Source of all evil: Pink Ribbon
By: Shozetsku
Disclaimer/Warnings/Authoress Notes:
Novelist: Sasuke do disclaimer!
Sasuke: It's your disclaimer Aho, you do it.
Novelist: -holds out pink ribbon- Source Of All Evil! Source Of All Evil!
Sasuke: -jumps to safe distance- Watch where you fling that thing! Okay, okay! The Aho, here doesn't own Naruto, or the pink ribbon she found it. Like that cheap bastard she is.
Novelist: Shut up, or I'll make you kiss Sakura!
Sasuke: You're worse then the Dobe...
Novelist: Oh, Saakuraa!
Sasuke: Shit! –covers Novelist's mouth- Shut up! I thought you were joking!

SasuxNaru-ness later, bashing of the color pink, Sakura bashing, cursing, and basic insanity

Most of you expressed utmost laothing for The Pink haired demon... She will get her just desserts butI want to know how you want her to suffer! so review me with (practical) ways to punish her in later chapters. I will try to please all but they have to be a little realistic.

Chapter 1: The Curse of the Pink Ribbon (not to be confused with 'Curse of the Black Pearl' which was an awesome movie!)

Yes, it's probably not the best of ideas to walk around Konoha with a kunai in your hand, but when you do people tend to not make comments about you when you're within earshot. And when you are a teenage boy with a pink ribbon tied around your neck this is something that it is vital to save your personal dignity... and that is preferable to having whispers follow you wherever you go. Not that Naruto had any dignity to begin with, but you get the idea. The first day he walked around he was with Sakura and oblivious to the world. The next day he was acutely aware of the staring and whispers as soon as he started walking down the street. He ran up the outer wall of his apartment building to get an extra kunai. He decided to avod others as much as possible and took to jumping from roof top to roof top. Upon arriving at his intended destination he found Iruka's front door wide open. He shrugged and walked in, it wasn't unusual for Iruka to be so tired from teaching that he would leave the door open but it usually occured in the evenings. He walked in and looked around for that man whom always seemed to know what was going on and what advise to give to solve the problem. He heard movement down the hall and walked towards the noise. What he saw was NOT Iruka gently nurseing a wound he had recived from a stray shuriken.

More along the lines of KAKASHI gently nursing invisible wounds... with his toungue... all over Iruka's chest... OH-MY-GOD! Smack! Naruto had slapped his hand over his eyes and ducked back around the doorway. But the noise he made disrupted the two, well, more Iruka then Kakashi. (You know Kakashi, always a pervert, watched, not watched or otherwise -ahem- entertained.)

"Naurto?" Iruka asked from the other room, there were sounds of movement and a whining Kakashi so Naruto (hand still over his eyes) assumed that Iruka had begun pushing the other man off. However he didn't actually remove his hand. He tugged his shinobi headband over his eyes to free up his hands to cover his ears. He started screaming in his head every flavor of raman in an attempt to drown out the noise. When a hand touched Naruto's shoulder naruto flinched horribly, he felt the headband be pulled off his head and he saw a very apathetic Kakashi fixing his mask, Naruto's headband dangling from his arm. HIS headband was even more crooked then usual. Iruka did not look so disheveled, and even had the decency to look ashamed at being caught.

When Naruto had FINALLY calmed down enough to look at them he did so with a look of one who wished they had amnesia. Convincing Iruka that Naruto had NOT suffered TOO severe emotional damage was no easy task, but Kakashi is a stubborn man. Kakashi gently tossed Naruto's headband back to him, only Iruka had the decency to look ashamed of himself. As Naruto made rather more an ordeal then necessary about getting his Headband back on he thought of the one thing he most wanted to say. It wasn't his right to judge how his sensei's spent their time, and he really should have knocked, and the tension in the room made it hard to breathe. "Is THIS why your always late for eveything Kakashi sensei?" It was childish, stupid and yet conveyed that Naruto could have gone his whole life, not witnessed that EVER and died happy. To this statement Kakashi had no answer. Iruka however had many, all mumbled and inchoherent, they went somthing like this:

"I'm sorry you saw... Naruto, I... Oh, god we were caught... Naruto please don't tell... But you wouldn't... I'm, sorry you're not like that... Ishould have known... I KNEW we would get caught...Oh, god why?... Why me?... Wait... What am I talking about?Why Kakashi?..."

"HEY!" Kakashi glared at his lover with one eye, "What's that mean?" Iruka ignored him.

"I'm sorry Naruto, you had somthing to ask me before...that?"

Naruto sat in scilence, finally he said, very softly but firmly, "My rent." he got confused looks in answer "Price of my scilence, pay my rent this month." he told the calmly. Both men stared at him, utterly dumbstruck, but eventually nodded seeing that they didn't really have a choice in this matter.

"ButI really did have a reason to come by, Iruka-sensei." Naruto added quickly, and still sitting on the floor, he told them everything.His gift to Sakura, Sakura's return gift, the staring, Sasuke's double take and he finally came to the part where the asking for advise came in.
"...And I know I promised Sakura-chan that I'd wear the ribbon, and she said she'd never speak to me againifI didn't wear it. But it's PINK and everyone is staring and whispering worse then ever and now their even laughing at me!" Naruto fisted his hands in his hair as though he was going to pullit out by the root's. "Iruka-sensei, what'll I do?"

Kakashi raised a finger in the air and tool a deep breathe to explain to Naruto that Sakura was more than likly lying through her teeth to makehim look like a fool. And if that was the case then the whole thing was pointless and he should burn the ribbon so when he became Hokage and it couldn't be used as blackmail... If he became Hokage. But Iruka put a hand (a little harder then was necessary) to his mouth, stopping him. "He asked the Dolphin not the Scarecrow, brainless." (yes I know, blatant Wizard of OZ reference but I couldn't help it! ...I don't own that either so don't sue!)

"Well, from what you've told me Naruto you have two options. Keep your word or keep your dignity, it's up to you to decide." Kakashi stared at his scarred lover but said nothing. Naruto thought over what Iruka told him and didn't look happy. "Is there ANY way for me to keep both?" Iruka laughed a little, "It's your choice, wear or don't wear the ribbon, Ican't tell you what to do with your personal life, just what you could do."

Naruto thought this over too, (and it was hard work!) then he finally stood, thanked his sensei's, promised that he wouldn't breathe a word to anyone and left. As they watched him leave Kakashi looked quizzically at Iruka. "Sakura's doing it to be mean to Naruto, why didn't you tell him so? It would have saved him a good deal of trouble." Iruka shook his head, "You know as well as I Naruto wants nothing more then to have his feelings for Sakura returned, He gets few opportunities to be happy, so I want to be as happy as he can when he can. Even if it is a lie."

"It'll hurt more in the long run." Kakashi told him simply. Iruka nodded, "That may be true; butI think Naruto is for someone else and if that's true then it won't hurt as bad for as long."

Kakashi shook his head, "You're a hopeless romantic, do you now that?" Iruka smiled softly, "And what did you mean by 'What am I talking about? Why Kakashi?'"

Iruka blushed, "I-i was flustered." he said lamely. Kakahsi pulled his mask down again (All Kakashi fangirls -including Authoress-: DROOL!) to kiss Iruka softly. "It's a damn good thing you're drop-dead sexy, do you know that?" Iruka laughed out loud. Kakashi took advatage of this and proceeded to kiss Iruka, he was determinded to start over until he was back at the place he had left off with Iruka and continue from there...

END Chapter 1!

Yay! IrukaxKakashi-ness right off the bat! Poor Naruto, a straight guy walking in on that! But he got a month free from rent! But next chapter it gets worse I can assure you. Konohamaru will see Naruto's ribbon! That should be GOOD! But I can't decide weither to have Konohamaru loose all respect for Naruto or Copy him and wear a ribbon too! (but of a different color!) Or should I do both? FEEDBACK VITAL FOR NEXT UPDATE! Review me! I beg you! Reviews are what drives me to update!

...Oh, who do you want to do the disclaimer for later chapters? Next chapter Gaara! FEEDBACK! Review's make every Authoress' day from bad to good!