Ciel was a little too demonic? Really? Like I mentioned above, I was trying to amplify his dark side and maybe I went overboard...Thanks, that's useful and I'll try tone it down if Demon Ciel ever pops up again for you, although I'm glad you liked my little bad boy. Yes, he was indeed reborn and Sebby is no doubt SO ready to face his master (He's going to make an appearence in the next chappy so you'll need to keep reading to see his reaction ;) ). Yes, he should have realised by now -Ciel is a true master of games and this is true checkmate! Thanks and I hope you carry on reading!
+ WickedFey - Thank you for the Story Alert. I hope you enjoyed this.
+ Isthisparadise - Thank you for your Story Alert and Review. I'm glad you liked where this was going and that you though Ciel was in character (^/^ Well, I do try...) Will Sebby have missed Ciel? Hmmmm...you'll have to continue reading to find out! XD I know, I'm evil, right? And there were others from back then reincarnated too, as requested, see? Madame Red, Will, Lizzy and Finny, woo! There are going to be others to, but they're gonna come in later, maybe next chapter or the one after it, not sure... If you have any special requests, I'd be more than happy to oblige! We'll see how this works out. I hope you loved the chapter and that it was good enough for you.
+ Ajheartless - Thank you for the Story Alert and Author Alert. Keep reading!
+ Ninja-Penguin-Love - Thank you for the Story Alert. Much appreciated. x
+ Youdontwannaknow - Thanks for the Story Alert. Time Well spent, honest!
+ Sebastian Hiwajima -Thanks for the Story Alert. I'm glad you liked!
+ Tik-Tok-Sky - Thank you for the Story Alert, Favourite Story (Aww...really, you're too much!) and Review. I'm glad you found this interesting and I did update, see? Did you like it?
+ Sultan140 - Thank you for the Story Alert. Much appreciated. x
+ ilovemusic11 - Thank you for the Favourite Story. I'm glad you liked it that much!
+ Rae010101 - Thank you for the Story Alert. I hope this was all you hoped it would be. :)
+ KitsuneMagic48 - Thank you for Fave Story, Fave Author, Author Alert, Story Alert and Review (Jeez, you really liked this, huh? I feel so embarrassed ^/^ Thanks so much!) I'm glad you saw the fun and playful side of this! I hoped someone would appreciate my creepy sense of humour XD You thought Sebby as in character? Cool! (phew, that's a relief!) Yeah, I kind of though Ciel would be one of those kinds of demon who would enjoy tormenting another -hell, that's the way he is as a human!- I'm chuffed you wanted to see how this would go. I supposed only time will answer your questions XD, an chapters. Thank you (catches good luck and tucks in pocket) I might use this later! Hopefully this was to your liking.
+ Mudkiprox - Thank you for the Story Alert and Review. See, I did continue! Aww...thank you for the compliment. I bet you say that to all the authors ;) I hope this was just as good as the prologue and not too much of a let down. x
+ Pisces Amanda-chan - Thank you for the Favourite Story. Did you like it?
+ Inopportune Opportunist - Thank you for the Story Alert. I hope it was everything you hoped it would be. x
+ Akuma Kagami - Thank you for the Favourite Story (Aww...You shouldn't hate!) I hope you enoyed this. ;)
+ Natrium111 - Thank you for the Favourite Story. I hope you liked the chappy. x
+ KianaRia - Thanks for th Story Alert. Hopefully you will continue to read and this was good enough.
+ Numberone4eva - Thank you for the Story Alert and Favourite Story. Much appreciated.
+ Sadistic-neko - Thank you for the Favourite Story and Review. Yes...Sebby will indeed have plans for his mischievous master and Ciel should expect trouble, with a capital T! Our fave butler shall be making his appearence known so who knows what will unfold? Oh yeah, me...oh well! Guess you shall have to keep reading to find out. Thanks a bunch for the review!
+ Fedski - Thank you for Author Alert, Story Alert and Review. Is this ASAP enought for you? XD I tried, hehehehe (baring in mind this was pure luck the story was being Beta-ed when you reviewed. Please don't expect this to be updated so quickly the next time, 'kay?) Wow, I'm pleased you took to this so enthusiastically -here is the chappy, see? Thanks so much for the compliments ^/^ Honestly, you're making me blush...It's not that good, really... I'm chuffed with Ciel and Sebby and am SO relieved you are too. I intended to make this as close to the originals as possible and I'm glad you thought this was realistic hehe. I see that you like it so much, you posted your Review twice XD! Hopefully I shall have stolen your attention once more...
Well, that's it! Wooo, that was a LONG list of people, but seriously, keep them coming people and I am TRULY thankful for all of you for reading and taking that bit extra time to show your appreciation. It really has made my Christmas. I wish you all the best for the New Year and you have a good 'un, but for now, this shall be Nightshade signing off till 2012! If you message me or review, I WILL get it in my email (I check it every single day), and I SHALL answer you ASAP, but the STORIES are all on HOLD! ;) At least for a week, anyway...
Thanks so much to EVERYONE! Oh! And if you have the time, please can you tell me what you think about the newby characters, please? Thanks again!
~NightshadeTwiningTheRosary~