Note: This is the original chapter from "Are You Ready To Fight". The final chapter should be up in the next couple of days.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
I went to school for years. I got my bachelor's degree and my masters. I started working on my doctorate. I applied for internships at a variety of labs around the country.
When I was offered an internship at the Jeffersonian, I was elated. I would be able to get the practical experience at one of the best labs in the country, working with one of the best forensic anthropologists in the world.
I showed up on my first day, prepared to learn. I was a little insecure when Dr. Brennan was abrupt and distant. I wanted to impress her, so I worked harder and vowed to act professionally.
Then Dr. Addy returned from Iraq. I finally understood why Dr. Brennan was so distant with me. He took his place as her assistant, and I worked less closely with her.
When Dr. Addy was placed in the mental hospital, Dr. Brennan started a rotation of interns. Every week, one of us would assist her with her work.
When it was my turn, I learned a lot about forensic anthropology. However, I learned too much about my colleagues. No one in that lab has any sense of discretion. There was tension between Dr. Saroyan and Angela because Dr. Saroyan slept with Angela's ex-husband. That caused tension between Dr. Hodgins and Angela, so they broke up. Angela insisted on speculating on what was going on between Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan while they were in England – or whether Dr. Brennan had slept with the anthropologist there. When they got back from England, Dr. Brennan started dating two men, and naturally that was the talk of the lab.
I couldn't believe it. This was supposed to be a place of work, a place of reason and science. Instead, it was a soap opera.
I considered quitting, but I had dreamed of this opportunity for years. I didn't want to give it up because of my coworkers' inability to focus on the job. Instead, I decided to make it clear that I wanted no part of the drama going on in my colleagues' personal lives. I would be strictly professional and focus on the job.
My endeavor to stay professional had limited success. I had to keep reminding people that I did not want to hear about their personal lives.
It was hard to avoid, though. Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan bickered constantly.
"Bones, how many have I told you to park under one of the lights in the parking structure? And yet today, what do I see? Your car, way back in a dark corner!"
"Booth, I had an appointment this morning, so I got in late today. All of the closer spots were taken. Besides, Dr. Johansson from Paleontology parked beside me. We walked in together."
"And will Dr. Johansson be leaving at the same time as you, or were you planning to walk to the most deserted corner of the parking structure alone when you leave after dark?"
"Booth, you're being ridiculous. I can take care of myself."
"Like you took care of yourself when the gravedigger kidnapped you from that same parking structure?"
"That was the middle of the day, Booth."
"So … your argument is that you'll be safer after dark than you were in the middle of the day?"
"I will be careful, Booth."
"Bones, I don't believe you! Do you want to get kidnapped again?"
"Of course not, Booth. I've said I'll be careful"
"Promise me you'll have a security guard walk you to your car tonight."
"Really, Booth, I will be fine on my own."
"Promise me, Bones."
"Why is this so important to you, Booth?"
"It is important, Bones, because I need to know you're safe! You're my partner! Do you know what it was like for me to get that call from the gravedigger?"
"But Booth, that wasn't your fault!"
"Of course it was my fault, Bones. It's my job to keep you safe."
"Your job is to catch criminals, Booth. You're not responsible for me."
"Of course I am, Bones. We're partners. I know you can take care of yourself, but we both know that no one is alert and careful all the time. I don't want you to get hurt because you let your guard down for a second."
"OK. I promise."
"What?"
"I promise I will get a security guard to walk me to my car tonight."
"Thank you."
Hodgins was always trying to get me to help him with crazy, clandestine experiments. I know he convinced some of the other interns to help him, but I tried to resist.
"Clark, I need your help."
"I'm busy completing this examination for Dr. Brennan. What do you need my help with?"
"Look man, it's not a big deal. I'm doing an experiment. I just need you to keep a look out for Cam and press this button when I tell you to."
Was he crazy? Cam was my boss! Helping him could get me fired.
Angela had her own idiosyncrasies. I learned about her relationship with Roxie, their breakup, the guys she dated, her eating habits, and her quest to find a new apartment. I heard her talk about shopping trips she dragged Dr. Brennan on. I even heard about her trip to Vegas with some friends – and believe me, that involved stuff a co-worker should not hear about.
The worst, though, was being trapped in a Booth's vehicle on the way to a crime scene while he and Dr. Brennan discussed an incident from the weekend.
When Agent Booth picked us up, things seemed a little more strained than usual. I didn't know why. Of course, I didn't want to know why.
We sat in silence, Dr. Brennan looking anxiously at Agent Booth every couple of minutes while he stared doggedly ahead.
Finally, she spoke. "Are you still upset about the movie?"
He didn't reply.
"Look, Booth, I know you were uncomfortable, but there really is no reason to be."
He glanced over at her. "Just drop it, Bones."
I was hoping she would, but of course she couldn't let it go. "Booth, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. We're both adults. This really shouldn't be a problem."
I really didn't want to be part of this conversation. "Dr. Brennan? Agent Booth? Would it be possible for you to have this conversation later?"
Dr. Brennan replied absently, "No, Clark, I think it's important that we talk about this now."
Booth glanced at her again. "Bones, give the kid a break. We can talk about this later … or never. There's really nothing to talk about."
Dr. Brennan reached out and put her hand on his arm. "Booth, I didn't know that the movie I picked was x-rated. I'm sorry you were embarrassed, but I don't think there was anything to be embarrassed about. I thought the movie was very well done."
I could see a muscle in Booth's jaw twitching. Finally, he replied, "Bones, that wasn't really an appropriate movie for colleagues to watch together, that's all."
"But … we're friends too, right?" I could hear the insecurity in her voice.
Obviously, Booth could too, because he answered right away. "Of course, Bones. I just don't think that was an appropriate movie for us."
"Well, Angela and I are friends and I don't think she'd have a problem watching a movie like that. This is because you're uncomfortable talking about sex, right?'
I sat in the back seat, wishing she'd change the subject. I'm uncomfortable talking about sex with them. Does that count?
Apparently not. Booth answered, "I'm not uncomfortable talking about sex – I just don't think it's appropriate for us to talk about sex."
Sometimes I don't understand how someone so smart can be so clueless. "Why is it inappropriate for us to talk about sex? Angela and I talk about sex all of the time."
"That's fine, Bones, I just don't think it's a good idea for us."
"Oh. You mean because you're a man and I'm a woman and we could actually have sex?"
I wished I were anywhere else – but I have to admit, I'd never seen an FBI agent blush before.
"I made you uncomfortable, didn't I? I didn't mean to. I know we're not going to have sex."
That got her another sideways glance from Agent Booth. Finally he spoke up. "It's OK, Bones. Can we just drop it?"
She pushed her hair back behind her ear, her eyes still focused on him. "OK, Booth. I'm sorry. Next time you can pick the movie. Maybe we can go to one of your cartoons."
Booth obviously thought the conversation was over, and he visibly relaxed as Dr. Brennan turned to look out of her side window.
I was relieved that they were finally done, and I went back to enjoying the quiet in the vehicle.
I rejoiced too early, because Dr. Brennan broke the silence with one last statement. "Unless we start having sex before the next time we go to a movie. Then that kind of movie would be fine."
I think I'll volunteer to ride back to D.C. with the remains.