I walked around and looked through the window, he was still sitting in the same position, he seemed astonished. He had taken it as something else, and yet I wasn't sure that was a bad thing. I left him sitting there and went in to the house. The second I got in the phone rang. I ran to answer it, who would be phoning at this time?
'Hello?' I asked.
'Bella?' A voice more beautiful than any I had heard in the last few months, a voice that sent me almost into hyperventilation.
'ALICE!' I screamed down the phone, I didn't think I'd been so happy in months
'How are you... Hold on, I need a minute.' she said, her tone was confusing me, she sounded relieved, and shocked, at the same time.
'What's wrong Alice?' I asked confused.
'You're supposed to be dead!' she exclaimed, her voice still beautiful, though she was clearly angry.
'I am? Alice, why are you angry with me?' I asked, feeling hurt.
'I'm angry with myself, Bella. How could you jump off that cliff? What about Charlie, what about me?'
'Cliff? Oh, I wasn't trying to kill myself. It just... looked like fun' I admitted.
'Fun? You... you were not trying to kill yourself.' It was no longer a question.
'No. But Alice, I've missed you so much! Where are you?!' I was still bursting with energy just from hearing her voice.
'That doesn't matter, everyone thinks your dead Bella! You don't know how lucky it is Edward hasn't found out about this!' even now, hearing his name made my chest ache.
'Um...' was all I could say.
Alice sighed, I could almost hear her train of thought, she knew this was bad, she knew he would be angry with her for being here. She was going to hang up, and I had only a minute talking to her.
'I shouldn't have called... I'm sorry Bella, I have to go' My heart beat suddenly sped up a notch, she couldn't go, not now.
'No! Alice, please, please don't go! I've missed you so much! Come and see me!' I was nearly screaming.
'I'm so sorry Bella, I miss you too, a lot.' I knew there was nothing she could do. He had asked for me to have a clean break, she was already breaking the rules. I sighed, all hope lost.
'Tell him I miss him.' I begged.
'I...' she began
'Tell him I'm nothing without him, tell him how much I need him. Tell him I love him, still.'
'I have to go Bella, I love you' She whispered and the phone clicked, her voice lost and replaced with a buzz.
'Wait! Victoria's back!' I shouted down the phone, but it was too late. I wondered whether she'd tell him the things I had said. I realised that he wouldn't care. Tears fell from my eyes without any warning. The hole was back, I'd been so busy thinking of how much I missed him, I forgot how much I missed the rest of the family I'd once longed to belong to. I leant against the wall and slid down, crouching, holding my knees close to my chest, holding myself together.
'Bella?' I heard Jacob say. I looked up, but my face held no emotion.
'What happened?!' he exclaimed. I just shook my head, I didn't want to relive it all. Tonight was going to be especially painful. I looked at Jacobs face, his eyes laced with concern, worry lines showing on his forehead. He crouched next to me, and pulled me into his arms. His arms were not the ones I longed for though, I wanted the cold, marble arms back, but this was all I had, his hot arms were better than none. I suddenly started shaking ferociously, tears falling like a waterfall. They were uncontrollable, and I didn't mind, I just let them fall freely.
'Shh... Bella, what happened' he sounded as if he might cry any moment himself.
'I miss them' I whispered, my voice cracking.
'I know, I know. I'm here Bella, I'll always be here' he promised.
'Alice phoned' I sighed, thinking of her beautiful voice, trying to store it in my memory.
I have to go Bella. She had said, she sounded pained. I love you. My mind couldn't get her voice anywhere near as perfect as it was.
'She... what, why?' Jake asked, he sounded angry now. He pulled away to look at me.
'She saw me jump off the cliff, she thought I was dead' I explained, I wanted to be strong, my pain seemed to be affecting Jake, as his pain affects me, but I couldn't manage to stop the seemingly endless stream of my tears.
'Oh Bella, if there was anything I could do, you know I would'
'I know. There is nothing you can ever do. I'm broke.' Jake looked at me, his eyes grew angry again.
'If I ever saw him, I would wake him pay for the pain he put you through' he promised fiercely,
'Don't. Don't say that, I can't bare thinking about it.' Jake looked slightly shocked, I think he was beginning to see just how much pain I was going through, the fact I still couldn't bare the thought of him being hurt, even after everything I'd been put through. Suddenly the phone rand again. I jumped up and answered as quickly as possible.
'Hello?' I breathed.
'Who is it Bella?' Jacob asked urgently. For a while there was nothing, then I thought I heard someone sigh.
'Edward?!' I asked frantically 'Edward, is that you?!' I was hyperventilating. I could have sworn I heard his beautiful voice sigh Bella
'Edward! I love you!' I half screamed. The phone went dead, and I suddenly felt stupid for believing there was any possibility it could be him. Tears streamed down my face again.
'What happened?! Was it him?!' Jacob gasped
'No. I thought it was' I choked out. He looked at me for a long minute, he could see the hurt on my face. Jacob took my hand and stood up, pulling me up slowly with him. He lead me upstairs into my room, and lay me on my bed. He took off my shoes and put my cover over me. He turned to leave.
'Jake. Can you do something for me?' I croaked.
'Of course Bella' he replied.
'Will you stay with me tonight?' I saw Jacobs eyes widen, but slowly walked over, closer to me. I moved over to let him in, and reached for his warm hand. He took one hand and put his other arm over me.
'Shh' Jacob cooed. 'I'm here, I'm always here.' He wasn't making me feel much better, but I tried to control myself. I couldn't how selfish I was being. I could never be good for Jacob, ever, and here I was leading him on, but I couldn't take tonight on my own. It seemed like it would never happen, but I slowly drifted to sleep.