A/N: I did some marathon editing to get this chapter up-hopefully this'll help with the distress from the prologue.

Please review! It motivates me to work faster. And let me know if you spot any mistakes, as my work is, as usual, unbetaed.

Chapter 1

It has been three years since James Kirk was murdered on the bridge of an alien ship, and the known universe is ripped apart.

The United Federation of Planets is dissolved, and all citizens are under the dictatorship of the Vehsins. Other species and races suffered the same fate—Klingons and Romulans and Humans and Vulcans are united in their subjugation.

The actual war was swift and merciless. Vehsins proved to be powerful telepaths, and used their unique skills to torture and drive insane those that stood against them. They saw other telepathic races as threats—the Betazoids were entirely purged, as were the majority of Vulcans. Any other being exhibiting telepathic tendencies was placed in 'reprogramming' centers, and most never reemerged.

Spock himself was imprisoned for long months, accused of 'inciting traitorous actions', and was driven past the brink of insanity. He was mercilessly tortured, both physically and mentally, and when he was reduced to a mindless puddle, he was released—labeled 'reprogrammed,'—to serve as an example to those that wished to rise against the Vehsin overlords.

Christopher Pike found him after his release and brought him to Brazil, where the Terran resistance hid among the trees of the Amazon jungle. It was months before Spock was able to have even a semblance of normalcy, but Pike goaded him into healing, telling him several times that he was fairly sure the Vulcan was getting better simply to spite the Vehsins.

Spock privately agreed with this assessment—he certainly didn't think his healing had anything to do with his own desire to continue.

A year after his release, due to the mental scars within his mind left behind from the reprogramming, Spock was still not able to control his emotions with traditional Vulcan methods, and so he gave up trying. It was pointless to persevere in an exercise that had no hope of success—feeling emotions would not kill him. So he focused his efforts elsewhere—namely, the resistance.

He stole a ship—a stealth fighter based on Romulan bird-of-prey designs—and for the past fourteen months has again spent every waking moment fighting against the Vehsins. The Yeht-gav* was fast and had a cloaking device—something that had allowed Spock to get out of tight situations more times than he could count. She was sturdy and dependable, and Spock could fly her solo if the need arose.

A week after he had stolen his ship, he snuck aboard a prison transport with the intent to kill the commander and had been pleasantly surprised to find his brother already aboard, with a knife poised over the Vehsin's throat. One quick slice put them in control of the ship and together they freed the rest of the prisoners before crashing the transport into a Vehsin space station. This act remains one of the largest victories of the resistance.

Afterward, Sybok hesitantly suggested they stick together—after all, they now more than ever were alone in the universe. Spock agreed without hesitation.

After finding Sybok, Spock's next stroke of luck happened during a raid of an outlying Vehsin base. Spock instigated the raid with the intent to steal medicine that the Vehsins were denying colonists. But instead of medicine, he had found both Uhura and Scotty, who had been assigned as servants to the commander of the base. They escaped with minimal effort (meaning no destruction of the base, but several dead Vehsins) and they joined Spock's crew.

They found Dr. McCoy working at a refugee camp on U'niva, and for a short time the crew of the Yeht-gav used the camp as a home base. McCoy never had any plans to leave the planet, (solid ground plus helping people who needed it equaled a serious plus in McCoy's book) but under Vehsin rule, stability was next to impossible. Word got out that resistance fighters were being helped there, and the Vehsins destroyed the settlement. With nowhere else to go, McCoy signed on to serve under Spock as well.

('')

Spock was meditating in his captain's quarters when his door buzzed. "Enter," he said, resigning himself to failure in his meditations for the day. Sometimes he wondered why he still bothered.

Sybok stuck his head in Spock's quarters. "Transmission for you. It's Sulu."

"You could not simply have commed me?" Spock replied, looking up at his brother from the floor. He straightened his legs and sucked in a breath when his knees popped—he'd been sitting for too long.

Sybok shrugged. "Wanted to stretch my legs. I've been at the helm for thirteen hours."

"It is unnecessary for you to remain on duty for such lengths," Spock mumbled as he rose from his mat. He worried about his brother, who often pushed himself too hard for the good of the ship—but Sybok had always been a bit on the obsessive side.

Sybok shrugged again and smiled slightly as they walked together to the bridge. "I wanted to. We're near a couple Vehsin bases—someone needed to keep watch." Spock nodded in wordless thanks as the door swished open.

Nyota was talking softly into the comm when they entered the bridge. "Oh, he's here, Hikaru. I'll put you on the main screen," she said, and flicked a switch. Sulu had been on the forefront of the rebellion from day one, and currently was the captain the Katana, another small fighter. He was known for his rather daring one-ship attacks on much larger vessels, and had a high success rate. Spock thought it was a miracle that he hadn't been arrested yet.

"Hey, Spock," Sulu said with a broad smile. "How are you guys?"

"We are adequate," Spock replied, and Sybok clapped him on the back before turning to grin at Sulu.

"Don't listen to fussy pants here. We've been busy. Several successful raids, and we destroyed a troop ship last week. Vehsins didn't even see what hit 'em."

Spock glanced at his brother. "The textbook reason to employ a cloaking device," he deadpanned, and Sybok punched him in the shoulder, grinning. Spock quirked the side of his mouth up and then turned his attention back to Sulu. "How is your crew, Captain?"

Sulu shrugged. "We're alright. Pavel broke his arm last week planetside cause the idiot decided to get into a fistfight, but other than that we're dealing."

From the background, Chekhov's voice floated out: "I was prowoked. They were insulting you, Hikaru."

Sulu rolled his eyes, and behind Spock, the door swished open, revealing both Scotty and McCoy. They waved hello to Sulu and settled back, waiting to hear why he had called.

"Right," Sulu said. "Business. Pike contacted us—" he held up a hand to stop Uhura's squeal of excitement. News from Earth was hard to come by, and the whole crew worried about Admiral Pike, who was the unequivocal head of the Terran resistance.

"He's doing great," Sulu continued, "running the underground on Earth. Apparently they're making progress in training Starfleet-style. Good stuff all around. Anyway, he told me that they've received intelligence that the Vehsins have a think-tank type thing on Thern IV. They're forcing scientists to develop weapons for them.

"We think that the base is relatively vulnerable, and we're trying to get a group together to mount an offensive to rescue the scientists. Would you guys be willing?"

Sybok slid into his place at the helm. "We could make it to Thern IV in two days at warp four."

"We will help," Spock responded.

"Great," Sulu grinned. "We'll rendezvous with you in two days. I'll send you the coordinates. We've also got backup from the Valour and the Blackjack. That'll give us about ten fighters—maybe more—planetside plus support from the air. It should be enough to take out the base. There're supposedly five scientists being held there."

"Understood," Spock replied. "We will see you in two days." Sulu waved them off, and the screen went dark. Uhura pressed a few buttons and sent the coordinates for the rendezvous to Sybok's console.

"Estimated arrival in forty-five hours," Sybok said, and Spock nodded.

"I will remain on the bridge. Everyone else, please rest. I will need you to be at your best for this offensive." The crew voiced assent and turned to leave, except for McCoy, who lingered by Spock's chair.

"May I help you, Leonard?" Spock asked, turning to him.

McCoy plopped down on Sybok's vacated chair. He glanced at his hands before speaking. "Y'know, it's three years tomorrow."

Spock stiffened. "Yes."

"How're you doin'?"

"I assure you, I am acceptable. The anniversary of Jim's death will be a day like any other."

McCoy sighed. "Yea. Just like any other." He glanced down and fiddled with his jacket for a moment before continuing. "…You know, I'm upset too. You don't have to act like it doesn't bother you. I mean hell, Jim was my best friend, and I know what you two had. It's understandable if you're angry or somethin'."

Spock hesitated. McCoy had only been aboard the Yeht-gav for three months, and Spock was aware that the doctor found it disconcerting when he allowed himself to show blatant emotionalism. And the subject of 'Jim' was a touchy one… "I feel that perhaps inflicting violence on the Vehsins at the think tank will provide an acceptable outlet for any residual emotions I may experience at this time of year," he finally said, and was relieved when McCoy barked out a laugh.

"Yea, that should be good… nothin' like a good old fashioned ass-whuppin' to let the anger out," the doctor said, and Spock nodded sagely.

"Indeed. Now you should get some rest, Leonard." He reiterated.

"Right. Well, let me know if you need to talk or anything." He stood to leave, and Spock made a small gesture that made him pause.

"Perhaps when Sybok relieves me, we would be able to speak of pleasant memories we have of Jim."

"That'd be great, Spock. I'll find you when you're off-duty." McCoy gave him a small smile and left the bridge.

('')

At 2100, Sybok sauntered back onto the bridge, humming under his breath. "Everything quiet?" he asked, and Spock distractedly answered in the affirmative. Sybok scrutinized his brother for a moment before saying, "Are you all right, Spock? You seem more… reserved than usual, and you know that's saying something."

"I am acceptable," Spock responded with a hint of annoyance. He reminded himself that Sybok only meant well—in the time they'd spent together, his brother had fully embraced the role of the protective older sibling.

Sybok continued inspecting him, apparently thinking, and Spock huffed slightly. "Sybok…"

Suddenly realization dawned in older Vulcan's eyes. "It's the anniversary of Jim's death, isn't it… I'm sorry, I'd lost track…"

"It is of no concern." Spock tried to sound calm, but his brother narrowed his eyes.

"I'm allowed to empathize with you, Spock. I've lost friends and lovers as well. Perhaps if you wanted to speak about it… or I could…"

"I do not wish for you to 'share my pain'," Spock snapped, then took a harsh breath to stabilize himself. "I apologize. My outburst was uncalled for. But I do not… to utilize your unique talents would be a… slight… on Jim's memory. It pains me to think of him, but my memories of our time together remain sharp. I do not wish to dull them."

Sybok nodded, and placed his hand on Spock's shoulder. "I understand. He was very important to you. I wish I could have met this man who so captured my brother's heart." He hesitated, then added softly, "I mourn with thee."

Spock let out a shaky breath. "Thank you, Sybok."

"Right, well, I came to relieve you. Get some sleep, little brother. At least meditate, yea?"

"I have plans to meet with Doctor McCoy to reminisce, but after, I will strive to do both," Spock told his brother. "Thank you again for your concern." He left Sybok, who was still watching him thoughtfully, and paused for the door to open before then heading for the medbay. He found McCoy there, immersed in reorganizing the shelves.

"Leonard," he said, announcing his presence, and McCoy started.

"Oh, hey Spock." He stowed away the last of the gauze, and turned, PADD in hand. "We're running low on antibiotics that'll work for you and Sybok. You think we'll be able to pick some more up somewhere soon?"

"I will attempt to arrange for restocking the next time we are near a base. Send me a list of everything we could use, and I will attempt to fill the order." Spock told him, and simultaneously started thinking about where they could get extra money to restock their medical supplies. He allowed himself to momentarily wistfully remember the days when he could simply requisition supplies.

"I'll do that," Leonard promised, and then bent to rummage in the cabinet that served as his 'desk.' "So you want to talk in my quarters or yours?" he asked, and emerged from the cabinet with a small flask of whiskey and a chocolate bar. Spock looked vaguely incredulous, and McCoy matched him eyebrow for eyebrow.

"It's tradition to drink when talking about your fallen comrades, Spock, and since you metabolize alcohol too damn fast…"

"Consuming intoxicating substances may be inadvisable at this point."

"Oh, we won't get drunk. I know that's not a good idea. It's just… tradition."

There was a brief silence. "Very well," Spock finally sighed. "I believe my quarters are the larger of the two. We should go there." McCoy grinned in victory.

They spent the next several hours telling increasingly ludicrous stories about James Kirk.

McCoy started the night off (accompanied by a long swig from the flask for him and a square of chocolate for Spock) with the story of how, their first week at Academy, Jim had solved all ten of Professor Tenalin's supposedly 'impossible equations.' Spock was impressed—the cadets that were able to solve the legendary problems numbered in the single digits and were usually in their final year at the Academy.

Spock countered this story with a detailed accounting of Jim's first diplomatic encounter, during which he managed to first wildly offend every single member of the Iixi delegation by accidentally insulting their religious beliefs (in Jim's defense, their belief structure was highly illogical). But Jim had thought fast, and using his considerable charm, by the end of the meeting he'd received four marriage proposals.

They laughed together over Jim's inability to keep his shirt in one piece on missions ("He destroyed shirts on 63.7 percent of all away missions," Spock said) and reminisced about his bravery and dedication to his crew. Spock groused about how Jim had repeatedly guilted/tricked/begged him into completing his paperwork for him, and McCoy complained about how difficult it had been to get him into the medbay for any sort of regular checkups.

To Spock's surprise, this discussion with McCoy did indeed make him feel better. Finally though, they realized it was late and both men needed to get sleep.

"Thank you for this, Leonard," Spock said when McCoy headed out. They were both slightly buzzed, and McCoy laughed before giving Spock a hug, which Spock awkwardly returned.

"Anytime, Spock. Anytime." McCoy said, and then he was gone. Spock retreated to his bed and turned his face into his pillow. He needed to meditate—now that he was alone with his thoughts, he realized that discussion of Jim had affected him more than he was comfortable admitting.

He rolled over and stared at the ceiling. "I miss you," he whispered into the darkness, and thought that killing several Vehsins in the next few days would indeed be an excellent diversion of his anger. Then he slowed his body's functions and forced himself to sleep.

('')

They arrived at the rendezvous point, and Spock beamed to the Valour along with the other captains, as she was the largest ship. The four captains were seated around a small square table in what passed for a meeting room—the Valour's captain, a large bear-like alien named Whr'nk, sat at the head of the table, opposite Spock. Sulu and the Blackjack's captain, a frankly terrifying human woman named Reynolds, sat across from each other.

"I will beam down with Sybok and Uhura," Spock was saying. "Scott and McCoy will remain aboard to provide weapons cover from the air and to man the transporter."

Sulu nodded. "I've only got a crew of four right now, and Chekhov's got a broken arm. He and Keenser will stay aboard, and I'll beam down with Riley."

Reynolds nodded. "My crew's not the… fightin-est type, but Awee, Sivit and I'll beam planetside. Everyone else would just get in the way. And we ain't tryin' to not kill Vehsins, right? Cause Sivit's awful fond of his guns." She smiled toothily.

Whr'nk, laughed harshly and rumbled, "On the contrary, Reynolds. We shall attempt to decimate the Vehsins on this base. If any are left alive, I will consider this raid a failure. I will provide five warriors, and two will remain onboard to man our weapons array."

Spock shook his head slightly at Whr'nk. "Above all else, a successful retrieval of the prisoners and the destruction of the base will signify victory. The death of the Vehsin guards will be an added bonus."

Whr'nk and Reynolds laughed heartily, but Sulu just looked slightly sad. Spock ignored this—Sulu was fully aware of Spock's troubles. He knew he had changed.

They made the remaining arrangements quickly and beamed back to their respective ships. By mutual agreement, they had one hour before they needed to be in position.

The hour passed quickly, and soon they were hovering (cloaked) over the Vehsin base, waiting for Whr'nk's signal. The bridge was tense and silent.

Uhura pressed her finger to her headset. "Go," she said clearly, breaking the silence of the bridge. Scotty and Sybok spun into action, working with perfect precision, swooping down on the base, firing as they went. Sybok's missiles hit the generator dead-on, and the base was plunged into darkness.

"McCoy, report to the transporter. Uhura, Sybok, ready?" Spock yelled (the other ships were still firing, taking out communication towers and lines, and the noise was deafening even through the ship's hull).

Spock, Sybok, and Uhura scrambled to the transport pad, and with a whirr and fission of energy, they were on the ground.

"You two check that building," Spock instructed, pointing to a structure that looked like a barracks. "It is likely the prisoners will be kept there. I will check the main building. The other teams should be down any moment, we are on communicator frequency nineteen. Go!"

They responded instantly, and Spock allowed himself momentary gratification that his crew worked so well together. In the distance, he saw an orange smear of light, and Whr'nk's team materialized, perfectly intercepting a large group of Vehsin security.

Spock turned his back on the resulting bloodbath and wound his way toward the main building, inspecting the outside for an easy entrance. He should be able to gain egress with little difficulty—and he was alone for a reason. Whr'nk's people were providing the distraction, and a single Vulcan was far less likely to be noticed.

However, the plan was not perfect—they had not been able to gather intelligence about the frequency of Vehsin patrols, and therefore, when he rounded a corner, he ran smack into three jumpy guards. They were well-trained, but terrified (Spock was pleased that the attack had caught them so off-guard) and Spock was far better prepared.

With several well-placed shots, he almost immediately killed two and incapacitated the last. After glancing around to make sure they had not called in reinforcements to their area, he approached the injured guard, who was glaring at him from its position on the ground. It opened its mouth to speak, but Spock calmly reached down and pinched it, rendering it helpless. He then took a breath, strengthening his mental shields.

This was one of the reasons he in particular had been called to help with this raid. His telepathic abilities were often used by the resistance fighters on missions that by necessity needed to happen quickly. If he could meld with a prisoner during the fight, the resistance would have all the same information within a few seconds that they otherwise only could have obtained after months of reconnaissance.

In short, he needed to meld with the Vehsin to find the location of the prisoners, as well as any sensitive documents that they could steal before the base was destroyed. However, due to Vehsin telepathic ability, the few melds that Spock had initiated resulted in extreme pain on his part. It had never again been as terrible as that first psychic attack, but they were far from pleasant.

He sucked in a breath, preparing himself, and lowered his fingers. But just as Spock was about to delve into the unpleasant buzzing of the Vehsin's mind, his communicator chirped. He withdrew his hand with the slightest feeling of relief to answer.

"Uhura to Spock. We've met up with Sulu's team, and we've found two of the five scientists. He's taking them back to his ship. Reynolds found two more, and those ones said that last man is being held in the main building. Apparently he tried to lead them in a revolt, and he's due for execution. They're calling him Saul."

"Acknowledged," Spock responded. "I have captured a Vehsin, and will ascertain his whereabouts now. Beam back to the ship and have McCoy ready." He didn't listen to Uhura's response—he knew she would obey him, and he needed them aboard in order to get out of here as fast as possible. Wasting no more time, he placed his fingers on the Vehsin's face and cringed when its mind flooded into his.

/small cell, prisoner curled in corner, beaten raw/ the alien's mind ripped through his, leaving raw sores in its wake. Even unconscious, the Vehsin was actively fighting him, hiding the information he wanted. Spock ground his teeth in frustration and shoved himself more violently into the Vehsin's mind. It mentally cringed, and the location of the last prisoner's cell swam into view, followed by schematics for a large-scale orbital weapon.

Spock withdrew quickly, suppressing his urge to vomit. He had the information he needed, and flicked open his comm to contact Reynolds. After a brief exchange, during which she confirmed that she would be able to get to the plans, Spock refocused on the rescue of the final prisoner.

At his feet, the Vehsin was beginning to stir, and Spock waged a momentary war within himself, eventually losing the battle to his anger. He swiftly drew his knife (a present, long ago, from Jim) and slit the alien's throat. He instantly felt calmer, (which, as always, should have worried him, and also as always, didn't) and coolly wiped the alien's black blood off the blade and his hand and onto the Vehsin's jacket.

He then allowed himself 3.2 seconds to clear his mind and reinforce his shields before sprinting toward the main building. He broke down an outer door that the mind-meld had identified as being a weak point, but then was forced to retreat slightly as a small security detachment spilled out. Practically functioning on autopilot, he picked them off one by one, and felt no remorse that he had his phaser set to the highest setting.

Minutes later, he was sliding down a grey hallway, listening carefully for any sound of pursuit above the emergency klaxons still sounding. He turned a corner and surprised a guard, who he dispatched with a precise shot to the throat. It fell with gurgle, and Spock suppressed the urge to sneer as he relived it of its key.

He swiped the key through the reader and let himself into the holding cell area. "Saul?" he called, remembering the name Uhura gave him. "I am here to rescue you. Please call out."

"Here," a weak voice floated toward him from the end of the row of cells, and Spock shivered involuntarily. He pushed an illogical thought (that the prisoner had a familiar voice) to the back of his mind and quickly found the cell the he was being held in.

He glanced in as he swiped the key through the lock. The prisoner was curled on the ground against a side wall, in a position that was at least moderately defensible. He appeared to have a broken arm as well as several skin lacerations—some of which appeared to be quite deep. His hair and beard were long, matted, and dirty. If it were clean, it would perhaps have been blonde.

The door swung open and Spock stepped forward. "Are you able to stand? We must hurry. This building is shielded, but if we can get outside, my ship will beam us to safety."

"Yea," the man said, and looked up.

Spock's world came to a screeching halt, and he staggered backwards, suddenly certain that he must have received a blow to the head and was hallucinating.

Familiar blue eyes (dulled slightly by pain) stared at him, confused at his obviously intense reaction. Spock forced himself to breathe, and a strangled word slipped past his lips.

"Jim."

* Yeht-gav = Justice