On the planet of Nabeijing, several tree-cutting machines were leveling the forest that lay in their path. The process consumed time and energy, but Fung refused to recall the vehicles in order to park them closer to the capital city because he was determined to prove that his battle plan was intentional. This gave Oogwon and Shifu-Wan the advantage, because they could outrun the army if they were able to find a transport of some kind. Luckily for them (or perhaps not), a portly pig was struggling to escape the machines of doom. Oogwon promptly tackled him, pushing him out of harm's way. When he stood up, panting heavily, he held up his hoof.

"Thank you . . . for rescuing me . . . Those things . . . move really fast."

Oogwon glanced at the vehicles. They were being passed by snails. Shifu-Wan flattened his ears angrily.

"Are you honestly telling me that you couldn't get away in time?!" he snapped.

The pig bent over, still panting.

"Look, buddy, I have a thyroid condition. Don't look it up. It's rare."

He pulled a tissue out of his pants and wiped his sweaty chest. Shifu-Wan put his hand over his mouth and dry-heaved.

"Name's Ke Pa Binks," the swine huffed, "I'm from the city of Pigga-"

He fell over.

"Geez, they say that pigs can't sweat, but I'm dripping buckets . . ."

Shifu-Wan plugged his nose.

"Can you take us to this city of yours?"

The pig grunted.

"Can't. I'm banished."

"Why?"

"I'm secretly an evil dra- Um, I mean . . . I'm clumsy."

Shifu-Wan's ear twitched.

"What were you about to say?"

"Huh?"

"You said 'I'm secretly an evil dra-' and then you cut off. What were you about to say?"

Oogwon laughed and put his hand on Shifu-Wan's shoulder.

"Shifu-Wan, do not judge this pig. I'm sure he means us no harm."

"But he said he was an evil-"

"The Universe has brought us an ally."

Shifu-Wan held out his paws in disbelief.

"He's a fat pig who couldn't outrun a hunk of junk truck! We bumped into him by accident!"

"There are no accidents," Oogwon said wisely.

Ke Pa lifted his hoof.

"And I'm not fat. I have big bones."

Oogwon helped him to his feet.

"Lead us to your city. We must acquire a transport."

The pig gulped.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Oogwon smiled.

"Ideas are ideas. There is no good or bad."

Shifu-Wan grumbled bitterly.

"This definitely qualifies as a bad idea."

***PW***

Meanwhile, on the crocodile ship, the hologram was attempting to explain politics to Fung . . . for the fifteenth time. The croc's eyelids were drooping, and he was struggling to keep himself from falling over.

"-and when the Queen signs the treaty, the invasion will be legal, giving us an opportunity to- ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!"

Fung snorted and sat up straight.

"What? Who? Oh- Oh, yes! I'm listening. I'm listening real hard. I understand completely."

The hooded figure sneered.

"Repeat it back to me."

Fung scratched his neck.

"Uh . . ."

"Fool! How am I supposed to conquer Space-China if you can't even follow my most basic instructions?!"

"Politics is hard," Fung whined, "This whole treaty thing is really, really boring. Can't we just punch the Jade-i in the face or something?"

The figure leaned forward. A beak slid out from underneath the hood of his cloak.

"You can follow my orders, or you can die."

Fung tugged on his collar.

"Uh, okay, Master. I'll just do whatever you say."

The hologram pulled back.

"Don't disappoint me. Space-China will be mine."