I would like to put a plea out to the whole of the FF9 fan fiction community: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP WRITING SELF-INSERTS!! They're unimaginative and if I see one more I will start tearing my hair out. Thank you.
Clarobell:blushes: thank you for your kind words! It's reviews like yours that keep me going!
Icefoxer: Thanks! Yeah, it's pretty obviously who the voices are lol, but then I didn't really want to make it a secret.
Myshu: Hey Myshu! It's always nice to get reviews from you. I'm still (im)patiently waiting another FF9 fic from you:pouts:
Prozacfairy: MWHAHAA, Zidane is never safe when I'm around! In so many ways…:wink:
KASLiNN: LOL Omg I couldn't stop laughing when you said that!! And now whenever I write kami all I think is 'paper' LOL. Hopefully you know I meant the OTHER translation :wink: Even though I know that translating kami into 'god' is quite incorrect, as it loosely means 'spirit'…but saying that I have frequently heard it translated into 'god' so I thought I'd use it, ala Death Note :swoons over Ryuk: lol.
M u r m u r
Zidane dreamed. At least, that's what he thought he was doing. He wasn't completely certain, for he thought that at the beginning he glimpsed his hand and he distantly recalled Blank telling him that a dream is not a dream if one can see one's hands. But these disturbing thoughts were pushed aside when he recognised where he was.
Pandemonium.
Grey machinery sprouted from the ground like rotting fungi, cords connecting them to the ground, coiled like sleeping snakes. Zidane looked up and saw Garland atop a platform, the same one on which he had stood less than a year ago, while informing Zidane of his heritage and fate.
The old man turned his obsidian gaze upon the genome. His skin was almost translucent, pulled across his skull like an ill fitting mask. His heart which had once flashed with an eerie, supernatural light was grey and shrivelled, dead as the man himself.
"Ah," he said, "there you are, Zidane. You're late."
The thief returned his gaze with the lack of surprise that often accompanies a person in unusual dream situations, as if the abnormal incident was utterly ordinary; a day to day occurrence.
"Did you want something, Garland?" the blonde snapped, crossing his arms.
Garland chuckled. "My, my. You sound more and more like your brother everyday."
"I'm nothing like him!"
"Yes, yes, I remember you telling me last we met."
Zidane huffed. "So? What do you want?"
Garland began descending the spiral staircase in a slow, almost laboured manner. "I am here to tell you, perhaps even warn you, that my intended fate for you is indeed about to play out."
"Huh?"
"Did you think you could rid yourself of your origins so easily?" Garland laughed. "It is not over yet, my little creation."
"Stop joking around!" Zidane yelled as the man approached him. "What are you talking about? Terra was destroyed, and so was the Iifa Tree! Even Kuja…"
Garland stopped a few feet away from Zidane, black eyes burning into blue. "That may be so, but you are forgetting one important part of my plan."
"What? What? Tell me, dammit!"
The dead man smirked. "You will find out soon enough. They will see to that. Perhaps I have not failed my purpose yet, and neither you. With a single sacrifice you will finally become my angel of death, and Gaia will finally become Terra…"
"Never!" Zidane cried. "You're wrong! I wont! I wont ever become -"
"It is too late…" And suddenly his image began to fade, whispering away like the distant memory he was. "Too late. You're already rising… you are bec o m i n g… "
"Don't you dare leave now!" Zidane screamed and lurched forward in an attempt to grab the disappearing visage of his creator. "I wont become your angel of death! Never. Never! NEVER!"
00000
"NEVER!"
Zidane shot up in bed, beads of sweat trickling down his brow.
"Zidane?"
He blinked the blurriness from his vision and looked round, slightly disorientated and burdened by the heavy weight of dread and anger, remnants from his dream.
Garnet stared back at him with wide, frightened eyes.
"Are you okay?" she asked. "You were talking in your sleep. I tried to wake you up but you wouldn't…"
He released the breath he'd been holding and smiled at her concerned expression, at the little lines of anxiety marring her complexion.
"No. It was nothing. Just a dream, that's all," he reassured her, then laughed. "Man, it's nice to wake up and see your face again!"
His jest did nothing to quell her troubled visage however, and she said: "Zidane, what happened? One minute you were well and the next your were screaming, clutching your head…"
Zidane blinked and studied the room in which he lay. One of the guest rooms, he supposed. He tried to remember exactly what had had happened. He felt slightly odd, as if the room was too small or overcrowded; almost claustrophobic. It was a wholly unfamiliar and unpleasant feeling.
"I… I'm not sure."
There were voices. So many voices… all screaming in my head…
"I just… my head hurt."
Garnet cast him a doubtful look. "Your head… 'hurt'? I've never known someone to be fine one minute, screaming the next and finally passing out just because their head 'hurt'. What's really wrong?"
He smiled. "Honestly! My head hurt. I'm… I'm not completely better from the whole Iifa Tree incident. I still get headaches and stuff occasionally. My bones are still mending too… Look!"
He lifted his shirt to reveal an awkward looking bump and several red scars. "Broke three of my ribs and got torn up all over the place," he announced. "Nasty mess. Kinda glad it was Mikoto who found me instead of you."
She gave him a despairing look and ran a hand over his marred chest. He broke out in goosebumps and she pulled away, embarrassed.
Zidane cleared his throat, trying to ease a suddenly awkward situation. "So anyway, there's really nothing to worry about. Sorry I scared you."
"It's fine but…" She looked at him and he knew she didn't believe his watery excuse. "If anything else happens… just…. Be careful okay? I don't want to lose you again. I've only just got you back."
"Yeah, I'll keep you updated at regular intervals. Now, I'm starving! Where's the grub at?"
Garnet laughed. "I'll go to the kitchen and ask the chefs to rustle something up for you. Wait here and rest up. I don't want you collapsing again."
"Yes, mom," he replied teasingly and hid under the covers and she tried to land a well aimed swipe to the head.
Alone, Zidane stayed beneath the white sheets and contemplated what had just happened. He didn't want to tell Garnet the complete truth yet. He wasn't even sure what the complete truth was. Had he heard voices? It sure seemed like it. But then again what he had told Garnet was true: he was still suffering from the wounds he'd received from the Iifa Tree. Maybe he was suffering from some sort of weird concussion.
And what was with the dream? He remembered every detail vividly, as if it had actually happened. That was impossible of course, considering that Kuja had destroyed Terra… but Garland's soul had been trapped inside Memoria. Maybe the old man had come to warn him about things to come?
But if that was the case, and what Garland had told him was true, was he really going to become Garland's angel of death? Was Terra finally going to become Gaia?
Zidane huffed and rolled over.
Impossible. There was no way. And even if there was a way, Zidane would never do anything to harm the citizens of Gaia. They were… his family. This was his home…
"I'm not like Kuja," he said aloud and had the eerie feeling that someone was listening…
He chuckled nervously to himself. First sign of madness, he thought.
(actually, that's the second sign. The first is hearing voices)
Zidane sprung up in bed, releasing a startled cry. He fruitlessly scanned the empty room but knew already from where the voice have come.
"Who are you?" he whispered. "What do you want?"
Silence.
"I heard you speak. Well… heard you as in… in my head… so not really…" He huffed. "Where are you?"
No reply.
"Dammit, answer me!"
Nothing.
Zidane bit his lip, suddenly feeling as if a million invisible eyes were all watching him, analysing his every movement. Waiting. Again, that claustrophobic feeling returned.
After several more attempts at making contact, the thief finally gave in and slumped back against the mattress, already doubting whether he had even heard the voice in the first place. It wasn't at all like the first time (if he'd even heard voices then), where it had sounded as if hundreds of people were screeching at once. No, this voice sounded cool and collected.
Garland, perhaps?
Could be.
Zidane shook his head, wishing for some company to distract him from the thoughts spinning inside his head. Which possibly weren't his own… possibly someone else's. A hundred someone else's…
"That's it!" he announced brusquely to the empty chamber. "I'm going out!"
Forgetting completely that Garnet had gone to get him food, he went in search of his Tantalus brothers. It was them who had nurtured the incapacitated genome back to health, broken bones and all, after Mikoto had located and somehow dragged him from the wreckage of the Iifa Tree. He owed Baku a debt that could never be repaid in his lifetime; the stubborn boss refused to leave the tree until Zidane's body was found.
Mikoto had returned for Kuja's body and buried him just outside of the Black Mage Village. Zidane even heard that she had erected some sort of stone monument over the site.
The thief found his kin at Ruby's Mini Theatre, playing a round of cards and drinking (several) rounds of beer. They looked up when he entered and stood in greeting.
"Zidane!" Cinna cried. "You okay, man?"
"That rat-chick told us what happened," Blank supplied. "Maybe you're not completely better, you know?"
Baku half-heartedly thumped him on the back. "You meant to be outta bed, boy? Or did ya drag yer ass back here so I could look after ya again? 'Cause it aint gonna happen now you've got royalty lookin' after ya."
Zidane laughed and shook his head. "Nah, I'm fine. Dunno what happened. Guess I just kinda blacked out. Pushed myself too hard, maybe."
Marcus raised an eyebrow. "Freya said you were screaming in pain."
"Freya overreacted," Zidane uncharacteristically snapped. He was sick of people worrying over him. "I'm walkin', aren't I?"
They resumed the game and bought more beer. Zidane joined them, subdued and irritable, but a few beers later his general anxiety fuzzed away in his mind. He gave up on the game and settled by the bar, head resting in the crook of his arm.
It was while he was contemplating the slow ascent of the bubbles in his drink that it came again.
(kami)
He sat up, shocked, looked round. No one noticed. He said nothing but waited, listening attentively.
(kami)
He opened his mouth to speak back, but thought better of it. Best not arouse suspicion just yet…
Wouldn't want them to worry even more, he thought.
(that wont matter soon)
What? You can hear my thoughts?
(we created you)
Garland?
(Garland is dead)
I know that. Who are you? What are you doing in my head?
(we are not in your head. I am not in your head. We are everywhere. We are wandering. We are lost. You will change that, kami)
Kami…? What is kami?
(you are kami. You are our kami)
I don't understand. Who are you anyway?
(I am Murmur. I was one of the original scientists that initiated the genome scheme; I aided the creation process of your genetic structure alongside Garland before I, too, was put under)
Zidane stared blankly at the contents of his flagon, desperately trying to process this bizarre and unexpected information.
Wait… so… you… you're a Terran?
(correct)
I thought all the Terran's were dead?
(only in physical form. Did Garland not teach you this)
Uh… it's a long story… If you're not alive then how… how is this possible?
(Terra is gone. Iifa Tree is gone. Garland is gone. I sensed a disruption in the cycle of souls and awoke… now all have awoken and we wander…)
Oh. So you're a Terran soul that's woken up? Damn. I thought you'd been destroyed along with the planet…
(where are our vessels, kami)
…
(where are our vessels, kami)
You can't have them.
(we need vessels)
(yes)
(we need vessels)
No, I'm sorry, I can't -
(help)
(us)
"Yo, Zidane."
(we need)
(vessels)
(help)
No!
(kami)
(kami)
"Zidane?"
(please)
(we wander)
(cannot find)
Shut up!
(Terra is gone)
(you need to give)
(help)
(help us)
(kami)
"Yo, man, you okay? Zid-"
(kami)
( K A M I K A M I K A M I K A M I)
"ZIDANE!"
Zidane fell backwards off his stool as a hand touched his shoulder, sending his beer flying forward and drenching him.
The voices abruptly stopped and he blinked away the daze he had succumb to, only to find his Tantalus brothers staring anxiously down at him.
"Hey, dude, you away with the fairies or what?" Cinna yelled. "You totally tripped out."
Blank shook his head. "This isn't like you, Zidane. Something's wrong."
(KAMI KAMI KAMI)
"Shut up!" Zidane yelled, then clamped a hand over his mouth.
My gods, he thought, I'm going mad!
"Seriously, man, what's up?" Blank pressed.
"Now listen here, boy. I'm gonna tell you what yer gonna do," Baku boomed. "Yer gonna go back to the castle and get some rest. No gettin' up and walkin' round. Yer not well. You go with 'im, Blank. Keep an eye on 'im."
"Yes, boss."
Zidane stared at his gloved hands and shook his head in disbelief. This was crazy! What on Gaia was happening to him?
And in his head he recalled the ominous voice of Garland.
You are becoming…
Yay! I like destroying Zidane's mind and spirit, poor little monkey boy :laughs evilly: Oh oh! I'll give you three magical cookies IF you can guess where I got the name 'Murmur' from!! Please leave a review!! Thankies.