A/N: Thanks for the reviews, alerts, favorites; your support is always appreciated.

Sidenote: There's no guarantee when they will be filled, but I am now accepting and taking prompts – Resident Evil 6 Chris/Piers, Dragon Age, and Mass Effect.

Disclaimer: Bioware owns Mass Effect, I do not own What Dreams May Come.

Kaidan was surprised with what followed. His eyes opened. He woke up. Almost immediately, he knew it was different, however. He didn't go from that to here. Wherever here was. Wind shifted the grass and weeds growing around where his prone body had fallen. Or appeared; this was all something he knew nothing about. It wasn't as if he'd died before. Once you died, you died – you didn't come back. Shepard had broken the laws of life and death with an impossible miracle. Kaidan, well, he wasn't so lucky.

He found it odd that he could still blink. His physical form was as physical as it had ever been. He placed one hand on the ground and pushed himself up. The grass shifted around him as he did so. Sunlight streamed down on him and he could its warmth seeping into his flesh. Feeling better than he ever had, he jumped to his feet to take a look at his surroundings.

The field stretched out for miles, for as far as he could see, until it reached the base of the mountains lining the horizon, where two suns were ready to set. Trees dotted the landscape and just off in the distance, toward his right, he saw a lake. He felt drawn to it. His feet carried him there with swift steps and when he stopped at its edge, he was blinded by the light of the suns. He lifted his head to shield his eyes and that's when he saw her, walking across the water like it was solid ground. He watched, astonished.

"LT!"

"Ashley?" He took a step forward, expecting to walk on the water like her and yet he fell in, sinking to the bottom until only his head broke the surface. The young woman chuckled as she knelt beside him. It was Ashley, alright. Clear as day, whereas she had been fuzzy before he'd come here. A thought hit him and he tried to flare his biotics, but to no avail. He did not glow the blue, or even feel the beginning of the pain that came with the following migraine. "You're not fuzzy now," was what he finally decided on saying.

"It's all about acceptance, Kaidan. When you accept it, it all becomes clear. Took me awhile to get the hang of it, you know how stubborn I can be." Ashley grinned. "Sure as hell didn't wanna die where I did. Sure they remember me, but hell, you guys got all the glory for stopping that prick Saren."

He cocked his head, the water at his chin. Not even cold. He glanced up at her. Only one question left his lips; "how is it you can walk on the water and I can't?"

The gunnery chief smirked. "Hell this is your world, LT. You can do whatever you want, if you will it. Try."

Kaidan found that her words made him smile, just an instant before they made his frown. Shepard had said similar words to him just before they'd charged out of the London base to take their final stand against the Reaper invasion.

Shepard.

She was alone there, without him. In the very ship, the very room, that was home to most of their precious memories. He didn't want her dead – if anyone deserved a good life, a long life, it was her. But he had imagined it with them together, with him at her side. Now, he was dead and she, she was alone. Not entirely, he knew, because there were still many there who would care for her, a few who loved her – like Garrus. But it wasn't the same. It couldn't ever be the same now that they were separated.

He couldn't dwell on that. As badly as he wanted to. He used his infamous determination, his will, focused it on his thoughts to turn them onto what he wanted – the thought of walking on the water. His arms pushed him to the surface and then he placed his hand on the water, lifting himself from it. They both rose and soon they were standing face to face, on the water.

"See? All a matter of will power."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her and instead, took a look at their surroundings. "Where are we?"

"This is your heaven, LT – you tell me."

Kaidan absorbed her words, mulling on them, as he took a long look at their surroundings. It was then, in that almost perfect moment of serenity in his heaven, that the memory came to him.

This was theirs; his and Shepard's. Their heaven.

Kaidan woke groggily, ignoring the beginning pains of a migraine. Restless, he patted the bed beside him for Shepard, only to find her side cold and empty. He sat up slowly and found her sitting across the room on the sofa, absorbed in something on her lap.

"What is that you're doing?" he asked curiously.

"Hm?" Shepard glanced up from her task. "What?"

"That," he pointed to what he now saw was a paper – yes, real paper – pad sitting in her lap as he stretched. He swung himself out of the bed. Honestly, it didn't surprise him that Shepard was up, even though they had only fallen asleep together a few hours before. He'd noticed after her resurrection that she had trouble sleeping. It bothered him that nothing he seemed to do helped her. He felt helpless, something he didn't like feeling around him; she was the forefront of the war, and yet he couldn't even help her sleep.

"Oh, this." She grinned almost sheepishly. "It's just a...drawing."

His brows rose sharply. "You draw?" How had he not known about this?

She winked as she replied with, "I'm full of surprises, Mr. Alenko."

Kaidan padded over to where she sat and took a seat beside her, his thigh touching hers. He frowned to find hers so cold. Pressing his shoulder to hers, he leaned closer, trying to get a look at her drawing, but she quickly pulled it against her chest to conceal it. And possibly to distract him from it with her creamy cleavage. "Why can't I see?" She looked away from him evasively, almost as if she were...embarrassed. "Vika, you don't have to embarrassed. Can I see? Please? I want to see." He let his tone edge toward pleading as he pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder.

With a huff, she rolled her eyes – he couldn't help but grin at that, as her attitude was just so charming. She pulled the paper pad away from her chest to let him see. His gaze swept across it quickly once, then took a slower, more leisurely, stroll across the paper with interest. It was a very well done pencil sketch. Large field, rolling hills, trees, a mountain range far in the background. The sky held two suns, instead of one, so it couldn't have been Earth. Toward the edge of the page, he saw a lake; on the lake was an island that held a simple, little house. It was beautiful, the scenery and the image; even more so since it had come from Shepard's hand. He glanced back at her, suddenly curious of what meaning it held to her.

"This is amazing. I wonder when you will cease to amaze me." She chuckled when he nudged her. "Which, by the way, will be never. Where is this?" He tapped the corner of the page with his finger.

"It's...Mindoir," she said softly.

Oh. He frowned, knowing this wasn't a particularly fond memory of hers – not when batarian slavers had rolled through and destroyed it all. "Your home?"

"No."

His brow furrowed in confusion as she smiled. "Then...what is it?"

She turned her cerulean eyes upon him, lips curling up into a more profoundly content smile. "It's our home, Kaidan."

"Our home?"

Shepard nodded. "I've been here before, but this house here...it's not there. Not yet. It's where I've imagined us settling down, after the war." She paused with a frown. "If the Reapers don't make us extinct first, I suppose."

"Hey, hey – look at me." He tilted her chin with a finger and brought her now sad gaze to his. "We're doing everything we possibly can. You have done impossible things, Vika. I'm afraid you're stuck with me because we are going to kick the Reapers back into whatever dark hole they crawled out of. You got me?"

She smiled and kissed him gently. "I got you."

Kaidan sighed; how naïve and hopeful he'd been then. The memory made him smile, however, because his heaven was her drawing, her vision of their future, their heaven. A future that, now, would never be. He'd died on her, leaving her behind to pick up the pieces. God, he missed her already. So damn much.

"Hey, you in there, LT?"

Ashley's voice brought him back to reality. "She drew this, you know. It's Mindoir, where she grew up. It's where she pictured up settling down." He pointed to the center of the body of water, watching as an island formed. The house appeared a moment later, but with more detail and a few changes, making it almost colonial and modern all at once. A perfect mix of his vision and hers. "There's where we planned to start our family."

She snorted. "Right, like they would let you and the great Commander Shepard retire and settling down. Heroes of the Reaper War would never escape long enough to settle down." She turned her eyes to peer across the lake. "It's a nice thought, though. I'll give you lovebirds that much."

"Yeah...it was, at least."

Ashley's hand found his shoulder to give it a reassuring squeeze. "I know it hurts now, LT. You'll see her again, when the time comes."

He nodded but with a frown, uncertain of how her words made him feel. Kaidan never wanted Shepard to die, to have to face that fate not only once, but twice. Not even if it meant being together. Shepard, more than anyone, deserved a long and happy life.

What Kaidan failed to recognize, was that without him by her side, that was an impossibility.

Shepard punched her fist into the glass, unable to look at herself. So much guilt weighed down on her shoulders. People hailed her, praised her, worshiped her, for everything she had done against the Reapers, but it only served to remind her of all that she had failed in.

Jenkins.

Ashley.

Pressly.

Thane.

Mordin.

Anderson.

Kelly.

EDI.

All of them dead, because of her; because of her inability to save them.

The worst...god, the worst was, and always would be, Kaidan.

Her love. Her life.

Her Kaidan.

Her Major.

He was just...gone. One moment there, the next, in the blink of an eye, a moment of a scream, and he was gone.

How could she save the Galaxy, but fail in saving him?

What did all those lives matter if she couldn't protect the ones she loved and cared for?

Shepard drew away from the now shattered mirror and walked listlessly into her quarters. She moved to the drawer of her desk to draw out the bandages, sitting in her chair to bandage her now bleeding fingers. Ever since returning to the Normandy and being looked upon by Joker's enraged eyes, she had not been able to stand the sight of herself in the mirror; that first day, she'd looked at her pale face, her shadowed features, and shattered the mirror with her fist. Then, each and every time it was replaced, and she was struck with the sight of her horrid face, she shattered it again. And again. Each scream more pained than the last.

She tossed the roll of gauze aside, then made her way to the bed, ignoring her dead and decaying fish as they floated listlessly in the water of her aquarium. Her eyes stared down at the bed. It seemed far too big for her now.

With a sigh, she turned and instead plopped herself on the sofa. Her terminal pinged but she ignored it, instead picking up the sketch pad that laid open on the table in front of her. She'd done this drawing one night, when thinking of home – and Kaidan. Those fields held such precious memories for her and she could only imagine the memories she and Kaidan would create there as well. Her fingers plucked up the pencil and she started drawing. A large willow tree, beside the house, it's branches long and draping like a protect cover over their home.

Ashley's eyes widened at the same time Kaidan's did. Even as they watched, a large, draping willow tree began to paint itself into his landscape.

"Wow. I've never actually seen this," Ashley breathed. "Real, true soul mates."

"What?"

"You're connected, even now. Through your vision, her image."

He glanced at her sharply. "You mean she's drawing this now?"

"Yes. Wow!"

They walked forward, across the water, until they were standing at the base of the tree. Kaidan reached out and touched it, closing his eyes. Elation filled him. Joy.

I'm here, Shepard. Feel me. I love you.

I love you.

Shepard's fingers froze as his voice filtered through her mind, her fingers gripping impossibly tight on the pencil until it snapped clear in half. "No. No!" She snatched up the half of the pencil that held the eraser and frantically began erasing the tree. "No! He's not here, he's dead. Dead!"

He'll never see this. You'll never see it now, Kaidan. Dead. He's dead.

She screamed and threw the sketch pad away from her.

Kaidan's joy slipped away from him as the tree began to whither beneath his hand, until it was no more than an empty husk of what it had been.

"It will get easier for her too," Ashley whispered.