This pain of betrayal

"Peter you gave them up to he- who- must- not- be- named. Why peter, why did you lead them to their deaths? How could they trust you? How could I trust you? Where did we go wrong? Where did you go wrong?" Sirius whispers to himself as he gazes mournfully at the Potter's home now ablaze in Godrics hollow. Over their burning home hangs the dark mark mocking him over their unsightly demise.

This anger over what is lost

"How could I have been so stupid, so innocent to believe Peter wasn't the spy? We were so stupid, I was so stupid we knew there was a spy and now James, Lily and Harry have paid for that mistake with their very lives" Sirius cried to himself as he ran past James Potter's cold dead body in hope that at least one of them lived against all odds.

This burden that I carry

"Lily and James are dead. They are dead because I trusted Pete- that rat. I will find a way out of here and when I do his blood will water the ground for years." Sirius growled out to himself in his little piece of hell, in Azkaban. He thinks day and night that this is what he deserves for trusting that rat with so much. And because of him he always thinks so much was lost. So until he kills him for all that he has done. He will live out his deserved punishment in his own mind.

It all holds me down

"Harry you've grown up so much in so little time" Sirius murmurs to himself as he sees Harry leaving Number Four Private Drive with his trunk before deciding to turn into a black grim like dog. Being careful to not get to close to harry in fear of being caught looking by him. As he saw Harry fall onto the stone cold pavement because of him in his own mind he silently promised to always stay an arm's length away from him because you can't hurt or be hurt by someone if you stay far enough away.

Always held in the same nightmare

"James, Lily!" Sirius yells in despair as he wakes up from his nightly nightmare of that night that has haunted him for so many years. Shaking from what he wishes was fantasy, in the house that once belonged to his mother and father. The home of his dead family, the home of the Blacks but he is the only Black left and that is only in his name and blood; nothing else ties them together.

That nightmare is my life

"I let them all down so why am I the one to live and not them." Sirius mumbles to himself as he sees Harry look at pictures of his long dead parents with sorrowful eyes and a frown on his face. Thinking back on his life trying to find out where he had ever gone wrong and if there was anything he could have done to even stop this.

It haunts me day and night

"Why did this have to happen, why?" Sirius whispers as he still blames himself for what has happened in the past and was because of another person that was once their friend.

In my dreams I see it over and over, again and again

'Did they die fighting for their lives or did they die trying to save Harry or maybe even both?' Sirius thought to himself seriously just seconds after he awoke from yet another nightly nightmare.

This is not a life it's just a nightmare

"I'm joining you all after all this time now aren't I? Now I can wake up from this nightmare. My only regret is that I didn't say goodbye to everyone yet" Sirius whispered to himself just as he fell into the veils deadly grasp.

-Sirius Black

Unjust prisoner, Betrayed friend, Godfather