Izuru Kira slinks out of his room. For the month that Aia Nenhaku has been with the Gotei 13, he has found refuge in the darkness. The slight mention of Gin shames him and most have learned to avoid tantalization – purposefully or not.
I truly believed that he turned evil. I hated him; I wanted to destroy him and make him pay. But all along it was a facade. I never really knew Gin – as a captain or a villain or a hero.
The sorrow crackles through him leaving deep wounds to his insides. With just a little more pressure he thinks. I could shatter.
"Izuru?"
His heart seizes and his stomach heaves. He wants to run at the sight of her but instead he stays in the same, foolish position that he fell into when Gin took off with Aizen.
The pressure.
"I understand you are not feeling the best mentally, but I want you to understand that you can trust me as a captain. Have you talked to Shuhei?"
He licks his lips, searching for the moisture to form and speak his words.
"No," he admits. He looks at his stockinged feet and then back at his new leader. "But may I ask you something?"
She smiles, a welcome to the possible trust he might bestow upon her. Aia is silently elated. Her smile widens, "Of course!"
Aia reaches over and snags one of Izuru's limp hands. They are soft but chilly, like a vanilla ice cream that can barely hold its form under the heat of the Gotei microscope. The genuine smile she gives with closed eyes warms him a little. He gets caught up in the moment and forgets everything except the loose strand of Aia's golden locks.
She is so much like me he scrutinizes. But does her past haunt her just as easily?
When her eyes peel open, what appears to be flashes of fatigue and sorrow deluge her eyes. This he takes into account - the clarity of her emerald eyes and how her strong emotions only make them more effervescent. It is not until her first sob that he realizes she has been crying.
He is taken aback by the sudden flood of emotion. In an attempt to pull his hand from between hers, he yanks. She easily holds on to explain herself.
"None of them knew him either. They aren't going to judge you because you were his co captain and never was told or never figured it out. They have no right. Shuhei was a friend; Don't lose him over something as petty as shame. Shame is often not as bad as we think it is."
Somewhere inside of Izuru Kira, a dam breaks. Relief streams through his inner scars, pouring its sweetness into the pit of his often sour stomach. Again, he licks his lips and is surprised that the sugariness has encased him - relaxing his muscles and ridding him of the tension.
"What did yo-" he starts.
But Aia is ready to move on. She has already forgotten the tears, the sudden burst of empathy and the hand-holding. Her face has become a blank slate and she utters that everyone else is ready to leave.
"Are you okay?" he pushes.
"I'm fine, Izuru. Just overworked. I'll be better once we hit the road and get outside, okay?" She smiles reassuringly and turns on her heel to leave. "We have til tomorrow morning to prepare ourselves but lets get an early start, okay?"
"I haven't yet seen her zanpakuto, even."
Shuhei analyzes his friends sulky demeanor and determines that Izuru is probably oversensitive to all that has happened. Still, Shuhei compares his feelings with Izuru's. They are identical twins – they appear the same until you understand them on a more personal level.
"They say she has more than just her spiritual power going for her. That her shikai will damage a hollow even if she doesn't touch it. No one has seen the entire thing used – they've only seen the end of a stalemate match between her and a rogue gillion. It sounds interesting."
Shuhei's head turns to view their new visitor and Izuru follows suit.
"Do you guys have everything ready?"
To be appropriate while talking to his superior, Shuhei stands and bows slightly.
"Yes, Captain Tsubasa. Everything is in order and the paperwork is finished. We are ready to leave if you are."
Roka grins; his earring glints in the light of the setting sun – appearing to catch fire before their very eyes.
"I can always count on you Shuhei. My end of the paperwork is finished as well."
Roka reaches up and snags a tiny insect from the air - a hell butterfly, with wings as black as Roka's hair. He whispers to the tiny creature with an excited glint in his eye and then releases it from his grasp.
Shuhei eyes him untrustingly. He never could see the eyes of Tosen – his previously blind captain. But he felt that, like a bell on a cat, Tosen's eyes would have given him away the whole time. No one has that much resolve when they know they are doing what is wrong.
"Why the smile, Tai-chou?"
"Walk and talk with me," Roka spews. His words have begun to sound sugary and sticky, something neither Izuru or Shuhei are truly up for. Out of respect, and necessity to arrive at the meeting point, Izuru stands and both follow closely behind Roka.
The fields they tread on are alive with fresh flowers and an airy mint flavor because of the wild mint that grows. They stride through wave after lapsing wave of spearmint and Captain Roka Tsubasa begins to explain himself.
"Don't you two ever just smile when you are around Aia?"
Shuhei simply says "No" while Izuru lies and cries false an octave higher than his normal speaking voice.
"Why?" asks Roka simply.
Shuhei shrugs. "I've never really spoken to her."
Before Izuru can pitch in another false answer, Roka cuts him off. "We all know that your answer was a yes. Lies are not welcome here in squad six, nor would they be allowed in your own for reasons we're all well aware. It was a simple question, asked by a superior who is not going to sell your answers at the market. Now then," Roka restarts himself. "Why have you smiled when she was around?"
Izuru is quiet. The silence resonates – a ping pong ball between them.
"Because she relates to you in so many ways, right? Because she feels what you feel, sees things how you see?" pushes Roka.
Izuru again looks at his feet and gives a sigh in response. The perfume of the delicate land flows through his nostrils as they round a large hill. A view of a new Senkaimon gate can be seen. It looms over the bodies of three people like a door to a forbidden temple.
Roka finishes the conversation before they approach the rest.
"Everything about Aia is attractive. She's sensitive and tough, mysterious yet you know exactly how she feels. She can make you feel comfortable in any room yet cannot and will not be defeated in battle. She is my best friend for those very reasons."
Roka tucks his hands into his black dress pant pockets, nontraditional from the typical shinigami robe. His air emanates sophistication beyond that of the feudal world they are surrounded by and he is as fresh as the air they breath. His greeting to the others is short, more quiet than he had just been; straight to the point, he waves them all in the direction of the gate and he takes the end like a business man trying to be professional.
Inside, purple goo gushes like a slow moving waterfall. An overpowering scent of despair thickens the air.
"Why did we take a Senkaimon?" asks Ikkaku, who has clearly won the battle over Yumichika.
Aia volunteers herself, dingily as if the space between worlds has brought her down.
"We have somewhere to stop first."
The gate opens on the end, revealing darkness over Karakura town. The living realm, though more contemporary than the spirit world, feels the same - not as constricting as the dimensional gateway.
Aia's face lifts a little and Shuhei realizes that all he has been doing in simply observing. A feeling of belonging lumps in his throat.
Why wasn't it ever this way with Tosen? He questions himself. He questions everything he once new. Will it be better this way?
Though trust is not something he does easily, he relaxes and keeps within the group, rather than hanging back to analyze every move.
Maybe it will get better.